Silentpony said:
Well there's a little bit of a divide in there. Dudes who watch porn, which is all dudes, are usually fantasizing about being the dude in the porno fucking the babe, or whoever is getting fucked. Its different because they're getting off to the idea a person who meets whatever fetish they have wants to have sex with them.
But it's still using voyeuristic means to derive enjoyment from
watching someone else fulfil your fetish.
People have written very sophisticated and complex psychology pieces on what the mental process behind porn enjoyment actually is. Suffice to say, it's a very complex thing which varies hugely by genre, tone and individual preference. In pornographic movies actors are often playing characters who may have quite different qualities to the audience. Interacial porn is overwhelmingly written to be consumed by a white audience, and yet those white men probably don't consciously want to be black. So-called lesbian porn designed for straight men is entirely predicated on acts and experiences which a male bodied viewer cannot participate in.
One thing you could say is that the basic subject/object dynamics means that the viewer of porn is always normatively placed in a dominant position. Even in femdom or cuckold porn, the viewer is not the person being humiliated, they're watching the person being humiliated safely from a position of power. They get to see everything and yet not be seen themselves. Is that really enough to make it different to the real thing, however, or is it merely enough to sustain the illusion that it is different?
Silentpony said:
A cuckold finds sexual satisfaction in someone not wanting to have sex with them.
Having been pretty active in the fetish and alternative lifestyle scene for a while, and having done cuckolding myself. Nope. This is, again, largely something porn and internet fantasists have made up. Most people who consume that kind of material aren't actually into cuckolding in real life, it's a safe fantasy for them which they engage in in secret, not because they would actually enjoy it happening in real life.
In reality, cuckolding on the fetish scene isn't really a dominant or submissive thing at all, or more specifically it can be either. You do get guys (and it is overwhelmingly guys) who are really into being sexually humiliated, sure. Sometimes, very, very rarely they manage to find someone female who is willing to go along with it, or else they pay a couple to pretend. However, you'll also get dominants who use cuckolding as an expression of power over submissive partners, as a way of making them feel dirty or inviting punishment. More typically, though, it has nothing to do with D/s and is just about voyeurism. You get to see your partner through someone else's (fresh) experience, and that's incredibly sexy. For me, it was exactly like watching porn, only better because the actors actually know you exist and are consciously putting on a show for you, and better still you know you're actually going to get to fuck one or both of them later.
So no. I don't buy this restrictive assumption of what the emotional dynamic is. People who watch cuckold porn on the internet may be attracted to the idea of not having sex because they're not having sex anyway, that's why they're watching porn instead of actually doing these things. That's the sad truth of any kind of fetish or kink thing, the vast, vast majority of people who fantasise about it will never actually try to do anything about it, and it shapes their experience accordingly.
