Is it moral to date my friends ex?
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I would feel guilt. Lots of guilt. Like I'm betraying my friend. But that's me, and if you don't feel guilt, then go ahead (I guess). Oh and make sure he won't hate you for it. Girls are not worth that much.
My suggestion is to NOT do it.
My now ex-best friend was going out with a girl from our group of friends. She was funny, cute etc.
Long story short, they broke up due to him being a jackass to her. Even as just a friend to the girl, I found it quite disgusting how he treated her. So, they broke up, and I consoled them both. However, a few months before they had broke up, I had started feeling attracted to her, but out of honour and friendship, I never made a move on her, even when they had broken up.
What DID happen, however, is a few months after they'd broken up, we had become really close friends, more so than before, and she was clearly attracted to me just as I was to her. So, we started seeing each other. This was about 5 months after they'd broken up.
My mate was pissed. I could see where he was coming from, but it didn't matter-I figured he'd be man enough to understand that it was simply two people who had feeling for each other, and that he was the cause of their relationship dying anyway. Regardless, he wasn't mature enough to see that, so we stopped being mates (bearing in mind we had known each other since we were 3 years old).
Him going off on a rant shattered our main group, with one friend going with him, another becoming a total scumbag, another becoming someone completely different. 3 years into the relationship, we broke up with each other. It was a mutual thing, and I certainly don't regret it-But those friends who split back then are still apart. Quite sad, really.
So, no - Unless you really see something special about the girl like I did (I.E: Not just a 6-month typical teen romance), don't do it.
My now ex-best friend was going out with a girl from our group of friends. She was funny, cute etc.
Long story short, they broke up due to him being a jackass to her. Even as just a friend to the girl, I found it quite disgusting how he treated her. So, they broke up, and I consoled them both. However, a few months before they had broke up, I had started feeling attracted to her, but out of honour and friendship, I never made a move on her, even when they had broken up.
What DID happen, however, is a few months after they'd broken up, we had become really close friends, more so than before, and she was clearly attracted to me just as I was to her. So, we started seeing each other. This was about 5 months after they'd broken up.
My mate was pissed. I could see where he was coming from, but it didn't matter-I figured he'd be man enough to understand that it was simply two people who had feeling for each other, and that he was the cause of their relationship dying anyway. Regardless, he wasn't mature enough to see that, so we stopped being mates (bearing in mind we had known each other since we were 3 years old).
Him going off on a rant shattered our main group, with one friend going with him, another becoming a total scumbag, another becoming someone completely different. 3 years into the relationship, we broke up with each other. It was a mutual thing, and I certainly don't regret it-But those friends who split back then are still apart. Quite sad, really.
So, no - Unless you really see something special about the girl like I did (I.E: Not just a 6-month typical teen romance), don't do it.
Don't do that...if your going to post something, post it. If not, don't waste time posting a "placeholder".Joshimodo said:
How I loathe the "Bros before hoes" statement. I wouldn't even say hoes before bros, but I understand what you're saying.Daveman said:
Sure, I felt guilty after I started going out with my girlfriend, and apparently ruining my relationship with my friend. I realized though, that it wasn't my fault our friendship fell apart. It was his. It was his from the start. I never went behind his back, he was the one that blew everything out of proportion. You're in high school. From the sound of it, it seems like you're a sophmore. There are plenty of friends to be made in high school and if this kid has a problem with you going out with her, fuck him. Like I said, he doesn't deserve your time then.
Trust your instincts. Go on my son! Woof woof! (a cookie to whoever gets the reference)
But actually, go for it if SHE is into YOU.
But actually, go for it if SHE is into YOU.
I hate the expression, "Bros before Hoes". I have plenty of females who are as close or closer to me as friends then my, "Bros".
There broken up. If she wants to be with you, and there isn't some nasty, lingering, they might get back together thing going on, then go for it. If hes a real man, who deserves to have had her in the first place, then he will be happy that she found happiness elsewhere. The fact that it's with his friend should be a bonus. You owe it to him to let him know what's going on, sure. But if there is a problem, its either because he was too obsessive and clingy, or treated her too much like property.
There broken up. If she wants to be with you, and there isn't some nasty, lingering, they might get back together thing going on, then go for it. If hes a real man, who deserves to have had her in the first place, then he will be happy that she found happiness elsewhere. The fact that it's with his friend should be a bonus. You owe it to him to let him know what's going on, sure. But if there is a problem, its either because he was too obsessive and clingy, or treated her too much like property.
I say what a month or so and see how he acts around her and vice versa. Go for it if they're friends but don't if one still seems into the other
Morality... depends on your morals, some don't define that particular situation morally at all.
Ask him if it'd be cool. If he says yes, cool. If he says no, determine what you want more, her or him. That's your call.
Ask him if it'd be cool. If he says yes, cool. If he says no, determine what you want more, her or him. That's your call.
Well, if he was infatuated with her and still loves her then he'd probably be heartbroken and envious as all hell. If not then he's probably not too fussed about it and you should talk to him about it. On the other hand (aforementioned) give it some time in the oven before making a move, perhaps convince your mate that there's other girls out there (there really is). It also depends how good friends you are with this guy.
Ask him how he feels first, just to give him some warning. Seriously, it may seem like that just because they broke up, that he won't care, but a lot of these kind of things can end kind of messy. But you know, if he gets really upset about it, treat lightly. If not, go for it! Best of luck!
The wisdom of some stupid made-up code? You have to be joking. The fact that people cling to this "Code" is ludicrous in and of itself. If everyone was this way, nobody would find someone that interested them. I am far better off with my girlfriend than I ever would have been with that "friend". The fact that this upset him to such a degree shows just how much of a "friend" he was.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
Go ahead, follow your "Bro Code". Pass up the love of your life if you want to. I'm not about to do that.