Is it possible to lower your libido?

[Ivan Stefani]

I'm really not using the "I have a friend that", but I swear. If it was me, I would say.
I have a psychologist friend that was complaining about the same thing.
Having this is bad if you're trying to engage in a serious relationship, because if you are on the drive, and someone else that's not your partner offers a quickie, you might end up regretting an action made by impulse.

After some research, he told me that there's two main causes of this. One is hormonal, and a simple blood test can detect excess of some hormone.

And the other is behavioral. For example, in the country where I was born, man to be man has to check out a girl and do a comment like "wow, what an ass, great tits, etc". I wasn't like this, even felt a little bad to be near people so immature, but after a while, I was doing that too.

If you're an extremely shy person, try to change your behavior first.

Our society oversells sex, specially for men. Lady characters with massive cleavage, TV Shows and movies with girls using dresses that not even a professional prostitute would use, magazines and websites with naked woman and porn.

The thing my psychologist friend said is that cutting these sources is the best thing to start a change in the way you see sex (or woman, I'm supposing you're a dude, now it's done). After that, when facing something that really triggers that part in your brain, try to make a strong connection between something else (like the color of the eye, or the smile) which diverts your mind from it.

Of course you should go to psychologist and talk about this with a professional. But I'm just trying to help. The media and society keeps growing this sex drive in people, and we are left doing dumb stuff on the automatic.

Keep safe.

 

[___________________]

Yeah it is. Whenever something that arouses you hits any of your senses, just think of it as being boring. Think "oh...this again?....pfff everything is always the same, how boring and predictable, the world sure is brown, bland and grey" then roll your eyes and walk/look/crawl/slither/fly away from it. Even if you don't really believe it's boring, you'll be able to bore your brain so much you'll lose interested for the amount of time necessary for it to focus on something else. When you finally can't take it anymore after days of repressing your libido, just go for a wank and reset the process.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

Castration seems to work most of the time.

 

[SinisterGehe]

Mental control, when you get the drive and you don't want it. Just calm down, control yourself then distract yourself. After a while your cognitive mind will learn to connect A to B.
It works with many things, I use it to control anxiety-, pain and panic attacks. It takes a while to learn and master but it works. Mind can control the body fully if you let it. (this isn't any spiritual bullshit I am not in to that mind, body soul bollocks. This is science, calming your mind does work as a control mechanism towards mental and physical states.)

But if you really think you have severe problems; like in a way they cause problems and make daily life hard. Talk to a doctor, he can give you antidepressants or such. Since most antidepressants have side-effect of lowering sex drive or even eliminating it. Also seeing a shrink wouldn't hurt either. You might have some mental drive in your subconsciousness - seriously shrink does help.
Doctors are trained to help in physical, mental and cognitive problems.

 

[MrHide-Patten]

Wanking and thinking of family... not at the same time. Unless that's your thing, in which case you've got bigger problems.

 

[Ivan Stefani]

Mental control, when you get the drive and you don't want it. Just calm down, control yourself then distract yourself. After a while your cognitive mind will learn to connect A to B.
It works with many things, I use it to control anxiety-, pain and panic attacks. It takes a while to learn and master but it works. Mind can control the body fully if you let it. (this isn't any spiritual bullshit I am not in to that mind, body soul bollocks. This is science, calming your mind does work as a control mechanism towards mental and physical states.)

But if you really think you have severe problems; like in a way they cause problems and make daily life hard. Talk to a doctor, he can give you antidepressants or such. Since most antidepressants have side-effect of lowering sex drive or even eliminating it. Also seeing a shrink wouldn't hurt either. You might have some mental drive in your subconsciousness - seriously shrink does help.
Doctors are trained to help in physical, mental and cognitive problems.

Yeah, I do agree with you. It's just like some people that need diet, but can't walk near a Mc Donalds, and try without success to overcome the crave for junk food.

Wanking and thinking of family... not at the same time. Unless that's your thing, in which case you've got bigger problems.

That's just wront, man... lol

 

[Ashadowpie]

i happily have absolutely no libido for some reason. its great! no wanting to jump on a guy and ruining my entire life accidentally getting pregnant! whoot! i'd rather shoot myself. god i loath children. . .especially those damn babies.
*strangling hand twitch*

i dunno, its "apparently" healthy to have sex once and a while but why dont you just stop cold turkey? sex is one of those stupid things where once you've done it, you want to do it aallll the freaaking time. im 24 n still happily a non religious virgin and plan to stay that way for logical reasons. if you want to stop, just stop. it may be difficult but its not like your taking an addictive drug, you're just being weak willed with your body. Evolve alittle

 

[Ivan Stefani]

i happily have absolutely no libido for some reason. its great! no wanting to jump on a guy and ruining my entire life accidentally getting pregnant! whoot! i'd rather shoot myself. god i loath children. . .especially those damn babies.
*strangling hand twitch*

i dunno, its "apparently" healthy to have sex once and a while but why dont you just stop cold turkey? sex is one of those stupid things where once you've done it, you want to do it aallll the freaaking time. im 24 n still happily a non religious virgin and plan to stay that way for logical reasons. if you want to stop, just stop. it may be difficult but its not like your taking an addictive drug, you're just being weak willed with your body. Evolve alittle

You're joking, right?
Sex is not stupid. You wouldn't be here without it.
Nobody can dismiss something that never tried or never had curiosity or opportunity to try. I never had curiosity of using heroin, of course, that's why don't try EVERYTHING.

I'll will consider "" as a sign of irony and I'll stop typing to have sex 'cause I want to do every freaking tiiime!

 

[viranimus]

/facepalm

Ok I remember MS/HS Yeah I get it, some times it can be inconvenient, but it happens for a reason.
Have patience. As you grow up it does diminish.

But if you are the impatient type I guess I could say the US military used to swear by Salt Peter (Potassium nitrate) and henbane was supposed to do the same buuut, if we want to use more contemporary voodoo you could go with Anticholinergic like Scopolamine

The sad thing is I recall a LONG time ago watching some weird conspiracy-esque Docutainment show on NBC that "predicted" the future and one theory projected that by roughly 2050 give or take humans would be smarter but there would be dramatically less people to the point that many cities and towns looked abandoned. I guess with all these people who think they are or want to be asexual Perhaps that theory might still come to pass.

 

[IceForce]

im 24 n still happily a non religious virgin and plan to stay that way for logical reasons. if you want to stop, just stop. it may be difficult but its not like your taking an addictive drug, you're just being weak willed with your body. Evolve alittle

errrm, sex drive doesn't work that way.

You can no more force someone with a high sex drive to simply stop and ignore it, than you can force an asexual person to engage in lots and lots of sex.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Wanking and thinking of family... not at the same time. Unless that's your thing, in which case you've got bigger problems.

Well, anyone you are married to is part of the family, no?

 

[lacktheknack]

Don't think about purple elephants.

You'd be surprised how psychological your libido can be. If you're constantly trying to avoid arousing thoughts, you're constantly having arousing thoughts. Just don't focus or make a big deal about it, because it isn't a big deal. Find a hobby or activity that will keep your mind occupied and engaged, and your libido will be lower just from it not being triggered as much.

And masturbate often, or at least regularly, as a way to vent. The key is controlling your libido, isolating from everything else, not completely denying it.

Libido works on a "use it or lose it" principal.

Thus, if you go for a few very frustrating weeks of not satisfying your sexual urges, your libido will go down.

It's doubtful you'll make it.

I don't think there's much truth to this, I've gone over a year without "satisfying my urges" and while you're libido doesn't stay as high as it gets during the first couple weeks, it still remains much higher than normal. Plus you get periodic erections seemingly at random just like when you were in junior high.

I mean, sans masturbation and all.

Hence the "I doubt you'll make it".

 

[someonehairy-ish]

Well, for a start, cutting your dick off probably wouldn't help much, seeing as testosterone production only requires the testicles...

So you could cut those off instead?

But seriously, getting in shape and 'release' in whatever form works for you is your best bet.

 

[martyrdrebel27]

i'm not recommending this strategy, so don't go thinking that, but to answer what has lowered my libido in the past... opiates. oxycontin, heroin, any opiate (besides ACTUAL opium, in my experience, oddly enough). but it will also make you itchy and you WILL throw up. less extreme, and less effective, is alcohol. but its got a weird bell-curve to it where before you get Too Drunk To Fuck, you'll be horny and outgoing which can actually lead to good things if you've got the right personality to make it work for you.

CAPTCHA: one hit wonder. good call captcha, i forgot, even weed can help you here. not by actually attacking your libido, but if you smoke enough, you probably wont be thinking about sex, and the prospect of doing that much... stuff just seems unappealing.

note to mods: i realize this is probably a "controversial" post, and i dont shy away from controversy. but before unsheathing the banhammer, take a minute to actually consider the post. i answered honestly what worked for me and said i dont recommend it (i reeaaalllyyy dont.)

 

[thiosk]

Gotta get a hobby.

Like stamp collecting. Bird watching. Furious masturbation.

Normal stuff.

 

[martyrdrebel27]

i happily have absolutely no libido for some reason. its great! no wanting to jump on a guy and ruining my entire life accidentally getting pregnant! whoot! i'd rather shoot myself. god i loath children. . .especially those damn babies.
*strangling hand twitch*

i dunno, its "apparently" healthy to have sex once and a while but why dont you just stop cold turkey? sex is one of those stupid things where once you've done it, you want to do it aallll the freaaking time. im 24 n still happily a non religious virgin and plan to stay that way for logical reasons. if you want to stop, just stop. it may be difficult but its not like your taking an addictive drug, you're just being weak willed with your body. Evolve alittle

You're joking, right?
Sex is not stupid. You wouldn't be here without it.
Nobody can dismiss something that never tried or never had curiosity or opportunity to try. I never had curiosity of using heroin, of course, that's why don't try EVERYTHING.

I'll will consider "" as a sign of irony and I'll stop typing to have sex 'cause I want to do every freaking tiiime!

don't take this as an attack, but your apparent lack of libido is either a bucketload of denial that you've convinced yourself is true for whatever reasons, or your brain is wired wrong. denying yourself sex is like denying yourself food, air, water... its hardwired into our brains and an essential part of the human experience. to deny yourself sex is to deny your humanity.

now there was a nugget in your comment that made me think it could be something else entirely... is your problem perhaps with our oversexualized culture and peoples recklessness with it? i'm all for sex being between two people who deeply love each other, and hate how casually people throw it around these days. do you think if you found love, you'd wanna have sex? have you ever been aroused? i just feel like there's a part of this that i can't wrap my head around.

Edit: sorry ivan, meant to quote ashadowpie

 

[Sealpower]

I have heard that overconsumption of salmiak, might have that effect. At least some scientist claimed that a few years ago.

I have tried and I think it works (temporary) but that might just be the mental side of it.


(salmiak would be the main ingredient of salty liquorice for you non-scandinavian people)

 

[loc978]

If you're completely serious, talk to a psychologist and try to get put on antidepressants. I've got a friend on a full military retirement for induced psychological disorders... he's on a bunch of antidepressants, and in the last few years his sex drive has been reduced to practically nil (he's also in his late 30s and almost never gets out of the house, so that's not the only factor)... 'course, his memory has also gone to shit.

Personally, I consider it a part of being a healthy human male. If that function goes downhill, others are going to go with it. Thus, I'm on this bandwagon [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/18.408470.17068018] for actual advice.

 

[VladG]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_castration


Here's a place for you to start. A bunch of stuff can chemically lower libido by basically messing with your hormones. Depo-Provera in particular is very effective, it can pretty much kill sex drive in men (they used to use it on sex offenders). Though obviously you shouldn't take anything without consulting a doctor.



I'd recommend masturbation. As often as you feel like (and time/place permits). It's healthy, fun, relaxing and a great way to waste time. It won't exactly lower your libido much, but it will get your mind off sex for a while. Personally, I'd say enjoy your sex drive while it lasts, and make the most of it, you're more likely to regret not having it later.




As for the bonus question... I don't think I'd want to change anything. I have a pretty active libido as far as I can tell, I usually masturbate at least once a day regardless of sexual activity, and I'm always ready to go but it doesn't really consume my mind. As I've said, I like to enjoy my sex drive while it lasts.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

If I could turn my libido on and off at will (as well as the ability to change between sexualities, as a bonus), that?d be great. I mean, I?m a seventeen-year-old boy and the best I can do whenever I get really horny is pull off to some porn to get some relief, before I bone up the next day looking at girls at school all over again (and, obviously, I can?t pull off then). And I have little to no chance of getting a girlfriend currently with my combination of poor looks, revolting personality, and multitude of personal problems (you know the saying: ?You have to learn to love yourself before others can love you?).

I did hear that it?s simply trying to fill that void with something else, like a hobby, since if you get bored a lot, your mind tends to drift into thinking more about sex. That?s why I?ve just been trying to save up money to buy more Death Note manga volumes (although I know the whole story anyway from the anime, I know some things are different or changed in the manga) as an effective distraction; plus, I?ll need something to keep me from going crazy over the half term, since I won?t have to procrastinate over revising because my exams for the year will be over by then. But when I finish that?then I?ll be bored again and not even video games can keep my interest now that I?m so depressed.

You know, I thought about how to get a stronger orgasm, so the feeling afterwards would perhaps last for a longer time, but whatever masturbation method I try (with limits, of course; someone suggested something to do with urine, and I was like, ?Ugh, no?), it?s pretty much the same result (or, with the method I recently tried, a marginally greater pleasure) anyway. And besides, sometimes I?m horny and I just can?t be bothered to pull off because I?m often tired when I return home from school, I have to make sure that no-one comes in, I have to get the right lubricant, etc?

This is probably going to sound like an odd suggestion but a lot of people apparently stopped masturbating or at least had a lower desire to after reading Katawa Shoujo.
Although this is according to some picture I saw on 4chan so I can't vouch for how accurate it is.
So if you havent done that go try it.
Didn't happen to me but everyone is different I suppose.

If anything, that would make someone bone up even more, since despite them being disabled...anime schoolgirls...yeahhhhh.

don't take this as an attack, but your apparent lack of libido is either a bucketload of denial that you've convinced yourself is true for whatever reasons, or your brain is wired wrong. denying yourself sex is like denying yourself food, air, water... its hardwired into our brains and an essential part of the human experience. to deny yourself sex is to deny your humanity.

now there was a nugget in your comment that made me think it could be something else entirely... is your problem perhaps with our oversexualized culture and peoples recklessness with it? i'm all for sex being between two people who deeply love each other, and hate how casually people throw it around these days. do you think if you found love, you'd wanna have sex? have you ever been aroused? i just feel like there's a part of this that i can't wrap my head around.

Edit: sorry ivan, meant to quote ashadowpie

I don't mean to speak on behalf of them, but isn't that pretty offensive to asexuals? Some people just...aren't interested in sex. It's not that they can't have sexual pleasure; it's just that they're not sexually attracted to men, women, or anything inside or outside. Some can still feel romantic or emotional attraction, just like you can feel something for your siblings or a friend without sexual arousal, and some enjoy sex only when it's to satisfy their partner.

So I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with it. That kind of mindset can also lead people to think, "Oh, maybe you're just gay in denial" or "you should get yourself checked out; everyone should want sex". It's just different, is all. Remember, as recent as fifty years ago, homosexuality was still classed as a disorder, and now, in most civilised areas around the world, it's classed as just as much of a healthy sexuality as heterosexuality, the societal norm which seems to have been even more hammered into our system through media where the guy "gets the girl" at the end of the film.