you do realize that you just labelled someone who has sex after 3 dates a slut 2 lines before saying that labeling was a bad thing...Vankraken said:I didn't do any of those things because I am a gamer. The whole drug/drinking thing to me is pointless because im doing fine without expensive, harmful, and illegal acts so why bother starting? The sex thing wasn't so much by choice but I didn't find a girl I could relate to until college. Then again I'm not the type of person to play the whole dating game to buy / bullshit my way into someones pants. Its been a good 8 years since I was in high school and I wouldn't have done much differently.
Protip: High School kids think they are living the most important time of there life until they hit college/work force and realize that all there petty problems are bullshit and hollow. (not being cynical, just honest)
Edit: Who cares if somebody is a virgin as long as they aren't a slut. Someone who isn't a virgin because they were in a 1+ year relationship is different than somebody who has sex after 3 dates or after getting some jewelry. The quality of a person's character is far more important than if they are a virgin or not. (avoid labeling people it only causes problems. Yes i labeled myself as a gamer in the beginning of this but i can label myself whatever the fuck i want cause its me)
Is it that hard to find a virgin?
- Thread starter Death God
- Start date
Recommended Videos
So if you totally fell for someone and then found out they weren't a virgin you would break it off.
Seems kind of judgemental to me.
Seems kind of judgemental to me.
*raises hand* Not for lack of a lot of people in school trying to get me to have sex which is why I don't speak to them anymore. Every conversation starts out asking if I have had sex yet and it was so bad during school I actual had girls offering me pity sex cause I need to "experience" it. But I never gave into what they wanted and seeing how one girl got pregnant and one guy have two girls a STD I think I made the right choice to keep my virginity. I'll have sex when I'm ready not because some people have an issue with it.Death God said:
My thoughts exactly. Seems...almost archaic at this point in time. *shrugs* To each their own I guess.xXxJessicaxXx said:
Honestly I don't care about any of that unless they let it negatively affect their life. I don't want to date an alcoholic, a junkie, or someone who is promiscuous. If they drink I don't mind. If they like to smoke I don't mind. If they've had sex with other people before I don't mind.
If they drink to the excess all the time I mind. If they like to toke up every single day, multiple times a day, or if they let it interfere with their normal life I mind. If they have sex with other people once we've been going out for a while I mind, I always make it clear once the relationship is more serious that I want to be exclusive and I expect exclusiveness.
Op, if it really matters, I would look for a good catholic, or similarly religiously inclined, girl.
This sounds right out of /adv/.
Edited to answer your question:
I drank, smoked a little pot, and lost my virginity at 15. BUT (and this is a big butt, har har) this was far from the norm. Many people at my school were virgins, didn't drink or smoke, but if they were in a group of peers would never admit it.
If they drink to the excess all the time I mind. If they like to toke up every single day, multiple times a day, or if they let it interfere with their normal life I mind. If they have sex with other people once we've been going out for a while I mind, I always make it clear once the relationship is more serious that I want to be exclusive and I expect exclusiveness.
Op, if it really matters, I would look for a good catholic, or similarly religiously inclined, girl.
This sounds right out of /adv/.
Edited to answer your question:
Yes.Death God said:
I drank, smoked a little pot, and lost my virginity at 15. BUT (and this is a big butt, har har) this was far from the norm. Many people at my school were virgins, didn't drink or smoke, but if they were in a group of peers would never admit it.
It's a legitimate medical procedure that allows a woman to exert greater control over her own body. I don't think a woman should be forced to have a baby just because she consented to sex, especially since childbirth is fairly dangerous. But maybe I'm the crazy one.Death God said:
World's a sick place. So many people don't seem to value morals. Too many people only care about sex. They don't know what true love is.
I'm not saying that a person shouldn't want to be with someone who has had sex, but this thread in general makes me think about how morally corrupt some people are.
Personally, I want a girl who is a virgin; I believe that sex should wait until after marriage. But if you truly love someone, I think that it's all right if they're not a virgin. Concentrate on the future; not the past.
I'm not saying that a person shouldn't want to be with someone who has had sex, but this thread in general makes me think about how morally corrupt some people are.
Personally, I want a girl who is a virgin; I believe that sex should wait until after marriage. But if you truly love someone, I think that it's all right if they're not a virgin. Concentrate on the future; not the past.
Probably not. Anal seems to be in a very small market (comparitively) of peoples' attempted sexual encounters.
...
you never said what hole there.
Also I never smoke and rarely drank during highschool (special occasions like holiday wine).
...
you never said what hole there.
Also I never smoke and rarely drank during highschool (special occasions like holiday wine).
I think it's because you want all of those things that you'll have a hard time finding that person. You're being very specific so there's only going to be a handful of people you know who make the list. If you stick to it I'm sure you'll find them, just don't expect it to be easy.
As for me. I'm from Ontario, Canada. During high school I completed all of the above on your little checklist of wrong-doings. All in the same year too. Sixteen was just a year of firsts for me.
Before that however, I subscribed to the same criteria as you. My girlfriends were virgins who didn't drink or smoke or do drugs. They're out there.. Most are just embarrassed to admit it these days.
As for me. I'm from Ontario, Canada. During high school I completed all of the above on your little checklist of wrong-doings. All in the same year too. Sixteen was just a year of firsts for me.
Before that however, I subscribed to the same criteria as you. My girlfriends were virgins who didn't drink or smoke or do drugs. They're out there.. Most are just embarrassed to admit it these days.
Teens in high school, and people of teenage mentality on the internet, exaggerate. There's a concept out there that everyone sleeps around, does drugs, and smokes; so everyone claims that they do.
Most of them don't.
I don't think your values are elitist. You believe that sex is a personal thing, or at least you respect it in some way, and you've had the self-discipline to save yourself, you're just looking for someone with the same attitude about sex. Quite frankly, that's healthy, you don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't have the same values about it as you do (true for all points-of-view on sex). I would say, though, that if you do find someone who is a good fit for you, and she isn't a virgin, it is something worth looking past, maybe they've changed their mind about it after experiencing it (it has that effect on a lot of people).
Same with smoking and drugs. I didn't see alcohol in your list, but drugs, which in the U.S. is specifically not tobacco or alcohol, but "illicit" drugs. That's not elitist, tobacco, alcohol, and other addictive substances can become big lifestyle factors, and you've decided that you don't want those in your life, it wouldn't be fair to anyone to compromise on that in a relationship. Now then, again, if we're talking never done those things, yes, good luck with that, everyone has tried different things at different points in their lives. If you mean that maybe they tried it, maybe they didn't, but decided not to make a habit of it, that's not an unreasonable criterion.
Finally, you are in high school, forget about all this crap for now. You aren't going to know who you are for another five to ten years at least, let alone be able to determine who someone else will be in that time, and especially not what you would actually want in such a person. Sex, drugs, relationships, just don't sweat it. Do what you feel comfortable with, and hang out with people you are comfortable with. More importantly, when you do start looking for an actual relationship like that, look for someone who is comfortable with themselves.
There will always be people with similar values to you, maybe not all of them (a few differences are what keep relationships going), the important part is that you actually take time to figure out what yours are, and which you really feel that you want to stick to. Maybe you'll have the same values you have now until the day you die, you'll find someone who fits.
Honestly, though: through high school and college, you got enough to deal with without throwing "romantic" relationships into it.
Me, I've only had sex with my wife, and her with me. Together 8 years, married 4 of those. Sex was something we explored together, and I appreciate the fact that it is special to us as a couple. Some people don't have that and also couldn't care less, more power to them. We don't smoke, we don't drink, and we don't do drugs. Neither of us really had an interest in those things, but we don't condemn anyone who does.
Also, never appeal to the internet for advice or moral guidance. ;-)
Most of them don't.
I don't think your values are elitist. You believe that sex is a personal thing, or at least you respect it in some way, and you've had the self-discipline to save yourself, you're just looking for someone with the same attitude about sex. Quite frankly, that's healthy, you don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't have the same values about it as you do (true for all points-of-view on sex). I would say, though, that if you do find someone who is a good fit for you, and she isn't a virgin, it is something worth looking past, maybe they've changed their mind about it after experiencing it (it has that effect on a lot of people).
Same with smoking and drugs. I didn't see alcohol in your list, but drugs, which in the U.S. is specifically not tobacco or alcohol, but "illicit" drugs. That's not elitist, tobacco, alcohol, and other addictive substances can become big lifestyle factors, and you've decided that you don't want those in your life, it wouldn't be fair to anyone to compromise on that in a relationship. Now then, again, if we're talking never done those things, yes, good luck with that, everyone has tried different things at different points in their lives. If you mean that maybe they tried it, maybe they didn't, but decided not to make a habit of it, that's not an unreasonable criterion.
Finally, you are in high school, forget about all this crap for now. You aren't going to know who you are for another five to ten years at least, let alone be able to determine who someone else will be in that time, and especially not what you would actually want in such a person. Sex, drugs, relationships, just don't sweat it. Do what you feel comfortable with, and hang out with people you are comfortable with. More importantly, when you do start looking for an actual relationship like that, look for someone who is comfortable with themselves.
There will always be people with similar values to you, maybe not all of them (a few differences are what keep relationships going), the important part is that you actually take time to figure out what yours are, and which you really feel that you want to stick to. Maybe you'll have the same values you have now until the day you die, you'll find someone who fits.
Honestly, though: through high school and college, you got enough to deal with without throwing "romantic" relationships into it.
Me, I've only had sex with my wife, and her with me. Together 8 years, married 4 of those. Sex was something we explored together, and I appreciate the fact that it is special to us as a couple. Some people don't have that and also couldn't care less, more power to them. We don't smoke, we don't drink, and we don't do drugs. Neither of us really had an interest in those things, but we don't condemn anyone who does.
Also, never appeal to the internet for advice or moral guidance. ;-)
It's not at all hard, just hang out at things like comic fairs, twilight screenings and physics departments at universities.
Seeing as I can hardly stand to walk behind someone who is smoking, can not stand the taste of beer (Whisky tastes pretty damn good though), and have not used my genitalia for the 20 years I have been alive. Yes people like that exist and I'm pretty sure that there are many more people like me.
I personally don't care if a girl had 0 or 10 partners as long as she is disease free, will stay faithful throughout the relationship, and the past relationships aren't too messy. Smoking is bothersome. Drinking is fine as long as she is not completely drunk all the time.
I personally don't care if a girl had 0 or 10 partners as long as she is disease free, will stay faithful throughout the relationship, and the past relationships aren't too messy. Smoking is bothersome. Drinking is fine as long as she is not completely drunk all the time.