Arkaniack said:
Very good example. Yet most of non-virgins lost their virginity in sex "for fun". And they did not do that once or twice. What that means? Such wife will most likely have sex with other men when you are not around, just for fun.
Consider the person AND the history. Because history says a lot about person.
I'd have to wonder where you get this information about how "most" non-virgins lose their virginity. It's just that it assumes
a lot about the character of a person you've never met. You're hanging a lot on what may have simply been
one bad decision.
Someone could similarly say, "Any guy that has ever intentionally looked at pictures of scantily-clad women is going to cheat on his wife with the first underwear model to get within arms' reach." It's ridiculous to assume that, and it's not a logical conclusion.
1. You assume she
must have had sex lightly, flippantly, "just for fun." Perhaps she had very real feelings, or feelings that she truly believed were real. Perhaps she was raped, heaven forbid. Perhaps she
used to be someone who "had sex for fun," but has since decided that's an awful way to live and is living differently now.
2. You assume that, if #1 is true, it also means she
must be promiscuous. There's just no chance that she could ever be monogamous? Why not allow for the possibility that she could really, really enjoy sex
with her husband and not with others?
3. You assume that, if #1 and #2 are true, it also means she'll be unfaithful to her husband, and that this will
always be true. That's a lot to assume all on its own, even if it wasn't based on two other giant assumptions.
Basically, you're asking for a person who has lived a flawless life (or at least has only ever made the mistakes that
you approve of). You're assuming anyone who chose to make
different mistakes from you must fundamentally be a bad person. And this is, of course, your right -- you can demand what you want from your eventual partner/spouse.
I just think you're cheating yourself out of a whole lot of happiness. And I think it also demonstrates some expectations that may be unfair to your future spouse, even if she does meet your requirements.