Is it that hard to find a virgin?

Count Igor

New member
May 5, 2010
1,782
0
0
chadachada123 said:
I've always wanted to have sex with a virgin, but I lost it to a non-virgin and have only had sex with non-virgins since (5 girls).
I'll just say that, from my experience, it isn't great for the girl.
It (in my experience) was painful for her, and felt strange, as well as the lubricant on the protection being slightly painful due to the cut/tear.
It's fine for the boy (me), but not so much the girl.

Though it was a wonderful step forwards in the relationship, and was fantastic mentally for both of us.
 

Dastardly

Imaginary Friend
Apr 19, 2010
2,420
0
0
Arkaniack said:
Very good example. Yet most of non-virgins lost their virginity in sex "for fun". And they did not do that once or twice. What that means? Such wife will most likely have sex with other men when you are not around, just for fun.

Consider the person AND the history. Because history says a lot about person.
I'd have to wonder where you get this information about how "most" non-virgins lose their virginity. It's just that it assumes a lot about the character of a person you've never met. You're hanging a lot on what may have simply been one bad decision.

Someone could similarly say, "Any guy that has ever intentionally looked at pictures of scantily-clad women is going to cheat on his wife with the first underwear model to get within arms' reach." It's ridiculous to assume that, and it's not a logical conclusion.

1. You assume she must have had sex lightly, flippantly, "just for fun." Perhaps she had very real feelings, or feelings that she truly believed were real. Perhaps she was raped, heaven forbid. Perhaps she used to be someone who "had sex for fun," but has since decided that's an awful way to live and is living differently now.

2. You assume that, if #1 is true, it also means she must be promiscuous. There's just no chance that she could ever be monogamous? Why not allow for the possibility that she could really, really enjoy sex with her husband and not with others?

3. You assume that, if #1 and #2 are true, it also means she'll be unfaithful to her husband, and that this will always be true. That's a lot to assume all on its own, even if it wasn't based on two other giant assumptions.

Basically, you're asking for a person who has lived a flawless life (or at least has only ever made the mistakes that you approve of). You're assuming anyone who chose to make different mistakes from you must fundamentally be a bad person. And this is, of course, your right -- you can demand what you want from your eventual partner/spouse.

I just think you're cheating yourself out of a whole lot of happiness. And I think it also demonstrates some expectations that may be unfair to your future spouse, even if she does meet your requirements.
 

khantron

New member
Jul 10, 2010
37
0
0
SilentCom said:
khantron said:
Charvale said:
Death God said:
So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it.
The funny thing is that I said the same thing to my class while in High School, and they had the same reaction. My only response was that I treated virginity as a precious treasure given out only to the one woman that I truly care for and cherish. I told people that I plan only to give it to my wife, and when I do so she would realize just how precious she was to me because I waited, the same as I would expect from her. When a guy told me that he'd rather "sample the goods" while simply dating, I told him (and the class) that if they treated sex as something to give out to everyone without any consideration for what it means, then they make it a cheap piece of trash, which reflects upon them.

Your standards are nothing to give up on, and I urge you to keep in mind that when I met my current wife, she was a virgin, and I couldn't be more in love with her than I am now. She was worth waiting for, and I urge you not to let others dictate your standards. Just because they haven't the high standards you have, doesn't mean that they're right.
What about virginity is a precious treasure? How does lacking a rather pleasurable experience equal treasure? If someone said "I've never played tennis before I've been saving myself for you." I'd think that was silly.
Sex isn't just a pleasurable experienc. Sex is done in an intimate relationship, I mean what is more physically intimate than cramming your you know what into a girl's you know what. Intimacy speaks of loyalty and trust. If you're giving it away to everyone, then how could they truly trust you. It's like telling them you love them, only to go chasing after another girl later. Then telling that girl you love them despite having saying the same thing to others in the past.

Often it ends up in broken hearts and resent toward Exs.
That's not a problem with sex, that's a problem with being a lying jackass.
 

TheRightToArmBears

New member
Dec 13, 2008
8,674
0
0
I think you're being ridiculous, personally. Sure there are slags, but most people in secondary school will have had a relationship and had sex. That doesn't make them immoral (unless you're a no sex before marriage person, in which case, I don't really understand dating in school), they weren't being promiscuous.

Still, I guess there are some around. It's probably likely that they just aren't interested in sex or relationships anyway so I wouldn't really get your hopes up.
 

maturin

New member
Jul 20, 2010
702
0
0
Definitely not hard to find a virgin, but you'd be hard-pressed to find people who had never even tried drinking or a cig.
 

Gloomsta

New member
Oct 27, 2011
106
0
0
Death God said:
So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system.
More like self righteous and pointless moral system that acctually does harm to yourself as you are also being immorral by judging others for having sex and drugs, so you are already creating a conflict.

And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?
Yes there are people like that, im one of them lol. Im not gonna touch drugs but i dont judge anyone on them. If people wanna have fun and get drunk and do drugs, why the hell not, its their choice.

But there is no logic of looking for non virgins... it doesnt make sence, you just sound insecure about your own lack of experience, which isnt a big problem unless you make it out to be problem.

There are plenty of great girls who had sex and broke up with their bf, and your no gonna go for it even if given the chance?

You sound very unfun and uptight when you judge people based on their alcohol consumption.

With drugs its all very individual based, i would avoid crackheads, but ive no problem with people consuming the not so dangerous drugs lol.
 

BlackStar42

New member
Jan 23, 2010
1,226
0
0
I don't see what the big deal with virginity is. Frankly, I'd prefer it if at least one of us knew what they were doing.
 

Freaky Lou

New member
Nov 1, 2011
606
0
0
Jarimir said:
Freaky Lou said:
Shark Wrangler said:
Thats alot of rules you just decided on when it comes to picking a partner. The way the world works, you will meet a virgin and have a happy life together, Then when you turn 40 and your rocking your third kid on your knee, your going to look back on all the fun you missed out on. This is a gift from above, have safe sex and enjoy yourself.
That's a load of crap. I've never heard of anyone ever who regretted not being more promiscuous when they were younger, not counting mid-life crises...but that's more a case of fearing that you've made all the wrong decisions in life.

REALLY, though, people look back on their wild younger years mostly in regret.
Well, let me step in, I am 36 and I have litterally lost count of the number of sex partners I have had. I REGRET not having more sex when I was teenager, when I was at my sexual peak. I could and intend to continue to have sex until I litterally cant get it up anymore, but I will NEVER be able to have more sex as a teenager.
Are you married? That makes all the difference in the world here, because if your objective is to just screw as many women as you can before your porkhammer fails you, then obviously you're going to regret getting a smaller head start.

But for someone who wants a meaningful relationship (and if he won't date anyone who's not a virgin, I'm guessing OP does) then you gain nothing from sleeping around all over the place in your younger years. It does give you problems in your marriage, particularly if your spouse didn't do the same.
 

SilentCom

New member
Mar 14, 2011
2,417
0
0
I would suggest looking elsewhere for what you are seeking. Your standards and beliefs are your own and asking people on this forum is kind of like trying to gather support for gun control laws at a gun show.
 

Charvale

New member
May 17, 2008
51
0
0
To everyone that has commented to my previous post:
I hope that nobody was offended or upset by what I said earlier, I was only talking about my own experience from when I was 17 years old (18 years ago) in a way of relating to Death God's post, and how outwardly harsh I was toward the people who laughed at me (mind you that came from over 10 years of constant teasing/bullying that I'd experienced at the very hands of the people sitting in the room at the time too). My standards never really slipped, and I'll admit that I had girlfriends in my time that I wanted to have sex with, but refrained because of how much I wanted to respect the very women I was with.

Mind you, because of that I've had more girlfriends leave me thinking that I didn't want them. Even so, my main thought was to not have someone consider me a "baby's father" rather than a "husband". I have heard the former term so many times that it's made me sick, and all too often it's from people I wouldn't give the time of day to. My thought is, if you're willing to have sex, then you should take on the responsibility of helping to raise that child, and consider the person who bore it into this world as someone to spend the rest of your life with. If not, then you shouldn't be doing anything to create a child.

End of statement.

I have a lot of reasons for what I've said, and all of it stems from personal experience, or having to deal with people who consider their children as a bargaining chip, and not as a person that relies upon them. To me, sex equals children simply because it's too easy to make one, and condoms/birth control pills/etc aren't 100% fool proof, only abstinence is, yet nobody ever feels the need to abstain from sex just because it's not popular... and that is a real crime. Not only to the woman who gives birth, but also to the child brought into the world. Feel free to talk harshly about my past, my future, or me in general, but at least I have every confidence about being a voice of reason here, regardless of my career path, my personal preferences for art styles, or my desire to actually help people.
 

khantron

New member
Jul 10, 2010
37
0
0
SilentCom said:
I would suggest looking elsewhere for what you are seeking. Your standards and beliefs are your own and asking people on this forum is kind of like trying to gather support for gun control laws at a gun show.
Yeah, the mens rights reddit is probably a better fit.
 

HyenaThePirate

New member
Jan 8, 2009
1,412
0
0
I'm still a virgin. I want to save my virginity as a special gift to give away to someone who I felt richly deserves it.

And as soon as I save up enough money, that hot chinese chick on craigslist is going to get it! Wooohoo!
 

JPArbiter

New member
Oct 14, 2010
337
0
0
to the OP, even though it looks by and large that the thread has run its course, is that you are mistaking purity for morality, and applying it to modern conventions when nobody fpollowed those conventions years ago.

the key thing is this, people are not having sex, imbibing intoxicants, or experimenting with drugs at younger and younger ages. we are doing it at the same age we have been doing it for centuries. what has changed, and I am surprised your sociology teach has not brought this up yet, is that human beings generally live longer.

Because we are living longer with each generation, we are socially delaying the "family building" activities of marriage and child rearing that goes along with it. In Ye Olde Days of the Victorian period, it was common for a young girl to get married at the age of 14 and have their first child at 16. Oddly enough Men were expected to get married in thier early 20s and often engaged in sexual relations with the Courtesans and various other older women (look up Cuckoldry for that)

as far as drinking or experimenting with drugs, that is a mess left over from prohibition in this country, whereby morality and the tendency to drink was tied, despite biblical teachings ENCOURAGING alcohol consumption (since booze was safe compared to water, and no one figured out the boil it before you drink it part). add to it that many teens are Operating motor vehicles, and THAT is where the real issue with teenage drinking is.

what the Original Poster seeks is not purity, though I am sure he could find that if he looked hard enough. what he is seeking is assurance that someone will be a viable long term and faithful partner. this is completely understandable. I could show statistics where it is proven swingers have longer lasting and more stable marriages but that is irrelevant.

the only way you are going to find a trust worthy and reliable partner is to put yourself out there on the market. saying "I won't date someone who smokes or CURRENTLY does drugs" is one thing, but holding their sexual past against them, or busting them for formally drinking is making an unethical moral judgment on them, and denying yourself the opportunity to find a wonderful life partner.
 

AnarchistFish

New member
Jul 25, 2011
1,500
0
0
I actually fit this, although I am only 16 and tbh if I could have smoked pot at some point I would have.
Never been drunk but I've drunk more than others who have gotten drunk with the same quantities, whereas I stayed sober.

As for smoking tobacco, I hate cigarettes and I hate that my friends smoke cigarettes.
 

Togs

New member
Dec 8, 2010
1,468
0
0
Charvale said:
To me, sex equals children simply because it's too easy to make one, and condoms/birth control pills/etc aren't 100% fool proof, only abstinence is, yet nobody ever feels the need to abstain from sex just because it's not popular... and that is a real crime. Not only to the woman who gives birth, but also to the child brought into the world. but at least I have every confidence about being a voice of reason here.
Your probably sick of this already but did you just peddle that "abstinence 1st" bullshit and claim to be the voice of reason?

Google "incredulous"- you'll find a picture of my face, I mean honestly.