I don't see what the big deal with virginity is. Frankly, I'd prefer it if at least one of us knew what they were doing.
Is it that hard to find a virgin?
- Thread starter Death God
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Are you married? That makes all the difference in the world here, because if your objective is to just screw as many women as you can before your porkhammer fails you, then obviously you're going to regret getting a smaller head start.Jarimir said:
But for someone who wants a meaningful relationship (and if he won't date anyone who's not a virgin, I'm guessing OP does) then you gain nothing from sleeping around all over the place in your younger years. It does give you problems in your marriage, particularly if your spouse didn't do the same.
To everyone that has commented to my previous post:
I hope that nobody was offended or upset by what I said earlier, I was only talking about my own experience from when I was 17 years old (18 years ago) in a way of relating to Death God's post, and how outwardly harsh I was toward the people who laughed at me (mind you that came from over 10 years of constant teasing/bullying that I'd experienced at the very hands of the people sitting in the room at the time too). My standards never really slipped, and I'll admit that I had girlfriends in my time that I wanted to have sex with, but refrained because of how much I wanted to respect the very women I was with.
Mind you, because of that I've had more girlfriends leave me thinking that I didn't want them. Even so, my main thought was to not have someone consider me a "baby's father" rather than a "husband". I have heard the former term so many times that it's made me sick, and all too often it's from people I wouldn't give the time of day to. My thought is, if you're willing to have sex, then you should take on the responsibility of helping to raise that child, and consider the person who bore it into this world as someone to spend the rest of your life with. If not, then you shouldn't be doing anything to create a child.
End of statement.
I have a lot of reasons for what I've said, and all of it stems from personal experience, or having to deal with people who consider their children as a bargaining chip, and not as a person that relies upon them. To me, sex equals children simply because it's too easy to make one, and condoms/birth control pills/etc aren't 100% fool proof, only abstinence is, yet nobody ever feels the need to abstain from sex just because it's not popular... and that is a real crime. Not only to the woman who gives birth, but also to the child brought into the world. Feel free to talk harshly about my past, my future, or me in general, but at least I have every confidence about being a voice of reason here, regardless of my career path, my personal preferences for art styles, or my desire to actually help people.
I hope that nobody was offended or upset by what I said earlier, I was only talking about my own experience from when I was 17 years old (18 years ago) in a way of relating to Death God's post, and how outwardly harsh I was toward the people who laughed at me (mind you that came from over 10 years of constant teasing/bullying that I'd experienced at the very hands of the people sitting in the room at the time too). My standards never really slipped, and I'll admit that I had girlfriends in my time that I wanted to have sex with, but refrained because of how much I wanted to respect the very women I was with.
Mind you, because of that I've had more girlfriends leave me thinking that I didn't want them. Even so, my main thought was to not have someone consider me a "baby's father" rather than a "husband". I have heard the former term so many times that it's made me sick, and all too often it's from people I wouldn't give the time of day to. My thought is, if you're willing to have sex, then you should take on the responsibility of helping to raise that child, and consider the person who bore it into this world as someone to spend the rest of your life with. If not, then you shouldn't be doing anything to create a child.
End of statement.
I have a lot of reasons for what I've said, and all of it stems from personal experience, or having to deal with people who consider their children as a bargaining chip, and not as a person that relies upon them. To me, sex equals children simply because it's too easy to make one, and condoms/birth control pills/etc aren't 100% fool proof, only abstinence is, yet nobody ever feels the need to abstain from sex just because it's not popular... and that is a real crime. Not only to the woman who gives birth, but also to the child brought into the world. Feel free to talk harshly about my past, my future, or me in general, but at least I have every confidence about being a voice of reason here, regardless of my career path, my personal preferences for art styles, or my desire to actually help people.
I'm still a virgin. I want to save my virginity as a special gift to give away to someone who I felt richly deserves it.
And as soon as I save up enough money, that hot chinese chick on craigslist is going to get it! Wooohoo!
And as soon as I save up enough money, that hot chinese chick on craigslist is going to get it! Wooohoo!
to the OP, even though it looks by and large that the thread has run its course, is that you are mistaking purity for morality, and applying it to modern conventions when nobody fpollowed those conventions years ago.
the key thing is this, people are not having sex, imbibing intoxicants, or experimenting with drugs at younger and younger ages. we are doing it at the same age we have been doing it for centuries. what has changed, and I am surprised your sociology teach has not brought this up yet, is that human beings generally live longer.
Because we are living longer with each generation, we are socially delaying the "family building" activities of marriage and child rearing that goes along with it. In Ye Olde Days of the Victorian period, it was common for a young girl to get married at the age of 14 and have their first child at 16. Oddly enough Men were expected to get married in thier early 20s and often engaged in sexual relations with the Courtesans and various other older women (look up Cuckoldry for that)
as far as drinking or experimenting with drugs, that is a mess left over from prohibition in this country, whereby morality and the tendency to drink was tied, despite biblical teachings ENCOURAGING alcohol consumption (since booze was safe compared to water, and no one figured out the boil it before you drink it part). add to it that many teens are Operating motor vehicles, and THAT is where the real issue with teenage drinking is.
what the Original Poster seeks is not purity, though I am sure he could find that if he looked hard enough. what he is seeking is assurance that someone will be a viable long term and faithful partner. this is completely understandable. I could show statistics where it is proven swingers have longer lasting and more stable marriages but that is irrelevant.
the only way you are going to find a trust worthy and reliable partner is to put yourself out there on the market. saying "I won't date someone who smokes or CURRENTLY does drugs" is one thing, but holding their sexual past against them, or busting them for formally drinking is making an unethical moral judgment on them, and denying yourself the opportunity to find a wonderful life partner.
the key thing is this, people are not having sex, imbibing intoxicants, or experimenting with drugs at younger and younger ages. we are doing it at the same age we have been doing it for centuries. what has changed, and I am surprised your sociology teach has not brought this up yet, is that human beings generally live longer.
Because we are living longer with each generation, we are socially delaying the "family building" activities of marriage and child rearing that goes along with it. In Ye Olde Days of the Victorian period, it was common for a young girl to get married at the age of 14 and have their first child at 16. Oddly enough Men were expected to get married in thier early 20s and often engaged in sexual relations with the Courtesans and various other older women (look up Cuckoldry for that)
as far as drinking or experimenting with drugs, that is a mess left over from prohibition in this country, whereby morality and the tendency to drink was tied, despite biblical teachings ENCOURAGING alcohol consumption (since booze was safe compared to water, and no one figured out the boil it before you drink it part). add to it that many teens are Operating motor vehicles, and THAT is where the real issue with teenage drinking is.
what the Original Poster seeks is not purity, though I am sure he could find that if he looked hard enough. what he is seeking is assurance that someone will be a viable long term and faithful partner. this is completely understandable. I could show statistics where it is proven swingers have longer lasting and more stable marriages but that is irrelevant.
the only way you are going to find a trust worthy and reliable partner is to put yourself out there on the market. saying "I won't date someone who smokes or CURRENTLY does drugs" is one thing, but holding their sexual past against them, or busting them for formally drinking is making an unethical moral judgment on them, and denying yourself the opportunity to find a wonderful life partner.
I actually fit this, although I am only 16 and tbh if I could have smoked pot at some point I would have.
Never been drunk but I've drunk more than others who have gotten drunk with the same quantities, whereas I stayed sober.
As for smoking tobacco, I hate cigarettes and I hate that my friends smoke cigarettes.
Never been drunk but I've drunk more than others who have gotten drunk with the same quantities, whereas I stayed sober.
As for smoking tobacco, I hate cigarettes and I hate that my friends smoke cigarettes.
I never drank, did drugs, or had sex in high school. None of my friends (with the exception of those who turned 18 and were legal) did so either. It's really not that hard to find people like that. I don't see the appeal in doing drugs since it just kills your brain and has a whole lot of other nasty consequences and drinking to be really, really drunk always just confuses me ? again, I don't see the appeal in it. I've had a couple drinks now, but that's just one drink with dinner if I'm out with a friend or an occasional glass of wine with dinner (and it's perfectly legal where I live).
I won't date a smoker either, but that's because I would rather not kiss an ash tray. I have nothing against people who smoke, but I wouldn't date one.
Ahem, as for sex... nope, haven't had it and not particularly interested in it.
I won't date a smoker either, but that's because I would rather not kiss an ash tray. I have nothing against people who smoke, but I wouldn't date one.
Ahem, as for sex... nope, haven't had it and not particularly interested in it.
I never drank, did drugs, or had sex in high school. None of my friends (with the exception of those who turned 18 and were legal) did so either. It's really not that hard to find people like that. I don't see the appeal in doing drugs since it just kills your brain and has a whole lot of other nasty consequences and drinking to be really, really drunk always just confuses me ? again, I don't see the appeal in it. I've had a couple drinks now, but that's just one drink with dinner if I'm out with a friend or an occasional glass of wine with dinner (and it's perfectly legal where I live).
I won't date a smoker either, but that's because I would rather not kiss an ash tray. I have nothing against people who smoke, but I wouldn't date one.
Ahem, as for sex... nope, haven't had it and not particularly interested in it.
I won't date a smoker either, but that's because I would rather not kiss an ash tray. I have nothing against people who smoke, but I wouldn't date one.
Ahem, as for sex... nope, haven't had it and not particularly interested in it.
Abstinence, if followed strictly, is 100% full proof. note I said if followed strictly.Togs said:
yes condoms and Birth Control are not 100% full proof, but you know what, the chance of failure is also statistically insignificant. to the point of if a condom breaks or birth control fails it can be prescribed to operator Error more then the implement itself. (things like not using a lubricant with a condom, or forgetting to take your pill one day.)
I read it in either the National Institute of Health or the New England Medical Journal... I honestly can not recall right now and do not have either stack of books handy at this time.aidutcher said:
word of advice, avoid resources provided by the national organization for marriage or the family planning institute, as both are christian organizations and have been blasted for an unscientific approach. and if you want to be a marriage counselor make sure you get married yourself, and spend time studying the institution from a sociological and psychological standpoint, rather then an emotional and religious one.
Never smoked, drank, or had sex. Never will smoke or have sex. Might drink but I dunno if i want to =/
I'm 17 and living in the UK. Haven't had sex (or even kissed a girl for that matter :C ), haven't smoked or done drugs and have never had more than a sip or two of alcohol.
Don't ever see myself doing drugs or smoking, alcohol maybe if my social situation and tastebuds change dramatically and as for the whole girls thing... well we can all hope.
Don't ever see myself doing drugs or smoking, alcohol maybe if my social situation and tastebuds change dramatically and as for the whole girls thing... well we can all hope.
You need to find someone with an specific character, shy, quiet, responsible, home and family type of girl (Thugh hard to find if you add atractive to the list).
My GF and I are both virgins (She because she's like that and me because though i would like to have sex if i could, I'm not dying to do it and i want to help her to acomplish her dream of remaining virgin until marriage). We are both 27 years old and we've been togheter for 5 years and 8 months.
My GF and I are both virgins (She because she's like that and me because though i would like to have sex if i could, I'm not dying to do it and i want to help her to acomplish her dream of remaining virgin until marriage). We are both 27 years old and we've been togheter for 5 years and 8 months. We don't smoke or do drugs and she doesn't drink either but I do. We mean to marry next year.
My GF and I are both virgins (She because she's like that and me because though i would like to have sex if i could, I'm not dying to do it and i want to help her to acomplish her dream of remaining virgin until marriage). We are both 27 years old and we've been togheter for 5 years and 8 months.
You need to find someone with an specific character, shy, quiet, responsible, home and family type of girl (Thugh hard to find if you add atractive to the list).Death God said:
My GF and I are both virgins (She because she's like that and me because though i would like to have sex if i could, I'm not dying to do it and i want to help her to acomplish her dream of remaining virgin until marriage). We are both 27 years old and we've been togheter for 5 years and 8 months. We don't smoke or do drugs and she doesn't drink either but I do. We mean to marry next year.