Is it wrong being a romantic? (take two)

[The Eggplant]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a romantic. I'm one myself, I just hide it under a veneer of acidity and pragmatism for the sake of preventing the recurrence of the kind of emotional trauma that has inevitably happened to me when I've really tried to give my inner self to someone. (I'm sure that could be turned into a sex joke, but I'm too tired to figure out how.) I'd still love to find someone who I could commit my entire self to and feel committed to in the same way, but years of up-down relationships have morphed that attitude into something more along the lines of "if it happens, that would be amazing. But since it probably won't, sex isn't a bad way to pass the time."

 

[The Stonker]

In my mind, sex is only a secondary goal. I'd rather find someone who I can truly say that I love, someone who can say they love me back, than find a cheap one-night-stand. It's not that I don't want to have sex ever, it's just not at the top of my list of priorities.

I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for love, it's those who look only for sex that give guys a bad name...

Pretty much exactly what I was going to say.

Though, I'm not looking for a cheap one night stand at all. I'm actually looking for someone that I can say I love and loves me back.

In fact, I even want to save my first time for someone I really do love.

Me too. On both the looking for someone to love and love me back and save myself.

OT: Being a romantic is one of the best things I know about. I've found my love and I feel that she's the one for me. Only problem is she lives in England while I live here in Iceland...

Iceland...It's a shitty place because I live there to my friend.
But I wish you all well with your relationship.

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

I'm suspecting that your friends might just be saying that just to increase their "manly man" status.

It's kind of funny seeing this mentality considered to be "how real men are supposed to be" when real men understand that real masculinity isn't a result of numerous sexual conquests and viewing women as nothing more than something to put their dicks in. They know that a real man is one who respects women to an extent that they are willing to devote themselves to one woman, for whom he will do anything to ensure that they are cared for and if necessary, provided for. A real man is confident enough in his manhood to allow himself to be not only emotionally involved, but vulnerable, and feels no need to have to do anything to prove how much of a man he is.

 

[KaiRai]

snip

What people say and what they genuinely think are often two different things. It's not very cool for guys to admit to other guys that they genuinely want a soul mate, or that they have, you know, feelings. While I have met a few guys who genuinely only see women as dick holsters, they have all been broken in some way. The vast majority of males I know certainly enjoy sex, but genuinely want a companion, too.

Also, please use punctuation in future. Your post is an enormous run-on sentence and it's very difficult to follow your train of thought.

This is true. I'm guilty of it myself... /shame.

It's only until recently that I told my friends I loved my gf. Until then, the code word had been 'appreciate' as in, "I appreciate her."

And she's been with me for 18 months now...Lord only knows why.

 

[thahat]

im in a relationship with a girl i love. even though its not always easy -shes VERRY suspicious of my motives, while im just out to show her i love her ( no worries things are good, and we both are learning -

so id say no, girls are not just dickholes. i used to believe this, thinking that they are more evil on the inside then guys, so they would deserve to be something like that. experience, and age, tought me differently
now i KNOW their more evil on the inside XD and a lot more sharp then most men. but they also have wonderfull qualities, and rare girls have wonderfull personalities

in short, search for a girl you love, not just 'one that will do -did that earlier on in life'
how will you know you love her? if you want to make her hapy, no matter what, if you can go out of your way for her, if life itsself would seem gray without her. then you love a girl.

also, chivelry lives. at least with me, who will join me on this ?

Haha I will join you in the quest of chivelry! But to a certain extend.

ofcourse

 

[Spinozaad]

In the end, though. You are hardwired to 'stick it to the woman'. Romanticism, in all of its forms, are either a social construction or more cynically: just a meaning to an end. I'm not saying there is no value, no joy in being a romantic.

But in the end, it's just about your dick and women being 'dick holsters'.

 

[kurupt87]

I'm a sex-in-marriage-only freak, so I think romantic involvement is incredibly important, and quite often it's integral to the pleasure of the woman in the relationship (many girls look for love overall in sexual relationships). And seeing how girls are, in fact, human, they deserve to enjoy sex in their own way as much as I do... (and before you say I'm jumping to conclusions about girls and their inclinations, I've been involved in a surreal sex-ed class in which all but one of the girls said they would have sex to "feel loved", so...)

Well, here's the thing. Females are very big on shows of affection, of illustrations of caring. Males are typically not very good at that, because society teaches men that shows of emotions are a sign of weakness. The unfortunate tendency, therefore, is for girls to equate sex - something guys are willing to do - with caring. And while it certainly can me, it isn't always.

There you go. From the mouth of a woman, romantic tendencies are important.

I, at this stage of my life, do not find romantic tendencies to be important. In fact they are detrimental. I have found them important before and will no doubt do so again; right now now though? I want not having the responsibilities more than I want a partner.

My point? Ms Susan Arendt has given a broad view on the female perspective of sex likely shaped by her own views. I have given my views on sex from a male perspective. Who's right?

A loaded question sure, the answer is both and neither. I am right for myself and wrong for Susan and her women, while she is right for herself and her women while wrong for me. The more important question is whose view is more important and why. Doesn't really matter because it is more than likely these differences would stop a relationship and/or sex between the two, question's still valid though.

 

[MakeLoveNotWar]

More than half of the guys in my school have already lost their virginity.

Don't be so quick to believe that. Seriously, most of them are probably making it up to be cool.

I'd like the think that too, but I've had it confirmed by the girls.

 

[steampunk42]

is romance dead...kinda....not gonna lie, the world nowadays tells us sex young is okey and it removes the significance of it from our lives later on....thing on that man

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

is romance dead...kinda....not gonna lie, the world nowadays tells us sex young is okey and it removes the significance of it from our lives later on....thing on that man

Sex is nowhere near as big of a deal as people tend to make it out to be. Trust me, mashing your genitals together is not the ultimate expression of love.

 

[Supernatural Girl]

I don't think you need to be romantic in a relationship. It's just and added bonus, to feel better for both the people involved and can be fun.

I also think that love is being really good friends with the person you are with and enjoying spending a large amount of your time with them, without necessarily doing anything significant (loafing about, watching TV).

I haven only had sex with one person before, and they are a friend, so I can't comment on how sex with someone you love is better than with those you don't, but I do know myself, that if I was having sex with someone who couldn't make a joke or laugh during sex once and a while, I would be quite sad.

How's that for my screwy definitions? XD

 

[steampunk42]

is romance dead...kinda....not gonna lie, the world nowadays tells us sex young is okey and it removes the significance of it from our lives later on....thing on that man

Sex is nowhere near as big of a deal as people tend to make it out to be. Trust me, mashing your genitals together is not the ultimate expression of love.

i understand that...but its a symbol of unity between man and woman, the fact that modern culture tells us its ok to tarnish this symbol is disgusting in my opinion.