Is sex ever "just sex"?

Jirlond

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Jul 9, 2009
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I have to agree with what I have read so far,

it really depends on who you are with - if it feels wierd and your not really sure if you like the person it's just sex I guess.

but if you get on with that person, and you have sex too - you are motivated to enjoy it and make it special. It creates a more pleasant and natural environment.

Dolphins are the only other species that have sex for fun besides humans.
 

Ezzay

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Feb 28, 2009
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pimppeter2 said:
When you're 15 it is

at least for me
Not something I would go around advertising, considering what you just said is illegal in most countries, including where you live.

And I believe in some circumstances, yes sex can be "just sex". However personally I prefer an emotional connection before we have some fun.
 

Legion

Were it so easy
Oct 2, 2008
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GamerPhate said:
Oh when you say sex is more than an act, you are talking about when people claim to have feelings and emotions afterward. Sadly, all feelings and emotions are just chemical reactions in the brain to stimuli. When you feel happy, it is serotonin or a dopamine being released and the uptake receptors in the brain freak out and go, OMG .. a moment of happiness is this wretched world.. and you glow for a bit. Take all the BS you go through in one day and put it in one hand, and in the other hand, put all the good stuff you get in one day. Now tell me that the first hand isn't MUCH MUCH heavier than the second. So what happens, the brain chemistry is interesting, it releases either dopamine or serotonin and your body freaks out since its use to just feeling normal. So, some people started to call these sensations "feelings". Sadly, feelings are just thoughts we have programmed our brains to feel strongly about through personal or external experiences throughout our lives.
Being able to explain the chemical processes of emotion doesn't make them any less significant or real.

It's like talking about pain and saying "sadly we think we feel pain but really it is just our nerves fraying/twisting/being destroyed and so the experience is just our bodies programmed to warn us that we are damaged" while it's true it has absolutely no relevance to someone who just broke their leg.

I'm glad someone else agrees:

Flying-Emu said:
You know what's even better than all that?

The fact that you know that and that it doesn't affect your daily life at all. You don't go through life, get a bar of chocolate and say "Hey, I am having dopamine pumped into my brain lulz". You're just happy.

Therefore, the chemistry of the brain has no bearing on everyday life. That is, unless you're an M.D. searching for a way to solve "Issue X" with humanity.
 

Jirlond

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Ezzay said:
pimppeter2 said:
When you're 15 it is

at least for me
Not something I would go around advertising, considering what you just said is illegal in most countries, including where you live.

And I believe in some circumstances, yes sex can be "just sex". However personally I prefer an emotional connection before we have some fun.
Yeah otherwise it can get pretty guilty feeling the next day
 

Pimppeter2

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Ezzay said:
pimppeter2 said:
When you're 15 it is

at least for me
Not something I would go around advertising, considering what you just said is illegal in most countries, including where you live.
Why, they're goona arrest me? I could list the about 40 kids I know who are probably carring illegal drugs. Face it dude, being a teenager is fucked up
 

dwightsteel

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Sex has meaning when you give it meaning.

I've had whole "relationships", that were merely a mutually beneficial intimate release. We'd see each other to get it out of our systems, and go our separate ways. If we met someone that changed our dynamic (if one of us would pair off legitimately), we'd say good luck, it was fun.

Some people call em Booty Calls, others refer to them as fuck buddies.

The point is, that sex has only the meaning you attach to it. Some people think that all sex is special and sacred. I know a guy who keeps a journal about every sexual experience he has. For me, what ever significance the act has, depends on how significant to me my partner is.
 

Arntor

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Feb 5, 2008
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Call it "love-making" and dress it up with potpourri on satin sheets if ya want but the simpler definition of sex is an attempt to make another person achieve orgasm with their consent.

Either way, it's another experience for you to mull over whether it was exciting, terrifying, or disappointing. It's "just life" and you're just shifting some of the dynamics in another direction through intercourse. Sex doesn't need to be emotional, just memorable.
 

RicoADF

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Jun 2, 2009
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ExodusinFlames said:
A random person said:
Yes, some people do have "just sex." They're called one night stands.
This.
Being a person who has engaged in both long term monogamous relationships and one nighters, both answers are correct. It is both a biological repsonse and the desire to enjoys ones-self.
Bingo, it just depends on who it is, what their attitude/view on it is etc, for me I don't like one night stands, I prefer it to mean something.
 

crudus

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Please define parameters of "just sex" and I can answer that for you. Because I am impatient i will define "just sex" as "the action a man putting his piston up her engine and waiting until one or more parties ejaculates". With that definition no, there is no such things as "just sex" since there are too many endorphins and things of that nature that come into play. Someone might not even be having sex for the fun and endorphins directly but the health benefit they provide. If by "just sex" you mean "a pair of (for lack of a better term because lets face it there is not better term) fuck buddies having intercourse for mutual benefits and leave to go to their respective trendy juice bars" then yes that does exist. However, most people practicing this definition often start to feel attractions toward the other person (what with your brain correlating this person with various endorphins); in that respect, no. Summary, yes but you have to be careful because it can easily turn into "more than sex".

EmileeElectro said:
For me, it's my job.
Who are you? Neil Patrick Harris (his recent character(s) not the actor himself)?
 

GamerPhate

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Aug 22, 2008
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Flying-Emu said:
GamerPhate said:
Oh when you say sex is more than an act, you are talking about when people claim to have feelings and emotions afterward. Sadly, all feelings and emotions are just chemical reactions in the brain to stimuli. When you feel happy, it is serotonin or a dopamine being released and the uptake receptors in the brain freak out and go, OMG .. a moment of happiness is this wretched world.. and you glow for a bit. Take all the BS you go through in one day and put it in one hand, and in the other hand, put all the good stuff you get in one day. Now tell me that the first hand isn't MUCH MUCH heavier than the second. So what happens, the brain chemistry is interesting, it releases either dopamine or serotonin and your body freaks out since its use to just feeling normal. So, some people started to call these sensations "feelings". Sadly, feelings are just thoughts we have programmed our brains to feel strongly about through personal or external experiences throughout our lives.
You know what's even better than all that?

The fact that you know that and that it doesn't affect your daily life at all. You don't go through life, get a bar of chocolate and say "Hey, I am having dopamine pumped into my brain lulz". You're just happy.

Therefore, the chemistry of the brain has no bearing on everyday life. That is, unless you're an M.D. searching for a way to solve "Issue X" with humanity.
I never claimed to be a neurologist, although I have chatted with a couple I suppose over the years. But sure, no one constantly analyzes everything they do all the time, there is too much sensory overload. Even though you may realize a concept, does not mean that you have to be lost dwelling upon it.

And chemistry of the brain has no bearing on daily life? Heh... that is ridiculous, it has everything to do with what you perceive as reality and the world around it. Without it the chemicals we would not have the ability to function 100 percent, and sure other glands make chemicals the brain needs. It is the brain that triggers the release. Although you do bring up a good point. I have often wondered if we had total mastery of the brain, we might have the ability to do anything. This less than 10 percent crap limits our capabilities. But if we could totally have mind over our own matter at least, we could release chemicals in the brain at will. There would be no need for external stimuli to achieve them. Need muscle mass, need a boost of happiness? Just trigger that right spot in the brain and bam your body will make it. You possess in you everything that will make you you. Even outside chemicals don't actually effect you, it is your own reactions to the substances that causes the results.
 

BehattedWanderer

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Jun 24, 2009
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It varies at times of course. Though, I dare anyone who's been in a solid monogymous relationship for a time with someone they didn't have the strongest feelings for to say that there wasn't at least one time where there was no biological need for it, there was no emotional need for it, it just happened when both parties were bored, and there was nothing else to do. For those times, there's no feeling, no attachment, and something along the lines of the phrase 'sure, whatever' will be spoken. For those times, it is just sex, because it sure as hell isn't anything else.
 

GamerPhate

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Aug 22, 2008
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Machines Are Us said:
GamerPhate said:
Oh when you say sex is more than an act, you are talking about when people claim to have feelings and emotions afterward. Sadly, all feelings and emotions are just chemical reactions in the brain to stimuli. When you feel happy, it is serotonin or a dopamine being released and the uptake receptors in the brain freak out and go, OMG .. a moment of happiness is this wretched world.. and you glow for a bit. Take all the BS you go through in one day and put it in one hand, and in the other hand, put all the good stuff you get in one day. Now tell me that the first hand isn't MUCH MUCH heavier than the second. So what happens, the brain chemistry is interesting, it releases either dopamine or serotonin and your body freaks out since its use to just feeling normal. So, some people started to call these sensations "feelings". Sadly, feelings are just thoughts we have programmed our brains to feel strongly about through personal or external experiences throughout our lives.
Being able to explain the chemical processes of emotion doesn't make them any less significant or real.

It's like talking about pain and saying "sadly we think we feel pain but really it is just our nerves fraying/twisting/being destroyed and so the experience is just our bodies programmed to warn us that we are damaged" while it's true it has absolutely no relevance to someone who just broke their leg.

I'm glad someone else agrees:

Flying-Emu said:
You know what's even better than all that?

The fact that you know that and that it doesn't affect your daily life at all. You don't go through life, get a bar of chocolate and say "Hey, I am having dopamine pumped into my brain lulz". You're just happy.

Therefore, the chemistry of the brain has no bearing on everyday life. That is, unless you're an M.D. searching for a way to solve "Issue X" with humanity.
Oh just because I explain the process does not mean that will change the way you perceive the world. What ever anyone perceives as their reality will be their reality, and usually very little can effect what they "see/smell/feel". When you reach out and touch something and feel it's surface, you think to yourself, ahh, this must be a real peice of wood. But whos to say that this isn't some kind of Matrix simulation, or perhaps you are all just figments of my imagination, and perhaps I am not real at all, perhaps you are not as well? Who knows. Know one knows.

And in fact, (and please do not go into relgion on this.. I am just using it prove the statement I am about to make) ------

The pope or whom ever you like.. a shaman,rabbi,vegan claims to know what it is all about. And granted, from their perception it is a reality what ever they believe. And they can claim that the feel like there is an afterlife/god/multivese/magicbunnyponny what ever,and they might feel like they know. But the fact of the matter is that they can not KNOW, they can feel like it is true. The only ones that truly know are gone, so it is all in faith. And that is fine and great. But and again

(PLEASE do not use the above reference to branch off to religion..Ii am just using it as an example ..if you have to quote it..just say that "thing" and make a difference example you would like to counter with...thanks..)

Ok, but my point is that, no matter what you believe I could doubt telling them about this will change many people's minds about the world. Perhaps some might be interested, but I am just saying that is what happens. How you perceive that response is up to you! We could debate back and forth about all that, but obviously it won't change either of our minds, and would just be us making opinions or statements. People should feel free to pursue what they think is real, no one really knows. Again, no one can say they know anything, we are all on this ride together and just kind of try to relate. I mean, sure, we are on a rotating, revolving chuck of spherical dirt and other materials in a mega vacum among several other spheres of other object types. We are made of rotating and revolving vibrating molecules as well. Everything is Pi.. so do you believe in cherry, or blue berry? I can't change your mind. But hope you see what I am trying to say.
 

Ezzay

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pimppeter2 said:
Why, they're goona arrest me? I could list the about 40 kids I know who are probably carring illegal drugs. Face it dude, being a teenager is fucked up
I'm turning 20 in a few months, and I can safely tell you, being a teenager is as fucked up as you allow it to be.
 

Kif

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Jun 2, 2009
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I could waffle on about biological differences between emotional connection and simple pleasures, or about how we're one of very few species on the planet able to have casual sex and also pair bond.

However, I will instead give a real world example that recently happened to me.

There was a girl, she and I were engaged in a casual meaningless relationship that worked well... however, we decided to see if we could make it a proper relationship and spend time together doing things other than... well, each other. It just didn't work cause there was no real emotional connection between us. We both agreed that outside the bedroom there was just nothing there, no spark if you will.

So, there it is real life example of sex just being sex and meaning nothing else even when trying to make it mean something.
 

Lazier Than Thou

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Jun 27, 2009
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It was once told to me by a wise man that sex was like emotional sticky-tape. When used on a single surface it will hold best, but when used on multiple it becomes worthless. An example of this philosophy in action would be to remember your "first time." Many people remember it with vivid detail because it was important and special. Indeed, they actually probably still hold fond memories of the person they "did it" with. Not only that, but, if I'm remembering correctly from another person, biologically women become more attached to the person they have sex with. You might even say they "fall in love" with such a person, but many people don't even seem to believe in love anymore. Biological evolution seems to be the basis for this concept, but it works well within the settings of arranged marriages.

I guess what I'm trying to say is all you heathens are going to burn in Hell.

I mean, uhh, sex isn't just sex. Yeah, that's it. Then again, I'm still a virgin and proud of it.