Is there a term for this? Please explain.

[Sneaky-Pie]

So here's the deal. For as long as I can remember, I've always have had this nagging feeling that I was different somehow. Not different in a good way, but more so in the negative. Whenever the thought would occur, I would just naturally shrug it off and do my best to ignore it, but lately it has been increasingly difficult.

The single best word I can describe how I feel is "Defective." As in I'm somehow a defective human being. As far as I can tell, there's no reason for me to think this, there was no cause, no reaction to something that started the thinking, I just do and I'm not sure why.

Perhaps a metaphor for this might help in me trying to illustrate it. Imagine a triangular block being forced through a square hole. It will almost fit, but not quite, it's simply just off.

I just cannot shake the feeling that something about myself is just "off." Like I said, it has been more and more recently been causing me to think about it lately and doesn't seem to be fading anytime soon.

I wish I could describe it better, as the descriptions I provided don't seem to do it justice.

For anyone who might know a thing or two about this kind of stuff, is there a specific term, or rather a term that closely resembles symptoms like the ones I mentioned?

 

[grimsprice]

Thats completely normal. Just remember... in every movie... its always a glitch that makes the computer sentient or turn the machine into the hero.

 

[Hazy]

We are all different, my friend. If anything: EMBRACE the individuality. You're different, not defective. We all are

And sorry, I cannot think of a term to suit this particular situation.

 

[Wildrow12]

Can you be more specific? Is it something in your body? A way of thinking that you perceive as "strange"?

(would you prefer to have this conversation via PM?)

 

[Macgyvercas]

Well, if it helps at all, I have Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and OCD and I don't feel defective. In fact, my Autism makes my life more...OH LOOK! A CHICKEN!
[small]sorry, couldn't resist[/small]

 

[x434343]

It's called "Being Human". Everyone is like that, from me to you to the pope.

 

[HT_Black]

How about...
Compulsive self-depreciation induced by elevated personal expectations?

That's the best I have at the moment. In layman's terms, it means you're inclined to feel bad about myself because you expect a high standard from yourself...is that close?

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

Can you be more specific? Is it something in your body? A way of thinking that you perceive as "strange"?

(would you prefer to have this conversation via PM?)

That's the thing, I'm not sure if I can describe it. As far as I can tell, it's like I just "know" that I am. whether I want to accept it or not. Physically, as well as mentally (as far as I know) I'm fine.

I dunno. It's times like these where words simply fail me.

 

[Bat Vader]

So here's the deal. For as long as I can remember, I've always have had this nagging feeling that I was different somehow. Not different in a good way, but more so in the negative. Whenever the thought would occur, I would just naturally shrug it off and do my best to ignore it, but lately it has been increasingly difficult.

The single best word I can describe how I feel is "Defective." As in I'm somehow a defective human being. As far as I can tell, there's no reason for me to think this, there was no cause, no reaction to something that started the thinking, I just do and I'm not sure why.

Perhaps a metaphor for this might help in me trying to illustrate it. Imagine a triangular block being forced through a square hole. It will almost fit, but not quite, it's simply just off.

I just cannot shake the feeling that something about myself is just "off." Like I said, it has been more and more recently been causing me to think about it lately and doesn't seem to be fading anytime soon.

I wish I could describe it better, as the descriptions I provided don't seem to do it justice.

For anyone who might know a thing or two about this kind of stuff, is there a specific term, or rather a term that closely resembles symptoms like the ones I mentioned?

Low self esteem? I suffer from that big time.

 

[Irridium]

Embrace your individuality, it is what makes you you.

Your not defective, just differant, in a good way.

 

[Scolar Visari]

I've run into something like this, when you drive your self crazy just by wondering if you're crazy. But don't get too worked up about it. Everyones different you know?

 

[Wildrow12]

Can you be more specific? Is it something in your body? A way of thinking that you perceive as "strange"?

(would you prefer to have this conversation via PM?)

That's the thing, I'm not sure if I can describe it. As far as I can tell, it's like I just "know" that I am. whether I want to accept it or not. Physically, as well as mentally (as far as I know) I'm fine.

I dunno. It's times like these where words simply fail me.

Ah ha! I see now. I think I have your problem figured out.

You feel as if you don't belong in the places you've tried before? (sure, no one tells you that you are unwelcome, and maybe they really do like you. But the fact is YOU don't feel like you belong.)

You are having difficulty finding people who 'get' you?


Any of this making sense?

 

[Pimppeter2]

Do you not have many friends? I mean real friends, not just people you know and kinda hang out with/ Do you feel like others won't accept you? Do you tell yourself that their not like you and wouldn't understand

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

A lot of replies dealing with individuality, and I can see why.

The problem is, I have accepted that (many years ago) but this constant reaffirmation of being "defective" is affecting me negatively.

At first, I thought it was some form of depression, but as of now I'm unsure.

 

[Ninja_X]

Well, if it helps at all, I have Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and OCD and I don't feel defective. In fact, my Autism makes my life more...OH LOOK! A CHICKEN!
[small]sorry, couldn't resist[/small]

Where? Where did the chicken go? I LOVE CHICKENS!

ITS OVER THERE HOLY CRAP IT IS A CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Throws kunai*

Now its dead.

As for the topic, low self esteem most likely.

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

Can you be more specific? Is it something in your body? A way of thinking that you perceive as "strange"? (would you prefer to have this conversation via PM?)

That's the thing, I'm not sure if I can describe it. As far as I can tell, it's like I just "know" that I am. whether I want to accept it or not. Physically, as well as mentally (as far as I know) I'm fine. I dunno. It's times like these where words simply fail me.

Ah ha! I see now. I think I have your problem figured out. You feel as if you don't belong in the places you've tried before? (sure, no one tells you that you are unwelcome, and maybe they really do like you. But the fact is YOU don't feel like you belong.) You are having difficulty finding people who 'get' you? Any of this making sense?

Do you not have many friends? I mean real friends, not just people you know and kinda hang out with/ Do you feel like others won't accept you? Do you tell yourself that their not like you and wouldn't understand

I see where both of you are going. The fact is, no. I have some good friends, each of them I can count on. I tend to make friends easily as well and am comfortable with the places I go.

It's not that I feel out of place all the time, if anything it just feels like I've been rewired (poorly) and know that it was done.

Again, I hope this making a little more sense. My mind is racing in an effort to find a better description.

 

[Wildrow12]

Can you be more specific? Is it something in your body? A way of thinking that you perceive as "strange"? (would you prefer to have this conversation via PM?)

That's the thing, I'm not sure if I can describe it. As far as I can tell, it's like I just "know" that I am. whether I want to accept it or not. Physically, as well as mentally (as far as I know) I'm fine. I dunno. It's times like these where words simply fail me.

Ah ha! I see now. I think I have your problem figured out. You feel as if you don't belong in the places you've tried before? (sure, no one tells you that you are unwelcome, and maybe they really do like you. But the fact is YOU don't feel like you belong.) You are having difficulty finding people who 'get' you? Any of this making sense?

Do you not have many friends? I mean real friends, not just people you know and kinda hang out with/ Do you feel like others won't accept you? Do you tell yourself that their not like you and wouldn't understand

I see where both of you are going. The fact is, no. I have some good friends, each of them I can count on. I tend to make friends easily as well and am comfortable with the places I go.

It's not that I feel out of place all the time, if anything it just feels like I've been rewired (poorly) and know that it was done.

Again, I hope this making a little more sense. My mind is racing in an effort to find a better description.

Does this 'feeling' you describe, stress you out or make you nervous?

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

Can you be more specific? Is it something in your body? A way of thinking that you perceive as "strange"? (would you prefer to have this conversation via PM?)

That's the thing, I'm not sure if I can describe it. As far as I can tell, it's like I just "know" that I am. whether I want to accept it or not. Physically, as well as mentally (as far as I know) I'm fine. I dunno. It's times like these where words simply fail me.

Ah ha! I see now. I think I have your problem figured out. You feel as if you don't belong in the places you've tried before? (sure, no one tells you that you are unwelcome, and maybe they really do like you. But the fact is YOU don't feel like you belong.) You are having difficulty finding people who 'get' you? Any of this making sense?

Do you not have many friends? I mean real friends, not just people you know and kinda hang out with/ Do you feel like others won't accept you? Do you tell yourself that their not like you and wouldn't understand

I see where both of you are going. The fact is, no. I have some good friends, each of them I can count on. I tend to make friends easily as well and am comfortable with the places I go.

It's not that I feel out of place all the time, if anything it just feels like I've been rewired (poorly) and know that it was done.

Again, I hope this making a little more sense. My mind is racing in an effort to find a better description.

Does this 'feeling' you describe, stress you out or make you nervous?

To a degree, I would say that it stresses me a little, but probably due to me not being able to figure it out.

I'm typically very laid back and easy going.

 

[Wildrow12]

Can you be more specific? Is it something in your body? A way of thinking that you perceive as "strange"? (would you prefer to have this conversation via PM?)

That's the thing, I'm not sure if I can describe it. As far as I can tell, it's like I just "know" that I am. whether I want to accept it or not. Physically, as well as mentally (as far as I know) I'm fine. I dunno. It's times like these where words simply fail me.

Ah ha! I see now. I think I have your problem figured out. You feel as if you don't belong in the places you've tried before? (sure, no one tells you that you are unwelcome, and maybe they really do like you. But the fact is YOU don't feel like you belong.) You are having difficulty finding people who 'get' you? Any of this making sense?

Do you not have many friends? I mean real friends, not just people you know and kinda hang out with/ Do you feel like others won't accept you? Do you tell yourself that their not like you and wouldn't understand

I see where both of you are going. The fact is, no. I have some good friends, each of them I can count on. I tend to make friends easily as well and am comfortable with the places I go.

It's not that I feel out of place all the time, if anything it just feels like I've been rewired (poorly) and know that it was done.

Again, I hope this making a little more sense. My mind is racing in an effort to find a better description.

Does this 'feeling' you describe, stress you out or make you nervous?

To a degree, I would say that it stresses me a little, but probably due to me not being able to figure it out.

I'm typically very laid back and easy going.

Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes in your life? Do you worry about things changing?

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes in your life? Do you worry about things changing?

Not really.

I do have anxiety over some present relationship issues, but those are merited. Besides, I was aware of this feeling way before that.