Is this guy a dick or is this ableism?

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
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I'm sharing this because it's a funny story I heard on a podcast. THIS DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME! And because it does have a certain discussion value from our PC culture. I don't really think theres a right or wrong answer here, more of just an exercise of at what point do we draw an arbitrary line?

It's freezing out, a windy day. Were talking bitter bitter cold, and because of the wind even your own jacket isn't keeping the heat in. You're trying to rent a movie from a redbox outside a 711. There is a person in front of you currently using the machine. (Don't be a dick and suggest waiting inside/in your car with the heat on or any other bullshit to fuck up the scenario. You're waiting online, deal with it.)

your waiting for your turn, right behind the guy. You notice he has an obvious birth defect. He doesn't have fully formed hands, and as it is he's taking longer than your average person to use the Red Box. Fair enough, you think, that's just what is.

Finally, and here's the potentially dick question... He is aware you're standing behind him, and since he's outside as well (and ya know, he can't wear gloves) he's aware it's really really really fucking cold out. When the machine asks him if he wants to enter his email address to get coupons, ya know that screen that 99.9% of us skip? He decides to enter his email.

Now bare in mind, like I said, he's slower than most people using the machine. Is the decision to enter one's email address here, knowing someone else is waiting to use the machine in the bitter cold, being aware of one's limitation... is this a dick move or is it ABLEIST to feel this is a dick move?
 

Rewdalf

Usually Sacrastic
Jan 6, 2010
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If the guy wants coupons, he's going to enter his e-mail regardless.

I'm still going to silently curse at him under my breath. Nobody is very focused on their current scenario when they've got more pressing things in mind like bitter cold.

Hell, I find myself hating people at work a lot because I have to sit outside in the freezing wind while they just get a quick flash in between getting out of their car and running into the hotel.
I don't care if you're old, young, disabled, ethnic, or anything else.
If you're taking forever, or making it harder for me to do my job and causing me to sit outside and freeze for an extra few minutes, I'm going to hate you...

Bonus points to those asshats who don't tip.
And I just love hearing them complain about the weather, or toss a wayward comment about just how cold it is, or how cold they feel.
For serious? I work in this weather for eight straight hours. I don't need to hear it unless you're sliding me a $20. Then I'll laugh at even your sh*ttiest jokes...
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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Umm... neither?

He's first in line. He's entitled to do the thing he went there to do and it's not his fault he can't do it as fast as most.

You're getting miffed because someone in front of you is holding you up. I think each and every one of us is guilty of that. (Dear people who walk slowly in the middle of the footpath, I hate you with the boiling fury of a million suns.)
 

Albino Boo

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Jun 14, 2010
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The real answer is that you are impatient and you will be still impatient if the guy had full use of his hands was just slow. The source of your irritation is that fact you don't like waiting.
 

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
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albino boo said:
The real answer is that you are impatient and you will be still impatient if the guy had full use of his hands was just slow. The source of your irritation is that fact you don't like waiting.
Well in this scenario, it's a person waiting in the freezing cold. If it was like a nice spring day? no problem. But in this scenario the elements play a large role in the discomfort of waiting.

Zhukov said:
Umm... neither?

He's first in line. He's entitled to do the thing he went there to do and it's not his fault he can't do it as fast as most.

You're getting miffed because someone in front of you is holding you up. I think each and every one of us is guilty of that. (Dear people who walk slowly in the middle of the footpath, I hate you with the boiling fury of a million suns.)
The person in this scenario. Not me. This is a story I heard and am relaying 2nd hand from a podcast. I am just relaying it.
 

Thaluikhain

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Jan 16, 2010
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Yeah, it's a bit annoying when people take their time, but if they want coupons, they are allowed to enter their email.
 

Squilookle

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Nov 6, 2008
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DudeistBelieve said:
albino boo said:
The real answer is that you are impatient and you will be still impatient if the guy had full use of his hands was just slow. The source of your irritation is that fact you don't like waiting.
Well in this scenario, it's a person waiting in the freezing cold. If it was like a nice spring day? no problem. But in this scenario the elements play a large role in the discomfort of waiting.
Completely irrelevant. You simply have little patience, end of story. If a murderer (for example) said they only killed somebody because that person pissed them off, it doesn't change the fact that they murdered them.

Sounds to me like the solution to this problem is you having bought a better jacket beforehand.
 
Mar 30, 2010
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It would be a nice gesture if they let the person behind them quickly take care of their business first, but not making that gesture doesn't make them a dick. They were there first and if they've got business to take care of they're entitled to take care of it before the second person.
 

Barbas

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Oct 28, 2013
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Ask if he needs a pen. You know, to get the buttons more easily.

I wouldn't call it 'ableist', just simple annoyance.
 

Flames66

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Aug 22, 2009
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I would wait. I might get a bit impatient and annoyed, but I would try not to show that and make the chap feel rushed.

Squilookle said:
DudeistBelieve said:
Well in this scenario, it's a person waiting in the freezing cold. If it was like a nice spring day? no problem. But in this scenario the elements play a large role in the discomfort of waiting.
Completely irrelevant. You simply have little patience, end of story. If a murderer (for example) said they only killed somebody because that person pissed them off, it doesn't change the fact that they murdered them.

Sounds to me like the solution to this problem is you having bought a better jacket beforehand.
This is a hypothetical scenario. I agree about the coat though. It is each individuals responsibility to make sure they are wearing suitable clothes for the weather.
 

CeeBod

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Sep 4, 2012
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Zhukov said:
Umm... neither?

He's first in line. He's entitled to do the thing he went there to do and it's not his fault he can't do it as fast as most.

You're getting miffed because someone in front of you is holding you up. I think each and every one of us is guilty of that. (Dear people who walk slowly in the middle of the footpath, I hate you with the boiling fury of a million suns.)
Every single time I'm in a hurry, late for something, or just trying to get shit done, I find myself stuck behind the human version of snails, walking at the speed of glacial drift, and always in a group that's stretched out across the whole pavement and making it almost impossible to get around them. I always feel like asking "How can you even move so slowly? What are you even trying to do at this speed? Kill a few hours by walking next door? My grandmother was faster than this after she'd had a stroke!" - I can't remember ever being held up by disabled people, it's the able-bodied and stupid that are pretty much always the targets of my ire!
 

Creator002

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Aug 30, 2010
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It's neither. It's being annoyed because it's cold and waiting in line is boring. It's just that the waiting is out of your control and you do have someone to blame. It'd be the same if the person were able-bodied and simply slow.
It'd only be "ableist" if you wouldn't get annoyed in the same situation as someone able-bodied.
 

Ambitiousmould

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Apr 22, 2012
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Being from the UK, I cannot conceive of the mind of someone who has no patience for queuing. Queues are there to be patient in, that's the whole point. Queuing in the cold (and rain) is what 99% of the population does for about 80% of they year. Here are some tips on queuing:

1) Never talk to the people next to you. Exceptions include if you know the person, or if the queue doesn't move for half an hour or more, then you may utter one or two words about the state of the queue.

2) Never, ever, push in front. If you see someone that does, you may be permitted to tut. You also reserve the right to call that person out on queue-hopping, but are not obligated to do so.

3) If someone is holding up the queue due to something they are doing, e.g. looking for a card or ticket they should have had on hand or trying to return/obtain a refund for an item that obviously cannot be returned/refunded, or loudly complaining at staff, you may be permitted to tut or even sigh discreetly.

4) If someone appears to be in some way disabled and this is holding up the queue, make sure not to stare, or worse, sigh. You are absolutely not permitted to tut in this situation.
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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DudeistBelieve said:
Zhukov said:
Umm... neither?

He's first in line. He's entitled to do the thing he went there to do and it's not his fault he can't do it as fast as most.

You're getting miffed because someone in front of you is holding you up. I think each and every one of us is guilty of that. (Dear people who walk slowly in the middle of the footpath, I hate you with the boiling fury of a million suns.)
The person in this scenario. Not me. This is a story I heard and am relaying 2nd hand from a podcast. I am just relaying it.
Chill.

General "you".

I'm using the term "you" the same way you used it in the OP:

DudeistBelieve said:
your waiting for your turn, right behind the guy. You notice he has an obvious birth defect. He doesn't have fully formed hands, and as it is he's taking longer than your average person to use the Red Box. Fair enough, you think, that's just what is.
 

Wrex Brogan

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Jan 28, 2016
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It'd be a dick move if he looked you in the eyes while he did it, possibly with a smarmy grin on his face.

It'd be Ableist if you were getting annoyed at him specifically because he was disabled, not just because he was slow.

There's a difference between 'fuck it's cold out, wish he'd hurry up' and 'Oi Baby Hands, my nipples have turned to ice!'.
 

Jarek Mace

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Jun 8, 2009
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"He can't wear gloves"

He can wear socks though. Imagine a nice pair of really thick thermal ones. Now that'd be better than gloves.
 

Quellist

Migratory coconut
Oct 7, 2010
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Suck it up and wait. Dick moves and ableism doesn't even come into it. The guy has a right to use the redbox, as do you when its your turn.

Don't turn this into something it isnt