Is this guy a dick or is this ableism?

[happyninja42]

Nah it would be a bad situation to be in (for both of you), but it's like writing a check, if that's what they have to do, it's what they have to do, their disability doesn't really play much part in it.

I tend to get more irritated with people who are taking up all the store clerk's time for petty reasons (complaining about store policy for refusal of a refund for example when the minimum wage worker in front of them can't do anything about it), of course this is the only store clerk, because the store runs on a skeleton crew and there's a mounting line behind this person who's putting up a fuss.

Yeah, I've always found that annoying. I've used this phrase a lot when talking to people about just generally being a nice person to customer service. "You bitching to the person on the phone, about your service, is like bitching at the person behind the register at Burger King, because you are upset with their corporate policies. The person behind the counter just wants to know if you want fries with that." Misdirected customer anger causes so much grief in the world. Politely ask to speak to the manager, and let the register person do the one thing they actually have control over, which is selling products to customers in a line.

 

[Scarim Coral]

This is the first time I had heard of "ableism".

I guess I would go with the latter since I am assuming this disable person means well. I highly doubt there is a troll out who would do the same thing if it means having his nuts getting frostbites.

Even then, I'm the type of guy who had put up alot of shits like this therefore I had put up a "toughen" out sort of policy when it come to this. Example- it's heavy rain when I'm walking back home. While I have the option to called my dad to give me a lift home from his car but I don't like him doing that (cos it's a called out that I should get a car eventhought I hate driving.) so I put up being wet on the way back home.

 

[Buckets]

If he wants the coupons he's entitled to put in his email. Waiting is just part of life, as is patience.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

If the guy wants coupons, he's going to enter his e-mail regardless.

This. Though I'd curse myself more for my obviously poor timing.

 

[Lightknight]

Now bare in mind, like I said, he's slower than most people using the machine. Is the decision to enter one's email address here, knowing someone else is waiting to use the machine in the bitter cold, being aware of one's limitation... is this a dick move or is it ABLEIST to feel this is a dick move?

I'm assuming that a person thinking it was a dick move were thinking that it was because the person added an inconvenience to them that was further exacerbated by their condition.

So the person is frustrated by the inconvenience and not making any ableist comment.

In order for this to be ableism we would have to know how the same person would feel if there were an able-bodied asshole taking the same amount of time. Since the setup of the discussion includes a component where the person in line recognizes the person is slower but says that's just how it is. We can conclude that they actually gave more grace to the individual based on their handicap rather than being frustrated that the person with a handicap couldn't perform at non-handicap levels.

In any event, I find the term ableism to be somewhat misleading. It can make someone out to be a bigot just for acknowledging the truth of the situation. I do not want a blind surgeon to perform an operation on me. This is me discriminating against the blind which would absolutely fall under the definition of ablest but it is not necessarily bigoted or wrong. In order for something to truly be bigoted or prejudice it actually needs to be wrong. Being frustrated that guy in front of you is taking longer isn't ableist. Being ableist would be closer to if you saw the guy walk up and automatically assumed he was dumb or wouldn't be able to rent the movie because of the disability when that isn't necessarily the case.

 

[CaitSeith]

The moment you start thinking this situation with terms like "ableism", you're looking too much into it. "Just considering it a dick move" doesn't get any near of crossing that line. The only one affected by your negative thoughts would be you. It isn't like he isn't freezing too, is he? And once he's done, he'll be gone as if you had never been there. Your presence wouldn't affect him in anyway. Or do you suspect he would start typing his email just because you'd be behind him? If he would, then it's a dick move (hands or no hands). But how can you tell if that's the case?

 

[sageoftruth]

This reminds me of the scenario I run into all the time at convenience stores where I'm waiting in line and the person ahead of me is picking out 19 different kinds of lottery tickets. It's not a casino! If you were to slice my throat during those scenarios, you'd be sprayed down with boiling blood. However, I always wait patiently and maintain my composure because that is a service that the establishment offers.

The worst part for me is knowing I have to wait simply because the poor fool has deluded himself into thinking his choices matter when it comes to stuff like that. This isn't the stock market. Pick your random tickets already!

 

[DementedSheep]

Being annoyed at having to wait is normal but unless they are specifically doing this to hold you up it's not a dick move and you should just wait. It doesn't really matter why they are slower. It's only a bit dickish if they didn't actually need to hold anyone up to do what they wanted, like the people who get to the counter in a fast food joint and then screw around deciding what they want rather than making a decision before joining the line.

 

[renegade7]

It's 2016, it's your own fault for still using Red Box.

But if you've got coupons, and for some reason you absolutely must use Red Box (in 2016...) not using them would just be leaving money on the table.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

Define "normal speed".

I think this pretty eloquently sums up the issue.

If you're getting annoyed at this person because he's slow because of a birth defect, and holding disdain for him for doing something that it'd be perfectly fine for someone with the capability to go faster to do, then you're being ableist. You're expecting this guy to live his life in such a way that his disability doesn't inconvenience anybody else, which is pretty darn unsympathetic to the fact that as much as you're being inconvenienced by it, he has to deal with it constantly.

Of course, if he's deliberately being slow then that's a whole different matter. And there is a line, but at this point it just seems like someone complaining about how someone else's disability impacts them

 

[Callate]

I always seem to end up at ATMs behind someone who's attempting to contact the mothership, so I'm probably going to burn a small hole in his back with my glare regardless.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

I think pretty much anyone would get annoyed, that doesn't mean it's 'ableism'.

For example, I was in line to get food one day, and the line was decently long, so anyone in line had plenty of time to look at the menu and decide what they wanted to get (and the menu was written in enormous letters, so you could easily see if from a long distance away). The lady who was in front of me finally gets up to the counter to order, and THEN decides it's time for her to actually look at the menu and decide what she wants (and before you ask, no, she didn't have any questions about the menu to actual ask the employees).

Now, was I annoyed? Of course. But for all I know, maybe this lady is just really dumb, maybe she has actual brain damage, maybe she has some sort of disorder which makes her incapable of understanding why an action like this is annoying to other people. But it doesn't really matter, because it's still annoying me and all the other patrons behind me as well. It's not ableism: it's that people don't like waiting in lines for any longer than they have to.

 

[FirstNameLastName]

Does it have to be either of them? How about, you aren't ableist for being annoyed at someone who is causing you to wait in the cold, and neither is that person an arsehole for getting the coupons they are fully entitled to. After all, this person isn't deliberately causing you strife, so why would their disability, or lack there of, make it any better or worse to be annoyed? Likewise, how could it really be argued that the person has an obligation to forfeit their coupons just because some other person wants them to?

 

[MysticSlayer]

(Dear people who walk slowly in the middle of the footpath, I hate you with the boiling fury of a million suns.)

I've just started walking on the grass around them and may even brush against bushes if I have to. For some reason, they always find that to be rude, as if preventing people from walking around them isn't rude itself. Oh well, at least the feeling of being pissed off is mutual in the end. I'll probably start uttering curse words "under my breath" just to get a slight edge.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

Umm... neither?

He's first in line. He's entitled to do the thing he went there to do and it's not his fault he can't do it as fast as most.

You're getting miffed because someone in front of you is holding you up. I think each and every one of us is guilty of that. (Dear people who walk slowly in the middle of the footpath, I hate you with the boiling fury of a million suns.)

Pretty much this. Being kept out in the cold is frustrating regardless of the circumstances. Being inconvenienced is just part of life. If you told the guy to get his freaky baby hands out of the way so you can rent your damn movie then you'd be an asshole.

 

[lacktheknack]

I don't care. I'm a very, very patient man. It honestly wouldn't even annoy me.

 

[Musou Tensei]

I don't believe in the concept of ableism so even if the guy behind him thinks he is a dick, so what? As long he doesn't starts yelling at the disabled guy or worse, he can think whatever he wants, he can even fantasize ripping the guy appart for doing that, as long he doesn't actually do it.

 

[Vigormortis]

In this scenario, I will take a third option and ask him if he would like me to help enter it for him.
If he says yes, then we both get what we want. If he says no, then I should just suck it up, I guess.
My real question is who the hell uses Redbox anymore when streaming services exist?

This, in a nut shell.

Not much more to add, really. Except perhaps the option, despite the OPs request to not include this, to sit and wait in the already warm vehicle until the man was done.

 

[Sampler]

Presumably his deformity means his employment opportunities are more limited and therefore coupons are rather useful to stretch what he can earn? So, not a dick move, if the guy behind was in such a position he could try striking up a conversation and politely as one can offer to do the machine for him, so he can put his hands back in his pockets or whatever to keep warm - potentially viewed as a dick move by the handicapped guy he might want to prove he can do things, but, if done with a genuine wish to help and politely enough, then, can't really argue much.

Having been a video rental store manager some decade and a half ago I'm still surprised people actually go out of their homes to rent these days, but, going back to the beginning, maybe not everyone can afford a 'net connection and a 'flix subscription.

 

[maninahat]

Umm... neither?

He's first in line. He's entitled to do the thing he went there to do and it's not his fault he can't do it as fast as most.

You're getting miffed because someone in front of you is holding you up. I think each and every one of us is guilty of that. (Dear people who walk slowly in the middle of the footpath, I hate you with the boiling fury of a million suns.)

Precisely this. I get annoyed when anyone takes more than 16 seconds to finish their transaction at a cash machine, and yet I will accept that whilst they are there they can take as long as they like. I expect to be able to do so myself when it is my turn, if I wanted.