Is This Weird?

[Verrenxnon]

Haha I've been that guy before. I shared a bed with this girl for a year, and although she was burning for me, I held to my Catholic values. Honestly, it works if there's genuine affection. The lady's ability to compromise her morals is powerful and I hope the boyfriend knows what he means to her.

The boyfriend must have fantastic control of himself. There's a rare, occasionally irrational valor in celibacy until marriage. The man I was applauds him. The man I am now wants to be ambivalent.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

I applaud them, then.

 

[secretshadow90]

I don't think it's that weird. I don't really want sex through a combination of bad experiences, wanting to maintain virginity for awhile longer (no religious meaning for that, just my own personal desire) and just plain not wanting to. Without knowing the whole story it's a tough call, but he may just not want sex yet. If it's cool between them, it's cool with me.

 

[RnAoDm]

tell her to get him in his sleep...

 

[ReincarnatedFTP]

This Karma krap oughta be real or I'm gonna go apesh@t

Quick point. I wouldn't rely on karma coming around. Honestly, you should be good for the sake of good and because you think you are doing right.

Only doing good things because of karma is like the Christian fundamentalist moron that goes "Without God there'd be no morals and we can totally rape and kill do whatever lulz". Sure it's true to an extent, but the fundamentalist has revealed his lack of moral character. He doesn't care about good, but reward and punishment. It's akin to the sociopath who says he would rape and murder all day if he could get away with it.

Not trying to insult you, just make sure you know what your motivations are.

 

[Avatar Roku]

Or maybe he's self-conscious about himself.

Self-conscious about himself [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment]? Sorry, had to do it.

On topic, you know your friend better than we do. Chances are it's one of the reasons that has been listed, but we can't judge that in this case. Sorry I can't be of more help.

 

[p3t3r]

probably.
but if the guy doesn't want to get laid thats his problem, you should just talk to him about it instead of the internet.

 

[Carlston]

Someone i know has been dating a bloke, has been living with him (and therefore sharing a bed) for about 2 years but they have have not had sex. neither of them believe in no sex before marriage and she has tried to instigate things many times but every time he has said no.
what are your views on this? would you be OK in this situation or not?

Neit means Neit comrade. But honestly if someone would wait that long, and it being he guy who normally cheats and humps everything that comes around...

she should keep him. He'll be faithful.

Just pray he doesn't have a strange sex fetish, if she finds out he can't get it up unless she's in a hula skirt and a miners helmet and squating on the coffee table...

 

[Xanadu84]

First off, cool. Celibacy may not be a relationship strategy with a very good success rate for actually improving a relationship, but overcoming the desire to get laid because you think it will be good for your relationship? That takes a lot of guts (I was going to say balls, but that's just too easy a joke).

Secondly, I think its worth noting that there are more bases then first and home. You can definitely have plenty of fun in bed without that home run. Because of that, I really don't think this is that weird. Unusual, and a minority definitely, but not all that weird.

 

[niglett]

there having sex and not fessing up to it.

 

[PeeSoup]

Pretty weird. What is super weird is that she has been sleeping beside him for two years and hasn't bothered to get to the bottom of why he isn't sticking it to her yet. Be it that he's non-sexual, closeted gay, has erectile dysfunction, or whatever.... I'd have damn sure figured that out after a month tops. There has to be more to this than your buddy is telling.

No, I would never be cool with a lack of communication in a serious relationship.

 

[Thaius]

To be completely honest, I think it's horribly sad that someone would think this is "not okay." Weird, sure: we live in a sex-saturated society, and if someone keeps their virginity past 18 they're a minority. But wrong? Not at all. There was a more civilized time where sex meant something, where people saved such physical interaction for the one they really loved, for marriage. And we've sunk so far as to see it as a problem when a dating couple goes 2 years without sex.

It's perfectly fine. There is nothing wrong with it at all: nothing. Maybe something weird is going on (especially considering they're living together already), but I would not jump to conclusions just based on this.

 

[ReincarnatedFTP]

There was a more civilized time where sex meant something, where people saved such physical interaction for the one they really loved, for marriage.

Not going to argue with your views, but when was this "civilized time"?
Because if you're arguing for like the 1950s or the Victorian age or the Medieval times, I have to say I'm glad I didn't live around then, and I consider us more civilized today than we were then.

 

[Rawker]

This Karma krap oughta be real or I'm gonna go apesh@t

Quick point. I wouldn't rely on karma coming around. Honestly, you should be good for the sake of good and because you think you are doing right.

Only doing good things because of karma is like the Christian fundamentalist moron that goes "Without God there'd be no morals and we can totally rape and kill do whatever lulz". Sure it's true to an extent, but the fundamentalist has revealed his lack of moral character. He doesn't care about good, but reward and punishment. It's akin to the sociopath who says he would rape and murder all day if he could get away with it.

Not trying to insult you, just make sure you know what your motivations are.

I know I did what was right because it was right, and not just for some good juju, but you can't help hoping something good will come about for your good deed.

 

[Thaius]

There was a more civilized time where sex meant something, where people saved such physical interaction for the one they really loved, for marriage.

Not going to argue with your views, but when was this "civilized time"?
Because if you're arguing for like the 1950s or the Victorian age or the Medieval times, I have to say I'm glad I didn't live around then, and I consider us more civilized today than we were then.

When I say "civilized," I mean in this specific era, not humanity in general. Excuse my nerdism, but when Obi-Wan said that the lightsaber was "an elegant weapon, of a more civilized age," he was referring to an age where everyone was still killing each other: it wasn't like that age was more civilized completely, just that their ways of doing battle, the specific subject which he was talking about, was more civilized.

We may be more civilized in many ways now, but definitely in the area of sex. Sex is worth nothing anymore: it's just a simple, meaningless pastime, and that can hardly be considered "civilized."

 

[Scumpernickle]

It does seem a little odd, not totally weird.

He might have some sort reason for this, but he might just not want any sex at all.

 

[Flap Jack452]

That does seem really weird.

Did something happen to him before about sex to scare him off it, or is she just really, really unattractive doesnt have a nice personality?

Fixed your post for ya.

 

[nart_21086]

im gessin someone too small somewhere... ore their flat out lyin

 

[Lord Thodin]

Im pretty sure thats uh....thats not ok. SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET IT ON NOW!

 

[Scikosomatic]

okay, listen closely now, because I'll only say it once
ahem:

He.....
Is......
GAY