Jesus-ifying Zero Punctuation

[A random person]

Because people like to display their faith, as if we care?
Or their lack of faith.
It works both ways.

Also, incidentally: Putting a Jesus fish on your car doesn't mean you can ignore basic traffic safety.
Fucking stop trying to run me off the road - if God wanted me dead, she'd do it herself.

Oh, and stop putting the Confederate flag on the back of your hick truck.
We get it, you don't like black people or being able to see out the back window.
The South lost!
144 years ago!
Seriously people.

I hear you. Try living here in South Carolina, crazy Evangelical Christians and Confederate flag wavers as far as you can see.

 

[Credge]

Oh, and stop putting the Confederate flag on the back of your hick truck.
We get it, you don't like black people or being able to see out the back window.
The South lost!
144 years ago!
Seriously people.

I'm laughing at that because that's completely not the point of it at all.

Flying a confederate flag (or having a bumper sticker) doesnt mean you hate black people, it just means that you believe in having less power in the federal government

I'm smiling because this guy gets the point of it.

 

[The_Echo]

It's called expression, OP. As I understand, most people around the world have a freedom of it. So don't get all pissed off because someone mixed their faith with something they like. It's not that big of a deal. Quit your bitching on move on.

Mind you, I wouldn't do it, but I can see why some might.

 

[A random person]

I hear you. Try living here in South Carolina, crazy Evangelical Christians and Confederate flag wavers as far as you can see.

I live even further south than that.
Florida: Satan's Waiting Room.

But Florida didn't found the Confederacy (and it may be farther south, but "the deep south" cuts off at Georgia). We founded it, and thanks to the power of nationalism and anti-intellectualism here in the Bible belt, we're still proud of trying to keep slavery (ok, States rights was actually the big issue, but nullification would have rendered the federal government pointless).

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Yahtzee must have snapped and created his own cult! Save yourself, the end is nigh!

 

[Jim Grim]

This is clearly a sin. Thou shalt not amass wealth or some shit.

Also thou shalt not covet thy neighbours popular online game review show.

 

[SecretTacoNinja]

On that subject though, I think anyone owning one of those bumper stickers showing Calvin from C&H prostrate before a cross deserves to have their windows smashed.

I've never seen one but, agreed, that's the same as making C&H porn for me. x_x

 

[similar.squirrel]

Christians are pretty good at adopting popular practices and symbols as their own. Just ask about why Christmas falls on the 25th! (Hint: It ain't Jesus' birthday)

Very true. They're just moving with the times. A new, progressive Christianity.

 

[RobCoxxy]

Because they want to down with "Da yoof".
Or Ben Crawshaw's the second coming.

 

[KarumaK]

Because people like to display their faith, as if we care?
Or their lack of faith.
It works both ways.

Also, incidentally: Putting a Jesus fish on your car doesn't mean you can ignore basic traffic safety.
Fucking stop trying to run me off the road - if God wanted me dead, she'd do it herself.

Oh, and stop putting the Confederate flag on the back of your hick truck.
We get it, you don't like black people or being able to see out the back window.
The South lost!
144 years ago!
Seriously people.

You are the greatest person ever

Only if you're evil.

 

[Rawker]

Don't worry OP, wanting to rip clothing off women is part of growing up, you don't need to feel ashamed

Roflmao, yeah. Im sure Yahtzee would care more if his show was more popular. if he had a television show, (he'd get his ass sued off on the first episode, but that's just me.) i'm sure he would have been a little more upset.

 

[Takoto]

Well, that's a bit odd. xD

 

[clicketycrack]

And where did you learn that little nugget?

Common sense, dude.
If there is a God, (and I personally do not believe there is, but that won't stand in my way when it comes to being silly,) it's got to be a she.

After all, I've had girls controlling my life in various ways for years - why break the mold now?
It just doesn't seem right that anything but a female has unlimited power over me.

(And no, I do not mean it like that - my friends are just very strong, personality-wise.)

Do you really think that god has sexual organs.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

I almost ripped it off her.

You sure that weren't for completely unrelated reasons?... I'm kidding.

I'm guessing Yahtzee is getting such a status that he needs a cult.

 

[MrBlackers]

And where did you learn that little nugget?

Common sense, dude.
If there is a God, (and I personally do not believe there is, but that won't stand in my way when it comes to being silly,) it's got to be a she.

After all, I've had girls controlling my life in various ways for years - why break the mold now?
It just doesn't seem right that anything but a female has unlimited power over me.

(And no, I do not mean it like that - my friends are just very strong, personality-wise.)

EDIT: Additional point: Why should God be a he?

...w-wait...WHAT?

OP: What exactly was "Christian" about it?

It probably said something like "Jesus kicks ass, bitches?"
It's what mine would say if I were religious.

Nice rant there Max, and oh so true. On topic its just what the church does. Take something popular, rehash it with a faith inspired design, sell and repeat.

I've done better, but that definitely wasn't my worst.

EDIT: BTW Christians acknowledge that the 25th of December was ripped off from pagans, at least my branch does, so no need to hide it from us.

Well, first there is no "Church", unless you mean the Catholic Church...Which I really doubt is responsible since it's more of a protestant thing to make up WWJD and such. And lol at your defense for God being a woman, it's rather hilarious, but I mean that's nothing but a modern look back at patriarchy and saying it's bad so you as "the awesome atheist of today" get to call anyone who says anything with a he in it stupid. Ughh..There goes my rant.
*Bows* Thank you, thank you, I'll be here 'till they ban me.

 

[MrBlackers]

Well, first there is no "Church", unless you mean the Catholic Church...Which I really doubt is responsible since it's more of a protestant thing to make up WWJD and such. And lol at your defense for God being a woman, it's rather hilarious, but I mean that's nothing but a modern look back at patriarchy and saying it's bad so you as "the awesome atheist of today" get to call anyone who says anything with a he in it stupid. Ughh..There goes my rant.

Bolded the part I care about.
It wasn't a serious argument - it was just a silly joke.
If it was hilarious, I did my job.

Well good you've made me laugh. Honestly, a bit hard to tell joke from seriousness on the internet. I'm so very used to seeing ignorant assertions people make to make themselves feel good, which is ironic if you're an atheist since that's an argument used against religion that it is a tool of self indulgence. But again, good joke.

 

[Deathsquirt]

Rumor has it that flying spaghetti monsters don't actually have genders.

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

On that subject though, I think anyone owning one of those bumper stickers showing Calvin from C&H prostrate before a cross deserves to have their windows smashed.

I've never seen one but, agreed, that's the same as making C&H porn for me. x_x

O_O

Thank you for putting officially the most distubing images ever into my head. I will now go and cleanse my mind with acid.

 

[MrBlackers]

Well good you've made me laugh. Honestly, a bit hard to tell joke from seriousness on the internet. I'm so very used to seeing ignorant assertions people make to make themselves feel good, which is ironic if you're an atheist since that's an argument used against religion that it is a tool of self indulgence. But again, good joke.

Well, I'd try to joke about atheism, but there's nothing really funny about it - it doesn't have any rules or anything. It's not like a club, it's just a fancy way of saying "I don't believe in god."

I make religious jokes for the same reason I make sex jokes - I don't have sex (or religion,) but that's not a reason not to be silly about it.

If someone gets offended for a good reason, I'll apologize. If not, I won't.

And yes, it is difficult to tell sometimes.

And you don't have to worry - I never feel good.
I am...Depression Man!

No need to apologize, no offense taken, and it wouldn't have been for a good reason. And you can joke about atheism, but only in a snide way, not in a really funny way.

 

[TheBurningFist]

Beats me?... money, they can do what they want, kind of stuff... ?verbal vomit? and other stuff like that...