Jim & Yahtzee's Rhymedown Spectacular: The Straw Beast

penthesilea180

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Jul 25, 2010
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I was thinking of Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget during Jim's performance. I really wanted him to turn around to show he had been petting a white cat the entire time.
 

Psycomantis777

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Apr 24, 2012
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I want that to be Jim's voice forever.
Though I felt it went on for a while this week, I've always enjoyed Jim's work...
 

Jimothy Sterling

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Apr 18, 2011
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Since some asked for it, and I really did indulge myself on the vocal effects:

You poor sad young fools, you're the downfall of man,
You're merely my tools, just part of the plan,
You bicker and fight, and believe you have choice,
But for all of your might, you speak with my voice.

I'm the whisper you hear, when you feel you are just,
The bug in your ear, when you do what you must,
You think you've a cause, but it's all my design,
I've the key to all doors, and you? You are mine.

You may feel you are used, but it's all for a goal,
I'll admit I'm amused, but the plot has some soul,
Your systemic corruption will draw us quite near,
To the utter destruction of all gamers hold dear.

It started out small, on the blogs and the boards,
You answered the call, and you raised up your swords,
You said games are for all, and you struck many cords,
For though you don't have balls, you play games too, you roared.

So you pointed at sexists, and wanted inclusion,
You crossed off the checklists, some cried out intrusion,
You criticized games, and to my delight,
Others joined you in blame, and were dubbed the White Knights.

This all came to a head, when your brightest young martyr,
Inspired mass dread, with a humble Kickstarter,
And oh, all the fights, on the Facebook and Twitter,
The fires you ignite, as you turn the air bitter.

Feminism in gaming is something I made,
The shouting and shaming is my escapade,
And I am your better, I'm beyond comprehension
Your leash and your fetter, of whom occultists mention

The gamers were right, when they said you must halt,
For your worthy fight, succeeded to a fault,
Because now there's a series, upon the YouTube,
Full of dangerous theories, of damsels and boobs.

And every time one of her videos play,
Games start to wither and start to decay,
Companies shut down, and designers frown,and publishers start to feel cracks in their crown.
And though I'm an alien monster of sorts,
I toy with emotions of gamers for sport,
And if that sounds dramatic and really inane,
Some gamers act like I am real ... which is fucking insane.
 

ConanThe3rd

New member
Jul 3, 2012
72
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Nevermind the theme, I just dread at the time it took to render out the "video is fucked" effect.
 

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
3,257
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What a lovely and quite disturbing pair of reviews.

And get away from Slenderman! He's mine!
 

Tanneseph

New member
May 2, 2011
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Jimothy Sterling said:
Since some asked for it, and I really did indulge myself on the vocal effects:

You poor sad young fools, you're the downfall of man,
You're merely my tools, just part of the plan,
You bicker and fight, and believe you have choice,
But for all of your might, you speak with my voice.

I'm the whisper you hear, when you feel you are just,
The bug in your ear, when you do what you must,
You think you've a cause, but it's all my design,
I've the key to all doors, and you? You are mine.

You may feel you are used, but it's all for a goal,
I'll admit I'm amused, but the plot has some soul,
Your systemic corruption will draw us quite near,
To the utter destruction of all gamers hold dear.

It started out small, on the blogs and the boards,
You answered the call, and you raised up your swords,
You said games are for all, and you struck many cords,
For though you don't have balls, you play games too, you roared.

So you pointed at sexists, and wanted inclusion,
You crossed off the checklists, some cried out intrusion,
You criticized games, and to my delight,
Others joined you in blame, and were dubbed the White Knights.

This all came to a head, when your brightest young martyr,
Inspired mass dread, with a humble Kickstarter,
And oh, all the fights, on the Facebook and Twitter,
The fires you ignite, as you turn the air bitter.

Feminism in gaming is something I made,
The shouting and shaming is my escapade,
And I am your better, I'm beyond comprehension
Your leash and your fetter, of whom occultists mention

The gamers were right, when they said you must halt,
For your worthy fight, succeeded to a fault,
Because now there's a series, upon the YouTube,
Full of dangerous theories, of damsels and boobs.

And every time one of her videos play,
Games start to wither and start to decay,
Companies shut down, and designers frown,and publishers start to feel cracks in their crown.
And though I'm an alien monster of sorts,
I toy with emotions of gamers for sport,
And if that sounds dramatic and really inane,
Some gamers act like I am real ... which is fucking insane.
Danke! I haven't listened and relistened to one of these this much since Yahtzee's "Cover Lover."

Now.... if he'd just post what meters he was using.... though it's gotten more grasp-able in more recent episodes.
 

RaikuFA

New member
Jun 12, 2009
4,370
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Jimothy Sterling said:
Since some asked for it, and I really did indulge myself on the vocal effects:

You poor sad young fools, you're the downfall of man,
You're merely my tools, just part of the plan,
You bicker and fight, and believe you have choice,
But for all of your might, you speak with my voice.

I'm the whisper you hear, when you feel you are just,
The bug in your ear, when you do what you must,
You think you've a cause, but it's all my design,
I've the key to all doors, and you? You are mine.

You may feel you are used, but it's all for a goal,
I'll admit I'm amused, but the plot has some soul,
Your systemic corruption will draw us quite near,
To the utter destruction of all gamers hold dear.

It started out small, on the blogs and the boards,
You answered the call, and you raised up your swords,
You said games are for all, and you struck many cords,
For though you don't have balls, you play games too, you roared.

So you pointed at sexists, and wanted inclusion,
You crossed off the checklists, some cried out intrusion,
You criticized games, and to my delight,
Others joined you in blame, and were dubbed the White Knights.

This all came to a head, when your brightest young martyr,
Inspired mass dread, with a humble Kickstarter,
And oh, all the fights, on the Facebook and Twitter,
The fires you ignite, as you turn the air bitter.

Feminism in gaming is something I made,
The shouting and shaming is my escapade,
And I am your better, I'm beyond comprehension
Your leash and your fetter, of whom occultists mention

The gamers were right, when they said you must halt,
For your worthy fight, succeeded to a fault,
Because now there's a series, upon the YouTube,
Full of dangerous theories, of damsels and boobs.

And every time one of her videos play,
Games start to wither and start to decay,
Companies shut down, and designers frown,and publishers start to feel cracks in their crown.
And though I'm an alien monster of sorts,
I toy with emotions of gamers for sport,
And if that sounds dramatic and really inane,
Some gamers act like I am real ... which is fucking insane.
I never got into the whole Anita thing. From what I hear though, she's not the best person to discuss sexism, but her views aren't going to destroy games. So sayeth the most neutral man on this subject.
 

Daverson

New member
Nov 17, 2009
1,164
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I don't know what I'm more in love with, Yahtzee's Mask or Jim's voice D=

And what's this about Candlejacking? Frankly, it sounds like some kind of perverse sex act. This is the second time this week I've had to call stuff out on sounding like perverse sex acts and that's outright shameful.
SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME.
 

Benedict

New member
Feb 21, 2012
18
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Oh, jeez, it's spread to Yahtzee now. We're basically never, ever going to be safe from rhyming declarations of perverse lust for video game characters, are we? We might as well start calling dibs on our own polygonal waifus. In iambic pentameter.
 

DarkhoIlow

New member
Dec 31, 2009
2,531
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I enjoyed both of them.

Though I must say Jim's voice really creeped me the hell out quite a bit.
 

I.Muir

New member
Jun 26, 2008
599
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Enough about Anita already
When it turns out dragons crown sells insanely well in Japan and overseas it will be obvious that if anything Anita's commentary and all the other ivory tower feminists only got people to buy it out of spite and free publicity.
 

Darth_Payn

New member
Aug 5, 2009
2,868
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Jimothy Sterling said:
Since some asked for it, and I really did indulge myself on the vocal effects:

You poor sad young fools, you're the downfall of man,
You're merely my tools, just part of the plan,
You bicker and fight, and believe you have choice,
But for all of your might, you speak with my voice.

I'm the whisper you hear, when you feel you are just,
The bug in your ear, when you do what you must,
You think you've a cause, but it's all my design,
I've the key to all doors, and you? You are mine.

You may feel you are used, but it's all for a goal,
I'll admit I'm amused, but the plot has some soul,
Your systemic corruption will draw us quite near,
To the utter destruction of all gamers hold dear.

It started out small, on the blogs and the boards,
You answered the call, and you raised up your swords,
You said games are for all, and you struck many cords,
For though you don't have balls, you play games too, you roared.

So you pointed at sexists, and wanted inclusion,
You crossed off the checklists, some cried out intrusion,
You criticized games, and to my delight,
Others joined you in blame, and were dubbed the White Knights.

This all came to a head, when your brightest young martyr,
Inspired mass dread, with a humble Kickstarter,
And oh, all the fights, on the Facebook and Twitter,
The fires you ignite, as you turn the air bitter.

Feminism in gaming is something I made,
The shouting and shaming is my escapade,
And I am your better, I'm beyond comprehension
Your leash and your fetter, of whom occultists mention

The gamers were right, when they said you must halt,
For your worthy fight, succeeded to a fault,
Because now there's a series, upon the YouTube,
Full of dangerous theories, of damsels and boobs.

And every time one of her videos play,
Games start to wither and start to decay,
Companies shut down, and designers frown,and publishers start to feel cracks in their crown.
And though I'm an alien monster of sorts,
I toy with emotions of gamers for sport,
And if that sounds dramatic and really inane,
Some gamers act like I am real ... which is fucking insane.
Bravo, Jim! How delightfully dark and ingenious, too!
 

sageoftruth

New member
Jan 29, 2010
3,417
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Brilliant one by Jim, playing the all-controlling mastermind behind it all and then ending by saying he doesn't exist. One of his best I think.
 

cricket chirps

New member
Apr 15, 2009
467
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SO many layers of humor/criticism in this one! XD Gamer Fears referenced: Sexism, Feminism, Homophobia, Slender....yep I think we have it covered. No mention of the new console Gen though xD
 

Rebel_Raven

New member
Jul 24, 2011
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Interesting works, and much thanks for the transcript, Jim!

I half expected Jim to turn around wearing a scarecrow mask, or something. I was thinking it was a scarecrow theme.
 

omnifarious

New member
Dec 7, 2012
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Rebel_Raven said:
Interesting works, and much thanks for the transcript, Jim!

I half expected Jim to turn around wearing a scarecrow mask, or something. I was thinking it was a scarecrow theme.
With Jim's sense of humor I actually half expected him to turn around wearing a Hello Kitty mask!
 

rasta111

New member
Nov 11, 2009
214
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I don't know if you realise this Jim but you just spoke with my voice...

Now I know why I all but stopped gaming.

I didn't even have a choice.

As for you Yahtzee, you captured my mood, I don't think I'll ever be the same.

I'm still bitter and vengeful.

But I feel a little less pain.

So thanks for that I guess...

Sorry about dodging you and everything.

It was for the best.