When I was (a lot) younger and first encountered this here Internet thing, I saw a lot of gruesome material. I spent an inordinate amount of time on rotten.com and sites like it, looking at pictures of dismembered corpses smeared on tarmac. I didn't see the events taking place moments before the photographs were taken but I saw the aftermath in those pictures, and much of my late twenties was spent finding ever more disturbing pictures. I guess I had a stronger stomach back then.
But that supposedly stronger stomach didn't last forever. I also saw the footage of the murder of Daniel Pearl. To this day I wish I hadn't.
A few weeks ago, I watched someone die while I was eating my lunch. The cafeteria television was tuned to BBC News 24, which was showing some airborne footage of a missile striking a moving vehicle. There was lots of smoke and fire and the explosion looked very cool, well, as cool as some infra-red footage can... until I remembered that someone died in that explosion. Whether or not the occupants of the vehicle were terrorists, enemy combatants, or even allies wrongly targeted yet again, was immaterial. Footage of someone dying was considered by the BBC's programmers to be acceptable lunchtime viewing. No, we didn't see a close-up of the charred, dismembered corpses in the smoking remains of the vehicle, but they died all the same.
I thought I'd be able to watch this week's Jimquisition all the way through, but I couldn't do it. I got all the way to 1:20 before I changed my mind. I skipped forward to 1:49, because I simply didn't want to watch someone die again. I'm aware that people die, have seen people die, and one day I'll die too, but I don't want to watch the moment of death. And I especially don't want to watch the moment of death if it's in as brutal a manner as Dwyer's or Pearl's.
Far from being desensitised to violence, my own reaction has swung the other way over the years. It still won't stop me racking up the headshots in whatever blood-spattered game takes my fancy this week but, as Sterling has already point out, I can tell the difference. Bring on the cartoon violence, but I really don't want to watch the real thing.
None of this should be taken as a plea for censorship, though. The only censor whose opinion is worth anything is me. If I don't want to watch something then there's an Off button, and Jim Sterling and The Escapist should be commended for presenting the Dwyer footage in the way they did: "If you continue to watch this, you will see someone commit suicide. Skip to 1:49 to avoid seeing it." or words to that effect. No sugar coating, no coy adverts-disguised-as-warnings such as the legendary red triangles shown before "adult" programmes back when I was a kid, just the bare, unvarnished truth, just like (I assume; I didn't watch it) the footage itself. It's horrible, and should remain so; if we trivialise real violence then that might be what desensitises us.