Jimquisition: The Shi!*iest Games of 2013
- Thread starter Jimothy Sterling
- Start date
It's actually pretty simple. A bad game is one you quit in disgust after a level or two because you can't take it anymore. A boring game is one where you stop playing after a level or two because you just don't care. So you just rate it based on how far you got before you stopped playing. 1 being a game you finish and 10 being a game where you get bored before the end of the first level/episode/chapter/whatever.Casual Shinji said:
Glad to see Army of 2 up there. Glad to see that it wasn't just "lolthisseriessucks."
I enjoyed TFD. It was far from an excellent game, but it was an enjoyable fun one. TDC was...I don't even know what to call it.
I don't even know most of the games on this list, though.
His review makes it sound like a good number of non-free "freemium" games, which in turn makes it sound like he's only butthurt because it's Star Trek. Which sounds like our Joe.
I enjoyed TFD. It was far from an excellent game, but it was an enjoyable fun one. TDC was...I don't even know what to call it.
I don't even know most of the games on this list, though.
Yes,a unfunny parody of Hollywood bipolar disorder might end up exaggerating his claims once in a while. Or always.babinro said:
His review makes it sound like a good number of non-free "freemium" games, which in turn makes it sound like he's only butthurt because it's Star Trek. Which sounds like our Joe.
Yeah, I'm surprised that didn't make the list as well. The whole thing was a mess--and it still all hasn't been fixed yet AFAIK.Mahoshonen said:
I was looking forward to this, and it did not disappoint. I knew what most of the "winners" were going to be, especially the number one spot, but I wanted to hear Jim rant more about Final Fantasy: All the Bravest.
The only surprise I had was honestly seeing Knack. Not that it didn't deserve it, it is just comparatively mediocre to me compared to games like Loco Cycle which I found to be just awful.
The only surprise I had was honestly seeing Knack. Not that it didn't deserve it, it is just comparatively mediocre to me compared to games like Loco Cycle which I found to be just awful.
I can't believe I didn't even know about All the Bravest, I mean wow..
That game is officially the harbinger of the kind of end that the Video Games industry is stumbling toward, a massive crash brought on by their own incalculable arrogance and stupidity.
That game is officially the harbinger of the kind of end that the Video Games industry is stumbling toward, a massive crash brought on by their own incalculable arrogance and stupidity.
I'm on the Sim City band Wagon. In a age where the internetz is dominate for a game to show just how poorly always on DRM is Sim City is a martyr. The game reeks of EA want and desire to capitalize their franchises in an effort purely to sell micro transactions.
Any chance Jim can do a shittiest AAA's of 2013?
Any chance Jim can do a shittiest AAA's of 2013?
I honestly thought Jim was going to hyperventilate and pass out at some point (that would be a fun one for the blooper reel).
I will also express some surprise at how the appallingly bad Sim City wasn't on here, but I can't think of anything to remove from the list, either. Also, I totally agree with that final fantasy game being #1.
I will also express some surprise at how the appallingly bad Sim City wasn't on here, but I can't think of anything to remove from the list, either. Also, I totally agree with that final fantasy game being #1.
Kudos for being comprehensible behind that gas mask, but boy, did it sound like it was uncomfortable to breathe in that thing.
I had only heard of about two-thirds of the list, so I suspect I'm probably safe from its clutches. I have this weird, masochistic urge to pick up Road to Hell if it Steam-sale-crashes hard enough, but after Duke Nukem Forever, perhaps I can restrain that urge.
I had only heard of about two-thirds of the list, so I suspect I'm probably safe from its clutches. I have this weird, masochistic urge to pick up Road to Hell if it Steam-sale-crashes hard enough, but after Duke Nukem Forever, perhaps I can restrain that urge.
Ken's Rage 2 sucking is disappointing. I bought it and the first one last week because of how much Jim goes on about Dynasty Warriors. I figured that since I love Fist of the North Star and enjoyed Sengoku Basarai (SP?) that it would be a good purchase.
I think the game pretty much shows off that some people just shouldn't be in charge, regardless of their contributions. Cerny's a lovely individual, he's had his hands in countless beloved IPs, I love his energy for making games, I still don't mind him offering his support for any game dev that wants it. BUT... he's not director material. Keep him as a designer, a programmer, hell even a producer, something he has experience in. I feel he had too much creative control in Knack, and wanted to make something I can only call Retcon Retro, something seriously old-school with a new coat of paint. I just don't think you can do that with platformers anymore, because for that genre 'retro' is just a nice way of saying 'simple', which doesn't work like it did in 1996.gigantor21 said:
I see him in a similar situation as Tetsuya Nomura from Squeenix. Tetsuya's done such good work for that company, but as soon as he started getting work as Creative Producer or Director in their games, his titles have been AWFUL. Hell, he's the Creative Producer for All The Bravest. He's got serious credentials, but the man is a character designer by trade. This is why Atlus is doing so well, because they keep people like Shigenori Soejima, Shoji Meguro, and Kazuma Kaneko where they do their best work.
When I first read about ATB, I quite literally facepalmed. I mean, we gamers are pretty much inured to barely-disguised cash-grabs by now, but this game didn't even bother to attempt the "disguise" part, and basically came right out and said "It's Final Fantasy, now give us your money".ShirowShirow said:
I don't see what's wrong with shitting on a game like that once in a while, but I also can't see a justification for Jim Sterling using multiple spots on his list just for "HEY, IOS, YOUR GAMES BLOW". Decent chance all the bravest only got a spot because it was made by a real established publisher and not some shitty IOS dev. I mean the game has an average metacritic user score of 1.8, the highest review is a 10 saying "This AMAZINGLY FLAWLESS MASTERPIECE IS THE BEST! Money disposal simulator.", the game is probably about as awful as Joe says it is. If Jim went off that though, he could probably fill the whole list with IOS games.Zachary Amaranth said:
Whew, there was a lot of crap this year! I guess Jim had to use the mask to breath comfortably through all that stink. I forgot there was a second shitty Aliens game this year, and for good reason it seems.
I am going to be that person but I really enjoyed Knack I found it fun in its simplicity and it brought back nostalgia feelings of psone era. while not a game of the year I would not not call it shit imo.
Everything else was on point especially that square enix money sink the video game which I will give them credit it takes a pretty big pair to shovel out that obvious of a cash grab knowing how much fanbase is pissed at you. They better not mess with my KH3 or there will be blood.
Everything else was on point especially that square enix money sink the video game which I will give them credit it takes a pretty big pair to shovel out that obvious of a cash grab knowing how much fanbase is pissed at you. They better not mess with my KH3 or there will be blood.