I can just see the news report when this hits the shelves:
"Reporter: I'm here at EB where customers have been queueing around the block for 8 hours to buy the newest game, SportF**ker Unlimited. The game simulates picking girls up in a bar, driving them home and nailing them before sneaking out of their apartment unnoticed and heading off in search of beer, beef products and other men to bond with.
I managed to speak with a couple of the young men queueing here and here's what they had to say.
Obese Neckbeard: Yeah, so I've been waiting for this for a while. I used to give all my money to women I met online who turned out to be men who just had a female WoW avatar. Now I get to stay home all day, cum my brains out and earn acheivements. Thank you, Microsoft!
Reporter: The SportF**ker Unlimited game pack for the Kinect comes with a specially modified fleshlight peripheral, which adjusts tightness, lubrication and vibration speed depending on the difficulty level of the game and the user's foreplay skills. It is reported to cost at least the price of the console itself, although unconfirmed speculation says that the pack is being scalped on ebay at 3 times its retail price by customers who wish to remain anonymous in their purchase of interactive sex toys.
A special pressure sensor inside the peripheral detects ejaculation and triggers a mechanism inside the kinect console which takes a picture of the user's vinegar face. When asked about what these photos would be used for, Bill Gates simply smiled and said the pictures were part of a plan to ensure customer retention.
Analysts give the human race 60 years, tops.
Back to you in the studio."
