Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum
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yep, we can learn 'em to come knockin on our door askin' for us to cut down no damn trees.Irridium said:
elves only have one use: giant eagles. get a breeding pair then slaughter all of them after that.
EDIT: in other news, immigrant waves are smaller if merchants leave with smaller profits.
side note: I've just genned a new world. It's the elven age. my world is FILLED with those little bastards. ah well, at least I have a higher chance of getting a pair of giant eagles now
I had a chair covered in spikes. I swear, toady must love spikes. loads of spiked ropes, beds chairs, rings... jesus. anyone visiting a fortress which has had 3000 strange moods would be cut to ribbons upon entering.sharpshot said:
the dwarven kings would kick arse in a wrestling match then.Engarde said:
the goblin hit urist mcking
the goblin's hand has been torn apart!
urist mcking laughs and says '*****, I wear anti-punch armor!'
LOLvallorn said:
+1
Chapter 87: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul
__________________________________________________
1st Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
Well I talked to all the new migrants and they're...well...I guess you could say that they're not exactly the finest minds of our generation. I mean they somehow managed to be even less useful than the last batch of migrants. The only one among them with any notable skills to speak of was a dwarf who claims to be called "Snip Snip". She has a rather...odd obsession with cutting.
She has minor combat skills, so I had her fill the gap left in the Immortal Rags. Other than that, none of the dwarves had any talent whatsoever to speak of. Disappointing, but they'll still find a home here in Reveredtour. I just hope they are content with the life of a mason.
7th Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
Rather than butcher all of the livestock's offspring like usual, the mechanics have finally started to train some of them into war animals. War animals aren't as powerful as trained soldiers, but that does not mean they can't be immensely helpful in providing support for our brave soldiers. Like that dog that saved Rabid from the zombie cave spider. That's the kind of animals we need helping our soldiers!
Of course the program is mostly limited to kruelers and elk birds at the moment. If only we had some more powerful animals. If Ingiz had a mate we could train an army of voracious cave crawlers! Shame they're so rare.
15th Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
I have to say, things have been pretty dull around here. Nothing of even minor note has occurred this month, so once again I have a ton of free time and am not really sure what to do with it. So I decided I'd take this opportunity to learn more about some of the dwarves living here. It's important for a leader to stay connected with her people, and it might allow me to learn ways to improve the fort.
I figured Aidinthel would be a good dwarf to talk to. He's been here quite a while yet I don't really know much about him, despite being Root's Husband. Surely he must have some valuable insight into life in Reveredtour and what could be done to improve it.
Aidinthel: "What the hell makes you think I know anything about improving this place?"
Stinthad: "Um, well I don't know. I mean you're Root's husband so maybe-"
Aidinthel: "And why the fuck does that matter? You think just because she's this great soldier means I by extension must have something important to contribute as well?"
Stinthad: "Well, I guess not..."
Aidinthel: "Yeah, and let me tell you that I get reminded of that every time I talk to her. Every god damn day she tells me how I'm a worthless mason that can't do shit. And she wonders why I drink so much."
Stinthad: "You sound kind of angry."
Aidinthel: "'Kind of angry'? Wow, you must be a god damn genius if you were able to pick up on that! Holy shit, let's get you a medal! Round of applause for the genius here!"
Stinthad: "You don't have to be so rude! I didn't mean to make you mad...why do you not like your own wife anyways?"
Aidinthel: "You mean aside from her berating me every damn day? I have my reasons. To be brief, she was a lot sweeter 20 years ago. Unfortunately times change. Let's just leave it at that."
Stinthad: "Okay th-"
Aidintehl: "Actually wait, I will tell you one thing; I want you to imagine when a soldier who insists on using a dozen layers of blood as body armor wants to have sex. Just enjoy that mental picture, because once a month that's my fucking reality."
Okay you know what fuck this plan. I don't want to learn about anybody else right now. God damn what the hell
23rd Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
I have once again restarted the zombie defense program. We're going back to just placing the cages outside and linking them to a single lever rather than shove all the zombies into one cage. I don't want to risk another incident like the release of the zombie cave spider. I doubt this will be very effective against the goblins at this point, since they are arriving in such huge numbers. However there are simply to many zombies sitting in the cage stockpile, doing nothing but moaning and spreading miasma. Might as well get rid of them in a way that could be somewhat helpful.
27th Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
Oh god not this again. One of the cooks just let out a horrible scream. At first I thought it was just a terrible accident, but then he ran out of the kitchen yelling like a lunatic and throwing unprocessed elf bird fat at random dwarves. Once again Goden forbids taking actions against him, as we would be interfering with a greater power. What greater power commands a dwarf to go around throwing fat? I just hope he doesn't decide to use something more dangerous.
__________________________________________________
Why yes, I do remember that I have an LP I should be updating. Hopefully will get more than one damn update done this week.
__________________________________________________
1st Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
Well I talked to all the new migrants and they're...well...I guess you could say that they're not exactly the finest minds of our generation. I mean they somehow managed to be even less useful than the last batch of migrants. The only one among them with any notable skills to speak of was a dwarf who claims to be called "Snip Snip". She has a rather...odd obsession with cutting.
She has minor combat skills, so I had her fill the gap left in the Immortal Rags. Other than that, none of the dwarves had any talent whatsoever to speak of. Disappointing, but they'll still find a home here in Reveredtour. I just hope they are content with the life of a mason.
7th Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
Rather than butcher all of the livestock's offspring like usual, the mechanics have finally started to train some of them into war animals. War animals aren't as powerful as trained soldiers, but that does not mean they can't be immensely helpful in providing support for our brave soldiers. Like that dog that saved Rabid from the zombie cave spider. That's the kind of animals we need helping our soldiers!
Of course the program is mostly limited to kruelers and elk birds at the moment. If only we had some more powerful animals. If Ingiz had a mate we could train an army of voracious cave crawlers! Shame they're so rare.
15th Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
I have to say, things have been pretty dull around here. Nothing of even minor note has occurred this month, so once again I have a ton of free time and am not really sure what to do with it. So I decided I'd take this opportunity to learn more about some of the dwarves living here. It's important for a leader to stay connected with her people, and it might allow me to learn ways to improve the fort.
I figured Aidinthel would be a good dwarf to talk to. He's been here quite a while yet I don't really know much about him, despite being Root's Husband. Surely he must have some valuable insight into life in Reveredtour and what could be done to improve it.
Aidinthel: "What the hell makes you think I know anything about improving this place?"
Stinthad: "Um, well I don't know. I mean you're Root's husband so maybe-"
Aidinthel: "And why the fuck does that matter? You think just because she's this great soldier means I by extension must have something important to contribute as well?"
Stinthad: "Well, I guess not..."
Aidinthel: "Yeah, and let me tell you that I get reminded of that every time I talk to her. Every god damn day she tells me how I'm a worthless mason that can't do shit. And she wonders why I drink so much."
Stinthad: "You sound kind of angry."
Aidinthel: "'Kind of angry'? Wow, you must be a god damn genius if you were able to pick up on that! Holy shit, let's get you a medal! Round of applause for the genius here!"
Stinthad: "You don't have to be so rude! I didn't mean to make you mad...why do you not like your own wife anyways?"
Aidinthel: "You mean aside from her berating me every damn day? I have my reasons. To be brief, she was a lot sweeter 20 years ago. Unfortunately times change. Let's just leave it at that."
Stinthad: "Okay th-"
Aidintehl: "Actually wait, I will tell you one thing; I want you to imagine when a soldier who insists on using a dozen layers of blood as body armor wants to have sex. Just enjoy that mental picture, because once a month that's my fucking reality."
Okay you know what fuck this plan. I don't want to learn about anybody else right now. God damn what the hell
23rd Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
I have once again restarted the zombie defense program. We're going back to just placing the cages outside and linking them to a single lever rather than shove all the zombies into one cage. I don't want to risk another incident like the release of the zombie cave spider. I doubt this will be very effective against the goblins at this point, since they are arriving in such huge numbers. However there are simply to many zombies sitting in the cage stockpile, doing nothing but moaning and spreading miasma. Might as well get rid of them in a way that could be somewhat helpful.
27th Malachite, 1057, Mid-Summer
Oh god not this again. One of the cooks just let out a horrible scream. At first I thought it was just a terrible accident, but then he ran out of the kitchen yelling like a lunatic and throwing unprocessed elf bird fat at random dwarves. Once again Goden forbids taking actions against him, as we would be interfering with a greater power. What greater power commands a dwarf to go around throwing fat? I just hope he doesn't decide to use something more dangerous.
__________________________________________________
Why yes, I do remember that I have an LP I should be updating. Hopefully will get more than one damn update done this week.
Regardless its good to see updates again and I wonder what the possession will end up doing to that cook. Its maddening that you get all the interesting fey moods, the only ones I've had in my fortress and I'm up to 8 of them now, is the dwarf loses his mind stops moving, eating or drinking and then dies
being controlled, presumably.The_root_of_all_evil said:
take your bets! 1000:1 that it'll be covered in spikes!
he didn't say you were useful, just more useful.
meaning you won't be destined for hauling! hooray! ;P
meaning you won't be destined for hauling! hooray! ;P
could we have another look at the list of people wanting to be dorfed? I'm curious as to who wants to be one.
(and how far from the top I am )
(and how far from the top I am
)only if you give us the exact decimal value of pi GL with that.Shootandrun said:
[/endjk]
TBH this is the best non-video LP ever, and it probably surpasses all of the vidoe ones.