In my opinion, if a story portrays elves as anything but a bunch of pretentious fuckers, then they are not really elves.Aidinthel said:
Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum
- Thread starter Internet Kraken
- Start date
I laughed. An Elven Caravan. How excellent, loving this series, quite admiriable how you pinned teleporting trogs onto that darn backstabber!
Also, I have tried DF, and have played for an hour or two, and have not seen a single living creature beyond my starting dwarfs. I also nearly drowned a couple of said dwarfs when breaking into a lake to muddy up a room for farming.
Also, I have tried DF, and have played for an hour or two, and have not seen a single living creature beyond my starting dwarfs. I also nearly drowned a couple of said dwarfs when breaking into a lake to muddy up a room for farming.
...
You actually inspired me to start a new fortress awhile back myself, and I just noticed the... the strangest and possibly creepiest thing I've ever seen in Dwarf Fortress. I thought I'd seen it all, but now I have to wonder how many other quirky little possibilities I've missed.
Ever seen that 90' romantic flick called Ghost with Patrick Swayze, the one with the dead guys ghost trying to protect his still living girlfriend? Yeah... I got that going on in my fortress. Seriously. There's this little chubby goth-dwarf, low self esteem but tons of enthusiasm, who's job is as a bone carver (Go figure!). Anyway...
Yeah, she sleeps with her dead husbands ghost who occasionally pops up to haunt my fortress lower levels. I didn't even know that was possible. Creepiest part? She's happier than ever, and the daughter is cheery that she sees her father every once and awhile.
God I love this little game. Anyway, sorry to interrupt, back to the main story!
You actually inspired me to start a new fortress awhile back myself, and I just noticed the... the strangest and possibly creepiest thing I've ever seen in Dwarf Fortress. I thought I'd seen it all, but now I have to wonder how many other quirky little possibilities I've missed.
Ever seen that 90' romantic flick called Ghost with Patrick Swayze, the one with the dead guys ghost trying to protect his still living girlfriend? Yeah... I got that going on in my fortress. Seriously. There's this little chubby goth-dwarf, low self esteem but tons of enthusiasm, who's job is as a bone carver (Go figure!). Anyway...
Yeah, she sleeps with her dead husbands ghost who occasionally pops up to haunt my fortress lower levels. I didn't even know that was possible. Creepiest part? She's happier than ever, and the daughter is cheery that she sees her father every once and awhile.
God I love this little game. Anyway, sorry to interrupt, back to the main story!
That seems odd. Some embarks have more animals than others, but I've never heard of one completley devoid of life. Even terrifying glaciers will send polar bears and yetis to raid your fortress.Engarde said:
Bah, elephants are weak now. Skeletal elephants on the other hand, will fuck your shit up.vallorn said:
Also probably not going to be an update today on account of me having to go to an appointment during my normal writing time.
Well a bigger influence in how many creatures spawn is if you ar ein a benign, neutral, or savage zones. Benign areas are incredibly safe, containing only weak creatures that don't spawn often. Savage areas have more dangerous creatures that spawn consistently.Engarde said:
So I'm guessing you embarked in a benign area, hence the lack of animals.
Chapter 21: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul
__________________________________________________
19th Felsite, 1052, Late Spring
Oh I'm so glad to be back to writing in this journal again! I've been miserable for the past few months, but I've gotten over it now. Rather than dwell on the death of Dishmab and the others, I'm instead going to everything I can to make sure they are not forgotten. Of course, I needed to regain my position as leader to do that. Fortunately, Goden gave it up without any resistance, which surprised me. Well actually I asked her last week and she just waved her weird hammer in front of my face, so I stopped bothering her. But today she said I could be in charge again! Apparently she "doesn't want to deal with elven nonsense", and is busy with an "internal threat" that requires her full attention. Not sure what she means by that, but best not to ask I suppose. I don't see why the other dwarves hate the elves so much. Sure, the ones that are part of the Luxurious Snakes are a bunch of jerks, but not all elves are the same!
Kraken's notes: Elves are one of the 4 major civilizations, and are usually regarded as the most irritating. Despite being around the same size as dwarves, elves hold themselves as being superior due to their belief system. Elves believe that living in harmony with nature is the epitome of civilization, and that any civilization that does not do so is misguided. Also, they're cannibals.
Despite their arrogance, elves are still willing to trade with dwarves, provided you confirm to their beliefs. Elves refuse to purchase any products made out of wood, and even offering them to the elves offends them so deeply that they will refuse to trade with you for the year. On top of this, elves may send diplomats who will demand that you limit the number of trees you cut down. The typical response to this is either to ignore them or chop their head off. Despite all their boasting elves are generally pathetic in combat, as they only use wooden equipment.
The sole incentive to tolerate the elves is that they may bring you rare animals, such as giant desert scorpions. Many of these animals will be unavailable in your embark site, so elves may be your only source of them.
I think. It looks like these merchants are from the Intricacy of Praises, which is a civilization in the far north. Well, at least from the Relieved Craft's capital. They're actually really close to us here at Reveredtour. Never met northern elves before, but I'm sure they're really nice! I mean, they play some good music! Haven't heard music like this in a long time, on account of it being outlawed by general Rithrisen.
20th Felsite, 1052, Late Spring
The Elves arrived earlier than I had anticipated. I was still writing in this journal when they entered the fort!
I wanted to give them a proper greeting, but much to my dismay it seems that Momuz had been standing at the entrance waiting for them. He decided it was best to show our hospitality by demanding they stop playing their music under the threat of death, and then confiscated their instruments. He took said instruments and chucked them into the ocean. Hardly the best way to welcome the elves. I'd complain to him about it, but that is standard procedure for diplomacy with elves, according to the laws set by general Rithrisen. Still, I couldn't help but feel disappointed.
Stinthad: "Aw, I liked listening to that music."
I made this comment offhand, but apparently another dwarf had heard it. A new recruit by the name of Medtob Erithidok.
Erithidok: "You like elven music to? How nice. It's rare to meet a dwarf who has appreciation for foreign arts."
She seemed nice enough, so I figured a conversation with her would be a good change of pace.
Stinthad: "Well, I don't really know much about elves, but I just thought that music sounded good."
Erithidok: "You should really consider learning more about elves. They are truly a wonderful species, much more elegant and graceful than those human ruffians or savage goblins. In some ways, they are even more pleasant than us dwarves."
Stinthad: "Uh, what do you mean?"
Erithidok: "Spend a year living in a forest retreat, and you'll know what I mean. Elves live in harmony with nature. They spread peace and love to all those willing to listen to them. Their wonderful culture will invoke feelings you've never had before. You will find yourself in a trance, swept up in the wonders of their civilization. And suddenly you'll find yourself lying in a grassy field on a cool summer night, running your hand through an elves smooth hair..."
At this point what I thought would be a pleasant conversation became incredibly awkward.
Stinthad: "I should really be going-"
Erithidok: "At first it feels wrong. You'll want to reject these feelings. But soon you realize that what you are experiencing one of the most incredible things imaginable. And as you embrace an elf out in the open you-"
Momuz: "What the hell are you talking about!?!"
Apparently Erithidok didn't realize that Momuz had been listening the whole time. He ordered her to remain in the barracks while the elves were here. I feel a bit sorry for her, but I'm glad Momuz spoke up when he did. I had already heard more than I needed to.
I'll try not to think about this when I go to talk with the merchants.
26th Felsite, 1052, Late Spring
Their merchants had finished unloading their goods and were ready to trade, so it was time to meet with them at the trade depot. Originally I thought we would trade without incident, but I'm starting to realize that nothing is ever that simple.
The elves seemed to be nice enough at first.
Stinthad: "Hello Bethaferi! My name is Stinthad Kekimtobul, and I welcome you to Reveredtour. Uh, I apologize for the behavior of our militia commander. He isn't used to dealing with Elves and-"
Bethaferi: "No need to explain. We know of your sour relations with our estranged brothers in the south. Disrespect for our culture is what we've come to expect from Relieved Craft dwarves."
I got the feeling he wasn't exactly pleased with us right now. The other merchant was more understanding.
Coruromimi: "Tira, you're being rude. We should welcome these dwarves, despite their obvious prejudice. They will be great allies in our war against the Spiders of Stability!"
Stinthad: "Pardon?"
Bethaferi: "The goblins to the east of course. They've been a blight upon us for centuries. I'm surprised they haven't attacked you yet."
This worried me, though I guess it was to be expected. Reveredtour couldn't have possibly escaped their notice forever.
Bethaferi: "Regardless, let us trade for now. We've brought along a variety of different goods, though I'm sure you shall be only interested in alcohol and tools of war."
To be fair this was an accurate assessment, as I purchased several barrels of exotic booze from them.
Bethaferi: "Well, that went about as expected. Now that you have your precious alcohol, we'll just be going."
I was about to bid them farewell, when noticed that the elves had brought along several caged animals. Originally the cages had been buried under several piles of cloth, so I hadn't seen them.
Stinthad: "Hold on, are those animals for sale?"
Bethaferi: "Oh, you noticed them. Well, I suppose, but I don't think there's anything you can offer us that would motivate me to give you these gentle creatures."
Coruromimi: "Actually, perhaps we can work something out. Tira, remember that conversation we had upon arriving?"
Bethaferi: "I think it would be in our best interest not to bring that up."
Coruromimi: "Oh there's no harm in asking! This Stinthad seems like a kind, open-minded person. Look, we couldn't help but notice the, um, bodies lying near the entrance."
I was horribly embarrassed by this. I hadn't thought about how this would look to outsiders.
Stinthad: "Oh dear, look I know it's terrible that they're just lying there. I've been meaning to give them proper burial but-"
Coruromimi: "Please, we understand. Rather than chastise you for this, we are instead interested in "purchasing" these bodies."
Stinthad: "Uh, what?"
Coruromimi: "I mean, it's such a shame to let such perfectly good meat and bones go to waste..."
Stinthad: "You want to eat them!?!"
Coruromimi: "Eat isn't the right word; it carries a negative connotation in this conversation. We prefer to use the term "organic recycling".
I was taken aback by this, and resisting the urge to retch. The merchants then noticed that several dwarves had overheard this exchange and were quite offended, particularly Goden.
Goden: "Get out. Now."
Coruromimi: "Uh, what if we sweetened the deal with some "special crop"? The harvest just came in, excellent quality this year-"
Goden: "Out."
Coruromimi: "Er, alight! You know what? Just take the animals free of charge! We don't need them! Come on Tira, let's get out of here!"
I couldn't stand to be around them much longer, but I heard the other dwarves yelling at them as they left the fort.
Bethaferi: "You ignorant savages have no idea what being civilized really is! I hope the goblins tear you apart! And your engravings suck to! You call that art?"
Momuz: "Sod of tree lover!"
Why can't things ever be nice?
1st Hematite, 1052, Early Summer
I've been receiving a lot of complaints about the heat, which means that spring is over and summer has come. I've been trying to keep the incident with the elves out of my mind, so I figured it would help to document some of the changes made to Reveredtour. Overall, I'm pleased with its progress. Goden was surprisingly dedicated to my original vision with her advancements. For example, she followed my orders to move the dormitories outside, beneath the dining hall.
Stonesense Version [http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/2748/sleepsense.png]
I've also noticed that the amount of food being produced greatly exceeds the amount of space dedicated to storage. A lot of food is just going to rot out in the blistering sun if room isn't made for it. Hence I have mandated the construction of an additional food stockpile above the first one.
Stonesense Version [http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/1324/foodsense.png]
Momuz also seems to have done a great job protecting Reveredtour. The first few deaths here at Reveredtour appear to have hardened his resolve, and so far I have yet to be disappointed with him. But I still worry about him, as the military lacks quality equipment. Hopefully we will be able to correct that issue soon.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
19th Felsite, 1052, Late Spring
Oh I'm so glad to be back to writing in this journal again! I've been miserable for the past few months, but I've gotten over it now. Rather than dwell on the death of Dishmab and the others, I'm instead going to everything I can to make sure they are not forgotten. Of course, I needed to regain my position as leader to do that. Fortunately, Goden gave it up without any resistance, which surprised me. Well actually I asked her last week and she just waved her weird hammer in front of my face, so I stopped bothering her. But today she said I could be in charge again! Apparently she "doesn't want to deal with elven nonsense", and is busy with an "internal threat" that requires her full attention. Not sure what she means by that, but best not to ask I suppose. I don't see why the other dwarves hate the elves so much. Sure, the ones that are part of the Luxurious Snakes are a bunch of jerks, but not all elves are the same!
Despite their arrogance, elves are still willing to trade with dwarves, provided you confirm to their beliefs. Elves refuse to purchase any products made out of wood, and even offering them to the elves offends them so deeply that they will refuse to trade with you for the year. On top of this, elves may send diplomats who will demand that you limit the number of trees you cut down. The typical response to this is either to ignore them or chop their head off. Despite all their boasting elves are generally pathetic in combat, as they only use wooden equipment.
The sole incentive to tolerate the elves is that they may bring you rare animals, such as giant desert scorpions. Many of these animals will be unavailable in your embark site, so elves may be your only source of them.
I think. It looks like these merchants are from the Intricacy of Praises, which is a civilization in the far north. Well, at least from the Relieved Craft's capital. They're actually really close to us here at Reveredtour. Never met northern elves before, but I'm sure they're really nice! I mean, they play some good music! Haven't heard music like this in a long time, on account of it being outlawed by general Rithrisen.
20th Felsite, 1052, Late Spring
The Elves arrived earlier than I had anticipated. I was still writing in this journal when they entered the fort!
I wanted to give them a proper greeting, but much to my dismay it seems that Momuz had been standing at the entrance waiting for them. He decided it was best to show our hospitality by demanding they stop playing their music under the threat of death, and then confiscated their instruments. He took said instruments and chucked them into the ocean. Hardly the best way to welcome the elves. I'd complain to him about it, but that is standard procedure for diplomacy with elves, according to the laws set by general Rithrisen. Still, I couldn't help but feel disappointed.
Stinthad: "Aw, I liked listening to that music."
I made this comment offhand, but apparently another dwarf had heard it. A new recruit by the name of Medtob Erithidok.
Erithidok: "You like elven music to? How nice. It's rare to meet a dwarf who has appreciation for foreign arts."
She seemed nice enough, so I figured a conversation with her would be a good change of pace.
Stinthad: "Well, I don't really know much about elves, but I just thought that music sounded good."
Erithidok: "You should really consider learning more about elves. They are truly a wonderful species, much more elegant and graceful than those human ruffians or savage goblins. In some ways, they are even more pleasant than us dwarves."
Stinthad: "Uh, what do you mean?"
Erithidok: "Spend a year living in a forest retreat, and you'll know what I mean. Elves live in harmony with nature. They spread peace and love to all those willing to listen to them. Their wonderful culture will invoke feelings you've never had before. You will find yourself in a trance, swept up in the wonders of their civilization. And suddenly you'll find yourself lying in a grassy field on a cool summer night, running your hand through an elves smooth hair..."
At this point what I thought would be a pleasant conversation became incredibly awkward.
Stinthad: "I should really be going-"
Erithidok: "At first it feels wrong. You'll want to reject these feelings. But soon you realize that what you are experiencing one of the most incredible things imaginable. And as you embrace an elf out in the open you-"
Momuz: "What the hell are you talking about!?!"
Apparently Erithidok didn't realize that Momuz had been listening the whole time. He ordered her to remain in the barracks while the elves were here. I feel a bit sorry for her, but I'm glad Momuz spoke up when he did. I had already heard more than I needed to.
I'll try not to think about this when I go to talk with the merchants.
26th Felsite, 1052, Late Spring
Their merchants had finished unloading their goods and were ready to trade, so it was time to meet with them at the trade depot. Originally I thought we would trade without incident, but I'm starting to realize that nothing is ever that simple.
The elves seemed to be nice enough at first.
Stinthad: "Hello Bethaferi! My name is Stinthad Kekimtobul, and I welcome you to Reveredtour. Uh, I apologize for the behavior of our militia commander. He isn't used to dealing with Elves and-"
Bethaferi: "No need to explain. We know of your sour relations with our estranged brothers in the south. Disrespect for our culture is what we've come to expect from Relieved Craft dwarves."
I got the feeling he wasn't exactly pleased with us right now. The other merchant was more understanding.
Coruromimi: "Tira, you're being rude. We should welcome these dwarves, despite their obvious prejudice. They will be great allies in our war against the Spiders of Stability!"
Stinthad: "Pardon?"
Bethaferi: "The goblins to the east of course. They've been a blight upon us for centuries. I'm surprised they haven't attacked you yet."
This worried me, though I guess it was to be expected. Reveredtour couldn't have possibly escaped their notice forever.
Bethaferi: "Regardless, let us trade for now. We've brought along a variety of different goods, though I'm sure you shall be only interested in alcohol and tools of war."
To be fair this was an accurate assessment, as I purchased several barrels of exotic booze from them.
Bethaferi: "Well, that went about as expected. Now that you have your precious alcohol, we'll just be going."
I was about to bid them farewell, when noticed that the elves had brought along several caged animals. Originally the cages had been buried under several piles of cloth, so I hadn't seen them.
Stinthad: "Hold on, are those animals for sale?"
Bethaferi: "Oh, you noticed them. Well, I suppose, but I don't think there's anything you can offer us that would motivate me to give you these gentle creatures."
Coruromimi: "Actually, perhaps we can work something out. Tira, remember that conversation we had upon arriving?"
Bethaferi: "I think it would be in our best interest not to bring that up."
Coruromimi: "Oh there's no harm in asking! This Stinthad seems like a kind, open-minded person. Look, we couldn't help but notice the, um, bodies lying near the entrance."
I was horribly embarrassed by this. I hadn't thought about how this would look to outsiders.
Stinthad: "Oh dear, look I know it's terrible that they're just lying there. I've been meaning to give them proper burial but-"
Coruromimi: "Please, we understand. Rather than chastise you for this, we are instead interested in "purchasing" these bodies."
Stinthad: "Uh, what?"
Coruromimi: "I mean, it's such a shame to let such perfectly good meat and bones go to waste..."
Stinthad: "You want to eat them!?!"
Coruromimi: "Eat isn't the right word; it carries a negative connotation in this conversation. We prefer to use the term "organic recycling".
I was taken aback by this, and resisting the urge to retch. The merchants then noticed that several dwarves had overheard this exchange and were quite offended, particularly Goden.
Goden: "Get out. Now."
Coruromimi: "Uh, what if we sweetened the deal with some "special crop"? The harvest just came in, excellent quality this year-"
Goden: "Out."
Coruromimi: "Er, alight! You know what? Just take the animals free of charge! We don't need them! Come on Tira, let's get out of here!"
I couldn't stand to be around them much longer, but I heard the other dwarves yelling at them as they left the fort.
Bethaferi: "You ignorant savages have no idea what being civilized really is! I hope the goblins tear you apart! And your engravings suck to! You call that art?"
Momuz: "Sod of tree lover!"
Why can't things ever be nice?
1st Hematite, 1052, Early Summer
I've been receiving a lot of complaints about the heat, which means that spring is over and summer has come. I've been trying to keep the incident with the elves out of my mind, so I figured it would help to document some of the changes made to Reveredtour. Overall, I'm pleased with its progress. Goden was surprisingly dedicated to my original vision with her advancements. For example, she followed my orders to move the dormitories outside, beneath the dining hall.
Stonesense Version [http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/2748/sleepsense.png]
I've also noticed that the amount of food being produced greatly exceeds the amount of space dedicated to storage. A lot of food is just going to rot out in the blistering sun if room isn't made for it. Hence I have mandated the construction of an additional food stockpile above the first one.
Stonesense Version [http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/1324/foodsense.png]
Momuz also seems to have done a great job protecting Reveredtour. The first few deaths here at Reveredtour appear to have hardened his resolve, and so far I have yet to be disappointed with him. But I still worry about him, as the military lacks quality equipment. Hopefully we will be able to correct that issue soon.
__________________________________________________
The ones in LOTR are actually not very annoying. Unfortunately, that didn't stick. Night elves in Warcraft are pretty okay guys, though.Aidinthel said:
Bastards. Kill commands work on traders, yes?
I've found guard animals pretty worthless in the 2010 version, except for spotting ambushes/thieves. War dogs don't stand a chance against an opponent with any sort of armor at all. Then again, I generally don't bother to try and buy breeding pairs of the exotic beasties, so I might be singing a different tune if I had a legion of eagles on my side.
With that in mind, elves are pretty much obsolete. You should delete them when they next swing 'round.
EDIT: Oh, 'ello! I see we've got a new user above. Welcome to the(forum name here) Escapist, (name here)!
I've found guard animals pretty worthless in the 2010 version, except for spotting ambushes/thieves. War dogs don't stand a chance against an opponent with any sort of armor at all. Then again, I generally don't bother to try and buy breeding pairs of the exotic beasties, so I might be singing a different tune if I had a legion of eagles on my side.
With that in mind, elves are pretty much obsolete. You should delete them when they next swing 'round.
EDIT: Oh, 'ello! I see we've got a new user above. Welcome to the
Well of course war dogs aren't going to crap to armored opponents. Their teeth aren't made out of iron. If you're relying on war dogs to do any real damage, you're using them the wrong way. War dogs are good as meat shields, and nothing else. If you want some powerful war beasts, you have to put effort into acquiring them. An army of voracious cave crawlers is nothing sneeze at.Chal said:
Subsequently, this is the only reason I let elves live usually. They occasionally bring you some incredibly useful animals, like giant desert scorpions or giant eagles. I don't hesitate to test my traps on them though or seize all their goods, as elves are about as threatening as a nasty splinter. Because that's all their crappy wood weapons can give you.
I just want to direct some people to the cracked article on Dwarf Fortress [http://www.cracked.com/funny-6021-dwarf-fortress/]. It summarizes the game better than I probably could, and also mentions some other famous fortresses and stories that aren't as well known outside the DF community. While Boatmurdered highlights all the ways you can fuck up a fort, most of the stories and forts in that article show how you can make a fort fucking awesome.
I tend to have only bugs, and my cat army disposes of them and leaves miasma every-bloody-where, so just like real life really.Internet Kraken said:
My fortress was just attacked by a giant ancient evil Chinchilla, which managed to take down three of my most experienced and fully armoured Dwarven Axemen before falling to sheer numbers in what I could only describe as a 'holy shit that was epic' battle.
Oh, and it breathed fire.
Goddamn I love this game!
Oh, and it breathed fire.
Goddamn I love this game!
The really fun thing about giant desert scorpions is the syndrome they inflict when they stab you, which causes complete necrosis of the afflicted creatures nervours system. In other words, your chances of survival are pretty much zero.Engarde said:
For all the modding I've done, I still haven't made a creature with a hilarious bullshit attack to rival that. Oh, and that's another damn cool thing about Dwarf Fortress; the syndrome system is incredibly complex and can result in lots of unique, interesting, and fun diseases.