long-distance love

Jack_Uzi

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Mar 18, 2009
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BabyRaptor said:
Arkansas and Massachusetts (That is a really weird word) here. 6.5 months and still going.

We met here on the Escapist, and met in person last month.

Long distance relationships aren't easy. There's a whole new set of issues that comes with the distance. But if you truly love the person, what else are you gonna do?

I might really hate the current situation, but I wouldn't trade what I have with my boyfriend for the world.
So true. Funny enough, I met my girl on the escapist too!! Not much to add to what you've already said, know it's the same with me. Trying to be together and knowing it's going to be tough getting all things done. But it's something that I'd rather go trough than be without her. Good luck for you guys getting everything done!!!!!
 

Don Savik

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Aug 27, 2011
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At least some people have girlfriends.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH REALITY BURN!!!!!!


:C self-insulting humor ftw.
 

Mr.Pandah

Pandah Extremist
Jul 20, 2008
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I live 5 hours from my girlfriend while she goes to college and 8 when she goes back home. I used to live 24 hours away for a brief stint and didn't get to see her at all. She lived with me for about a week when I moved to my current location but she had to leave again. It sucks but we make it work as best we can.
 

CleverNickname

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Sep 19, 2010
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Sandjube said:
And I give 0 shits if this makes me a bad person.
It does not. They're behaving oddly, after all. All of a sudden. There's bound to be some reaction on our part...
 

Yuno Gasai

Queen of Yandere
Nov 6, 2010
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LiberalSquirrel said:
I think you have to be very strong, and very trusting, to really make a long-distance relationship work.
I completely agree with this, but one key factor people tend to leave out when listing qualities which are desirable in a long-distance relationship is communication.

Communication will either make or break any relationship, but I feel it's particularly important in long-distance relationships because you're lacking in your other senses.

In that respect, I believe some long-distance relationships actually end up working better than those formed at 'close range'. You're forced to learn to communicate effectively, at the risk of ruining your chances at a relationship with this person you've fallen for.
 

EeveeElectro

Cats.
Aug 3, 2008
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If you love someone that much, it shouldn't matter about the distance. I wouldn't call someone my boyfriend who I've never met though. I probably wouldn't say we're together until we saw each other regularly.
My last two boyfriends have been long distance, the first one didn't work out not because of the distance as he was only about an hour and half away, but because he was a ****.

The second one lived further away and it cost a bit more to see him which was quite difficult as I was a poor student when we lived apart. We kept at it and moved in together after a year.
The time you spend apart makes it more special when you see each other. I saw him at least once a week or fortnight, I couldn't manage with seeing someone once every few months like some couples do.

I know a few people who pretty much moved straight in together and that worked for them. More power to you if you think it can work.
 

Datsle

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Feb 4, 2009
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Met my first girlfriend online, lasted 4 years.
Wasnt long distance then- but after 6 months she moved to Australia for 9 months (Other side of the world from here)

Alittle problematic when she came back, but it all worked out-
untill we encountered the problems that come living together :p

Its not really a problem unless you make it one, be happy.
 

WolfThomas

Man must have a code.
Dec 21, 2007
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Currently doing 600km between. But it's only for like 7 more weeks then I have plenty of time with her. Skype is pretty useful.
 

Aurgelmir

WAAAAGH!
Nov 11, 2009
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chinangel said:
Spot1990 said:
chinangel said:
Matthew94 said:
I don't get this at all.

I've seen another user do this too, how can you have a relationship with someone you have never met?
trust. patience. love. as cliche as it is, you get to know the person first, not their skin, and learn what THEY are like.
Except you don't. Like at all. You get to know the side of them they want you to see. It's a lot easier to hide aspects of your life when you live in another country, have no mutual acquaintances or really anything to go by at all really.

I mean what's a relationship without the physical side? I have an incredibly close friend, like a brother practically, probably closer to him and than any girlfriend I've had. Think Turk and JD, only thing that separates us from a relationship is we don't fuck each others brains out.

Also part of the fun of a relationship is about experiencing life together. Long distance all you have is telling each other about your lives. You can't go out with them on dates. Sorry if this comes across as offensive, I just get annoyed when people try to act like wanting a physical aspect to a relationship somehow lessens it.

nobody is acting like that at all. I want the physical aspect, but it's not an option right now. And maybe over the short term someone can lie, but not over the long term. long-distance relationships require patience and honesty, and isn't that what every relationship is built on?
The problem as I have seen from experience and others is two fold:

One part becomes to clingy, never letting the other have alone time without having to "report in" (This happens a bit to much in normal relationships as well)

Secondly one part wants physical conduct, and gets it elsewhere. Or just falls for someone else that is closer by.


So yeah long distance is doomed to fail if you can't meet on a regular basis in my experience...

Sorry
 

Ulquiorra4sama

Saviour In the Clockwork
Feb 2, 2010
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I've been in an online relationship for well over two years. I think we'll tip three years sometime this summer and things are going great. Of course it hurts not to be able to physically hold her or sleep next to her and all that kind of stuff, but i think it'll only enhance the experience when i meet her this summer. Even now just being able to see her face and hear her voice through skype is great.

Sorry if it got a bit gooey there, but i'm a man in love.
 

Griffolion

Elite Member
Aug 18, 2009
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chinangel said:
I met my girl at Christmas when I was visiting friends in the states (I'm English). We've not stopped emailing and Skyping since I went back, and I'm going back to see her at the end of May.

It's hard, I just want to be close to her. But there's still something in me that always hopes for the best and looks forward to the sweetness of being with her.

Crazy thing this long distance stuff.
 

Bertylicious

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Apr 10, 2012
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"In most cases long distance relationships never work."

Technically, most relations will never work. Not if the criteria for success is someone involved ending up dead before it ends.

Long distance relationships are awesome if you want a low-maintenance alternative that gives you something to do with your holiday time.
 

juyunseen

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Nov 21, 2011
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I'm in a long distance relationship as well, but I met her before she became my GF. My family moved, her's stayed, so we've been apart for 4 years.

I respect anyone else who can make it work, so the OP makes me happy.


Also, I'll be seeing her in September finally. Can't wait!
 

Soraryuu

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Aug 16, 2009
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This video seems very relevant. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRkgH7Uu-hA]

My two closest friends live in the US, while I'm stuck on the other side of the pond. While it's nothing more than a friendship, I have feelings for one of them. Haven't told her, however. I long to touch them pretty much every day.
 

spartan231490

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Jan 14, 2010
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Matthew94 said:
I don't get this at all.

I've seen another user do this too, how can you have a relationship with someone you have never met?
They did meet, they just never met in person. Vastly different things. Also, the heart wants what the heart wants and has never listened to reason.

OT: I've never done this myself, but I've had a few friends do it, and all in all I think the best way to cope is to have faith that it will all work out if it's meant to be. As lame as that is. I mean, there are dozens of ways you can make the distance less of a factor, but in the end it still makes every single thing about a relationship harder, so I think it helps to just have faith.
 

BlindTom

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Aug 8, 2008
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I remember meeting with a group of people I got on well with online. We all got drunk, hogtied one of the guys coming to the meet naked in the woods and then left him there for like six hours. We came back at dawn and took high definition artistic photographs of him to post on the community forum. He was quite a good sport about it but it goes to show that you never really know someone based exclusively on the shit they write. We fucking told him we were going to do it to anyone who got drunk enough but he misinterpreted the overall mood.

A relationship can be perpetuated through prosthetics but unless you have grown up without exposure to facial expressions, skin contact, pheromones and the like then you cannot establish a relationship without them. You could kiss them and suddenly get that "I'm kissing my brother" sensation. That's chemicals not magical soulmate mumbo jumbo. When you establish a relationship you need your wits about you. You need to have a full suite of sensations available and you need to have instand feedback for your decisions.

It is incredibly difficult to establish this required sense of presence on the internet, and even if you do there is no guarantee that you are experiencing the same things as the other person.
 

Amberella

Super Sailor Moon
Jan 23, 2010
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I'm currently engaged to the most wonderful man ever! He lives in the UK and I live in the US. We've been together for over 3 years now and I am very much in love with that man. :) My last trip over last June he proposed to me. <3 I'm going back this June to stay with him for two weeks. And I'm planning to move over at the end of next year and we're planning to get married around that time, too.

It's definitely not easy being in a long distance relationship but I wouldn't trade it for the world. He's caring, compassionate about his views and completely reliable. He's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. <3