lying and girls

[SovietSecrets]

Eh tell her, whats the worst that can happen?

 

[astrav1]

It would help to not be a creep, but I say tell the truth.

 

[TheTaco007]

Dude... You are too young for her. Seriously, she could be arrested for pedophilia.

Plus if she thinks 19 is too young, you're screwed unless you keep up the lie forever, which would suck.

 

[Quantana]

A 17 year old dating a 23 year old woman just isn't going to work.

I know this because I have seen it. My sister who is only 16 recently broke up with her 23 year old boyfriend. The age gap is just too big, there are too many things a 23 year old can and does do that 16/17 year old's can't.

For example, she is allowed to drink and you are not. That alone creates a bunch of problems right here. Just find some other woman who is younger, or wait until you get older.

well the only thing she can do and i can't is drive and buy weed ( i'm form Holland) we can drink legally from 16 an you can have legal sex so nobody did anything illegal

 

[Doive]

A 17 year old dating a 23 year old woman just isn't going to work.

I know this because I have seen it. My sister who is only 16 recently broke up with her 23 year old boyfriend. The age gap is just too big, there are too many things a 23 year old can and does do that 16/17 year old's can't.

For example, she is allowed to drink and you are not. That alone creates a bunch of problems right here. Just find some other woman who is younger, or wait until you get older.

well the only thing she can do and i can't is drive and buy weed ( i'm form Holland) we can drink legally from 16 an you can have legal sex so nobody did anything illegal

That's not the point. You've both had your fun, she has a right to know how old you really are so she can make a sober decision about your....relationship. Don't make up some half-arsed story, we've all told little lies to girls in bars, they know why we do it, telling a story will make you look childish.

 

[Kurokami]

ok fellow escapist, i met a girl last Saturday and i thought it was going to be a one night stand and told her i was 19 ( i'm 17 ). but now i'm really starting to like her!!! what should i do? do i tell her right away i'm not really 19 or do i wait
P.S. she is 23

Depends on her character, all in all its a pretty huge age difference, if its easy to hide than hide it, but won't she figure it out quite easily? I mean, you'd have to keep her away from your friends and make excuses for college/school/uni or w/e, won't you?

I think it'd be pretty easy to talk yourself out of trouble, but who knows.

 

[Rednog]

ok fellow escapist, i met a girl last Saturday and i thought it was going to be a one night stand and told her i was 19 ( i'm 17 ). but now i'm really starting to like her!!! what should i do? do i tell her right away i'm not really 19 or do i wait
P.S. she is 23

Just tell her, starting a relationship on a lie NEVER works. You still fall in the range of half + 7 so as long as she follows that rule you'll be fine.

You might want to redo the math on that one. 23/2 = 11.5 + 7 is 18.5; he is 17 he clearly falls under "the rule".

On Topic: Honestly I wouldn't go for that kind of relationship you're talking about two people who are most likely in different stages of maturity. A person just finishing highschool and a person who is finishing university, pretty big difference in what is happening life wise.

 

[Cupid]

I'd bet being she is 23 and she went for someone so young, she was probably all for the one night deal. At this point, I bet she won't even care. I can't imagine someone 23 wanting something serious with a 17yr. old.

 

[Guffe]

but does anyone have some advice on how to tell her that???

Facebook? or maybe a text message??
If you're telling her, tell her face to face.
I got dumped face to face and I really appreciated that she didn't send me a text or a message via Facebook.
We weren't even together for that long (2 months) but I appreciated that she did it the way she did.

 

[sneakypenguin]

but does anyone have some advice on how to tell her that???

call the police and tell them that she had sex with a minor, then when the case goes to court she will find out in the nicest way possible that your only 17

How come I get probated for a similar line "Threaten her with a rape charge/sex with a minor etc" and you go free lol, Injustice I say!

Spoiler: my notice:(

"Probation Details
Duration: 7 days
Post: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/538.249056.9190520
Reason: \"Threaten to rape her\" isn\'t very good advice. Even if you were joking, it\'s inconsiderate."

EDIT: i'm sure there's a thing in the TOS about publicly whining, *lives in fear of the banhammer*

 

[Clik]

Use beautiful or fancy words.

Yay fancy!

 

[Clik]

but does anyone have some advice on how to tell her that???

call the police and tell them that she had sex with a minor, then when the case goes to court she will find out in the nicest way possible that your only 17

How come I get probated for a similar line "Threaten her with a rape charge/sex with a minor etc" and you go free lol, Injustice I say!

You said a bunch of nasty buzzwords "Threaten" "Rape"... these mean you are a worrisome individual.

Or some such bollocks. Who knows what happens in the minds of the overlord-admins of the escapist

 

[BonsaiK]

ok fellow escapist, i met a girl last Saturday and i thought it was going to be a one night stand and told her i was 19 ( i'm 17 ). but now i'm really starting to like her!!! what should i do? do i tell her right away i'm not really 19 or do i wait
P.S. she is 23

She won't be pissed off that you're 17 but she'll be very pissed off that you've lied. Tell her the truth ASAP and be apologetic about it, and don't repeat this mistake in the future.

 

[Eumersian]

Tell her immediately. She will undoubtedly be pissed that you lied to her the moment she met you, but that's better than her thinking that you're two years older than you really are for the rest of your life, especially if you actually want something serious out of this.

 

[Nerdygamer89]

For one, you were incredibly irresponsible if you slept with her and are underage. It is NEVER okay to put someone at risk of serious legal trouble like that. I'm not trying to sound like your dad, but be a man and don't do shit like that to people, it's just not cool. Disregard if you happen to live in a place where you are above the legal age of consent, obviously.

My advice is to tell her right away, and don't be surprised if she's angry. I, for one, would be fucking livid if an underage girl lied to me about her age and I slept with her. Even if you are over the age of consent where you live, though, you should still tell the truth. Relationships should never be built on lies, and she'll find out anyhow, I guarantee.

 

[Quantana]

ok i told he'r. well she was really angry, after a lot of talking i "slept over". didn't talk about my age again however still no relationship. now one of us text the other i come over (she has her own place i don't) an i "sleep over". so i have no idea what i have now but i like it!!!!!

 

[Corjha]

ok i told he'r. well she was really angry, after a lot of talking i "slept over". didn't talk about my age again however still no relationship. now one of us text the other i come over (she has her own place i don't) an i "sleep over". so i have no idea what i have now but i like it!!!!!

Go along with this if you will, know that it cannot last very long. From how you worded this, there doesn't seem to be very good communication between you two; an essential element in a sustaining relationship. If you want this to last you're both gonna have to open up about your feelings. If what you do now doesn't change, it won't last.

 

[JohnnyDelRay]

I been on this boat before. Kept my age a secret (just never mentioned it) and when she found out, she took me aside quietly while I was out partying and had run into her, and basically told me it's never gonna happen. So better not waste time. I was extremely lucky that she was gracious about it and we stayed friends after, but you don't want to push it too far, come clean and what happens happens.

 

[Raiha]

tell her the truth. even if she hates you for it, tell her the truth.

 

[Irregular Joe]

Tell her the truth, cos if she finds out some other way and is mad, then you'll be the one she's gunning for..
If she was thinking 19 was too young then it'll be unlikely to continue, though if she did want a relationship then who knows?
You'll just have to see what the reaction is.