F:NV- You crawl out a hole and walk
Batman:AC- You cosplay as a bat and speak with a deep voice
Dark Souls- Walk two steps die, repeat
Plants Vs Zombies- Plant a garden
The Impossible Game- Die 4378 times
So in Bioshock 2 your like, a scubba diver. And you do drugs that make that make people light up. And there is these little girls you grab. And thats about it.
-Arabs have a Russian nuke for no good reason, so you have to shoot hundreds of both nations' soldiers.
-Go underwater, shoot at other dudes (led by a Russian) and get bossed around by an Irishman.
-Drive expensive sports cars very quickly down roads. Sometimes the police are trying to push you around as well.
-Die by sawblade, die by pit, die by missile, die by spikes, die by more sawblades, die, die, die, etc.
-Whack things with a hammer while a guy rambles about your hammer-whacking technique in too much detail.
-Russians have a WW2-era superweapon for no good reason, so you have to shoot hundreds of Russian soldiers. In South America.
Call of Duty 4, Bioshock, Need for Speed (specifically Hot Pursuit 2k10), Super Meat Boy, Bastion, Bad Company 2.
-Arabs have a Russian nuke for no good reason, so you have to shoot hundreds of both nations' soldiers.
-Go underwater, shoot at other dudes (led by a Russian) and get bossed around by an Irishman.
-Drive expensive sports cars very quickly down roads. Sometimes the police are trying to push you around as well.
-Die by sawblade, die by pit, die by missile, die by spikes, die by more sawblades, die, die, die, etc.
-Whack things with a hammer while a guy rambles about your hammer-whacking technique in too much detail.
-Russians have a WW2-era superweapon for no good reason, so you have to shoot hundreds of Russian soldiers. In South America.
Call of Duty 4, Bioshock, Need for Speed (specifically Hot Pursuit 2k10), Super Meat Boy, Bastion, Bad Company 2.
Skyrim: Chop wood, buy and sell items, mine ore and then use it to forge weapons which can then be sold. Get married. Recieve home-cooked meal. Walk long distances to get to underground cities and walk more long distances simply to retrieve an item for someone who can barely afford to pay you.
Red Dead: Redemption: Ride a horse through the west. Play some card games and horse shoes. Hunt down animals and skin them for money to partake in card games and horse shoes.
FPS genre: Walk/run down a long and twisty corridor which has the illusion of being large and grand, fire at Russians or aliens. Listen to generals and sergeants yell at each other and then take orders without even voicing a voice.
RTS genre: Click there. Click here. Drag and hold over these, then click here. Hot key numbers to random grouos of units. Click on that. click, drag and drop on this.
Racing games: Drive along track. Now repeat set number of times.
Just Cause 2: ....no, sorry. Impossible to make boring.
Legend of Zelda games: Defeat boss, save Zelda. Repeat aprox tri-yearly.
Team Fortress 2: The objective is to collect hats that serve no practical purpose. You do this by slowly amassing enough resources to craft them. You can also trade with other people for their hats.
Various Mario games: A man saves a princess from a lizard.
The Neverhood Chronicles: Walk around a lot and solve matching puzzles. Wake up a king at the end.
Banjo-Kazooie: Go around collecting puzzle pieces.
Morrowind: Slowly trudge around a brown world. Fight rats and crabs by repeatedly clicking on them until they die while standing in place.
Limbo: Walk to the right. Sometimes jump, or walk left. Die A LOT. All in 2D black and white.
Arkham Asylum: Get led through a linear sequence of events by a crazy guy with a high voice and annoying laugh. Punch dudes.
Half-Life 2: Go through a REALLY depressing dystopia and shoot aliens because a guy in a suit told you to. Wait an undetermined number of years for the promised sequels.
ICO: Play an escort mission that lasts the entire game.
God of War: Press Square and Triangle in various patterns.
And Reaper195, you didn't try hard enough.
Just Cause 2: Shoot a lot of people, blow up some buildings, and use a grappling hook. Now do it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... (The game was friggin' huge, is what I'm saying.)
Super Robot Wars: More or less, it's like chess except every piece is a queen and they ride robots into battle, everything cost a lot and you'll be pressing buttons to skip every battle.
Persona 3: You get to fight monsters at night, but only after you spend a day listening to some girl talk about her problems.
Persona 4: You can fight monsters in a TV, but only after you spend a day listening to some girl talk about her problems and making sure the other 4+ girls don't find out.
.hack: So you play this guy, who has no life and plays an MMORPG all day waiting for his friends to come back online while they have a life. The newer ones have the guy getting a girlfriend who is just like him.
Halo: It's like Call of Duty, except, the terrorists are now aliens.
Gears of War: It's like Call of Duty, except, the terrorists are now monsters from the center of the planet.
Call of Duty: You're a soldier, in the army and you shoot terrorists. Just like real life.
Record of Agarest War: Horrible game play, it's more or less "Do this and this and get to see this girl do naughty yet normal things."
Valkyrie Profile: So you're this angel chick who goes around getting dead guys and sending them to heaven.
Armored Core: So you're in this robot thats totally not a gundam, and you get to shoot things. You can also fly.
Touhou: You fly around and shoot at things, you will die a lot unless you're on easy or drunk enough to dodge everything.
Wander around a more-or-less deserted town, very occasionally fight a monster. Oh, and the crappy render distance means you can't see more than ten metres ahead of you.
All you ever do is mash buttons. Push buttons in specific orders or with some kind of contrived timing, like a giant quick-time event. And for what? Skinner-box rewards and token achievements if anything at all.
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.