Imagine that I founded a new country as dictator and I'm accepting new ideas for rules in that country. I want you yes you to put in a submission for a rule, each rule that I like or is logical I'll add to my constitution. I'll start it off.
2. - If you act like a douchebag, prepare to get your ass kicked.
3. - Everyone must worship me. Or die!!!
4. - Democracy. In big big letters. Engraved on a cliff somewhere. (made of gold) (in my dictatorship)
5. - Every Friday is "wear whatever the hell you please" day.
6. - Public humiliation for certain crimes.
7. - Criminals must pass a psychological test before they're released.
8. - If you troll, we will have a guy in medieval armor run you through. That's what they did back then, it's damn near stupid to not do it now. Edit: In front of hundred's of people.
9. - Bacon is to be a part of everyone's daily diet, but vegetarians can substitute tofu bacon.
10.- In order to enroll in the public education system, you must be tested to ensure that will not attempt to foul the experiance for others by
a. Being a asshat
b. Stealing food
c. Beating up defenseless nerds
If the test turns up negative they will then be forced to apply for work in a sweatshop. Once they decide that is not enjoyable (they aren't paid) they will retake the test. If they fail they will repeat ad nausem until the can enroll. They will also have to take a condensed monthly test of similar nature, in case they start to waver.
11.- Prizes will be given by local councils for most inventive use of incendiary weapons.
12.- Every Monday you must dress up in a funny outfit to lighten the day up (you must also put on an accent suiting what you are
13.- No accordian music... ever!
14.- For every dollar made, 1 cent goes to me through tax
15.- Anyone caught wearing a tracksuit in non-athletic circumstances will be put on trial then suitably charged
16.- Simon cowell will be outlawed
17.- Anyone who has kids by more than three partners will be sumarily sterilized
18.- No rap, trance, drum n base or grime music in public places or schools
19.- All school teachers have to undergo a monthly competence test, if they fail, they get fired and all of their pupils have the right to perform one non-lethal act of revenge upon them. Edit: non-crippling too
20.- All employees who perform well will be taken away...to the marshmallow room/bouncy ball room
21.- It will be illegal for men to wear women's jeans.
22.- Twilight will become a forbidden book, anyone who reads it will work in the mines for the rest of their lives (Did I not mention the off-world mines? Yeah there'll be those too).
23.- If you want the rank "man", you'll have to wrestle a muzzled and declawed beer to the floor. Edit: or provide video evidence of you punching a whale in the face.
24.- 2. 50% of national funding goes towards video game research.
25.- Any attempt to combine two words into a single word, which does not serve any noticeable purpose or benefit the conversation in any way ("Guesstimate", for example), is strictly forbidden. The first offense is punishable by a slap across the face. The second offense is punishable by up to 500 hours of community service or up to 2 hours of being locked in a room with Brittney Spears. The third offense is punishable by forcible anus removal.
26.- While the state recognizes the equal opportunity of every man or woman to form opinions, it does not recognize the equality of the opinions themselves. Opinions can be better or worse than one another and the phrase "It's just my opinion" is not an acceptable excuse to make a dumb-ass statement.
27.- Abbreviations such as wtf, lol and omg used in REAL LIFE CONVERSATION wil be punishable by three hours of washing Gastachos hairy, flabby underfolds. Saying cbf at ANY TIME will reult in the washing of Gastachos sweaty, shit-stained ass. Gastacho will be the fat 60 something man from the Soviet Union who we keep in a room under the presidential palace where all Escapists and friends/family of those Escapists are welcome to help rule...and play rock band
28.- Radio and TV music channels must play a fair share of as many genres as possible,which includes many types of metal,progressive rock, shoegaze, ambient, blues, jazz, classical, neofolk, industrial etc.
29.- Duels to the death should be made legal as long as the proper documents are filled out.
30.- Video games as national sport
31.- You get 10 release date days, so that you can get the game and play it for one day without being reprimanded at work.
32.- Cries of "First" is a crime punishable, first by a slap, then a series of 5 slaps but they don't know when they'll happen and then deportation or public execution.
33.- Blasting the radio in a convertible that has the top down will end with a Fine and the tires will be taken of your car. Edit: the people who do that's siren will sound like "Yoink Yoink Yoink Yoink"
34.- The only firearms that will be used are ones that make comical noises when they fire.
35.- Modern Disney "musicals" are banned and making one is punishable by death unless the person is under 12.
36.- Remakes of (or belated sequels to) any films or games considered to be great or classic that do not involve the original filmmakers are to be banned, and the heads of any studio found to be planning any such remake/sequel are to be forcibly bankrupted, covered head to toe in faeces and put on public display. Edit:unless they do the original justice.
37.- Conversation about Twilight, Jonas Bros, Miley Cirus or 4kids will result in jail time. Edit: Unless the conversation in question is in a humorous sense.
38.- People who commit a crime that they would go to jail for have to forcibly donate an organ as well as jail time. For example if someone assaults somebody, he "donates" a kidney, if somebody commits murder, they shall have as many organs as possible "donated" as well as life imprisonment.
39.- We shall employ a new "3 strikes and your out" system in which if you go to jail for over a year 3 times you stay in jail.
40.- If you are ugly, poor, fat and stupid and still have an unrealisticly hot girlfriend/boyfriend then you are to be applauded wherever the 2 of you go. However if you are found to be cheating on said "Hotness" then you are to be subjected to a series of "luck trials" in which you place each appendage into a covered box of your choice (all are harmful but some are less so than others), once you have placed each appendage into one of the many boxes then you are forgiven by the general public... But not necesserily your significant other.
41.- We shall have our own government funded game developer at our disposal. They won't be worried about profit so they'll make new and original IPs and won't milk a franchise.
42.- Talk like a pirate day will be nationally endorced and enforced.
43.- People have to apply for a thong permit, which must be checked monthly, to determine whether they are suitable for such garments.
44.- Genius day will be a holiday in which we honor those who were awesome e.g. Leonardo da Vinci, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein. On this holiday, people of above-average intelligence will be able to buy up to $200 in free stuff.
45.- Anyone found complaining that something is offensive to a group that they are not in shall be punished by law
46.- From the age of 6 all children will be trained in each martial art
[HEADING=1]Constitution[/HEADING]
1. - Any person who wants to live in the country has to take a "common sense" test to prove that they will be good citizens.2. - If you act like a douchebag, prepare to get your ass kicked.
3. - Everyone must worship me. Or die!!!
4. - Democracy. In big big letters. Engraved on a cliff somewhere. (made of gold) (in my dictatorship)
5. - Every Friday is "wear whatever the hell you please" day.
6. - Public humiliation for certain crimes.
7. - Criminals must pass a psychological test before they're released.
8. - If you troll, we will have a guy in medieval armor run you through. That's what they did back then, it's damn near stupid to not do it now. Edit: In front of hundred's of people.
9. - Bacon is to be a part of everyone's daily diet, but vegetarians can substitute tofu bacon.
10.- In order to enroll in the public education system, you must be tested to ensure that will not attempt to foul the experiance for others by
a. Being a asshat
b. Stealing food
c. Beating up defenseless nerds
If the test turns up negative they will then be forced to apply for work in a sweatshop. Once they decide that is not enjoyable (they aren't paid) they will retake the test. If they fail they will repeat ad nausem until the can enroll. They will also have to take a condensed monthly test of similar nature, in case they start to waver.
11.- Prizes will be given by local councils for most inventive use of incendiary weapons.
12.- Every Monday you must dress up in a funny outfit to lighten the day up (you must also put on an accent suiting what you are
13.- No accordian music... ever!
14.- For every dollar made, 1 cent goes to me through tax
15.- Anyone caught wearing a tracksuit in non-athletic circumstances will be put on trial then suitably charged
16.- Simon cowell will be outlawed
17.- Anyone who has kids by more than three partners will be sumarily sterilized
18.- No rap, trance, drum n base or grime music in public places or schools
19.- All school teachers have to undergo a monthly competence test, if they fail, they get fired and all of their pupils have the right to perform one non-lethal act of revenge upon them. Edit: non-crippling too
20.- All employees who perform well will be taken away...to the marshmallow room/bouncy ball room
21.- It will be illegal for men to wear women's jeans.
22.- Twilight will become a forbidden book, anyone who reads it will work in the mines for the rest of their lives (Did I not mention the off-world mines? Yeah there'll be those too).
23.- If you want the rank "man", you'll have to wrestle a muzzled and declawed beer to the floor. Edit: or provide video evidence of you punching a whale in the face.
24.- 2. 50% of national funding goes towards video game research.
25.- Any attempt to combine two words into a single word, which does not serve any noticeable purpose or benefit the conversation in any way ("Guesstimate", for example), is strictly forbidden. The first offense is punishable by a slap across the face. The second offense is punishable by up to 500 hours of community service or up to 2 hours of being locked in a room with Brittney Spears. The third offense is punishable by forcible anus removal.
26.- While the state recognizes the equal opportunity of every man or woman to form opinions, it does not recognize the equality of the opinions themselves. Opinions can be better or worse than one another and the phrase "It's just my opinion" is not an acceptable excuse to make a dumb-ass statement.
27.- Abbreviations such as wtf, lol and omg used in REAL LIFE CONVERSATION wil be punishable by three hours of washing Gastachos hairy, flabby underfolds. Saying cbf at ANY TIME will reult in the washing of Gastachos sweaty, shit-stained ass. Gastacho will be the fat 60 something man from the Soviet Union who we keep in a room under the presidential palace where all Escapists and friends/family of those Escapists are welcome to help rule...and play rock band
28.- Radio and TV music channels must play a fair share of as many genres as possible,which includes many types of metal,progressive rock, shoegaze, ambient, blues, jazz, classical, neofolk, industrial etc.
29.- Duels to the death should be made legal as long as the proper documents are filled out.
30.- Video games as national sport
31.- You get 10 release date days, so that you can get the game and play it for one day without being reprimanded at work.
32.- Cries of "First" is a crime punishable, first by a slap, then a series of 5 slaps but they don't know when they'll happen and then deportation or public execution.
33.- Blasting the radio in a convertible that has the top down will end with a Fine and the tires will be taken of your car. Edit: the people who do that's siren will sound like "Yoink Yoink Yoink Yoink"
34.- The only firearms that will be used are ones that make comical noises when they fire.
35.- Modern Disney "musicals" are banned and making one is punishable by death unless the person is under 12.
36.- Remakes of (or belated sequels to) any films or games considered to be great or classic that do not involve the original filmmakers are to be banned, and the heads of any studio found to be planning any such remake/sequel are to be forcibly bankrupted, covered head to toe in faeces and put on public display. Edit:unless they do the original justice.
37.- Conversation about Twilight, Jonas Bros, Miley Cirus or 4kids will result in jail time. Edit: Unless the conversation in question is in a humorous sense.
38.- People who commit a crime that they would go to jail for have to forcibly donate an organ as well as jail time. For example if someone assaults somebody, he "donates" a kidney, if somebody commits murder, they shall have as many organs as possible "donated" as well as life imprisonment.
39.- We shall employ a new "3 strikes and your out" system in which if you go to jail for over a year 3 times you stay in jail.
40.- If you are ugly, poor, fat and stupid and still have an unrealisticly hot girlfriend/boyfriend then you are to be applauded wherever the 2 of you go. However if you are found to be cheating on said "Hotness" then you are to be subjected to a series of "luck trials" in which you place each appendage into a covered box of your choice (all are harmful but some are less so than others), once you have placed each appendage into one of the many boxes then you are forgiven by the general public... But not necesserily your significant other.
41.- We shall have our own government funded game developer at our disposal. They won't be worried about profit so they'll make new and original IPs and won't milk a franchise.
42.- Talk like a pirate day will be nationally endorced and enforced.
43.- People have to apply for a thong permit, which must be checked monthly, to determine whether they are suitable for such garments.
44.- Genius day will be a holiday in which we honor those who were awesome e.g. Leonardo da Vinci, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein. On this holiday, people of above-average intelligence will be able to buy up to $200 in free stuff.
45.- Anyone found complaining that something is offensive to a group that they are not in shall be punished by law
46.- From the age of 6 all children will be trained in each martial art
