Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

[Knife-28]

I throw a molotov cocktail at DJ DEnM's Boatfort.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I escape before it can burn completely and lunge my arcade sword at Knife.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn on Knife's shoulders. "Onwards, to battle, trusty steed!" I yell, pointing my rake at DJ.

 

[Knife-28]

As Trilby respawns on my shoulders, I trip, impailing Trilby with DJ DEnM's sword, and trapping him under Trilby's dead weight. I then abscond while I have the chance.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn on top of DJ and start slapping him silly.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I stab Trilby again and throw his corpse at Knife.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn near the rabid chinchilla pet shop.
"That seems dangerous and irresponsible." I say.
I put on my Staples Easy Armour and rush the horde.
THAT WAS EAS- THA- TH- TH- THAT WA-
I impale the last chinchilla.
THAT WAS EASY!

 

[DJ_DEnM]

Goes into the nearest astrology store to grab a telescope. I tape it to my token launcher to make the "Long-range Arcadesmans +1 Token Sniper". Patent pending.

 

[Knife-28]

I walk over to the base of the escalator, and, seeing Over speeing down, hold a cricket bat at about head hight.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in the basketball courts.
"Oh my god!" I say, [HEADING=1]"

"[/HEADING]

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I use my new Token Sniper to shoot EricDraven square in the head with a token.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn. "Eric set the fire...on fire...." I say, the resulting lack of logic causing my head to explode. I then respawn again and grab a cricket bat, I then start sneaking up on DJ DEnM.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I use the five D's of Dodgeball:
Dodge
Duck
Dip
Dive
Dodge!

In a random direction.

 

[Knife-28]

That random direction is straight towards me, catching me off guard. I swing my cricketbat at random, hoping to his DJ DEnM.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I respawn and run after Knife with a titanium spork.

 

[Knife-28]

"No, not.....THE SPORK!!!!!!"
I flail my cricket bat at DJ DEnM.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I weave and bob (Boxing training helped!) and gouge Knife's left eye out, so he can see himself getting beaten by a spork.

 

[Knife-28]

"Agh!" I wack DJ DEnM over the head with the cricket bat.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I finish killing Knife just in time to not get knocked out from the paddling of the Cricket bat.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

*stumbles in*

*is jumped by mall security and brutally beaten to death with a water noodle*