Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)
- Thread starter Knife-28
- Start date
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I respawn in Staples, grab a piece of paper, and make a paper airplane.
I fling it into the air, giving a random person a papercut that gets infected and later dies after their next post.
I fling it into the air, giving a random person a papercut that gets infected and later dies after their next post.
Ow! A papercut! I run to the sender, and drown him in the ridiculous amounts of blood spewing from my middle finger.
Then I die.
Then I die.
I respawn and am killed by Tox, and then respawn again. I go to a dollar store, and get the gigantic loonie that is in the store. I then roll it down the stairs, commencing an Indiana Jones scene for whoever is unlucky enough to be down there to try to outrun it.
I respawn and die of confusion, being crushed by a "gigantic loonie", the definition of which I do not know.
As thinker respawns, I yell over to him. "A loonie is a Canadian $1 money unit." I then slide down a floor on the trunk of a palm tree.The Thinker said:
I respawn, hear Zepherus, and yell back "I know, but what was a giant one doing in a pawn shop?" before running into a video store, watching all the original Mission Impossibles, and gaining the legendary powers of Barney. I then run into the Tetris store, intent on buying a I tetrimino (line block). However, since the store is out of those, I settle on buying a pet right Z tetrimino, who I name Ziggy.
I run into a hareware store, grabbing a teflon pipe, a couple of joints, and some super glue. I then go to a hair dressers to grab some 10 cans of hair spray.
I invent a machine that speeds up watches and plays chess. I get Ziggy to drop it on Zepherus, killing him.
A watch killed me? WHAT!?
I respawn, and run to the grocery store, and get a sack of potatoes. I also grab a BBQ lighter from the checkout desk, I make a break for my old body with the pipes and spray cans.
I respawn, and run to the grocery store, and get a sack of potatoes. I also grab a BBQ lighter from the checkout desk, I make a break for my old body with the pipes and spray cans.
Unfortunately, I've converted the watch-speeding chess-playing machine into a movie projector that induces the symptoms of a rare virus know as "The Plots", and also induces extreme sleepiness. I find Zeph, and shine it on him.
I swerve into the mall in my white 2007 Ford Focus. I kick open the door and a mountain of bottles and cans fall out onto the ground. I light my cigarette and bumble around the entrance, avoiding the mall as much as possible. I. Hate. The. Mall...
But I do like food. I stop in the Food Court. The fire and blood is a minor point my friends, as I listen to death metal and this stuff makes me feel welcome. It seems there has been a fight, and people were killed with Nintendo 64 and original X Box equipment. It also appears that there is, for the time being, an endless supply of chili cheese fries. Do I endeavor? Oh hell yes. All those minimum wage jobs means I work a fryer like a champ.
...BLAST! Chili in a mini riot is a bad idea. I barely make it to bathroom, and the toilet seat pays the price. I just became That Dude: the one who pooped on the seat. Hovering above the seat, I notice through the crack in the door that someone has followed me inside. It is a naked man. Shit just got real (weird). He perches on a urinal in a Thinker pose... but he never expected that I would have the first strike. I burst from the stall and hit him with a full blast of dookie. "My body is a weapon! Ahahahaha!" I scream as I run out of the destroyed bathroom.
But I do like food. I stop in the Food Court. The fire and blood is a minor point my friends, as I listen to death metal and this stuff makes me feel welcome. It seems there has been a fight, and people were killed with Nintendo 64 and original X Box equipment. It also appears that there is, for the time being, an endless supply of chili cheese fries. Do I endeavor? Oh hell yes. All those minimum wage jobs means I work a fryer like a champ.
...BLAST! Chili in a mini riot is a bad idea. I barely make it to bathroom, and the toilet seat pays the price. I just became That Dude: the one who pooped on the seat. Hovering above the seat, I notice through the crack in the door that someone has followed me inside. It is a naked man. Shit just got real (weird). He perches on a urinal in a Thinker pose... but he never expected that I would have the first strike. I burst from the stall and hit him with a full blast of dookie. "My body is a weapon! Ahahahaha!" I scream as I run out of the destroyed bathroom.
As the light is shined on me, I feel something come over me, "Come heroes! We must defeat the evils that live in this mall! But first, nap... tim...e...zzzzzzz" I collapse half way finished my potato cannon.
I grab Zeph's cannon, and combine it with my own projector to make an instadeath-grenade blaster. I turn around to see a man who looks just like me, but covered in feces, so I shoot him. Then I kill Zeph, for good measure.
OoC: I hate you... (not really but I didn't even get to use ma spud gun...)
I respawn and chuckle, I hadn't properly sealed the pipes together with the super glue yet, one more shot would cause the spud gun to fail, exploding the user. I run to a mountain climbing store and grab a pick, and start to dig a hole in the floor to make a pit fall trap.
I respawn and chuckle, I hadn't properly sealed the pipes together with the super glue yet, one more shot would cause the spud gun to fail, exploding the user. I run to a mountain climbing store and grab a pick, and start to dig a hole in the floor to make a pit fall trap.
I use my Barney Technomagic to rig the gun to explode, and I happen to run into martintox, whom I throw the gun at. BOOM!
I finish digging my pit fall, covering the bottom with deadly spikes, had to replace the tickle spikes as they just wouldn't do, and go to the bakery. I then place the cake in the centre of the pitfall and run to a bush near the trap watching and waiting.
Hey! Cake! I run to it and, in sheer excitement, literally hover three feet above the ground. I eat the cake.
"Ha ha! I knew someone would try to float over the trap, that's why I got a special 'pound' cake. I call it the 'tonne' cake! Muhahahaahaaha!!" I jump out of the bushes.
Thinker feels heavy as he slowly falls into the trap, after finishing he plummets into the spikes. "And that is for stealing my spud gun!"
Thinker feels heavy as he slowly falls into the trap, after finishing he plummets into the spikes. "And that is for stealing my spud gun!"