Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Sigma Castell]

My head does a 180 degree turn to look at Salt.
"But Why Would You Not Want Us To Be There Salt"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Salt, the mall is infinitely big. Just walk for a few weeks and you'll never have to deal with us ever again."

 

[Saltarius]

"It's not that I don't want to deal with any of you ever again. Just you, Trilby."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I love you too, Salt."
I turn to Tox.
"I assume that it's mostly made up of weird and vaguely creepy stores selling strange items we just do not want at all, and stores which, on their original planets, have been closed down, and yet the nature of the mall forces them to remain open... forever..."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Yeah, but that's not scary. Just dangerous. And, y'know, we're basically immortal. So danger means precisely jack shit here."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Right... so, what's your point? If there are any things out there like that, wouldn't they eventually find us by sheer chance? So, that means their possible existence isn't a reason not to leave the area we normally stay in."

 

[RaNDM G]

"Send the warlocks. I'll stand up when they get here."

You hear chatter from outside.

[sub]"I always wanted a spot by the river."[/sub]

[sub]"Really? Are we really having this conversation now?"[/sub]

[sub]"Why not? It's quaint. Has a nice, rustic charm to it."[/sub]

[sub]"Because we're warlocks you bleating idiot! We live humbly among the forest, not in houses! We signed a pact!"[/sub]

[small]"... What the pact doesn't know won't hurt it."[/small]

"Shut up. We're here."

 

[Paddy the Second]

The church door opens and a tulpa, visually identical to me, steps out, closing it behind him. "Gentlemen" he says, "may I ask why you're here?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Oh. Hello there. We are representatives of the local warlock community."

"Come to rape your churches and burn your women, kind Sir."

"..."

"I mixed it up again, didn't I?"

 

[Saltarius]

"...My 'Paddy is utterly fucked' senses are tingling."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Right... so, you bringing it up was pointless."
I facepalm.

 

[Saltarius]

"Eh, I'm not all that threatening, sane or mad."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"But why?"

 

[Saltarius]

"But...that's...how would I even...what?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I open up a lemonade stand.
"Come one, come all! Taste the excellent, extravagant, excruciating lemonade!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Fakey bullshit...fake...stuff?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I drop a cyanide pill into the pitcher.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I crash a lemonade into the plane.

 

[Saltarius]

"I mean, how will I become insane? And not the realistic pants-shitting, wall-licking, completely nonfunctioning sort of insane. The idealized sort."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Sorry, just refilling it."
I hand it back to Tox.