Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Paddy the Second]

"We're a fucking infinite mall inside a spaceship. Also we can't die."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"It's ironic, because you're not noble or brave."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"If you want to go to Earth so badly, why not just wait until we reach Pietas, buy yourself a ship and go there alone?"

 

[Saltarius]

"What else is new."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I start spamming Sister with pitures off Goatse and Lemonparty.
"Wait. What 'Other mall?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, one thing that's new is you're holding a bomb to your head." I tell Salt. "Let me fix that for you."
I blow up the phone Salt is using to call Sister, and the head Salt is using to contain his brain.

 

[Sigma Castell]

"...So are we going to Earth or what"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"No, we're going to Pietas. Earth is inhospitable, which apparently makes Paddy want to go there."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"What happened?"
I start sending Sister nude photos of Woon.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Don't know, don't care."
I start perusing my Attractive Victorian Ladies magazine.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I start sending Sister pictures of Salt and Woon having sex.

 

[Saltarius]

I respawn and shoot Sigma in the hands.

"Dude. No. There are things you just don't do."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I walk off into the kitchen, where I find a large holo-blender spinning away, and a thick layer of head-blood and brain matter coating the walls.
"Oh yeah. That happened."
I find a slightly less bloody patch of counter top and make myself a sandwich.

 

[Sigma Castell]

My hands strat spraying streams of skittles everywhere.

 

[Saltarius]

I call Sister back and step into a more secluded area to prevent further interruptions.

"So what, me being a Knight means I get to improve?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Take us to earth or I'll press that."

Don't push that.

"Well, you're supposed to. The whole point is to improve yourself, but not everyone does."

 

[Saltarius]

"Right. Well, not much else has happened. I found a ring, I guess. That happened. And I'm pretty sure I told you about the cop drama bullshit."

 

[RaNDM G]

"Wait! I love cop drama bullshit."

 

[Saltarius]

"Weddings, cop dramas...you're into the weirdest shit. Anyways we had to bust up some drug lords and take them all in but some complications arose and we thought we killed plainclothes cops, but they turned out to be the guys we were supposed to capture so...yeah. I'm on lifetime community service sadly."

 

[RaNDM G]

"Wow, sounds like a fun, if not entirely stressful and drawn out story."