Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[ShindoL Shill]

"And you wonder why I'm not trying very hard to not be a dick to you."

 

[Saltarius]

"Just because you're trying not to be a dick doesn't mean I have to be nice to you."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Yeah, but if you're not nice to me, then what motivation do I have not to be a dick? Do unto others, or some shit like that."

 

[Saltarius]

"If you truly cared about becoming a better person, you wouldn't let it get to you. But this cycle of logic is just becoming recursive."

I get my stomach acid into a plastic cup and pour it on Trilby's face.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, maybe I'm just not as thick-skinned as you."

I'm too far away for the acid to hit.

 

[Saltarius]

"Not being a ***** helps."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"See, it's comments like that that make me want to hurt you, both physically and emotionally."

 

[Saltarius]

"Your face made me want to do the same. But now that I'm blind, your horrid personality and general traits do the job much better."

 

[Knife-28]

"Christ will you two put a sock in it! It's like listening to an old married couple and I should know." Knife cuts in, interrupting Salt and Trilby's argument.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I superglue Knifes mouth closed and turn to Trilby and Salt.
"Oh no, please continue."
I eat some more popcorn and put on my 4D-specs.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Yeah guys, you should really stop-SNEAK ATTACK!" I shoot Salt and Trilby in the stomach.

 

[RaNDM G]

I leap to my feet and clap my hands. "Right, tell me everything I need to know about these warlocks."

"They like to burn down our houses and take our women and children. Hence the fleeing women and children."

Well, gee. I could have told you that.

"Yeah guys, you should really stop-SNEAK ATTACK!" I shoot Salt and Trilby in the stomach.

Sister shoots you in the crotch with a paintball.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I collapse, clutching my stomach, then shoot myself in the head.
I respawn.
"Why, Zombie."

 

[Knife-28]

Knife rolls his eyes, then pulls his mouth open with a slight wince of pain. "Would you like a list Trilby?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well fuck." I fall over.
"But...why not..."

 

[Saltarius]

"Married couple implies that our insults are at least on-par with one another. Which they aren't."

I weakly fire another paintball into Zombie's eyes.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Ow."
I get up and stumble over to a pharmacy. I pick out an eye patch, and put it on.
"Wait...Could it be?"
I run to find the nearest mirror, and I see my reflection.

 

[Saltarius]

I saw Zombie's dick off while he isn't looking.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Oh for fucks sake. Now you're head is gonna go in a fish tank. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED SALT?"
I slice Salts head off, grab it, and dump it into a big fish tank.

 

[Saltarius]

I respawn and cut Zomb's left arm off.