Marriage without sex?
- Thread starter Oneirius
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I think the problem wasn't a lack of sex, but more you just were not that interested in eachother. If she was pawning you off onto other girls, then imo:darkknight9 said:
A. She didn't have that love/jealousy connection with you.
B. She has little care for intimacy in general.
Yes i would marry a girl who would be like that... Or i wouldnt even go close to a woman like that! Not because of the sexual incapability(dont get me wrong thats not what im saying)
I just think a woman like that would deserve someone far better than me! T.T
I just think a woman like that would deserve someone far better than me! T.T
Ha ha ha... no.bl4ckh4wk64 said:
Once again (sigh, getting tired of repeating this) I'm seven years married. My spouse and I have a great sex life - we generally have sex every day. And we're not talking 'wam-bam-thank-you-maam' quickies either. Last night we were having sex for an hour and half, and that's if you don't count the foreplay beforehand. That's a little longer than normal for us, but our typical evening is one hour long.
A gentleman above mentioned that he and his spouse are equally active after ten years of marriage.
So please, the joke is old and inaccurate.
If you're not going to be having sex with them you might as well just be very good friends with them.. after all a lover is just a good friend that shares their physicality with you..
No point in all that complex relationship stuff if all you need to be is friends..
Although to appease the OP i'd probably go with marriage and no sex if she was so perfect but it wouldn't last long before the cheating comes into play.. I'm only a primitive and generally hormonal being after all..
No point in all that complex relationship stuff if all you need to be is friends..
Although to appease the OP i'd probably go with marriage and no sex if she was so perfect but it wouldn't last long before the cheating comes into play.. I'm only a primitive and generally hormonal being after all..
If my lover was perfect, she wouldn't presume to make the demand that her inability to have sex meant that I would have to live a sexless life.
I think the society I live in often emphasizes sex and sexuality in all the wrong ways while simultaneously wrongly downplaying other important aspects. But honestly, sexuality really is an important part of most fully lived human existences.
I think the society I live in often emphasizes sex and sexuality in all the wrong ways while simultaneously wrongly downplaying other important aspects. But honestly, sexuality really is an important part of most fully lived human existences.
If she's so nice, why does she want me to live the rest of my life without sex?
If you can give me a satisfactory answer to that question, then my answer is "yes."
I would marry that person and forego sex.
Actually, furthermore, WHY can't we have sex? Or more to the point of what I'm curious about: Can we BOTH have sex with other people, but not with each other?
If so, an open relationship would actually be the perfect solution to that problem.
I think your hypothetical "perfect" woman is kindof a *****. Just sayin'.
If you can give me a satisfactory answer to that question, then my answer is "yes."
I would marry that person and forego sex.
Actually, furthermore, WHY can't we have sex? Or more to the point of what I'm curious about: Can we BOTH have sex with other people, but not with each other?
If so, an open relationship would actually be the perfect solution to that problem.
I think your hypothetical "perfect" woman is kindof a *****. Just sayin'.
sex is key imo. it is needed and maybe each and every one of us has a differing drive, but it is something that we are inherently designed and programmed to do and want to do. why deny yourself that happiness? i had dated one girl for two years without sex, and it was very stressful for me esp. when following heavy foreplay, there was nothing else but a very irritated hard on.
my point is though, everyone should at least have some fulfillment of their sexual needs because i would much rather have people be happy together with a healthy sex life than people be pseudo-roomates with no intimacy.
my point is though, everyone should at least have some fulfillment of their sexual needs because i would much rather have people be happy together with a healthy sex life than people be pseudo-roomates with no intimacy.
I would stay with her. I mean, if she's that great otherwise, I don't think sex is that important.
I can see where the prevailing 'No' response is coming from. The idea is centered around someone trying to shoehorn himself into the trappings of an institution designed around sexual relationships, and there is no real reason for it if no such relationship exists. In that case our theoretical mate is just being silly.
The purely asexual relationship might be better described as a sort of really close adopted family. You love each other and are basically inseparable, and the proposal described mainly means that your bro/sis is sick of you bringing home your latest conquests all of the time and wants you to either cut it out or move out. Fair enough. If you do not agree to the weird pact, your relationship can still be pretty healthy.
However, save for some physical and neurological barriers, the theoretical mate still seems to be as much a sexual being as anyone else, making this scenario more ambiguous. Suppose that she displays every emotional symptom of physical attraction, and despite knowing that she will not get anything out of actual sex, she still wants you. A little creepy! But let's say for the sake of argument that it is not creepy.
I would probably stay with her! I believe that sexual attraction flows from a deeper psycho-emotional attraction, not the other way around.
The purely asexual relationship might be better described as a sort of really close adopted family. You love each other and are basically inseparable, and the proposal described mainly means that your bro/sis is sick of you bringing home your latest conquests all of the time and wants you to either cut it out or move out. Fair enough. If you do not agree to the weird pact, your relationship can still be pretty healthy.
However, save for some physical and neurological barriers, the theoretical mate still seems to be as much a sexual being as anyone else, making this scenario more ambiguous. Suppose that she displays every emotional symptom of physical attraction, and despite knowing that she will not get anything out of actual sex, she still wants you. A little creepy! But let's say for the sake of argument that it is not creepy.
I would probably stay with her! I believe that sexual attraction flows from a deeper psycho-emotional attraction, not the other way around.
First off, yes, we don't RP all the time. Just like I don't tie my spouse up and get out the whips every night. Variety is the spice of life, after all. ^^John Marcone said:
Secondly, I will be going back to Maytag soon. I put up the Tali avatar to support Bioware in March Mayhem.
However, considering that my spouse and I are currently involved in a Mass Effect game, and recalling what we were roleplaying last night, I think my avatar is quite appropriate for this thread.
I've actually gotten quite good at the accent. ^^
Edit: Ha. Ha ha. Wrong thread. You were talking about affairs, not roleplaying. ^^;;
Wow, that was probably not the reply you were expecting, huh?
Could you be a bit clearer? Is it some sort of physical barrier (i.e. my lover in question lost the bottom half of her/his torso) or an emotional one (i.e. Phallophobia).
While I'm sure in an idealized world where true, platonic love exists then the subject of non sexual marriage may be a trivial one, in the real world it simply wouldn't last. Never mind all the biological urges you'd have to surmount, there's also the issue of selfishness. Among other factors, a good marriage requires open communication and cooperation. If you have needs that your partner is unable (or unwilling) to meet, it's kind of a slap in the face that they might also expect you to be just as happy with the arrangement as they are (and are unable to even field a guess at your side of the situation).
Short of chemical/surgical mind altering therapy to nip in the bud any desire or inclination you might have for sexual intimacy, the only other way I can think of to make the marriage work is ferocious "personal" intimacy or an open marriage. I mean, as long as you two still share your love and feelings for each other on an emotional level, it shouldn't matter how they proceed on a physical level given the restriction at hand, should it? I can't really imagine a marriage where a spouse is happy with their spouse's unhappiness working in the long run, something will give.
While I'm sure in an idealized world where true, platonic love exists then the subject of non sexual marriage may be a trivial one, in the real world it simply wouldn't last. Never mind all the biological urges you'd have to surmount, there's also the issue of selfishness. Among other factors, a good marriage requires open communication and cooperation. If you have needs that your partner is unable (or unwilling) to meet, it's kind of a slap in the face that they might also expect you to be just as happy with the arrangement as they are (and are unable to even field a guess at your side of the situation).
Short of chemical/surgical mind altering therapy to nip in the bud any desire or inclination you might have for sexual intimacy, the only other way I can think of to make the marriage work is ferocious "personal" intimacy or an open marriage. I mean, as long as you two still share your love and feelings for each other on an emotional level, it shouldn't matter how they proceed on a physical level given the restriction at hand, should it? I can't really imagine a marriage where a spouse is happy with their spouse's unhappiness working in the long run, something will give.
This strikes me as judgmental. Perhaps I'm wrong, but it seems you are suggesting that asexual people simply *think* they don't want sex because they've never had it?HerbertTheHamster said:
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I don't know about you, but I can still remember when I was a virgin. I was probably even more sexually driven than I am now.
If a person claims to be asexual, it's probably because they don't want to have sex. Pretty simple.