Mass Effect: Stock Exchange

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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It's a good thing she didn't have a hungry cat.
<spoiler= I'd never be able to clean my aquarium>http://www.blogcdn.com/www.switched.com/media/2008/04/funny-pictures-cat-helps-clean-fishtank.jpg
 

AbstractStream

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Aw man, I was loving these Mass Effect comics D:
Poor Tali looks so excited and then Shepard sends that XD wow
 

kouriichi

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I cant tell.... are those limes, or dextro-amino lemons? Im not sure you could even get limes in space. The import cost would make the Black Widow look cheap.
 

The Wooster

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Well, it's the last part of the love affair until the rumored DLC comes out and we see which theories are right.
 

Abedeus

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Why can't he hold all these feels?

Because we are all the feel.

In other words, we all know the feel if we actually wanted Bioware to give some effort to Tali's picture... or not reveal face at all, if they wanted it half-assed.
 

conanthegamer

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She isn't going to be giving me any pictures. I chose the Geth over the Quarian's and she committed suicide. Whats really bad is we did the horizontal hop in Mass Effect 2. And after we met in 3 she was giving me all sorts innuendo while she was alive.
 

Valanthe

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Cute comic. I love Tali's excited pose in panel 2.

I remain one of those few people who actually isn't bothered by the whole "Stock photo" mess. I was actually a little dissapointed that they showed her face at all really, I liked the mystique my imagination brought to it, I guess it's kind of along the same lines as why I think women in more 'reserved' clothes are far sexier than those who walk around with it all hanging out.
 

RJ 17

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Nov 27, 2011
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:p Gotta say, while I've never fully understood the appeal of Tali that makes so many people fawn over her...but she DOES look incredibly cute in this comic. :3
 

The Wooster

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Valanthe said:
Cute comic. I love Tali's excited pose in panel 2.

I remain one of those few people who actually isn't bothered by the whole "Stock photo" mess. I was actually a little dissapointed that they showed her face at all really, I liked the mystique my imagination brought to it, I guess it's kind of along the same lines as why I think women in more 'reserved' clothes are far sexier than those who walk around with it all hanging out.
Eh, it just seemed lazy to me, and the photoshopping done to the picture looked a little... well, weak. If they wanted to show her real face in the game, there was an awesome fan-made image done that one of the developers even touched up a bit. They should of just used that then given credit to the guy for it.
 

RanD00M

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Ohlookit said:
I don't get it?

-M
"Why can't I hold all these limes" is a stockphoto meme. It's a joke related to the fact that a picture of Tali is in ME3, and it's just a photoshopped stockphoto.
 

NinjaDeathSlap

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Feb 20, 2011
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RJ 17 said:
:p Gotta say, while I've never fully understood the appeal of Tali that makes so many people fawn over her...but she DOES look incredibly cute in this comic. :3
Well, 'dem hips!' are a good place to start :p

In all seriousness though I think she's definitely one of the better written characters. She's flawed but still very likable, and the mask adds an air of mystery (or should I say 'added' -_-). All things considered though I'm more of a Liara man, or Garrus on the occasions where I happen to be a woman.
 

Denamic

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conanthegamer said:
She isn't going to be giving me any pictures. I chose the Geth over the Quarian's and she committed suicide.
Why?
You could just have both.

Also, that apostrophe should not be there.
 

Valanthe

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cursedseishi said:
Valanthe said:
Cute comic. I love Tali's excited pose in panel 2.

I remain one of those few people who actually isn't bothered by the whole "Stock photo" mess. I was actually a little dissapointed that they showed her face at all really, I liked the mystique my imagination brought to it, I guess it's kind of along the same lines as why I think women in more 'reserved' clothes are far sexier than those who walk around with it all hanging out.
Eh, it just seemed lazy to me, and the photoshopping done to the picture looked a little... well, weak. If they wanted to show her real face in the game, there was an awesome fan-made image done that one of the developers even touched up a bit. They should of just used that then given credit to the guy for it.
Good point I suppose, it is a touch lazy, and I can understand where people are coming from when they don't like the fact they used a stock photo. I guess I'm just more dissapointed that they showed her face at all. I mean they tease you with it on Rannoch, and I was almost cheering when they didn't show it then, and then the very next conversation with her is when she gives you the picture. It was a big "god damnit" moment for me.


Also this is completely off topic but whoever was behind changing the Captcha to Solve Media needs to be given a promotion, a raise, and a box of Turian Chocolate, just saying.
 

Andronicus

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Mar 25, 2009
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I understood what the joke was straight away, but I never knew that stock photo before now. Great, now I'm going to have to make one of myself at work holding lemons...
 

RJ 17

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NinjaDeathSlap said:
RJ 17 said:
:p Gotta say, while I've never fully understood the appeal of Tali that makes so many people fawn over her...but she DOES look incredibly cute in this comic. :3
Well, 'dem hips!' are a good place to start :p

In all seriousness though I think she's definitely one of the better written characters. She's flawed but still very likable, and the mask adds an air of mystery (or should I say 'added' -_-). All things considered though I'm more of a Liara man, or Garrus on the occasions where I happen to be a woman.
I'm with Liara through and through. I've done every possible romance option through all the games (cept for Kaiden...poor, poor Kaiden, he's the only crew member of the Normandy that has never gotten some "action" :p). But for my "canon" playthroughs, Liara ends up being my lover whether with FemShep or MaleShep. Personally I think her love story through the entire series is the best written of them all. Think about it: in ME 2, she's the only one that cared to look for you after the destruction of the Normandy, whether you romanced her in ME 1 or not. She gave you to Cerberus, but only because they told her they could bring you back! Sounds like she never gave up on you after you save her from the volcano.
 

Staskala

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Valanthe said:
Cute comic. I love Tali's excited pose in panel 2.

I remain one of those few people who actually isn't bothered by the whole "Stock photo" mess. I was actually a little dissapointed that they showed her face at all really, I liked the mystique my imagination brought to it, I guess it's kind of along the same lines as why I think women in more 'reserved' clothes are far sexier than those who walk around with it all hanging out.
The whole drama wasn't so much about the fact that they photoshopped a stock photo, but because that they did a really terrible job at it. If you look at her hand (the finger placement is completely different from the Quarian anatomy you see in the games, by the way) you can still see the 3rd knuckle from the ring finger.
That's why people accused Bioware of being lazy and such, because it looks like the creator was using photoshop for the first time in his life and did the whole thing in 15 minutes tops.
 

McMarbles

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I don't get it.


...oh, it's a meme... uh huh... yeah, I suppose that its kind of funny in the way "arrow in the knee" was funny (i. e. not fuunny).
 

Aircross

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I'm Commander Shepard...

...and why can't I hold all these limes?

Thanks for the good laugh XD.

Serves Bioware right for being lazy after talking so much about how epic their will be.
 

The Random One

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You are being very insensitive to Quarian culture, Shepard. Their species have learned to adapt to their limitations, such as being identical to stock photo models and being unable to hold large number of limes.

In fact, I'm starting a petition to have the final panel of this strip changed. Also I donated money to cancer research so if you don't sign my petition you're essentially saying you like cancer.
 

Xathos

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OK, that was pretty funny; definitely got a laugh out of me! =D

I mean, I am not at all upset that they used a stock photo and just photoshopped it, and I still laughed. Was glad they showed her face at all.
 

Urgh76

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Hehehe.

Saw this yesterday and loved it, although didn't get the entire Stock photo thing until today xD

Very well done.
 

Irony's Acolyte

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Mar 9, 2010
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Why can't I stop all these Reapers?

It is rather disappointing that Tali just got a stock photo for her reveal. Somewhat because I wanted the Quarian's to be more Alien. We already have human-faced aliens with the Asari...
 

Starke

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conanthegamer said:
She isn't going to be giving me any pictures. I chose the Geth over the Quarian's and she committed suicide. Whats really bad is we did the horizontal hop in Mass Effect 2. And after we met in 3 she was giving me all sorts innuendo while she was alive.
I'm told, that's actually how you're supposed to get the photo. It pops up after she's offed herself, though I'm not sure where.
 

BX3

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McMarbles said:
I don't get it.


...oh, it's a meme... uh huh... yeah, I suppose that its kind of funny in the way "arrow in the knee" was funny (i. e. not fuunny).
*sigh* Yknow, I didn't get it either at first, so I'm not gonna be a dick to you. Just... for future reference, try not to sound like such a... well... tool(?) when expressing that you don't get/like a joke.

Anyway, this should clear some things up.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/116202-BioWare-Uses-Stock-Photo-for-Tali-in-Mass-Effect-3
 

DeadlyYellow

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Ohlookit said:
I don't get it?

-M
Don't you just hate it when media use a meme punchline that you've never heard of?

Hell, I first thought it was Cole McGrath, which made even less sense.
 

Dreadjaws

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RJ 17 said:
:p Gotta say, while I've never fully understood the appeal of Tali that makes so many people fawn over her...but she DOES look incredibly cute in this comic. :3
Well, I don't know about other people, but I find her voice very alluring. Also, the air of mistery she has makes her more interesting. I would have prefered it if they didn't show her face.
 

BanZeus

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The Random One said:
You are being very insensitive to Quarian culture, Shepard. Their species have learned to adapt to their limitations, such as being identical to stock photo models and being unable to hold large number of limes.

In fact, I'm starting a petition to have the final panel of this strip changed. Also I donated money to cancer immunodeficiency research so if you don't sign my petition you're essentially saying you like cancer immunodeficiency.
Fixed. :)

Dreadjaws said:
RJ 17 said:
:p Gotta say, while I've never fully understood the appeal of Tali that makes so many people fawn over her...but she DOES look incredibly cute in this comic. :3
Well, I don't know about other people, but I find her voice very alluring. Also, the air of mistery she has makes her more interesting. I would have prefered it if they didn't show her face.
Agreed, there was nothing to be gained by showing her face except angry nerds posting messages on... Whoops, almost opened up a self-referential singularity there...
 

weirdee

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Apr 11, 2011
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I'm weirdguy, and this is my favorite joke commentary of Tali's photo on the interwebs.

alternatively, I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite fruit in the Citadel
 

Kajin

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Apr 13, 2008
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Why is Obama trying to hold all of those limes?
 

The Wooster

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So Tali is actually a generical stock photo lady with a few minor tweaks to make her at least seem not human? And this is another reason why I hate Mass Effect so very, very, veeeeeeery much.
 

shrekfan246

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Know what's hilarious? Since my Shepard managed to save both the Quarians and the Geth, I never even saw the supposed picture everyone got all worked up about. Imagine that. And even if I had managed to trigger it, I've got no clue where to look for it. And yet the Internet in its infinite wisdom needed to make a huge fuss over it. I've got a feeling that the in-game picture isn't even a high enough resolution to see well anyway.

Since memes are the topic of conversation in this strip, "Haters gonna hate."
 

Proverbial Jon

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McMarbles said:
I don't get it.


...oh, it's a meme... uh huh... yeah, I suppose that its kind of funny in the way "arrow in the knee" was funny (i. e. not fuunny).
Well technically the joke is that Shepard's picture in the comic is a photoshopped stock image. It's a reference to the fact that Bioware used a photoshopped stock image for Tali in Mass Effect 3 instead of making their own image from scratch. It has nothing to do with memes. Although no doubt the whole Tali/stock photo thing will spawn a meme soon enough.


Mr.Tea said:
Major Kirrahe says: Hold the lime!
That joke really shouldn't have been as hilarious as I found it!
 

Salakayin

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Mr.Tea said:
Grey Carter said:
Mass Effect: Stock Exchange

The Big Reveal

Read Full Article
Major Kirrahe says: Hold the lime!
At first, I read that as how its suppose to be. Normal self auto-correct! Then I actually read it properly. That's just too good and hilarious, for some reason. I don't know why! But I am entertained nonetheless. Props to ya, good sir!

As for the comic itself, well approached. It was a fairly lazy route to take for them in terms of Tali's photo, and not even well done at that. If it just had to be a reveal, it should have been approached with better tact. Or just another un-reveal.
 

weirdee

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shrekfan246 said:
Know what's hilarious? Since my Shepard managed to save both the Quarians and the Geth, I never even saw the supposed picture everyone got all worked up about. Imagine that. And even if I had managed to trigger it, I've got no clue where to look for it. And yet the Internet in its infinite wisdom needed to make a huge fuss over it. I've got a feeling that the in-game picture isn't even a high enough resolution to see well anyway.

Since memes are the topic of conversation in this strip, "Haters gonna hate."
If you are in a relationship with her, you don't have to kill her to get the picture :p
 

Faegis

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This comic made me think that maybe BioWare is playing a joke here. Maybe the point is that Tali HERSELF has (poorly) photoshopped the picture to appear more beautiful and human-like to Shepard.

That probably isn´t the case, Shepard having made sweet love to her in ME2 and therefore (supposedly) seen her face. Or maybe she´s one of those girls who never remove the helmet, not even during sex. Seen a few of those in my time...
 

Gather

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Staskala said:
Valanthe said:
Cute comic. I love Tali's excited pose in panel 2.

I remain one of those few people who actually isn't bothered by the whole "Stock photo" mess. I was actually a little dissapointed that they showed her face at all really, I liked the mystique my imagination brought to it, I guess it's kind of along the same lines as why I think women in more 'reserved' clothes are far sexier than those who walk around with it all hanging out.
The whole drama wasn't so much about the fact that they photoshopped a stock photo, but because that they did a really terrible job at it. If you look at her hand (the finger placement is completely different from the Quarian anatomy you see in the games, by the way) you can still see the 3rd knuckle from the ring finger.
That's why people accused Bioware of being lazy and such, because it looks like the creator was using photoshop for the first time in his life and did the whole thing in 15 minutes tops.
There is also that subtle time traveling problem where the only time Tali would be outside in the sunlight like that would be before the Geth took over... And that's 300 years ago.
 

Kapol

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shrekfan246 said:
Know what's hilarious? Since my Shepard managed to save both the Quarians and the Geth, I never even saw the supposed picture everyone got all worked up about. Imagine that. And even if I had managed to trigger it, I've got no clue where to look for it. And yet the Internet in its infinite wisdom needed to make a huge fuss over it. I've got a feeling that the in-game picture isn't even a high enough resolution to see well anyway.

Since memes are the topic of conversation in this strip, "Haters gonna hate."
As Weirdguy said, you can get it without her killing herself (which I didn't even knew happened). Just keep talking to her and she'll tell you she left something in your room. Then it's on a frame by the bed. At least it was for me. It actually seemed to be a different image then the one you see if she does kill herself... at least I think. It was kinda hard to see.

Gather said:
There is also that subtle time traveling problem where the only time Tali would be outside in the sunlight like that would be before the Geth took over... And that's 300 years ago.
But, if you do save her, doesn't she take off her mask anyways? I know she does on the Normandy depending on a few things too. Of course the image still doesn't make much sense overall... but meh. That's about how I feel about every ME3 controversy at this point though.
 

HK_01

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Haha! Thanks to the comments I now actually get it!

Well, anyway, if that's true, then yeah, that's an extremely weak reveal...
 

WindKnight

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Ok, as (a) a fan of the character who has (b) seen the picture in question ad will (c) likely have to wait five months to play the game, can I ask those screaming about the stock phot thing -

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Your calling this a 'betrayal'? Does it really mater whether this rather nice picture is 100% original or not?

Honestly, I'm more angry at those who decided to post the image alongside a massive and shocking spoiler just to be a-holes, especially as said shocking spoiler is completely avertable.
 

The Wooster

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well it could had been worse

i wished they had used this image

high-res: http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2011/09/hq-no-mask-tali-by-dannybates-d3atepj.jpg

instead of turning tali into a slightly altered smurf/na'vi.

to the op:
nice.
i think we should create a meme where people just google random images of short hair /bald men and alter them to look like shepard.


shrekfan246 said:
Know what's hilarious? Since my Shepard managed to save both the Quarians and the Geth, I never even saw the supposed picture everyone got all worked up about. Imagine that. And even if I had managed to trigger it, I've got no clue where to look for it. And yet the Internet in its infinite wisdom needed to make a huge fuss over it. I've got a feeling that the in-game picture isn't even a high enough resolution to see well anyway.

Since memes are the topic of conversation in this strip, "Haters gonna hate."
there you go

you just need to romance tali to get the picture and let her commit suicide.

and she does take her mask off to feel the sunlight on her face on her homeworld when she survives.

and please look now at the picture. let the carnage begin!

- quarians supposed to live as long as humans (80-100 years)
- the quarians have been exiled from their homeworld around 300 years ago.
- tali has never seen her homeworld nor felt the sun on her skin. she always wore her suit.

and now find the things that contradict the lore! i dare you!

edit:
tali, smart as she is, just gave you on of these random stock photos that are always included in picture frames when you buy it.
 

Something Amyss

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ravenshrike said:
Well, it's the last part of the love affair until the rumored DLC comes out and we see which theories are right.
I think you mean "unless," since it's rumoured, not confirmed. If there's a chance it doesn't come out....
 

Ohlookit'sMatty

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RanD00M said:
Ohlookit said:
I don't get it?

-M
"Why can't I hold all these limes" is a stockphoto meme. It's a joke related to the fact that a picture of Tali is in ME3, and it's just a photoshopped stockphoto.
Ah yes, I remember reading about that // I think I was just a bit slow on the uptake with this one

-M
 

chadachada123

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Windknight said:
Ok, as (a) a fan of the character who has (b) seen the picture in question ad will (c) likely have to wait five months to play the game, can I ask those screaming about the stock phot thing -

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Your calling this a 'betrayal'? Does it really mater whether this rather nice picture is 100% original or not?

Honestly, I'm more angry at those who decided to post the image alongside a massive and shocking spoiler just to be a-holes, especially as said shocking spoiler is completely avertable.
No one's saying that it's a betrayal. It's just incredibly lazy, a terrible sign for developers that have, overall, a great deal of skill in art and storytelling.

Imagine if, partway through Avatar or some other AAA movie, you see large wires suspending some creature in the sky, and that the creatures are made of cheap paper mache. You'd be pretty pissed, especially if the director used to be known for originality and not cutting corners.

Meatstorm said:
Why can't i hold all these endings?
But you can hold them just fine, there are only three of them =X
 

WindKnight

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Except I've SEEN the picture. I really liked it, felt it represented the character nicely. it doesn't bother me at all that it was a stock photo, and I feel people have jumped on it and blown it all out of proportion just because they want another reason to beat bioware over the head for doing something 'wrong'.