MetroidNutQuest 2012

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Be violently assaulted by some otaku in pointy shades, apparently this is his house.

You turn around to discover DIRK PACE standing in the direction that was previously behind you. This guy is your neighbor? Wow, you need to get out of the house more often. Anyway, DIRK sure came in pretty quickly. He already shut the door behind him, as if he never used it at all. Guy's like some kinda fuggin' NINJA. Probably one made of TIGERS.

Regardless, you're not entirely convinced those red things on his face are sunglasses.

>Pappytech: Stop predicting canon during the painfully long time it takes me to draw things, you DIRTY COMMUNIST.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Perform an acrobatic pirouette out of the house, digress for just a moment to do an interpretive dance to the song "Forget You" by Cee-Lo, get that tiger, get back on the main track and appearify in room.

You cannot get the TIGER. It is simply too fast.

Speaking of TIGERS, where did DIRK go?

 

[Pappytech]

>Pappytech: Grumpily agree to obey the CAPITALIST PIG. You filthy bastard.

 

[SamuelT]

>MN: Get out your MEATY FIST and make some kind of WITTY ONE LINER COMPLETE WITH GLASSES MANOUVER before turning the corner to the left

 

[Technetium]

>MN: Gandhi

 

[VuvuZelaMan]

>MN: Look at the CEILING and see if DIRK is there. If you see him, apologize for breaking in.

 

[Viking Incognito]

>MN: loudly proclaim "I know where you are!" to scare the tiger-ninja out of hiding then kick him in the nuts while he goes on an inevitable anime-villain-style rant about how you got lucky and can't possibly defeat him.

Since I thought all that intro business on the first page was fun, I'll give it a shot.

Hi I'm Viking Incognito and compared to me you are all chimps. My staggering intellect surpasses anything you could ever hope to be. Don't even try disputing it because you will fail miserably and I could literally deconstruct your entire way of life with my mind. So just wallow in your inferiority. You worms.

 

[Pappytech]

>MN: Attempt to not get punched in the face by your OTAKU foe. Fail to do so.

 

[Robert632]

> Equip MEATY FIST and calmly walk out because DIRK is not a threat to your MEATY FIST

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Get out your MEATY FIST and make some kind of WITTY ONE LINER COMPLETE WITH GLASSES MANOUVER before turning the corner to the left

You try to think of a fitting one-liner.

Hate to shoot and ru-

Your thoughts are interrupted by the ACCOSTATIONS of a MYSTERIOUS BLUR! You think you taste a tinge of blood.

>MetroidNutQuest 2012: Officially begin use of animated GIFs.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Loudly proclaim "I know where you are!" to scare the tiger-ninja out of hiding then kick him in the nuts while he goes on an inevitable anime-villain-style rant about how you got lucky and can't possibly defeat him.

You exclaim your knowledge of his position, but he doesn't respond! He seems to be a bit preoccupied being TOTALLY BADASS.

 

[MetroidNut]

>Equip MEATY FIST and calmly walk out because DIRK is not a threat to your MEATY FIST.

Your SHITTY AIRSOFT REVOLVER is nowhere to be found! Why, that dastardly DIRK PACE must have swiped it! While simultaneously punching you in the face! In the blink of an eye!

But you are absolutely certain you can take him.

 

[CJ1145]

>MN: Go upstairs. Otakus gravitate toward higher spaces.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

>MN: Enlist the help of your African-American moirail

 

[SamuelT]

>MN: Check hidden compartiment in pocket to see if DP snatched your METROID SMUT

 

[Viking Incognito]

>MN: Beg and plead forgiveness and grovel pathetically or whatever it takes to get him to face you, then punch him repeatedly in the nuts.

 

[Pappytech]

>MN: Ascend to the highest point of the building. Play some epic music while doing so.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: Check hidden compartiment in pocket to see if DP snatched your METROID SMUT.

You don't care how good this guy is, you keep that shit locked up TIGHT! Him finding it would be simply inconceivable.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MN: What the fuck are you doing, get the hell out! Game over, man, game over!

Maybe you could build a fire and sing a couple of songs, huh? Why don't you try that?! Because you can't leave without your SHITTY AIRSOFT REVOLVER!

 

[Robert632]

>Take and equip his DOOR as a weapon, then start breaking stuff with it. starting with his stairs.