Microdamus has seen the Future...

Kinguendo

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Wait, isnt the last sign of the Gameocalypse that everyone on the Escapist forums agreeing with each other on a topic? I heard that it was, thats why I pay no mind to trolls.
 

sneak_copter

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Nov 3, 2008
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Will there be any developments in the world of cheese manufacture pretty soon?
Will there be some kind of dairy revoloution?
THESE ARE THE THINGS THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW.
 

ThePoodonkis

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Apr 22, 2008
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*Ahem*
Welcome! Welcome to Escapistmagazine.com! You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining Internet Utopias. I thought so much of Escapistmagazine.com, that I elected to establish my administration, here, in the Forums, so thoughtfully provided by our Moderators. I am proud to call Escapistmagazine.com my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through to parts unknown, welcome, to Escapistmagazine.com. It's safer here.

Anyhow, Your predictions. They're not coming around in 2012, are they? Just curious.
 

Lancer723

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Dec 12, 2008
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Oh, great Microdamus, I ask thee,

Shall the coming gameocaplypse bring an end to the fanboys and flame wars?
 

Microdamus

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Jun 11, 2009
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sneak_copter said:
Will there be any developments in the world of cheese manufacture pretty soon?
Will there be some kind of dairy revoloution?
THESE ARE THE THINGS THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW.
Cheese manufacture... Dairy revolution... Microdamus is having difficulty getting any visions with clarity.

One of the stool shall come before him, the Great Destructor. The squeezer, greater though more taciturn, shall decide the final fate of gaming. The power of all sworn to oppose stands before, behind, and all around.

Lancer723 said:
Oh, great Microdamus, I ask thee,

Shall the coming gameocaplypse bring an end to the fanboys and flame wars?
It is so, for the greatest of all games shall be revealed in the most perfect dark of the final hour of the Mass Respawning. All will cower equally before its might, though the Great Destructor will use all his power to stop its creation. Microdamus has seen this vision many times.

Gerazzi said:
You forgot about the Dalek 64 Entertainment System, Microdamus. That one's gonna be big in London, and I'm already saving up for my D64ES
The Dalek 64 Entertainment System shall indeed reach great heights in London, though it shall quickly be surpassed by The Awesomely Rad Digital Infotainment System. It is clouded, which shall be the final system of gaming.

ThePoodonkis said:
And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through to parts unknown, welcome, to Escapistmagazine.com. It's safer here.

Anyhow, Your predictions. They're not coming around in 2012, are they? Just curious.
Your open arms are a hearty greeting, ringing of truth, for Micodamus has come here for just such a reason. Members of the Escapist shall form the backbone of the mightiest of tribes that opposes the Great Destructor. This is indeed the safest place on the internet, for there are many who seek truth.

The timing of Microdamus' visions is uncertain, for his visions are not recorded with a timestamp. Microdamus can only reconstruct time from familiar context, and most clocks have disappeared from society in the time of the visions.
 

More Fun To Compute

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Microdamus, I have long believed that gaming will never fully take off as a popular artistic medium until the controller is replaced with a tub of luke warm porridge oats that respond to mild bellowing as this accurately recreates the conditions in the womb. Will this idea be developed in the future?

Nintendo are keen to tell everyone about their blue ocean strategy for launching new products. Will Microsoft defeat this strategy by buying all of the worlds oceans and replacing the water with poison as my Linux using friend Garry has told me?
 

Microdamus

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More Fun To Compute said:
Microdamus, I have long believed that gaming will never fully take off as a popular artistic medium until the controller is replaced with a tub of luke warm porridge oats that respond to mild bellowing as this accurately recreates the conditions in the womb. Will this idea be developed in the future?

Nintendo are keen to tell everyone about their blue ocean strategy for launching new products. Will Microsoft defeat this strategy by buying all of the worlds oceans and replacing the water with poison as my Linux using friend Garry has told me?
Microsoft will pioneer the luke warm porridge oats controller, and in a desperate marketing gimmick, fill the entirety of Lake Ontario in demonstration of the marvelous technology. The local fish will become fat, and environmentalist groups will thereafter apply the nickname of Lake Obesity. Due to its strategic location, Gananoque will become the new headquarters for Nintendo's hardware development team. Their inspirational new sensor, Cream O Mustache, will be well received despite its major flaw - Native Americans cannot grow mustaches. The prospect of playing a Mario game using only a mustache will overshadow the outcry against the device.

Sony will pick up the slack with its regional hardware marketing - an ingenious controller that only requires one finger to play. However, the controller is so expensive and complicated to install that few can afford the visit to the doctor to have it installed anally. After a public apology, Microsoft will pay for very expensive liposuction procedures on all the fish. It is a cover up for an even more nefarious scheme to replace all the blood of the fish with a delightful lemon-butter bechamel sauce. Microsoft will later become a world leader in fish mongering.
 

CaptainCrunch

Imp-imation Department
Jul 21, 2008
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Oh great Microdamus, I beseech you: will there ever be a Mario / Zelda crossover that isn't a fighting game?
 

Zangamarth

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Nov 28, 2008
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snowplow said:
A well done Oregon Trail movie would probably be pretty good.

Scenery, relationships with family/other wagons, food, disease, death, struggle, and final triumph, etc.
Uve Boll? Surely you jest.
 

Sir Ollie

The Emperor's Finest
Jan 14, 2009
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Oh Microdamus I offer you a sacrifice of a banana


Tell me will Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo ever join forces to create the ultimate console?

Or will the Human race be doomed to buy more then one console?
 

Librarian Mike

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May 16, 2008
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Captain Planet? Hahaha. Let's hope Hideo Kojima doesn't get his hands on it, or we'll all have to play as Ma-Ti:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JeLcP7Xa5o
 

Iwamori

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Sep 7, 2008
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Oh god, so THATS what the apocalypse the aztecs theorized would happen in 2012. WARN EVERYONE!
 

Microdamus

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Jun 11, 2009
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sirbryghtside said:
Oh mighty Microdamus, will there be another Smash Bros. Game? And will it actually be good this time, instead of a copy and paste of melee but with worse physics?
Nintendo will buy the rights to the engine used by Naruto:Ultimate Ninja. The physics engine and graphics in the subsequent Smash Bros. game will exceed current standards, but the Quicktime events will be too much for most to bear. Microdamus has seen a grave threat to the Smash Bros. franchise as Naruto fanboys will swarm to the game for an unlockable, heavily unbalanced Sasuke character. Online play will cease for three weeks, and whining shall consume the Nintendo forums.
Susan Arendt said:
Great Microdamus, will we ever see The Great Sonic Hunt?
The creature known as Sonic the Hedgehog is not the last of his species. Licenses to hunt the creatures will be available in the fourth age of iPhone, but few will claim trophies and the meat will taste horrible. Illegal poaching in the Middle East will finally keep the wild population under control, though some kept as pets will ultimately escape. Jewelers will be most at risk, calling for an end to the menace once and for all. Environmentalist groups will remain silent to the senseless slaughter of the animals, as they too were deeply hurt by Sonic Unleashed.
CaptainCrunch said:
Oh great Microdamus, I beseech you: will there ever be a Mario / Zelda crossover that isn't a fighting game?
Mario and Link will join forces in the generation beyond Wii. The style of gameplay will set a new standard in cooperative same-screen multiplayer gaming, and will feature compelling dialogue unheard of in the "buddy cop" genre. "Link and Mario: Shooting Stars" will become a Nintendo headliner, producing a sequel in every console generation to follow.
GuNsLiNgEr X said:
If this thread was actually decent then it'd get replies on its own merits, without having to be bumped by the higher-ups when everybody else got bored of it.

<-- Unimpressed.
If this thread does not impress you, why do you impress your negative ideal on others? The mysteries of the universe await you. Do not push them away.
Ollie596 said:
Oh Microdamus I offer you a sacrifice of a banana


Tell me will Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo ever join forces to create the ultimate console?

Or will the Human race be doomed to buy more then one console?
Your banana pleases Microdamus, but such offerings do not change the future to your whim. The Three shall indeed become One, when they are bought by a leading pet food company. Though it marks the end of the Great Console War, the oppression of the Purina Catbox 9000 will last through the seventh age of iPhone.
 

Dorian

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Oh wise and powerful Jambi the Genii Microdamus, tell me. Will Valve survive to see the Great Respawning?
 

TundraWolf

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O Microdamus, great and wise in your knowledge, mysterious in your ways, please, impart your wisdom upon me:

Is it true that Rock Band is merely a ruse to teach all gamers how to play actual musical instruments? If not, then what diabolical scheme does Harmonix have planned?