Microsoft Applied to Patent TV Achievements

[scorptatious]

My brother theorizes that the Xbox One (or Xbone if you will) is a dummy system so they can announce a better console in comparison at E3. With this I'm starting to think he might be on to something.

If that is the case, Microsoft are the biggest bunch of trolls in gaming history.

OT: So now they intend to control what people watch using achievements. Great. Microsoft, you're just digging farther and farther down.

 

[scorptatious]

I don't care what anyone says, there is no way you can go for these achievements and not look pathetic. And if Microsoft gives achievements for advertisements, then I think it's safe to say that Microsoft are all idiots.

On a related note, who votes we move all discussion of the Xbone from the Gaming Discussion to Off-topic Discussion forums?

I wouldn't mind that. We can get back to talking about the games that we love instead of the console we despise.

 

[CyberMachinist]

I got some achievements to add to the growing pile.

Achievement Unlocked: kinnect-ing the dots - 100G
-Watch 10 ads about the Xbox one.
Achievement Unlocked: Your Reality - 50G
-watch 5 different reality tv shows.
Achievement Unlocked: Electric Avenue - 250G
-Watch 50 ads relating to electronics.
Achievement Unlocked: MicroSlave - 1000G
-Buy more Xbox one's.

 

[SilverBullets000]

Achievement- Size counts
You are now wider then your HDTV screen.

This is gold. Actually, all the joke acheivments in this thread are hilarious, but this one was the one that opened the floodgate. You also have Mable as an icon. I congratulate you for both those things.

I may have to invest in a sex doll or CPR dummy to trick the Kinect into thinking I actually watch all their crap

Considering that it can tell what your face looks like, read your heart beat, see in the dark via heat-scanning, and listen for your voice in a room full of people; I doubt that would work...but-
Achievment Unlocked-Hello Baby-5G
Introduce the Kinect to one of your "special" buddies.

 

[NLS]

Hey, doesn't the escapist give you "achievements" ( badges) for watching episodes of zero punctuation and so on?
Yeah I think it does.

 

[Vivid Kazumi]

Am i the only person who could see the gold of this if we can get game of throne's tv acheivment's?

well he won't make it to the next season 5g- see you're first grunt death

booby's! 15g-did you see that whore flash her teet's?

 

[Lazy Kitty]

Achievement: Watched TV for 1 week straight without falling asleep.
Achievement: Earned Microsoft lots of money tby watching ads.
Achievement; Get brainwashed by a Skinnerbox One to become a mindless minion that will help us take over the world for achievements. Maybe if you overthrow your government and give control to Microsoft, we'll give you more achievements.

 

[Jaythulhu]

Achievement Unlocked: The Computer Is Your Friend
- Watched every PoS video that M$ "suggested" for a month

Achievement Unlocked: That's Above Your Security Clearance, Citizen
- Attempted to plug a rival system into the same device as the Xbone

Achievement Unlocked: That's Your Last Clone, Citizen
- Survive a massive heart attack & the corresponding triple bypass from overindulging on snacks because your Xbone won't let you turn it off or move from the couch

... Seriously, did anyone else immediately think this is gonna be the logo for the next M$ product?

 

[dontlooknow]

Wow, I read the title and just thought "well that seems another stupid idea from Microsoft, not exactly in short supply of those this week." But after reading the actual article, I've got to say that's the most fucking heinous, manipulative and downright reprehensible idea I've heard - a nice big cherry on the 'fuck xbone' cake.

 

[Sewa_Yunga]

Achievement unlocked: Show your friends - 200 G
- post a "Let's Watch" for a complete series on Youtube.

Achievement unlocked: It's dangerous to watch alone - 50 G
- invite someone from the suggested friends list over.

I can totally see that happen. Kinect looks for people that are sitting alone in front of the TV, then checks if those people live near each other. If it finds someone they're shown on a list.

 

[SteewpidZombie]

Possible Achievement List!:

-Turned on TV!
-Volume Up!
-Volume Down!
-Switched Channel!
-Pressed Menu!
-Changed Screen Size!
-Turned Off Subtitles!
-Turned On Subtitles!
-Changed Remote Batteries!
-Watched Discovery Channel!
-Watched Sports!
-Spent 69 Hours In Total On Porn!
-Microsoft Owns Your Ass!

 

[Zeren]

That sounds horrible. I don't want anything in my house that watches me like that. I now have even more reason to never buy the Xbone.

 

[Yopaz]

Wow, so now you can sit and watch TV and fell like you've accomplished something. This is a disgusting idea.

Exactly my thought. You just watched a Marathon of The Simpsons: Achievement!
You just sat through the commercial break without changing channels: Achievement!
You just shouted at the TV while watching football: Achievement!
Stupid idea if I ever saw one. "Achievements" accomplished by doing nothing.

How can this possibly be considered patentable?

A single company owns a patent on the genetic strand that makes women pre-disposed to develop breast or cervical cancer.
They use it to maintain a monopoly on genetic testing for the strand.
American copyright laws are really fucked up.

We don't possess the rights to any of our genes. It's a strange world. What I want to know is it piracy to reproduce since we make duplicates of genes without the company's permission?

 

[Bat Vader]

Interesting but at the same time this sounds like a silly idea as well. I thought the whole point of achievements was to achieve something. Sitting in front of the TV and having an achievement pop up saying 1000 hours watched seems more like the opposite of that. Unless that is the point and they want to try and get people off the couch by showing them how much of their lives they spent watching it.

I do have a few ideas for achievements too.

Cancelled/Short Lived/Gotta "Love" Fox
Watched the entire series of Firefly.

Closure
Watched Serenity.

 

[Xarathox]

Wow, so now you can sit and watch TV and fell like you've accomplished something. This is a disgusting idea.

Even moreso because it's an attempt to use very basic Pavlovian conditioning to make people watch specific programs. It's not just disgusting, it's kind of evil.

It's not even kinda evil, it's wholly evil. Even the government hasn't pushed for this kind of surveillance in the home, but Microsoft just handed them the fucking keys.

 

[Balkan]

Microsoft seems to have lost touch with the rest of humanity. Who wants this sort of thing? They are trying to appeal to some sort of imaginary audience, or even worse - create one. Achievments worked because you had to ACHIEVE them. TV is not interactive and the only choice you've got is which program you're going to watch. It could work as a masked commercial, but I doubt that it would be more effective than the traditional way of promoting.

 

[triggrhappy94]

We don't possess the rights to any of our genes. It's a strange world. What I want to know is it piracy to reproduce since we make duplicates of genes without the company's permission?

Do you know how much money genetics company loses every year from piracy?
Where's SOPA for genetics?
It's especially bad when you realize your cells illegally make copies of them selves every day or so.

 

[The Great JT]

Oh my god, you're really doing this, aren't you, Microsoft? I would almost call this industrial suicide, for lack of a better term, but you are really making it so that we really get achievements for doing nothing! Microsoft, this is the kind of thing people make fun of things for. It's literally on par with getting an achievement for hitting New Game.

Microsoft...do you WANT to stop making money? 'Cause judging by this, you don't want a single dollar ever again.

 

[RJ Dalton]

Wow, so now you can sit and watch TV and fell like you've accomplished something. This is a disgusting idea.

Even moreso because it's an attempt to use very basic Pavlovian conditioning to make people watch specific programs. It's not just disgusting, it's kind of evil.

It's not even kinda evil, it's wholly evil. Even the government hasn't pushed for this kind of surveillance in the home, but Microsoft just handed them the fucking keys.

In United States, television watch you!