Microsoft Applied to Patent TV Achievements

DrunkOnEstus

In the name of Harman...
May 11, 2012
1,712
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Achievements:

Did you get a card for that?
(Left bong on coffee table)

You must know him by name.
(Order 3 pizzas in one week)

Say hello to my little friend!
(Do a line without turning your Xbox off)

Is that for your liver, or your homies?
(Drink a 40 oz during a TV show)

The Regressor
(Watch an MLP season premiere, as a grown man wearing no pants)

Yeah that's about what I've got. They're gonna make a lot of money from TV studios and I personally want fucking none of this in my house. None. Of. It.
 

EstrogenicMuscle

New member
Sep 7, 2012
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Wenseph said:
Maybe they should just stop marketing it as a game console altogether.
But isn't that what they're doing right now?

Did they actually mention that the XBOX One was a game console during the conference? If they did, I somehow missed it.
 

Frezzato

New member
Oct 17, 2012
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"...In other words, if a person were to watch a certain program or series of videos, the system in question could track that and reward the viewer for doing so."
I'm sure that, if implemented, people will still cheat the system by leaving their units and TVs on. That would probably lead to Microsoft quietly updating their Xbone Kinect software to track the eyes and heartbeats of customers to make sure they're in the same room, watching the TV screen.
[hr]
Hell, I've been waiting for years for stuff like DVD players and toasters that required webcams in order to work. Even better if it has 1080p resolution and phoned home every 24 hours. It's about damn time!

No, I'm just being paranoid. Having your picture taken without explicit permission? That will never happen of course [http://www.dancecentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118&pagenumber]. And the always-on Kinect will never get hacked. How could it? It's not as if Microsoft rushes the design and construction of their own hardware [http://www.ign.com/articles/2008/02/26/new-info-on-360-death-rate-study]. Their stuff is all solidly planned out [http://www.zdnet.com/blog/btl/the-top-five-reasons-why-windows-vista-failed/10303], and their products are extremely secure [http://www.tomshardware.com/news/AV-TEST-Certification-Security-Essentials-Double-Failure-0-Day,20524.html]. And the fears about games requiring internet connections are overblown. Years from now, Microsoft will support their hardware [http://www.engadget.com/2011/03/14/microsoft-reportedly-kills-off-zune-hardware-will-focus-on-soft/]. They wouldn't abandon their customers [http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2010/06/four-reasons-why-microsofts-kin-phone-failed/]. And, while they might openly consider selling your very personal data [http://www.engadget.com/2010/11/15/microsoft-exec-caught-in-privacy-snafu-says-kinect-might-tailor/], and maybe even apply for patents for the sale of such data [http://www.engadget.com/2007/07/31/microsoft-envisions-invasive-approach-to-targeted-advertising/], they probably promise to never, ever do that. Microsoft cares about our concerns [http://news.yahoo.com/microsoft-exec-resigns-telling-users-deal-regarding-always-200558619.html].

And even if they don't really care, they can just hide it in the EULA [http://www.techspot.com/news/48784-updated-microsoft-eula-prohibits-class-action-lawsuits.html].

[hr]

Blink once if you accept the terms of use for Xbox One with mandatory Kinect.


Thank you.
 

tehroc

New member
Jul 6, 2009
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What's next it won't be able to play DVD/Blueray Movies without registering them with MPAA?
 

dessertmonkeyjk

New member
Nov 5, 2010
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Okay then Microsoft... let's see how you like your Kinect covered by a very thick cloth. If I want to use it, I'll do it when "I" choose to do so.
 

Sixcess

New member
Feb 27, 2010
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dessertmonkeyjk said:
Okay then Microsoft... let's see how you like your Kinect covered by a very thick cloth. If I want to use it, I'll do it when "I" choose to do so.
Achievement Unlocked: Hey, who turned out the lights?
 

Roander

New member
Dec 27, 2009
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Sixcess said:
dessertmonkeyjk said:
Okay then Microsoft... let's see how you like your Kinect covered by a very thick cloth. If I want to use it, I'll do it when "I" choose to do so.
Achievement Unlocked: Hey, who turned out the lights?
Achievement Unlocked: I can't let you do that, Dave. -- activate the Kinect's "self defense" protocols by preventing it from spying on you.
 

Evil Smurf

Admin of Catoholics Anonymous
Nov 11, 2011
11,597
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This seems like a fun idea. And I have a few more achievements:

Treason
Plug in a previous generation to your tv

come on ref!
watch sports and get angry.
 

Sir Pootis

New member
Aug 4, 2012
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I don't care what anyone says, there is no way you can go for these achievements and not look pathetic. And if Microsoft gives achievements for advertisements, then I think it's safe to say that Microsoft are all idiots.

On a related note, who votes we move all discussion of the Xbone from the Gaming Discussion to Off-topic Discussion forums?
 

Zanderinfal

New member
Nov 21, 2009
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Christ above, Microsoft must be WANTING us to not give them our money. Jesus, how far will these greedy sods go? TV Achievements, no used games, a semi-always on DRM system, no backwards compatibility and more...

It's official, Microsoft is putting a bullet in the back of their own head at this point.
 

TheSteeleStrap

New member
May 7, 2008
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You mean it can see what I watch and suggest similar programming! Wow, if only someone had thought of this sooner. /sarcasm
 

MeChaNiZ3D

New member
Aug 30, 2011
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It's just like achievements already, except without the possibility of some of them requiring effort. Most nowadays are watch a cutscene, reach the next chapter, collect all the things, which translates nicely into watching whole episodes, watching whole series, and watching shows one after the other. Although it would be funny if the Kinect could pick up laughter and give you a subtle "Got the reference" achievement.
 

Bullfrog1983

New member
Dec 3, 2008
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Adam Jensen said:
Wow, so now you can sit and watch TV and fell like you've accomplished something. This is a disgusting idea.
I couldn't stop laughing, but I kind of feel the same way about 'achievements' in games.