Monkey Paw thread

[gorfias]

Granted. And you now have 6 arms with which to do it.

I wish I could eat all I want without getting fat.

 

[Xprimentyl]

I wish I could eat all I want without getting fat.

Granted, but your appetites is completely insatiable; you're starving 100% of the time.

I wish I could go back in time and relive any moment of my life at will.

 

[Drathnoxis]

Granted, but your appetites is completely insatiable; you're starving 100% of the time.

I wish I could go back in time and relive any moment of my life at will.

Granted, but the person you hate most is taken along and does commentary.

I wish I didn't have sensitive teeth. Too easy.
I wish I was king of the world.

 

[Mister Mumbler]

I wish I was king of the world.

Granted. No one believes you, so you are reduced to shouting your kingly stature from a street corner as a crazy (albeit well-dressed) hobo.

I wish I could talk and communicate better.

 

[Drathnoxis]

Granted. No one believes you, so you are reduced to shouting your kingly stature from a street corner as a crazy (albeit well-dressed) hobo.

I wish I could talk and communicate better.

Granted, but you speak in an ancient language that nobody understands.

I wish life had meaning.

 

[Asita]

Granted.

Life: Noun.

1. The condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.
2. the existence of an individual human being or animal.
3. the period between the birth and death of a living thing, especially a human being.
4. vitality, vigor, or energy.
5. (in art) the depiction of a subject from a real model, rather than from an artist's imagination.

I wish I could play the violin.

 

[Xprimentyl]

I wish I could play the violin.

Granted, but your skills are limited to covers of shitty '80s bands' songs.

I wish I could sustain a healthy lifestyle on French fries and cold-cut sandwiches.

 

[BrawlMan]

Granted, but your skills are limited to covers of shitty '80s bands' songs.

I wish I could sustain a healthy lifestyle on French fries and cold-cut sandwiches.

You get your wish, but in return any actual healthy foods hurt you, makes you sick, or poison you.

All I wish for is Viewtiful Joe 3.

 

[Xprimentyl]

You get your wish, but in return any actual healthy foods hurt you, makes you sick, or poison you.

That's... actually a pretty sweet deal.

All I wish for is Viewtiful Joe 3.

Granted, but you lose your sight and use of both your hands in a tragic masturbation accident.

I wish @BrawlMan was an actual genie.

 

[Drathnoxis]

I wish @BrawlMan was an actual genie.

Granted, but he's the non-wish-granting kind.

I wish Swordless Link would return from the void and make his promised Let's Play Banjo-Kazooie with Glitches series.

 

[Drathnoxis]

I wish it was possible for groups of people to randomly break out into perfectly choreographed unrehearsed musical numbers in real life.

 

[CM156]

Granted. But people have no choice on what songs they dance to.

I wish we knew if humans had free will.