Most impractical game weapons and attacks.

[Slaanax]

I'd have to say the soldier's shovel in TF2. It's just too ridiculous, but I love it. There's nothing better than humiliating someone by smashing him in the face with a shovel. But still.. a shovel! The only other ridiculous weapon I can think of is a frying pan.

http://www.coldsteel.com/spshovel.html

Shovels are pretty bad ass as weapons. Plus the Entrenching tool can be used a melee weapon in a pitch if you need it.

 

[PhoenixBlade]

The Inflatable Scouser from the Worms games... wait most of the weapons from Worms actualy.

 

[Deadlock Radium]

Magikarp's 'Splash'.
/thread

 

[ninjajoeman]

duel weild plasma swords it sounds cool on paper but think about it for a second... one plasma swords an insta kill

 

[F-I-D-O]

the 101001 cannon in borderlands, and the ball blaster both move incredibly slow and low recharge rate
the gauntlet in quake 3, you can never get close enough.

 

[Teh_Lemon]

the gauntlet in quake 3, you can never get close enough.

Guess you weren't very good at Quake XDD

 

[KarumaK]

All weapons are practical in the right situations.

 

[Akai Shizuku]

Attract from Pokemon. Try that IRL, you'll probably be prison raped.

 

[child of lileth]

The Angel Slayer in Valkyrie Profile. Not only do you have to run through the post game at least 10 times to get it, but the damage is 100% random no matter what. It can either do the most damage possible in the game (some insane amount I can't remember off-hand) or it can do 1 damage. lol. Another brilliant masochistic idea from tri-Ace.

 

[I_B_Ready]

Sephiroth's Supernova.

So he destroys the entire solar system (multiple times, cuz he sure as hell will cast it more than once) and by the time it finally hits, it doesn't have enough power to completely eradicate Cloud and party.

maybe instead of destroying all the other planets, he coulda pointed it directly at his enemies.

 

[Treefingers]

Nothing beats the Cerebral Bore!

Spoiler

Hang on, this is about impractical weapons...

THE CEREBRAL BORE IS FUCKING AWESOME!!

 

[Dok Zombie]

Gimli's finishing blow in the Two Towers and Return Of The King games.

I know this is going back a bit but I was replaying them recently and this really bugs me.

When you knock down an enemy you can finish them with a good downwards stab thingy by pressing R2, works fine with Aragorn, Legolas, Gandalf even the sodding Hobbits, but when you perform the move with Gimli, he decides to spin his axe around his body first. Granted it looks very cool when you pull it off, but you are totally vulnerable for as long as it takes him to do it and you will ALWAYS be attacked mid-swing, interrupting your finishing blow. ALWAYS!

 

[SammiYin]

Using your pulse rifle as a melee weapon in avp 1. Nothing says desperate more than that

 

[Mydnyght]

It isn't a weapon, but I would say Bo' Rai Cho from Mortal Kombat has the most impractical attack I have ever seen. He throws up on the fighting stage. He uses puke... as an attack.

Well, the guy's basically a boozer. Of course he's gonna puke. But at least it had some use; the opponent slip around and be an open target if s/he stepped on that stuff. It was akin to the ice floor ability that Sub-Zero (and maybe Frost) had.

Anyway, I'll stick to the subject of fighting games. Anyone remember Vampire Savior? You know, the third of the Darkstalkers arcade fighting game series. Well, the merman guy Rikuo, he had this one super attack that required 3 full bars of power (don't worry, the game let you store up to 10).... and yet, the attack would do only ONE PIXEL-WIDTH of damage. Unless there was some way to get that attack to work that I don't know of, that attack was UBER-USELESS.

 

[Voodoomancer]

That black hole gun in ME2. it works well against regular enemies, yeah, but it has a long charge up and is entirely useless against mechs and bosses, the things big guns are for.

But it's a friggin' blackhole!

Yes, it's impractical, but Practicality < Coolness

 

[Infernai]

The stick you use briefly in warrior within...seriously, there is no way thats an effective weapon.

 

[nick n stuff]

the jackhammer on unreal tournament. you can't get close enough to melee. i have killed 2 people with, both bots, both on easy. what's the point

the alt fire for it disables vehicles

comment retracted cos that kicks ass. said nothing about that in the manual.

 

[peterwolfe]

Fist/knuckle weapons from Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow were friggin worthless. Nearly all of them require you to basically occupy the same space as an enemy, and when they touch you, you take damage and get knocked back...all so you could do maybe 10-30 damage. The only ones without this issue were the kaiser knuckles, which extended the reach and had multiple hits.

 

[jonathan19]

perhaps the sheepinater in ratchet and clank not only is it less effective in challenge mode but I would rather upgrade my automatic rocket launcher that explodes my enemies into thin air

 

[imaloony]

The Frying Pan from Fable. It was full of lols.

Also, the Broom of Death from Assassin's Creed 2. How you manage to cut someone's throat with that thing, I'll never know...

In terms of totally useless weapons... I always thought that the Eridian weapons in Borderlands sucked.

The Pistol in Red Faction Guerilla sucked. In fact, a lot of weapons in Red Faction Guerilla sucked. If you didn't have at least the Sledgehammer (Which is locked into your inventory), the Assault Rifle, and the Proximity Bombs, you were screwed. The last slot you could play around with, but you'll probably just end up putting the sniper rifle or the rocket launcher in there.

Lucifer in Devil May Cry 4 was a piece of crap.

The remote Batterang in Batman: Arkham Asylum was useless, apart from getting the "Catch!" achievement. The other batterangs work fine, and they have auto lock on!

Any pistol in any Call of Duty game, other than those weird auto pistols in the new one and maybe the Desert Eagle.