Most Insufferable Friendly AI

[Julianking93]

Oblivion's AI for friendlies was pretty horrid.

I can't tell you how many people I ended up killing or pissing off because they wouldn't get out of the fucking way.

 

[irishstormtrooper]

Medal of Honor: Airborne had god-awful AI. The soldiers couldn't hit shit, and they seemed to think that charging Nazis who have machine guns is a better idea than staying behind cover and throwing grenades.

 

[Nyan Cat]

*snip*

If you think Dead Rising 2's AI is bad, you obviously haven't played Dead Rising 1.

The amount of rage they induced!

 

[SantoUno]

It's been said before but Oblivion.

Now I'm obsessive with keeping all NPCs I can alive. Kvatch guards, Knights Of The Nine, and anyone else with a name that can die. Which Is why I'm angry whenever one of these dense bastards is found by me dead on the road next to a Land Dreugh. I don't care if you have a scaled dagger and magic run from the monster!

And when these guys charge right into battle, only to get knocked into lava or off a cliff once ... I lost so many of my followers on Dive Rock damn the Minotaur Lord.

And in the end, after working hard to save these bastards what do I get? Nothing. Just an occasional, "Oh it's you." while they wait around to get slaughtered by a passing Xiviali.

Tell me about it. You remember that first Fighter's Guild quest you get from Cheydinhal? Where you have to deliver weapons to the guild members there and then help them clear the cave of goblins?

IT IS HELL!

Obviously you want to make sure they all survive so you can get the full reward. BUT FUCK, as soon as you barely give them their weapons they go charging straight towards the horde of goblins, getting gangraped by goblins on all sides. Sometimes they go off in different directions so while you may be helping the High Elf survive, later you may find the Redguard archer just went off to die in one of the farther away tunnels.

The worst part of their stupidity? They run straight to the log trap sometimes, so I have to CHAAAARGE to that trap and disarm/trip it myself. Otherwise, ally = dead.

 

[danintexas]

Sacred 2 and those freakin escort missions. RAAAGGGGEEEEE!!!!!

 

[SalamanderJoe]

Halo Reach.

Me - "Who's driving?"
Mate 1 - "I will."
Mate 2 - "Too late. Kat's here."
Me - "Oh God no!"
Mate 1 - "KAT NOOOOOO!!"
(plummet off cliff edge)
Me - "Let's never let AI drive ever again."
Mates - "Agreed."

 

[War Pony]

I don't know if this is the DUMBEST AI EVER, but recently I was trying out Halo: Reach and fuckin'....

I don't remember the level, but I managed to get one of those super-blasty-red-hell-yeah-fist-pump-riding-in-style vehicles (I think they're called Revenants). I had two AI partners with me, one got in the vehicle, the other stopped moving, more or less. There were plenty of Ghosts he wasn't moving to, so I get out of the Revenant and drive a Ghost to him. I turn around to find that shotgun-riding douche driving my Revenant around the corner. And then the other takes the Ghost and up and leaves me.

Who mad? I mad.

 

[efeat]

 

[Wayneguard]

total war... towns w/o generals building and recruiting random shit.

 

[MolotoK]

Easiest question in the whole world:
Fallout 1.

Standing infront of your NPC allies will almost certainly result in getting a few bullets in your back.
They charge in hopeless situations, use Stimpack(medkits) in the wrong situations, use weak armour even though they have powerarmor in their invetory, use a knife even though they have a shotgun, etc. etc. etc.

Still the best game in the Fallout series.
Fallout 3 sucks balls!

 

[Guthixflare7]

Left 4 Dead and halo:Reach they always walked in front of me and i shoot them they get mad or they die then they decide to shoot me because they're to stupid to realise im shooting a GUN...You know the deadly thing that fires pointy things? Yea that.

 

[MolotoK]

Got another one: Command&Conquer: Red Alert.

The ore truck drivers are all on crack. It's not rare to see them drive in circles and if you don't watch them, they will drive straight into the enemy base just because there is one tiny bit of ore there.
And the most hilarious thing ever is when u try to send a group of tanks across a bridge. 1 (yes, one) of the tanks will actually drive across the bridge and all others will try to find an alternative route even if it takes them half way across the map.
And the infantry is so stupid that they will get run over by tanks.

 

[Ampersand]

Tekken 6. That's the only Game that has ever resulted in a fist shaped hole in my wall. Grrrrr........

 

[C95J]

Left 4 Dead...instead of helping me up while hanging on a cliff, my good ol' friend jumped down aswell.

ha, reminds me of a L4D2 bug, where if you are getting pulled by a smoker, but there is a bit of fire in the way, the AI just stand there and watch you die. Or when they just randomly jump off ledges :L

Ah, stupid AI, I salute you

EDIT:

And this explains everything!

 

[TY7ERDURDEN]

Out of the countless games I'm sure you have played, which one boasted the most unbearably stupid or unintentionally hilarious freindly AI behavior?

Right now I'm playing Dead Rising 2, and the survivors you escort back to the safehouse are amazingly thick, getting stuck and doing circles on bits of scenery, unable to think for themselves that instead of repelling the endless flesh ocean of zombies away with feeble girly slaps they should pick up the f*cking sledgehammer thats lying right next to them and wail away. But no, you have to get directly infront of them and hand it to them yourself.

Anyway, thats just my most recent aggrivating experience. What are yours? Squad mates strafing infront of your crosshairs? Having to rely on an AI controlled character to perform a certain action that just doesent want to happen? Have a gripe!

I'm just going to point out that Capcom is not known for intelligent friendly AI. Not that I didn't like RE5 or anything.

but back to topic:

Fallout 3. The moment I lose sight of them. [xxxx has died]

 

[I Resurection I]

Any claptrap from Borderlands, you can't kill them and they don't shut up... EVER!!!

 

[C95J]

Edit: Double Post since my computer decided to not show my first post.

cool, my computer does this as well

OT: The L4D AI are so terrible, it just gets to a point where it is funny...

 

[MiracleOfSound]

I never liked Farah from PoP: Sands of Time (gameplay wise). I don't think she liked me either, judging by how many times I found an arrow in my back.

That stupid *****... she made the long fight on the elevator an absolute nightmare.

Skip to 5.20: that's when the player starts to get pissed off


'Help!'

 

[Hisshiss]

I think Left 4 Dead is a strong candidate. On any other difficulty than expert, the bots could still be tolerated and sometimes even useful. But when you hit expert, they just tend to get themselves incapacitated and consume every bit of found equipment in a nanosecond. Also they are quite fond of healing themselves when there's really no need to (i.e. when they have about half of their health bar left).

But then again Resident Evil 5 may just win this one. For obvious reasons.

me and my friend play left for dead 2 regularly, and have decided that we would rather auto-shotty the bots to death then let them use that health pack that we don't even need XD..its just the gesture that gives us bloodlust. Rochelle in particular seems to just vacuum those fuckin things down.

And stupid bots are one thing, but theres alot of stupid players out there too, and they assume that since the bots heal at 60% health with zero downs, that's what they should do too XD. True story, we gunned a guy playing rochelle down once for healing at like 70%, (I know right?) and then started unloading on his body until we suddenly noticed that the bot was cussing us out over game chat <.<..

 

[Magnalian]

The rebels from Half-Life 2. They can move just as fast as you as far as I know, but as soon as you enter a narrow hallway and have to exit it the same way, it takes them a half hour to actually get out of your way so you can save the world, or dick around, or whatever it is Gordon Freeman does in his spare time these days. I like to think it involves Lego.