Most intellectually insulting movies you can think of

[Bluestorm83]

This:


Please, just watch the trailer.

Even without taking religious views into consideration this movie is just bad.

It's application of the message is what makes it insulting.

As a Christian, I hate movies like these. They're a dime a dozen, poorly written, poorly acted, have horrible stories, and do nothing to advance the faith. Yet my parents can't seem to get enough of them. And I get it, if the world is getting you down and you want a safe movie to watch where bad things are happening to good people but you know that they will percevere and all will be right in the end, then yes, these movies will get the job done. But so will most sports movies, and they have at least some production value.

The biggest problem I have with "Faith-based" movies like this is that it makes actual genuine Christians like myself and also now you look like absolute tools. The sniper in Saving Private Ryan who was blowing away every hostile Kraut who crossed his line of sight while also quoting scripture - THAT. More that, less whiny semi-inspirational BS. Christians need to be the guys that you can always count on to have your back, not the guys that you make excuses to get away from before they whine at you.

 

[000Ronald]

Oh please. You amateurs. If you REALLY want your intellect insulted...YOU HAVE TO GO DEEPER!

I present to you...INNOCENCE OF MUSLIMS! A film so bad that President Obama asked Youtube to take it off their site! I have said before, and I maintain, that this may be the worst thing ever made by a man.

In fact, I wrote a breif review of it a couple of years ago. It's here [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.389469-Has-anyone-reviewed-Innocence-of-Muslims-yet-No-Well-Im-gonna], if you're interested. Everything I have to say is there.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Not so much an insult to the intelligence, but an insult nonetheless was A Beautiful Mind. Based on a true story where the guy in question was gay, but was conveniently made straight cuz of... I don't know - I thought the Oscars dug gay people in movies.

And I may get some hate for this, but The Green Mile. All of Frank Darabont's movies really, but The Green Mile in particular. It's just so emotionally manipulating, with evil characters that are so stupidly, snively, disgustingly evil it's fucking ludicrous. I could just feel the movie bashing me on the head with a lead pipe screaming "DO YOU HATE THIS GUY YET, CUZ HE'S EVIL?"

Also Sucker Punch. No, you're not clever or thought provoking, you're dumb. And not even fun dumb, just boring dumb.

 

[Torque2100]

Avatar, Full Stop.

Seriously, this movie one of the WORST pieces of cinematic garbage to ever may wayyyy more money than it should be allowed to in a sane and rational universe. Avatar sucks and, if a person I know likes it, they are a worse person in my eyes for having liked it.

Let me delve into the reasons why. The plot is insulting, the bad guys are CARTOONISH caricatures who would make Cobra Commander look balanced and worst of all isn't just that the movie is bad, it's Insidious. The central theme of "Technology is Bad and Nature is God" is taken so far that the audience is un-ironically presented with the idea that the ENTIRE Human race, every man, woman and child are all evil because of what we've done to the planet and we all deserve to die. And they bought it; Hook, line and Sinker.

Don't believe me? Go back and watch that ending over again, that is literally what is happening and it is literally the central message of the film.

So not only is Avatar a horrible, horrible movie, it's also one of the slimiest propaganda pieces I have ever seen. This crap is right up there with Jude Suss.

It is often said that people were distracted by all the pretty CGI and didn't really grasp the film's central themes, but I would rebut with the fact that is how Propaganda works. They draw you in with pretty imagery and a simple, easy to follow story. You will then start to internalize the message of the film without even realizing it. Seriously, go back and watch Jew Suss and you'll see this happening. You'll catch yourself rooting for the film's heroes even though they are vicious anti-Semites written by Nazis.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

Not so much an insult to the intelligence, but an insult nonetheless was A Beautiful Mind. Based on a true story where the guy in question was gay, but was conveniently made straight cuz of... I don't know - I thought the Oscars dug gay people in movies.

That's oversimplifying things quite a bit. For starters, Nash is, at most, bisexual, he married and divorced a woman, and then they remarried in 2001 and are still together. He also fathered a son with another woman.

It's also worth noting that both he and his wife deny any of the alleged homosexual experiences that he supposedly had, so it's not like he's been with this same male partner all his life and Hollywood just magically transformed him into Jennifer Connelly for movie purposes.

SNIP

Agreed, I absolutely despised Avatar. It was one of those movies where I was cheering for the bad guys to win, because the good guys were so obnoxious and the movie kept beating you over the head with its message.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Closest I can think of is Man of Steel, with its relentless Jesus analogies.

Avatar, ?cos people destroying the environment are baaaaad.

 

[faefrost]

Prometheus. Prometheus was just the stupidest thing...I feel like Prometheus was made in Invader Zim's universe and somehow tumbled into our reality...First off, why would Weyland make this mission a secret mission? Sending people to the first Earth-Like planet in human history would be HUGE freaking news and ya know what, Weyland is a HUGE corporation. It would be like Microsoft or Apple making a true AI and NOT shouting about it from the rooftops within the first week.

Next you have the whole exploration process...The planet may be Earth-like but you still don't know anything about the planet or its composition. There were geologists on-board the vessel who would have INSISTED that nobody go outside of an X-Meter radius of the ship until soil samples have been taken and tested. Take Luna for example: You wouldn't know it by looking but the dust/dirt/etc on the surface is similar to broken glass and capable of ripping through thin fabrics. If that were to happen on an alien world, you would be absolutely fucked. Biologists would have also wanted to take soil samples because since LV-223 is Earthlike there's a good chance of finding microbial life...which could ALSO royally fuck up an unprotected human. What's more, everyone knew that a storm was coming. You do not go out and explore an alien world (or moon) when you know a storm is coming. You can leave the ship and dig up some dirt but you do not get in a Mako and drive around when you know next to nothing about this planet's weather patterns.

Speaking of an alien atmosphere:

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? The air could be potentially breathable yes, but you don't know what kind of microbes are IN the air! And you all took off your helmets after someone else did...why not keep an eye on that person, test that person once you get back to the ship etc...let his dumb ass be the lab rat but don't follow his example...speaking of utter stupidity:

It looks like a penis, a vagina, a snake...and it's aggressively hissing at you. It's made itself look larger, which is another clear sign that it wants you to back the fuck off...so of course that's your cue to poke it in the face like a jack ass. A Biologist should know what an animal looks and, acts like when it wants you to leave it the fuck alone. I realize it is the first alien we've encountered at this point and that's exciting but you do NOT poke it in the face you fucking idiot!

.

This. Except the sex scene, since that is how she become "pregnant" with the proto-facehugger. Kind of important.
Unless there was another scene I just don't remember....?

Iris Alba, the Ice Queen, and an accordion.

 

[faefrost]

Transformers and Transformers 2. Every single human character in these movies, virtually without exception, is an open insult to humanity. Every one. From fascist caricatures to stupid stereotypes to just pure unadulterated stupid. If you take the giant robots out of the movie and just watch the people scenes you would either kill yourself or go on a murderous rampage with a popcorn bucket and a packet of twizzlers before the credits roll.

Avatar would be number 2 on my list. Gorgeous stunning special effects cover up what has to be the dumbest most idiotic regurgitation of Dances with Wolves ever. Stupid stupid stupid!

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

I've only just seen it, but the new Godzilla was quite bad in this regard as well.

Spoiler: Spoilers for the Godzilla movie inside

Not only was the movie boring as hell, misleadingly marketed (Bryan Cranston was in it for like 30 fucking minutes before getting axed off!) and boringly written, it also had tons of really dumb moments they tried to pass off as serious. Aaron Taylor-Johnson literally pointing a pistol at a monster the size of a skyscraper, people not noticing gigantic monsters time and time again and a FUCKING NUKE GOING OFF JUST NEXT TO SAN FRANCISCO WITH SEEMINGLY NO EFFECT!!!! were just some. This movie is the new king of the "dumbest moment of a nuke going off next to a major city" ranking, knocking The Dark Knight Rises off the top spot.

It's not good, it's boring, and I don't recommend seeing it.

 

[faefrost]

Speaking of Godzilla, let's not forget to put the 1998 Roland Emmerich abomination on this list. Much like transformers every single human character was some sort of sub human moron. Every spoken line was awful. And horrible horrible monster. Actually we can probably add all of Roland's movies to this list. At least Independence Day was kind of self aware of its own stupidity and ran with it for fun and amusement. But the others? Day after Tomorrow? 2012? Dear gods somebody get the man help. And a writer. And a therapist. And for the love of god stop giving him money.

 

[Scars Unseen]

If we can include the marketing leading up to a movie, there's Star Trek: Into Darkness. It's not Khan, it's not Khan, it's totally not Khan!

Spoiler

It was Khan

 

[404notfound]

I'm just gunna throw Sharknado out at this point.

I wasn't expecting it too be good when I watched it, nor did I expect anything more than a B-movie type of film. The film was just so insulting, such as when:

Spoiler

We are expected to believe that; two people are both swallowed whole by the same shark, neither are bitten or anything, and one just so happened to have a chainsaw when they were swallowed and so they use it to cut themselves out of the shark and save them both.

Then there is the cutting between cg sharks swimming in the flooded streets to sharks that are clearly swimming in much more water than it would be possible for them to be in if they were in streets.

Also, if the hurricane is strong enough to lift sharks out of the water and swirl them around, how come the sharks don't die from being out of the water (dehydration, asphyxiation et.) and how come there are no other types of marine life too be seen? Surely cetaceans and other fish would also be picked up if this thing was so strong.

There is more dumb stuff in the film, but I won't list everything.

Like I said, I expected it too be bad so I'm not surprised or "mad" at the movie, but it still is the most intellectually insulting movie I saw.

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

I'm just gunna throw Sharknado out at this point.

I wasn't expecting it too be good when I watched it, nor did I expect anything more than a B-movie type of film. The film was just so insulting, such as when:

Spoiler

We are expected to believe that; two people are both swallowed whole by the same shark, neither are bitten or anything, and one just so happened to have a chainsaw when they were swallowed and so they use it to cut themselves out of the shark and save them both.

Then there is the cutting between cg sharks swimming in the flooded streets to sharks that are clearly swimming in much more water than it would be possible for them to be in if they were in streets.

Also, if the hurricane is strong enough to lift sharks out of the water and swirl them around, how come the sharks don't die from being out of the water (dehydration, asphyxiation et.) and how come there are no other types of marine life too be seen? Surely cetaceans and other fish would also be picked up if this thing was so strong.

There is more dumb stuff in the film, but I won't list everything.

Like I said, I expected it too be bad so I'm not surprised or "mad" at the movie, but it still is the most intellectually insulting movie I saw.

I have to assume you didn't have much knowledge of the type of movie it represents going in, because otherwise you'd have known that Sharknado isn't in the same cast with movies like Machete or Hobo With a Shotgun. It's not supposed to be a spoof, pastiche of or an homage to dumb films, it just is a dumb film. It's in the realm of Mega Piranha, Sharktopus or Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus: deliberately awful movies that know they're awful, but instead of having fun with it, they try to see how far they can get away with it. It was produced by Asylum [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Asylum], the supreme rulers of crap distribution in the modern age.

 

[MCerberus]

Idiocracy is a shrine built to worship the biases that make one a massive tool. No amount of Poe's Law justification can excuse the "humor", or indeed any of the movie. That line was crossed when the final form of "Fudruckers" was revealed.

If you'd like, it's just a nesting doll of morons. Each layer self satisfied that they're the smart one before it's realized they're not at the core. Oh god, I'm part of the problem now. I'm contributing! WHEN WILL IT END!

 

[Johnny Thunder]

Ever heard of Jerusalem Countdown?

I saw it in a dvd store once and it looked like a generic action movie about terrorists with a nuclear bomb and some American hero and his hot girlfriend stopping them, exactly the kind of brainless entertainment I was looking for at that moment...

Little did I know what I was getting myself into.

Never mind that this film had terrible acting and a laughably illogical script, the real issue I had with it was that it turned out to be a christian propaganda movie that was incredibly hate-filled, xenophobic and fearmongering. It was shamelessly biased towards the middle east conflict (100% pro Isreal that is), it demonized muslims and it mocked atheists.

The part that offended human intelligence the most was when the atheist guy sneeks into the house that he suspects is hired by arabic terrorists. Why doesn't he inform the police about that? Why does he have to go in himself? Oh, never mind... He finds out that the terrorists have written quran texts all over the walls and discovers their weapons and materials to make an atom bomb. So instead of alarming the authorities he keeps walking around the house untill the terrorists come back and when they're about to discover him he discovers his lost faith and starts praying. At that moment, god decides to take all the believers to heaven so his soul (and body apperantly) is taken to heaven and all the unbelieving muslims and atheists stay behind on earth...


I was shell shocked after watching it.

 

[DementedSheep]

ok real answer "Remember the Titans"

this kind of pandering Oscar Bait, "oh look you guys racism is baaaaaad" I'm not against showing racism..I'm all for it, but this film is so...simplistic and annoying...arrgghhh I can't stand it

Argh I had watch this repeatedly and study it at school.
It was semi interesting to compare it to what actually happen. Like that most of the stuff about racism was very overblown and didn't actually happen and that Titans dominated from the start and were facing other integrated schools which to me is more uplifting than movie anyway. The brick through the window scene was worse in real life though. It wasn't a brick it was a toilet.
The worst scene to me is that over dramatic cemetery one which unsurprisingly didn't happen either.

 

[shootthebandit]

Die hard 4 takes the prize here. Die hards 1,2 and 3 are ridiculously stupid but that was the point. They were also solid action movies with good characters and were generally fun

die hard 4 came along and it was dreadful. Someone has hacked into everything to prove a point. The supporting kid is obnoxious and is nowhere near as good a supporting character as Zeus or the black cop or the janitor from the airport.

I cant even explain why it insults your intelligence because it would be easier just to show you the movie. The first 3 were pretty damn stupid but at least they were good this is just pathetic

 

[Mechamorph]

For me it was 10,000 BC which is a movie that is sadly stupid on so many, many levels. Cavemen hunting woolly mammoths are attacked by horsemen (riding up into snowy mountainous terrain) wielding swords (not invented for thousands of more years) who take slaves to what appears to be Ancient Egypt (!!!). The horsemen ride through a desert (the horses would DIE) and bring the mammoths with them for use as beasts of burden (again, woolly mammoths. In a desert) to build the pyramids? Its not very well explained what they were for except moving big blocks of stone. Also, what appears to be alien overlords run the slavers.

Anachronisms aside, the movie fails on geography as well; the heroes travel from a mountainous tundra to a thick rainforest and then to desert before winding up on a flood plain. That's pretty much the better part of a continent to travel and they do it on foot. Biology also gets the stinker since there are saber-toothed tigers (save for a few exceptions, they long died out before man learned to walk upright) and one in particular that inexplicably refuses to eat the hero because he saved it once.

Even common sense takes a holiday, the plot is not even plausible. In earlier scenes, its established that the hero's people can't speak the language of other humans (an agricultural society. Again living mostly in the desert and scrub land) so he needs an interpreter who can speak both tongues thanks to the serendipitous visit of his father many years ago. In one scene, the hero gives a rousing speech to the slaves with no interpreter and yet somehow, miraculously, everyone from various tribes can understand him perfectly well in some bizarre reversal of the Tower of Babel. For some strange reason, the bag guys really roam far in search of slaves instead of enslaving all the nearby tribes. Then when the dust settles, the hero brings back grain to transition his people from hunter-gatherers to civilized men. All well and good except that he received what appears to be maize or corn (from the Savannah? Somehow?) which can't grow in their tribal lands very well.

TLR? The movie is an equal opportunity insult to your intelligence regardless of whether your grounding is in the hard sciences or the humanities. It beats your suspension of disbelief with a lead pipe by having so many elements out of place and so many violations of simple logic and common sense that its impossible to take the movie seriously. As icing on the cake some (most) characters don't speak in modern languages (I would hazard to guess its either an exotic or constructed language) so be prepared to read a lot of subtitles.

On the other hand its an excellent teaching tool (asking students to name errors produces less of a term paper and more of a thesis) and hilariously funny in the same way that a man wearing cabbage as a hat and a leek up his orifices singing "Barbie Girl" in a warbling bass is funny. You're not laughing with the movie, you are laughing at it.

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

The Lorax, my God, this is a terrible film. It completely ruined the message of the book in that while you shouldn't destroy the environment, going from one extreme to the other also isn't the answer, it was about trying to find that middle ground that would satisfy most. Not only that, generic and clichéd characters, the Onceler, going from a mysterious character whose face we don't see in order to symbolise that greed can corrupt anyone to a whiny, hipster douchebag and it messed up the ambiguity of the book ending in favour of a clichéd happy ending just to make the kids happy, instead of challenging and preparing them that sometimes there are no answers and you'll have to look for answers yourself if you want them. There's also the hypocrisy of its anti-corporate message, but I think everyone is aware of that.

 

[Loonyyy]

A man is calling someone on a phone. There is text that says "Rome". In the next shot someone else is answering a phone. There is text that says "New York". There is also text underneath that which says "At the same time".

I remember first laughing my arse off when I saw that, then I felt pretty insulted. I mean seriously, did they think I was so fucking stupid that I could not make the connection that what I was watching;

A) was taking place at the same time?
B) they are talking to each other?

I'm pretty sure that if you show people a shot of a person dialing on a phone then cut to a shot of another person answering a phone, most people will know that they are watching a phone conversation happening in real time. They will not think that they are watching two halves of two different phone conversations happening at two different times.

Maybe they wanted to annoy physicists with relativistic physics? That'd be a laugh. Yeah, that sounds completely ridiculous hahaha

After posting this I was curious if I was remembering the scene right so I quickly found a copy of Inferno and had a look. It's not quite how I described it, but it's still pretty bad.

So you've got a guy talking on a phone to a women. The shot is of him so you just hear her voice over the phone. Anyway the phone line has a bad connection and during the conversation the line drops out. The guy starts hammering on the phone trying to get her back. The next shot is of a woman also hammering on her phone trying to get him back. So at this point it's pretty obvious that they are having the same phone conversation. And that's when the text pops up. And what the text actually says is:

"New York. The Same Night In April"

So I don't know what the film makers were thinking, but the end result is hilarious(and pretty insulting).

Wow, that's just weird. And it doesn't even make the slightest sense, if they thought it was ambiguous why wouldn't they put the text at the start of the conversation??

I'm going to bed. These things confuse me.