My Bad jokes reserve is running low,

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Exmigrant

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May 19, 2010
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Labyrinth said:
These kind of jokes may seem funny, but they're offensive.
I promise, it is not my intent to create a hostile environment, I do agree though, that the Austrailian/japanese & the mexican joke are strongly hinting at Racism.


That being said

PLEASE KEEP THE JOKES PG-13 AT MOST, and HOLD BACK ON THE RACISM.

I'd really hate to see this thread shut down :/
 

Mr.Numbers

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Jan 15, 2011
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Hmmmm...

Do I know any jokes about sodium?
Na...

Isn't silicone the same in Spanish?
Si!

My hands are multicultural: The palms are Russian and the Fingers are Roman!

Ever heard of an Ozzie Kiss?
It's like a French Kiss...Only Down Under!
 

Legendsmith

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Mar 9, 2010
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omega_peaches said:
What do you call a black pilot?

Nothing, you racist.
He's not nothing, he's a pilot. You racist.
 

Mr.Numbers

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Jan 15, 2011
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I could have been your father, but the guy in front of me had exact change!

I heard your mum liked seafood so I gave her crabs.

Legendsmith said:
omega_peaches said:
What do you call a black pilot?

Nothing, you racist.
He's not nothing, he's a pilot. You racist.
I fell off my chair laughing!
 

Srs bzns

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Feb 4, 2011
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A murderer, rapist and extortionist walk into a bar.

That's just the first guy.
 

Griffolion

Elite Member
Aug 18, 2009
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Girl calls you skittle dick? Tell her to taste the rainbow.

Osama Bin Laden was killed in Abottabad. Talk Abottabad place to hide!

Osama Bin Laden - "Brb, someone's at the door."

I recently got a job at a recycling plant crushing coke cans into cubes. It's soda pressing.
 

CrazyGirl17

I am a banana!
Sep 11, 2009
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2 men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it coming...

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
 
Feb 28, 2008
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So, you're looking for some anti-jokes are you? (*those easily offended, do not read any further*)

Why did Suzie fall off the swings?
She has no arms.
What's sad about a car full of Asians falling off a cliff?
They were my friends.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
 

aba1

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Mar 18, 2010
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ahhhh most of my bad jokes are racist because well thats what makes them terrible I remember somone asked me if my gf is driving yet n I just said shes a woman annndddddddd asian aint no way I am letting her drive. See its so bad its funny besides my theroy about racist jokes is that if you tell it as a joke it just means its funny because the idea of it being true is so obsurd its laughable (litterally)

ohhh old one a kid in elementry told its so stupid

whats long and yellow and not a bannana


A BANNANA :d
 

infohippie

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Oct 1, 2009
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How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and not very funny.
 

derbt

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Jan 7, 2011
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Why are pirates, pirates?
Because they arrrrr.

A baby seal walks into a club...
 

Kargathia

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Jul 16, 2009
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Disclaimer: probably offensive to Turks.

There's been an earthquake in Turkey, and rescue workers are reporting that the smell of the bodies is unbearable.

They expect it to get worse when they find the dead ones.

I also know quite the assortment of dead baby jokes, but I believe the request was to leave them out of this.
 

A Satanic Panda

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Nov 5, 2009
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What's a mango doing in a bar?

You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.

A sticky Situation.
 

Thaluikhain

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Jan 16, 2010
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lithium.jelly said:
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and not very funny.
German comedy is no laughing matter.

...

They laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian.
Well who's laughing now?!
 

chrono16

BOOM! Headshot.
May 9, 2010
170
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What has 4 legs, is green and can kill you if it falls out of a tree?
A Pool Table.

Whats big and red and eats rocks?
A big red rock eater. lol
 

commiedic

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Sep 2, 2010
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After a long car ride, a young man was disgusted when his car suddenly broke down. Getting out, he noticed that the road was purple. The grass to each side was purple as well, and there was a purple sky. There was also a purple path that led to a purple house. Deciding he'd follow the purple path, he came to the purple house and knocked on the purple door. A few minutes later the purple door was opened to reveal a man wearing a purple robe and purple slippers. He asked what the matter was, to which the young man replied, "Hi, my name is George. My car broke down on the road. Could I use your phone?" The man in the purple robe replied that he didn't have a purple phone, but he would be happy to let George stay in his purple house for the night, for there had just started a purple thunderstorm outside, and he would help George out in the morning. George gave his thanks. "Don't mention it," said the man in the purple robe, who closed the purple door, led him across the purple hallway that had a purple rug, through his purple livingroom, and to his purple stairs. At the top of the purple stairs, George noticed another purple hallway with another purple rug, and there was a row of several purple doors on either side of the purple hall. The purple-robed man led George to the first purple door, opened the purple door, gave the young man a second purple robe, and bade him goodnight.

About an hour later, there was another knock on the purple door. The purple-robed man came to the purple door and opened it, to reveal a rain-drenched man, who had also broken down, and revealed himself as Billy. The purple-robed man led Billy into his downstairs purple hallway with the purple rug, closed the purple door, and led him through the purple livingroom and up the purple stairs to the upstairs purple hallway with the purple rug, and led him to the second purple door. Opening the second purple door, the purple-robed man gave Billy a third purple robe and bade him good night as well.

About an hour later, once again, there was a third knock on the purple door. The purple-robed man opened it to reveal another rain-drenched man, who had also broken down outside, and his name was Dan. The purple-robed man led Dan into his downstairs purple hallway with the purple rug, closed the purple door, and led Dan through his purple livingroom, up the purple stairs, and into the upstairs purple hallway with the purple rug. The purple-robed man took Dan to the third purple door, gave him a fourth purple robe, and told him to have a good purple night.

The next morning, the three men opened their purple doors and came out into the upstairs purple hallway with the purple rug, all wearing their purple robes, and started down the purple stairs. Heading through the purple livingroom, they entered the purple kitchen where the purple-robed man was, preparing some breakfast. He asked the men what they would like, and they just decided on some cereal. The three men sat down at the purple table and the purple-robed man brought out Frosted Flakes and Cheerios. George picked Frosted Flakes, Billy Cheerios, and Dan Frosted Flakes. Now, what's the moral of this story?
 

StrangerMouse

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May 16, 2010
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A pirate walks into a bar with a massive steering wheel shoved in his pants. The bartender says "Isn't that uncomfortable?" The pirate replies "Yar, it's driving me nuts!"