Mystery Beast Terrifies Kids

[PyroZombie]

Maybe it was one of the deep ones, an ambassador of Father Dagon to force humanity to worship him.

 

[andrat]

its a hairless sloth(probably shaved)

http://xenophilius.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/kids-kill-naked-sloth-think-it-is-an-alien/

After reading this link I suppose the kids killed the sloth, became afraid that they'd get in trouble so they shaved it clean and then went to go get their parents and staged the whole story. As for killing it, being kids they probably threw rocks at it for fun and killed it by accident.

The second theory is that sloths are actually geniuses that play the slow and slow-witted creature against us humans so we don't find their secret civilization. They also found a cure for cancer like chemo, without any other side effects other than complete hair loss. After said treatment he went to take a stroll when the kids came upon him, so he tried to scare them away from the civilization by charging at them, they then proceeded to kill him. If this theory is true, the kids will be killed within the month as a means of blood feud.

Theory one seems like it could have actually happened.

And if it is theory two, well, they had it coming.

 

[Smitty of the Tolchocks]

It's just one of the Aliens from "close encounters of the third kind" that chugged too many mojitos.Let him sleep it off,toss him a cheeseburger and a half case of malt liquor when he wakes up and it will all be good.

 

[Fbuh]

Probably a raccoon, just like the "Montauk Monster".

http://www.hamptons.com/detail.php?articleID=4474

It has weird fucking arms. I don't think that it is a raccoon. It could be a mutant person. I wish I could see pics of the whole body, though.

 

[ae86gamer]

Whatever it is its disgusting. I'm also never going to go to Cerro Azul.

 

[Booze Zombie]

If it was real, some ignorant kids just killed a facinating creature, if not, well, The Sun are dicks...

 

[Spudgun Man]

Complete and utter tripe, it is truly amazing the things people can do with latex and paint these days.

 

[Shadowfaze]

i thought it was hilarious. i laughed so much, it made my day

 

[DeadlyYellow]

Fuckin' wierd. on an unrelated note, between this and that footed snake, I think humans are preventing evolution. Which is probably in our best interest honestly.

I'm pretty sure that snake was the result of contaminant based mutation, not an evolutionary feature.

 

[Smitty of the Tolchocks]

I have a question.
A while back(2-3 yrs ago) a similar tabloid,weekly world news,I believe it was,had a story about Champ going overseas to kick Nessie's butt in a monster battle.How did this turn out?
I would presume that Nessie would win anyway,even without the stout home-field advantage,but who knows.
Please link a video of the battle if you have it.

thank you.

 

[Bat Vader]

It is the next stage of humanity.

 

[omega 616]

Fuckin' wierd. on an unrelated note, between this and that footed snake, I think humans are preventing evolution. Which is probably in our best interest honestly.

So we can control every little tiny thing? It's comments like that, that make me a misanthrope.

 

[BaldursBananaSoap]

It's mutated turtle without a shell. No wait it's definately a shaved sloth, see the link somewhere above me. The claw gives it away.

 

[Torque669]

This is one weird thing. I cant even make out if it looks like any other sort of animal.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2642152/Mystery-beast-terrified-kids.html

With the recent thread about that Snake growing some sort of foot. This comes a close second in weirdness. Any ideas what it could be?

That is fukin weird, I like your avatar by the way, is that Harry Tipper

Damn right its Harry Tipper.

And Cookies to Canton for showing what it actually is. Sun the slimy bastards trying to stir everything up. I also found it incredibly funny how they went off into talking about Gollum half way through. Really stupid.

 

[XJ-0461]

It's a mutant something. Maybe a mutant turtle, maybe a mutant sloth, but definately an animal of some sort.

 

[Quaidis]

I have a feeling that the kids merely found the dead sloth, fabricated a large story around it, and the news ate it up like their last meal on Earth. There was no 'walking on two legs', no 'sudden attack!'. These are teenage idiots we're talking about here. The only other excuse is that they threw stuff at a living sloth, perhaps tortured it in some sick game, then decided that they could make some cash by throwing random stories about it.


On the by, turtles do not take off their shells like one would see in a cartoon. Their shell is literally connected to their back bone. There is no humane way to remove the shell from the turtle without some serious gore involved. This is why, when you see turtle served in random restaurants, it is either in pieces or the bottom of the shell is removed/cleavered open, it is cooked in shell, and it is eaten in shell like a sick bowl.

 

[darkless]

They reckon it was a hairless sloth since its claws are similar to that of a sloths, they don't know how it may have lost it's hair but yeah sounds reasonable.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I think it's a bit rude to make fun of Tiny Tim in that way.

 

[AvsJoe]

Ahh! It's the Jersey Devil! Leave the livestock and run for your lives!

Also, I love how the article becomes a description of Gollum halfway through.