Nathan Fillion Reminds Gamers of the Dangers of "Swamp Ass"

John Funk

U.N. Owen Was Him?
Dec 20, 2005
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Nathan Fillion Reminds Gamers of the Dangers of "Swamp Ass"

A sweaty backside while gaming can be a terrible thing.

"Swamp Ass." It's a phenomenon that most gamers are sadly all too familiar with. You're sitting on your couch, shooting some faces in Call of Duty: The Newest One, and then you begin to feel oddly moist. Like a perfect storm, the sweat on your back and the warmth of the couch combine to wreak havoc, only it's on your backside instead of shorefront property.

Actor Nathan Fillion, best known to nerds for his role as Captain Mal Reynolds on Firefly - and known to gamers for his work in games like play Nathan Drake on the big screen [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/94968-Nathan-Fillion-Wants-In-on-Halo-Reach] - thinks that more people need to be aware of this tragic issue that affects millions around the world.

Fillion and Break.com [http://www.break.com/] have teamed up to produce this Public Service Announcement that you see here to the right, to raise awareness about the dangers of Swamp Ass - because the more we know about it, the more we can fight it. With hair dryers. Between raids.

Thanks, Cap'n Mal. You're awfully shiny for doing this.

Permalink
 

Radoh

Bans for the Ban God~
Jun 10, 2010
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Good lord, that man is the best man in the history of men.
 

Phlakes

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Mar 25, 2010
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This is the best thing I've seen in weeks. And I just watched Labyrinth last night. Somehow, Nathan Fillion is better than David Bowie's crotch.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
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That is quite possibly the strangest thing I've heard in relation to gaming lately, but I believe the appropriate response is...

 

Iznat

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That was absolutely adorable.

I have no idea why. Cheered me up to no end, though.
 

Fappy

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Was that Nyan Cat with an NES controller for a body? ... o_O
 

Dr_Horrible

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Wow, this was the best and funniest thing I've seen recently, even though I've been going through the LoadingReadyRun video archives... Nathan Fillion is just plain awesome.

Also:
Radoh said:
Good lord, that man is the best man in the history of men.
sounds about right.

EDIT:
Black Watch said:
I think I just turned gay because of that man.
As a completely straight man, I can say that that is a reasonable response
 

John Funk

U.N. Owen Was Him?
Dec 20, 2005
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I lol'd. Swamp ass....not something I get but I could see how it would be annoying.
 

Sepiida

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Jan 25, 2010
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God bless you Nathan Fillion.

This man needs to be cloned immediately.
 

Geo Da Sponge

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That perfectly serious expression he pulls when he starts using the hairdryer made me crack up. Please tell me there will be more of this "The More You Nerd".
 

Agayek

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Oct 23, 2008
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Vault Citizen said:
I have never heard of (or experienced) Swamp Ass, is it really that common a thing?
It really depends on where you're sitting and your own body. It happens to me a lot when I sit on pleather chairs. Real leather or fabric and I'm just fine, but 10 minutes on a pleather chair and my pants are soaked through. No idea why.

I can't say how common it is though, I haven't actually asked anyone if they get it /shrug.
 

Uber Evil

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I can see why XKCD have an obsession with this guy. He's pretty damn awesome.
 

laol1999

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Vault Citizen said:
I have never heard of (or experienced) Swamp Ass, is it really that common a thing?
i havn't either but i guess that people who do marathon gaming sessions get it
 

Varya

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Nov 23, 2009
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I love how he keeps a straight face, he's so good at being cheesy, it's easily overplayed, but he really sounds like he means what he's saying.
Awesome NyES cat at the end
 

vrbtny

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Jedoro said:
How. The hell. Does he say that with a straight face?
Pure Awesomness, that's how...

oh, but if you want a serious reply : "It's Nathan Fillion. The man could walk on gudamn water."
 

FunKing

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electric_warrior said:
Is this "Swamp Ass" an actual phenomenon that people are familiar with and aware of?
it sucks....never had it from gaming, but working 14-20 hour days paving roads w/ 340degree asphalt on a day thats 90 degrees+ .....i can personally say, its something that people should be aware of
 

the spud

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This man, Tim Schafer, Shegyru Miyamoto, and the entire staff of valve should get together and have a baby. We should then worship that baby.
 

Gaderael

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Would someone please give this man back Firefly!?!! I would game with this man any day, Swamp Ass or no Swamp Ass!
 

Mistermixmaster

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Hillarious vid, but seriously, "Swamp ass"? I mean, I can sit down and play for extended periods of time (hell, I can have one gaming session going a whole freakin' day if there's nothing else to do), but I have never heard of or encountered this "swamp ass"-thing before now xD

Is this seriously a thing people suffer from? xD
 

thethingthatlurks

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Good God, that man is sexy. And I'm straight...

Anyway, thanks Capt'n. Some of us gamers had better heed Mal's words...
 

John Funk

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Dec 20, 2005
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This man is epic. If there is one star in the world whos hand I could shake, I would choose Nathan Fillion every time.
 

dalek sec

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Jul 20, 2008
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Best damn PSA I've heard in a very long time. Why is this not being played on our tv's!? D:

Well that cheered me up for a little bit, thank you Mr. Fillion! :D
 

King Toasty

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His straight, "the more you know" face while saying Swamp Ass broke me. My soul is touched deeply by this.
 

thethingthatlurks

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buy teh haloz said:
Was I seriously the only one looking at him in his ODST armor from Halo 3:ODST?
Apparently. I'm pretty sure 99% of the Escapist joined me in picturing him in his sexy brown coat...
 

Sixties Spidey

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thethingthatlurks said:
buy teh haloz said:
Was I seriously the only one looking at him in his ODST armor from Halo 3:ODST?
Apparently. I'm pretty sure 99% of the Escapist joined me in picturing him in his sexy brown coat...
I just think it's funny to see an ODST in full armor shove a blow-dryer down their pants...
 

thethingthatlurks

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buy teh haloz said:
thethingthatlurks said:
buy teh haloz said:
Was I seriously the only one looking at him in his ODST armor from Halo 3:ODST?
Apparently. I'm pretty sure 99% of the Escapist joined me in picturing him in his sexy brown coat...
I just think it's funny to see an ODST in full armor shove a blow-dryer down their pants...
I may be drunk right now, but I absolutely agree! Wait, don't those power armors have AC built in?
 

fieryshadowcard

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Mistermixmaster said:
Hillarious vid, but seriously, "Swamp ass"? I mean, I can sit down and play for extended periods of time (hell, I can have one gaming session going a whole freakin' day if there's nothing else to do), but I have never heard of or encountered this "swamp ass"-thing before now xD

Is this seriously a thing people suffer from? xD
If you've never experienced it, consider yourself lucky to have found a seat that does not suffocate your behind. The right seat will keep you dry every time. The wrong one... well, we don't like to talk about the wrong one around here. Let's just say plastic covers were never meant to be sat on for long periods of time. Also, the staining moisture and the description of the smell is over-exaggerated most of the time for most people, but that just further hammers home the point.
 

CleverCover

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Oh. MY. 'dies from laughter'.
That..that was gold. Especially the end. All of the end.

Mistermixmaster said:
Hillarious vid, but seriously, "Swamp ass"? I mean, I can sit down and play for extended periods of time (hell, I can have one gaming session going a whole freakin' day if there's nothing else to do), but I have never heard of or encountered this "swamp ass"-thing before now xD

Is this seriously a thing people suffer from? xD
I had it once while gaming...but I think it was because it was really really hot and I was sitting on plastic. That was a really uncomfortable situation.
 
Sep 14, 2009
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Vault Citizen said:
I have never heard of (or experienced) Swamp Ass, is it really that common a thing?
do you have any hair on your body at all? and what kind of climate do you live in?


where i'm from..swamp ass can happen the instant you sit down somewhere, depending on your "britches".
 

Cpu46

Gloria ex machina
Sep 21, 2009
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I have suffered from Swamp Ass. It is less from couches and more from my dorm rooms crapy chairs. The cushions retain so much heat that I have to get up after an hour of sitting on it, the fact that the room doesn't have AC never helps.
 

duchaked

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think the cap'n needs to lose some weight...but still lookin' good!

esp since it's been a while since we heard from him (needs to go on Jimmy Kimmel Live again!)

SirBryghtside said:
Black Watch said:
I think I just turned gay because of that man.
You don't have to be gay to love Nathan Fillion ;)
:p it's true
 

Julianking93

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I don't know why anyone other than him would be considered for the part of Nathan Drake. Seriously... Mark Wahlberg? The fuck? o_O

Anyway, more on topic... I don't even know what to say. That was pure awesome.
 

duchaked

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thethingthatlurks said:
buy teh haloz said:
thethingthatlurks said:
buy teh haloz said:
Was I seriously the only one looking at him in his ODST armor from Halo 3:ODST?
Apparently. I'm pretty sure 99% of the Escapist joined me in picturing him in his sexy brown coat...
I just think it's funny to see an ODST in full armor shove a blow-dryer down their pants...
I may be drunk right now, but I absolutely agree! Wait, don't those power armors have AC built in?
lol no I think only the MJOLNIR was that advanced. ODST armor is prob just a slightly upgraded Marine armor?

it's funny cuz I was JUST thinking about how hot full combat armor must get. or heck even riot police armor after a lot of running and smacking people (yes it was hot outside and I was wearing jeans)
 

Zhukov

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Dec 29, 2009
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Huh.

Y'know, I think I finally understand why that guy is so well regarded.

That was hilarious. All the more so because he was completely straight faced the whole time.
 

Alar

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Dec 1, 2009
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Mistermixmaster said:
Hillarious vid, but seriously, "Swamp ass"? I mean, I can sit down and play for extended periods of time (hell, I can have one gaming session going a whole freakin' day if there's nothing else to do), but I have never heard of or encountered this "swamp ass"-thing before now xD

Is this seriously a thing people suffer from? xD
Sounds like they need to game in better ventilated rooms... air conditioning is ideal, with icy cold beverages aplenty.
 

Nouw

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One more reason why Nathan Fillion is the male epitome of awesome. Well one of them anyway ;)
 

dududf

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Vault Citizen said:
I have never heard of (or experienced) Swamp Ass, is it really that common a thing?
I only get swamp ass in a small amount if it's warm, and I'm in my leather pc chair. I never get it on couches or other chairs.


It really is bad.
 

Vrach

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laol1999 said:
Vault Citizen said:
I have never heard of (or experienced) Swamp Ass, is it really that common a thing?
i havn't either but i guess that people who do marathon gaming sessions get it
12 hours straight in LAN parties, multiple times and it's the first I hear of this, so nope.

OT: Awesome and hilarious video, Nathan Fillion ftw. But honestly haven't heard of or experienced this in my life and I've been a gamer since I can remember and no stranger to gaming marathons, playing when it's over 40 degrees (Celsius, you weird American people) outside without AC etc.

Maybe it's just crappy seating or something?
 

Sizzle Montyjing

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Apr 5, 2011
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Nyan Thornberry is pleased with this.
Is this even a real thing though? Because i don't get it. *shifty eyes*
:p
Nathan Fillion... sounds like he should have a fillet steak named after him...
 

Sonicron

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Mar 11, 2009
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I do know Swamp Ass, but I've never experienced it while gaming, even though I'm kind of a sweaty dude. Huh. Guess those cheap IKEA armchairs are even better than I thought. ^^
 

Genixma

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By his face of shoving a hairdryer down his pants I can tell they're not paying him enough...
 

SilentHunter7

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You got to get a good chair. Getting a seat that breathes is almost as important as getting a good graphics card. :)
 

Chairman Miaow

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I just want to know where that picture of him holding a fish like an evil mastermind on the feature page is from.
 

Toriver

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FunKing said:
electric_warrior said:
Is this "Swamp Ass" an actual phenomenon that people are familiar with and aware of?
it sucks....never had it from gaming, but working 14-20 hour days paving roads w/ 340degree asphalt on a day thats 90 degrees+ .....i can personally say, its something that people should be aware of
I get it from work instead of gaming, too, but it mostly comes from sitting on the chairs at work for long periods of time or biking to work in hot weather. It sucks. So to this announcement, I say, "My name is Toriver, and I approve this message!"

(Even if swamp ass was completely fictitious, I'd still say it because this is too damn funny! XD)
 

Comic Sans

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I load trucks for UPS, and at this time of year I get Swamp Ass really bad. Never get it from gaming, but I get the gist of it. It really, REALLY sucks, especially when you can't do anything about it.
 

Sandernista

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Swamp ass sucks. It also makes you feel all self conscious and stuff. Never got it while gaming tho.

ALSO. I WILL HAVE HIS BABIES.
 

Macemaster

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Nathon Fillion's Face can stay that straight, not even chuck norris' roundhouse can bend it
 

WonderWillard

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You know Miracle of Sound's song, "Commander Shepard"? It should be rewritten, to say, "you'll never be better than Commander Shepard. Unless you're Nathan Fillion."
 

DugMachine

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Hmm used to get swamp ass when I wore boxers and tighty whiteys. NOW I wear boxer briefs and its magically stopped. I think Louis C.K. did a joke about this and god damn he was right. Boxer Briefs are like the cure to swamp ass (from sitting down). Doing hard work outside in the hot sun is just a recipe for swamp ass and theres almost no way to avoid it.
 

schiz0phren1c

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"Gorram it Mal,accelerating into this atmos too fast has given me some serious shang foo swamp ass!,ask Enara can I borrow her hair/asscrack dryer again!"
 

The Lugz

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Vault Citizen said:
I have never heard of (or experienced) Swamp Ass, is it really that common a thing?
leather chairs are the worst offenders, and i've only ever seen this in summer.
 

Fursnake

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Mistermixmaster said:
Hillarious vid, but seriously, "Swamp ass"? I mean, I can sit down and play for extended periods of time (hell, I can have one gaming session going a whole freakin' day if there's nothing else to do), but I have never heard of or encountered this "swamp ass"-thing before now xD

Is this seriously a thing people suffer from? xD
The fatter the ass, the more likely one is to contract swamp ass...you've never heard of swamp ass?!
 

John Funk

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Dec 20, 2005
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I play lots of games, yet I am unaware of this 'swamp-ass'. The name sounds gross. How long until it happens?
 

Crazy Zaul

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Swamp Ass (now it finally has a name) is a big problem and I wish he gave a genuine solution to it. And yer I do have a leather chair, maybe that's what causes it.
 

lwm3398

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Swamp Balls is an even more terrible condition, one that can be developed from an extended time of living with Swamp Ass. I don't think I really have to explain what it is, and I won't for the sake of your Mental Imaging Center (ACTUAL SCIENCE TERMS).

Mistermixmaster said:
Is this seriously a thing people suffer from?
Oh, it's more than real. More real than you should ever know.
 

John Funk

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Wonderful.

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Believe you will love it.

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Deathlisk

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Vault Citizen said:
I have never heard of (or experienced) Swamp Ass, is it really that common a thing?
I have suffered from it at times, though it is actually not when gaming, but when I sit down on a drumming chair for too long. It's akin to bedsoars.
it becomes uncumfortable to sit, though sitting in a couch or something like that helps.
 

Asuka Soryu

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....Swamp Ass? ... Please tell me that this is just a joke in the video and such a thing doesn't actually exist.
 

Kargathia

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electric_warrior said:
Is this "Swamp Ass" an actual phenomenon that people are familiar with and aware of?
A phenomenon called "Swamp Ass" with this severity? Not really. The basic idea? Yea, it happens I guess. If your ass is sweating, and you sit on it for 10 hours straight, then something is bound to get wet.

And lots of kudos to him for being able to say this without starting to giggle hysterically halfway. I probably would've lasted about 10 seconds.
 

Yokai

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This would have been rather puerile with anyone else, but then Fillion starts talking, and it's pure sex. How does he do it.