But it's the people with special pro nouns who insist on this behaviour. It's a result of the demands they've made because normal "cis" people don't go around worrying about their (or anyone else's) fucking pronouns.
So, do you not think it's weird that I, as a person who prefers they/them pronouns, am literally telling you not to worry so much about pronouns, and your response is that cis people only worry about pronouns because people like me make "demands".
Let me tell you my demands. If I care about you enough to tell you that I prefer they/them pronouns, then I consider it a gesture of respect if you use those pronouns. Plenty of people in my life to whom I am out forget my pronouns all the time, especially if they knew me before. Heck, I have other non-binary friends who occasionally slip on my pronouns. I don't care all that much about pronouns, in my experience very few non-binary people do. What I care about is that people I like or who claim to be on my side treat my preferences with respect and courtesy.
Because my experience is that "normal" cis people care too much about pronouns, firstly because cis people care too much about gender (they literally burn down forests over it), and secondly because pronouns are an extremely easy way to look like you're trans inclusive without actually having to do anything. What normal cis people don't worry about is that they themselves will be misgendered, which doesn't mean they are in any way happy when it happens to them.
And part of the reason it's so hard for "cis" to think about that is because it's fucking weird.
It's really not.
If you're trans, or non-binary, this is not weird or difficult at all. It's difficult for cis people because cis people are weird. Cis people are the ones whose brains break down if someone wears gender inappropriate clothing or has a gender neutral name. Cis people are the ones who literally become violent because the existence of trans or gender non-conforming people represents such an existential threat to their gender identities they have to physically attack or kill someone.
If you think it's weird, then you're weird, and you should probably learn how to step out of your comfort zone. But that's the big problem here. Cis people very rarely, if ever, step out of their comfort zone.
You don't relate to Han Solo because he is a man, you relate to him because he is a rogue character who is caught up in event way bigger than he ever wanted to get involved in.
So, I'm mostly ignoring this because it's not relevant. I'm not actually talking about fictional characters, but rather I was making a throwaway point about how some people's attempts to be gender inclusive in real life can come across as self-serving and performative. I still don't really see why that's controversial or why it hit the nerve that it did, but I'm willing to ride this one and see where it goes.
But yes, I agree, Han Solo is relatable because of the situation his character is in and the actions his character takes, but that's not actually exclusive with the fact that much of his characterization is predicated on the fact that he's a man. It's not that you couldn't have a gender swapped Han Solo, but they would either have to be written differently or they would come across as a bit weird and maybe even gender non-conforming. People have different perspectives and expectations of male and female characters, particularly in a film like Star Wars where characters are written to be very archetypal, and who are also extremely gendered.
Imagine if Han Solo was still a male character, but was played by Anthony Daniels with the same camp delivery and mannerisms as C3P0. It wouldn't change the fact that he's a roguish character who is caught up in events way bigger than he wanted to get involved in, but would audiences have related to him in the same way? Almost certainly not.
No clue. I thought the community itself kind of banned together to add to their numbers because inidividually those groups are very small. Even lumped together they're small.
They're lumped together because historically they were medically considered to be the same thing, and have always faced the same kind of persecution which necessitated banding together. A lot of trans people won't date straight people, for example, because, to paraphrase Kat Blaque, it can be exhausting having to manage someone else's heterosexuality. It can also be very dangerous.
Prejudice against LGB people and trans and non-binary people ultimately stems from the same source, the inability of "normal" (cisgender, heterosexual) people to tolerate anything that breaks their "rules" of gendered behaviour.
And those communities are not as small as you think, particularly now. Do you think that humans are just naturally heterosexual?
Not really. I more meant Non-binary as the confusion, because that's the option that the game in question is giving people. Which I still hold out is a good thing btw. Trans folks I don't feel are confused. They know what gender they are, they just aren't in the matching body. Trans folks are still binary. TransMAN or TransWOMAN, still binary.
Do you think that gender is real?
Do you think that there's some kind of absolute, immutable cognitive or social reality that makes a person either male or female? Do you think there's such a thing as a male or female mind, and that having a male or female mind means that you either are male or female? Do you think that all psychological experiences can be classified into these two oppositional states of being either male or female, with nothing outside or in between?
Because if so, I think you are the one who is confused. I know what gender is. I know gender is an arbitrary mode of social organization. I know that social organization can shape our identities and sense of self, and I know that my identity and sense of self does not align cleanly with what is socially classified as male or female.
But even if I did believe that gender is real, it doesn't change the fact that I know what I am not, and therefore I also know what I am by ruling out what I am not. There's really no "confusion" in that, unless you're alleging that
not feeling like your sense of self aligns with your body or social position is inherently a sign of confusion, which would also apply to binary trans people.
