Nice Guys Suck

[Cowabungaa]

The idea is to be aware of every item on our "list" first. Then figure out which ones we can/should change. Then decide, from those, which is causing us not to find any results.

Well luckily I am that, and I also know exactly what seems to be in the way; 1 mostly. Not that nerd-dom is all I am, but it sure is a large chunk of me. It's just so very very difficult to meet a girl who actually likes a guy who has walls lined with sci-fi and fantasy novels, comic books, a big-ass Star Wars poster and whatnot. Especially near where I live, making even looking online hard. What's someone looking for some companionship to do eh?

 

[DanDeFool]

I may be a Nice Guy?, with a hearty dose of neurosis and self loathing. Any advice?

There's a book for that.

No More Mr. Nice Guy [http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322703460&sr=8-1]

I've read (part of) it. It's good stuff.

 

[PhiMed]

I think your analysis leaves out something critical: female responsibility. You're correct that Nice Guys TM have an agenda. And EVERY FEMALE ON EARTH OVER THE AGE OF 14 knows that, too.

And don't forget that they're all members of the Illuminati and secretly rule the world.

Or wait, we can be reasonable human beings and realize that you're just being ridiculous.

But they are frequently content to play innocent, as if they have no idea that the guy living in abject poverty, who works two jobs in addition to attending school, who bought them a $200 gift "as a friend" might have something else in mind.

Or they could assume that the person is a friend instead of a douche who thinks money can buy a gf. Oh no, alternate possibilities!

Yes, these guys are passive-aggressive, unassertive wimps. All the more reason not to allow them to convince themselves that there is a chance. Ever. These guys continue their behavior because women make the conscious decision to allow them to do so. Because they enjoy the attention, because they are craven, small, insecure people themselves. Not all women. Just all the women who allow this to continue.

You're just as bad. Instead you'll whine about how they're all wimps. they're not hypermasculine enough! Get a real complaint, srsly. Dishonesty, entitlement. But no, they're... wimps! Learn to leave the schoolyard taunts behind and grow up.

So stop pretending that you didn't know, and that the Nice GuyTM always brings this up as a complete surprise. You know. 95% of the women this has happened to know. You just wrote an entire article detailing your extensive knowledge of the phenomenon. Accept a little responsibility for enabling these pansies, and shift a little responsibility to those without a Y chromosome.

I bow to your psychic expertise. Or I laugh at you for pretending you think you know that 95% women involved know. But for those who talk about 'pansies' etc... well they're the kind of people who despise actual intellect and reasoning so taking a step back and realizing you don't know everything would be uncharacteristic. Admitting that you don't know would be showing weakness and Thog can't show weakness!

And by the way, there's a reason these men are so timid. Young women, when they reject someone, are vicious. It's socially empowering for a women to publicly humiliate a male. Negative reinforcement is a powerful motivator. Women created these sissies.

Yes, just like your degree is pseudopsychology says.

I was one of them, briefly. Then I realized that there are two options that will result in a woman finding a male attractive (not every woman, mind you, but probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 1/3): 1)Treat her as if you are GOING to sleep with her. Even if you don't use explicit terminology, become almost TOO affectionate, as soon as you meet them (warning: use only if at least moderately physically attractive). 2)Treat her as if you find her to border on being repugnant.

Did you know 103% of people like you make statistics up based on nothing? Isn't that just stupid?

Stop saying women like nice guys, but don't like Nice GuysTM. Women like jerks. It's well-established.

By the font statistics made up on the spot? Why yes, that's true.

Wow... I'd counter you, but after reading your consecutive, picky, MST3K-on-meth style replies, I think I'd send you over the edge. Here's a tip: edit people's quotes more. They love it.

You're spending too much time arguing with strangers. Seek help.

 

[PhiMed]

I think your analysis leaves out something critical: female responsibility. You're correct that Nice Guys TM have an agenda. And EVERY FEMALE ON EARTH OVER THE AGE OF 14 knows that, too.

And don't forget that they're all members of the Illuminati and secretly rule the world.

Or wait, we can be reasonable human beings and realize that you're just being ridiculous.

But they are frequently content to play innocent, as if they have no idea that the guy living in abject poverty, who works two jobs in addition to attending school, who bought them a $200 gift "as a friend" might have something else in mind.

Or they could assume that the person is a friend instead of a douche who thinks money can buy a gf. Oh no, alternate possibilities!

Yes, these guys are passive-aggressive, unassertive wimps. All the more reason not to allow them to convince themselves that there is a chance. Ever. These guys continue their behavior because women make the conscious decision to allow them to do so. Because they enjoy the attention, because they are craven, small, insecure people themselves. Not all women. Just all the women who allow this to continue.

You're just as bad. Instead you'll whine about how they're all wimps. they're not hypermasculine enough! Get a real complaint, srsly. Dishonesty, entitlement. But no, they're... wimps! Learn to leave the schoolyard taunts behind and grow up.

So stop pretending that you didn't know, and that the Nice GuyTM always brings this up as a complete surprise. You know. 95% of the women this has happened to know. You just wrote an entire article detailing your extensive knowledge of the phenomenon. Accept a little responsibility for enabling these pansies, and shift a little responsibility to those without a Y chromosome.

I bow to your psychic expertise. Or I laugh at you for pretending you think you know that 95% women involved know. But for those who talk about 'pansies' etc... well they're the kind of people who despise actual intellect and reasoning so taking a step back and realizing you don't know everything would be uncharacteristic. Admitting that you don't know would be showing weakness and Thog can't show weakness!

And by the way, there's a reason these men are so timid. Young women, when they reject someone, are vicious. It's socially empowering for a women to publicly humiliate a male. Negative reinforcement is a powerful motivator. Women created these sissies.

Yes, just like your degree is pseudopsychology says.

I was one of them, briefly. Then I realized that there are two options that will result in a woman finding a male attractive (not every woman, mind you, but probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 1/3): 1)Treat her as if you are GOING to sleep with her. Even if you don't use explicit terminology, become almost TOO affectionate, as soon as you meet them (warning: use only if at least moderately physically attractive). 2)Treat her as if you find her to border on being repugnant.

Did you know 103% of people like you make statistics up based on nothing? Isn't that just stupid?

Stop saying women like nice guys, but don't like Nice GuysTM. Women like jerks. It's well-established.

By the font statistics made up on the spot? Why yes, that's true.

Wow... I'd counter you, but after reading your consecutive, picky, MST3K-on-meth style replies, I think I'd send you over the edge. Here's a tip: edit people's quotes more. They love it.

You're spending too much time arguing with strangers. Seek help.

I wonder what you're smoking because I didn't edit anything you said. Try again?

I don't smoke... anything.

Parsing is editing. Any person who has ever dealt in film, audio, or print of any kind will tell you that. But you probably didn't know that, so I'll just chalk it up to good old fashioned ignorance on your part.

 

[Adultism]

This thread is a massive shitstorm

On topic however, I'm a bit inbetween nice, and a jackass.

 

[Olivia Faraday]

I'm a woman, myself, and basically it comes down to --

There is nothing less appealing romantically than the feeling that someone thinks they're entitled to being in a relationship with you. Nice Guys have this thing about them where they think they're so nice that naturally every girl should want to be with him. Girls can sense that sort of thing. Maybe she legitimately just wants to be your friend, and the feeling that you're constantly judging her relationship choices and comparing yourself to her boyfriends and waiting on the sidelines for her to be "ready" ... it's all really gross to us.

I like nice guys. Both of my really serious boyfriends have been nice guys on the surface. Sweet, shy, gamer guys who always buy flowers and offer to pay but respect me as a woman. (At first at least.) Nice guy #1 turned into a jealous, possessive jerk in the end ... but he was never a Nice Guy. That's something very different, and the main factor in it is entitlement.

Basically: until you can actually be friends with a girl and not sit around judging her for not being your girlfriend, you shouldn't look for girlfriends amongst your girl friends, because they will never like you.

 

[shadowstriker86]

Nice Guy? = Tool.

In my experience, Ive always gone for the "Quick And Painless" approach. See a girl you like? Ask her out. Literally, just say something like:

"Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to go see a movie _____ (insert day or "sometime")"

She says no = Move on. There's 2 girls for every guy in this country/planet so theres plenty to look for.

She says yes = Take her to dinner/show/theater/insert place of interest here.

I don't understand why some guys waste 2+ weeks trying to develop a friendship just to ask a girl on a date only to be shot down. It's insulting to both the girl and the guy, the guy for wasting his time and for the girl, making her think that you wanna be a friend and instead turn out to be what she doesn't want at the moment, a dick.

Imma give the same advice i've given my friends: Be yourself when you're with a girl, have confidence in yourself (that means EVERYTHING, speech, personality, looks, etc.) don't talk about your ex's/past loves, memorize a joke or 2 to make her laugh and be a gentlemen and open the door for her / pull the chair back at a table before she sits down. That's it.

I'm a nice guy with 14 relationships experience and currently in a 5 year relationship. (Told her that i dont wanna get married until i can afford to keep a roof over our heads, cali sucks for jobs right now, thankfully she understands)

 

[Combustion Kevin]

here's a question: Have you ever met a person that you can completely describe as nice?

Absolutely. I know several people I completely describe as nice. They have excellent social skills. They have the genuine ability to listen to anyone and make that person feel like whatever they have to say is interesting. They basically make every person they encounter feel like they are briefly the center of the nice person's world. And it is all completely sincere. Even if they don't like someone, you'll never no it, because they have the manners to never grouse, never complain, never bad-mouth someone behind their back, even if that's what everyone else in their peer-group is doing. They are unrelentingly kind and positive to anyone they meet. Personally, I think they are rather awe-inspiring.

I think you misunderstood me.
I meant: have you ever met a person that you can ONLY describe as nice?
as in, nothing to them but being nice.

 

[PhiMed]

I think your analysis leaves out something critical: female responsibility. You're correct that Nice Guys TM have an agenda. And EVERY FEMALE ON EARTH OVER THE AGE OF 14 knows that, too.

And don't forget that they're all members of the Illuminati and secretly rule the world.

Or wait, we can be reasonable human beings and realize that you're just being ridiculous.

But they are frequently content to play innocent, as if they have no idea that the guy living in abject poverty, who works two jobs in addition to attending school, who bought them a $200 gift "as a friend" might have something else in mind.

Or they could assume that the person is a friend instead of a douche who thinks money can buy a gf. Oh no, alternate possibilities!

Yes, these guys are passive-aggressive, unassertive wimps. All the more reason not to allow them to convince themselves that there is a chance. Ever. These guys continue their behavior because women make the conscious decision to allow them to do so. Because they enjoy the attention, because they are craven, small, insecure people themselves. Not all women. Just all the women who allow this to continue.

You're just as bad. Instead you'll whine about how they're all wimps. they're not hypermasculine enough! Get a real complaint, srsly. Dishonesty, entitlement. But no, they're... wimps! Learn to leave the schoolyard taunts behind and grow up.

So stop pretending that you didn't know, and that the Nice GuyTM always brings this up as a complete surprise. You know. 95% of the women this has happened to know. You just wrote an entire article detailing your extensive knowledge of the phenomenon. Accept a little responsibility for enabling these pansies, and shift a little responsibility to those without a Y chromosome.

I bow to your psychic expertise. Or I laugh at you for pretending you think you know that 95% women involved know. But for those who talk about 'pansies' etc... well they're the kind of people who despise actual intellect and reasoning so taking a step back and realizing you don't know everything would be uncharacteristic. Admitting that you don't know would be showing weakness and Thog can't show weakness!

And by the way, there's a reason these men are so timid. Young women, when they reject someone, are vicious. It's socially empowering for a women to publicly humiliate a male. Negative reinforcement is a powerful motivator. Women created these sissies.

Yes, just like your degree is pseudopsychology says.

I was one of them, briefly. Then I realized that there are two options that will result in a woman finding a male attractive (not every woman, mind you, but probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 1/3): 1)Treat her as if you are GOING to sleep with her. Even if you don't use explicit terminology, become almost TOO affectionate, as soon as you meet them (warning: use only if at least moderately physically attractive). 2)Treat her as if you find her to border on being repugnant.

Did you know 103% of people like you make statistics up based on nothing? Isn't that just stupid?

Stop saying women like nice guys, but don't like Nice GuysTM. Women like jerks. It's well-established.

By the font statistics made up on the spot? Why yes, that's true.

Wow... I'd counter you, but after reading your consecutive, picky, MST3K-on-meth style replies, I think I'd send you over the edge. Here's a tip: edit people's quotes more. They love it.

You're spending too much time arguing with strangers. Seek help.

I wonder what you're smoking because I didn't edit anything you said. Try again?

I don't smoke... anything.

Parsing is editing. Any person who has ever dealt in film, audio, or print of any kind will tell you that. But you probably didn't know that, so I'll just chalk it up to good old fashioned ignorance on your part.

Oh, so context is beyond you. See, 'editing' when talking about 'quotes' would imply I'm changing your words.

But cutting posts... well that's just addressing parts separately. But if it makes your brain hurt, then do run off.

Wrong.
Cutting posts, especially the line-by-line snarky style that you use, is not addressing parts separately. It's unforgivable laziness reserved for people who never learned how to properly compose an argument. If you don't know how to write in a way that directs your reader to opposing points, take a class or read a book on rhetorical composition. Until you do, there's really no difference between you and someone who writes everything they say in all caps.