No Right Answer: Best Animal Ever

[MorganL4]

Naw man, the best animal ever is the horse. Just look at how reliant human civilization has been on horses. We used them to plow fields, we used them as transportation, we used them for battle (right up until the 2nd world war) we used them to heard cattle.... There are a million other things that humans have been able to acomplish ONLY because of horses.

Even though the primary role of the horse in our civilization has been replaced by the vehicle we still measure its power by how many horses it equals.

Do you like your life? Thank the horse.

FTW:

 

[blackrave]

Pfff, lions are sooo gay
Weak, lazy and stupid.
There is only one animal that rival humans
One animal that can wreck your day
One animal that is in the "you're alive only because I don't want to kill you... yet" category
Only one animal that thrives in harshest conditions this world can throw on anyone
Anyone can live in savanna, but can anyone live in tundra or arctic desert? I don't think so.
Only one animal that can go behind polar researcher just to watch what he is doing, not because this animal was hungry, but because animal was curious.
"Bro, researching soil? Sweet! Found anything interesting? Wait, are you shitting your pants? Dude you're disgusting, go wash yourself, tomorrow I might be hungry and I like my food clean."
Only one animal that considers any living creature food.
Polar Bears

Spoiler: You're nowhere safe

Thought you can hide under water? Well, you were WRONG!

Spoiler: They are terrifying when the're relaxed

Hi. Just chillin before I come and ruin your day.

Spoiler: They are terrifying when the're cute

That cub KNOWS you are tasty

Spoiler: The most terrifying thing? Recently they learned how to fly

Polar bear invasion is inevitable. We don't need bomb shelters, we need bear shelters.

Spoiler: Little known fact about penguins

Penguins used to live in North pole
Then Polar bears came

Penguins decided "Fuck it!" and migrated across globe

Be afraid, be very, very afraid!

P.S. Happy birthday Chris. I wish you to be last person eaten by polar bears.

 

[Simon Leonhart]

Is there a link to the super-Mufasa video?

 

[Reed Spacer]

Naw man, the best animal ever is the horse. Just look at how reliant human civilization has been on horses. We used them to plow fields, we used them as transportation, we used them for battle (right up until the 2nd world war) we used them to heard cattle.... There are a million other things that humans have been able to acomplish ONLY because of horses.

Even though the primary role of the horse in our civilization has been replaced by the vehicle we still measure its power by how many horses it equals.

Do you like your life? Thank the horse.

FTW:

I don't trust horses. Any creature that lets you ride on it's back is planning something.

 

[Kenjitsuka]

Blah blah, not funny

Crocodiles are number one, and they EAT your lions. Not the other way around. And they can run around on land just fine too, btw.

And wolves are WAAAAY cooler than lions too.

 

[Spygon]

Bring your Lions to the real hunting grounds up north where the wolves and the bears are your competition.

 

[Nokturos]

Humans are the best animals ever. We invented hamburgers and automatic rifles.

 

[RandV80]

No the greatest animal ever has god himself showing a documentary about it:

These are the cutest and best things on the planet.

Everyone knows the emperor penguin, but I watched a documentary on penguins in general once with the missus (she's a big fan) and it's neat how they all have different breeding cycle. Like some will lay two eggs, because they know a seagull will likely get one so they keep another for backup. But the best was a breed of warmer climate penguins that live around New Zealand I think it was. Basically all the male penguins gather first at the breeding ground... and start a big ass brawl to establish dominance and who gets the best spot! A few hours later the girls wander on in will while they males stand around in the spots they fought for looking all cool and tough hoping a lady will pick them.

 

[CplDustov]

Hands down funniest episode for me. Please do a spin off series of Chris rants about stuff.

 

[RTR]

Whoa, Chris' birthday is right before my mom's.

 

[RTR]

This is something that could've been on an episode of Media Sandwich.

 

[PainInTheAssInternet]

Your mom in bed.

For real, I'm going to go with spiders. They get rid of pesky insects (such as mosquitoes who only bite you out of spite. Source: Onion), they build majestic webs that are highly functional. They have a ridiculously large and hardy variety (pick your poison/venom). They can be cute or ugly, beautiful or rough, jumpers, climbers, grabbers.

All in all, a versatile creature that is majestic as hell.

 

[vxicepickxv]

Peacocks are the greatest animals of the world, they EAT KING COBRAS! There all like I don't care about this poison I eat you anyway. The Male Peacocks are so Bad ass that they don't even try to blend in they just strut their stuff like nobody's business.

Funny. I would say the mongoose is better, because it grasps the concept of a mirror.

 

[thisbymaster]

This was lame. The ideas didn't make any sense, plus without another person this just didn't work. You need a straight man to make the joke funny.

 

[mysecondlife]

I wonder if he had a little drink before filming this video..

 

[Mr.PlanetEater]

That was like watching one of my friends when he's drunk or stoned. And I loved it.

Good show Chris, good show.

 

[Drummodino]

You are right Chris, lions are the best. There really is no question.

Spoiler: I dare you to argue

 

[rednightmare]

Happy Birthday Chris. I respect your opinion, but I have to throw in my vote with the wolf crowd.

 

[Olas]

Lions don't have shit on hippos. An entire pride of lions will single out a lone hippo and still usually fail to kill it. Hippos are bigger, tougher, and despite being herbivores, have more powerful jaws.

 

[wildpeaks]

Lions are lazy a**, lionesses do all the work x.x

Mantis shrimps on the other hand are glorious: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp