North Korean Scientists Confirm That Unicorns Are Real
- Thread starter Andy Chalk
- Start date
This totally has nothing to do with the discussion but, I just wanted to let you know that I've had a really crappy day and that little joke made me smile.faefrost said:
The following has been approved for posting by the Brovengers international department of insane bullshit:
Bronies, members of the escapist...i think we also need to consider a secondary possibility here given what has happened this following year. All evidence presented so far seems to indicate that so far we may be dealing with something much more sinister and far worse then our imaginations can possibly fathom. And I, as the chief researcher of multiversal theory, will now regail you with my theory of what we are likely to expect from this.
Firstly, we had the announcement and releasing of the first two berserk films. Strange, isn't it, how only just NOW we are having these films made isn't it? But, hey, everyone decides to make films these days..well, it would seem innocent until we get to my second point.
In berserk, there are many mythological creatures that often exist in normal mythology. Dragons, mermaids and all manner of creatures are found. This is also true of: Unicorns
Now, this is also quite innocent until we remember just what the berserk world consisted of and of how brutal and unforgiving it is. Which leads to my final point
This year, we experienced a Solar Eclipse. Now, In berserk a solar eclipse was a very rare occurance that heralded something truly horrific: The rise of a new member of the Godhand. A charismatic being or a leader amongst men would be given the choice of ascending at their lowest possible moment at the sacrifice of their followers to the maws of countless demonic entities.
This leads me to, by extension, consider that the man we called King Tongmyong was not in-fact a mortal man...but a member of the Godhand given mortal form. Or, equally as possibly, an extremely powerful Apostle. How else could he command a creature such as a unicorn, let alone have one as his steed of choice?
If we also consider the Mayan calender ending on this year, we suddenly have some very new clarity: This isn't the end of the world, but the re-emergeance of the Old. A new member of the Godhand has risen and, if allowed to be given mortal form, will shatter the barriers between worlds calling back the ancient ones that roamed this earth before us.
Unicorns, Dragons, Trolls and all manner of beast long thought myth will return to our world and with them will come the denizens of hell...the godhand will set about enforcing the will of the Idea of evil and we will all bear witness to the ushering in of a new Era of pain and suffering!
So beware, we are not dealing with Equestria or anything so harmless...we are dealing with the idea of evil and the return of the five to this mortal world.
OT: Ok, more seriously, i am calling bullshit on unicorns existing. And the source of proof is a simple note that says it's a unicorn cave? Does that mean if i carve the words "Dragons den, Keep out!" in one of englands old caves we can start investigating the existence of dragons?
Bronies, members of the escapist...i think we also need to consider a secondary possibility here given what has happened this following year. All evidence presented so far seems to indicate that so far we may be dealing with something much more sinister and far worse then our imaginations can possibly fathom. And I, as the chief researcher of multiversal theory, will now regail you with my theory of what we are likely to expect from this.
Firstly, we had the announcement and releasing of the first two berserk films. Strange, isn't it, how only just NOW we are having these films made isn't it? But, hey, everyone decides to make films these days..well, it would seem innocent until we get to my second point.
In berserk, there are many mythological creatures that often exist in normal mythology. Dragons, mermaids and all manner of creatures are found. This is also true of: Unicorns
Now, this is also quite innocent until we remember just what the berserk world consisted of and of how brutal and unforgiving it is. Which leads to my final point
This year, we experienced a Solar Eclipse. Now, In berserk a solar eclipse was a very rare occurance that heralded something truly horrific: The rise of a new member of the Godhand. A charismatic being or a leader amongst men would be given the choice of ascending at their lowest possible moment at the sacrifice of their followers to the maws of countless demonic entities.
This leads me to, by extension, consider that the man we called King Tongmyong was not in-fact a mortal man...but a member of the Godhand given mortal form. Or, equally as possibly, an extremely powerful Apostle. How else could he command a creature such as a unicorn, let alone have one as his steed of choice?
If we also consider the Mayan calender ending on this year, we suddenly have some very new clarity: This isn't the end of the world, but the re-emergeance of the Old. A new member of the Godhand has risen and, if allowed to be given mortal form, will shatter the barriers between worlds calling back the ancient ones that roamed this earth before us.
Unicorns, Dragons, Trolls and all manner of beast long thought myth will return to our world and with them will come the denizens of hell...the godhand will set about enforcing the will of the Idea of evil and we will all bear witness to the ushering in of a new Era of pain and suffering!
So beware, we are not dealing with Equestria or anything so harmless...we are dealing with the idea of evil and the return of the five to this mortal world.
OT: Ok, more seriously, i am calling bullshit on unicorns existing. And the source of proof is a simple note that says it's a unicorn cave? Does that mean if i carve the words "Dragons den, Keep out!" in one of englands old caves we can start investigating the existence of dragons?
From what i have theorised, we will indeed have filler arcs. BUT! They will usually be very short and not drag out too long.Mikejames said:
The main problem will be the fact that things will be updated at a very irregular schedule. But on the plus side, life will suddenly have a soundtrack composed by Susumu Hirasawa.
Hello, I am Doctor Florn Gates, leader in the field of mammal paleontology. I have travelled to North Ko- People's Democratic Republic of Korea, and have confirmed everything that the scientists have found is 100% true. Not a single part of it was a lie. We even saw a live creature running out of the caves, a real live unicorn, which isn't a donkey with a stick taped to it's head. I also saw lots of people eating food, yes, lots of food here in this nation, not like those greedy capitalist ones I live in. Now, I just been informe- decided that I am going to be staying in this glorious country for a long time, for more scientific... research.Arcline said:
A very, very, very long time.
Doctor Flron Gates out.
Tell my family I love them.
I think this will help:Kopikatsu said:
http://translate.google.com/#id/el/Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam
*press the voice button*
Maybe unicorn is something else we don't know in really.Infernai said:
For example let say an alien civilization use the word "cat", a name of a creature.
We, the foolies human will think "Oh! This aliens have also cats. How Kawai!!!!! :3"
Then of course the human learn the cat is a Giant red-black Lich Caterpillar using the corpses of the aliens as minions to bring flesh of any kind to him to devour.
So.......yeah, the possibility of Unicorn to not be a My Little Pony character is very high
EDIT:
Unicorns in Korea:
I F*CKING KNEW IT THE UNICORNS WASN'T THE ONE WE THINK OF!!!!!!
It certainly does defy belief. I truly hope your conclusion is correct!Quaxar said:
Have you ever read George Orwell's 1984? There are some eerie similarities... (although Orwell has just been outdone by North Korea because he didn't think to include Unicorns. What a noob!)
I'm not sure how seriously one can take a geography book hinting at the final resting place of an ancient king and his magical unicorn. Wait. Did Avatar have unicorns in it? I missed that part. Damn it, now I have to go watch that movie all over again.Darmani said:
Fake.
I could go and write graffiti on the Parliament building and scientists would fall for it.
Stop being stupid.
I could go and write graffiti on the Parliament building and scientists would fall for it.
Stop being stupid.
North Korea does do some crazy things, but no, it didn't claim to have found evidence for unicorns. The massive leaps against logic and fact when it comes to reporting on North Korea are even bigger than when it comes to Japan! Don't get me started on the latter, how every fringe art project, joke, bit of fun and satirical work is misconstrued as the latest 'fad'.
Anyway ...
"In Korean history, the name Kiringul (which the paper translated as "Unicorn Lair") is in fact a site associated with the founder of Koguryŏ, an ancient Korean kingdom. The discovery, North Korea claims, proves Pyongyang is the modern site of the ancient capital of Koguryŏ. The blog also reports that this finding, too, is controversial, as many historians doubt that at the time of its founding Koguryŏ was located in Pyongyang."
(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/30/north-korea-finds-secret-unicorn-lair_n_2219289.html)
So the actual myth being constructed is that North Korea is the 'true Korea', not that they found evidence of unicorns. And the mythical Kirin is not really a 'unicorn'. It's a great beer. If 'kiringul' translates to 'kirin grotto' (which is more accurate) then I think Kim Jong Un simply found an ancient beer garden!
Anyway ...
"In Korean history, the name Kiringul (which the paper translated as "Unicorn Lair") is in fact a site associated with the founder of Koguryŏ, an ancient Korean kingdom. The discovery, North Korea claims, proves Pyongyang is the modern site of the ancient capital of Koguryŏ. The blog also reports that this finding, too, is controversial, as many historians doubt that at the time of its founding Koguryŏ was located in Pyongyang."
(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/30/north-korea-finds-secret-unicorn-lair_n_2219289.html)
So the actual myth being constructed is that North Korea is the 'true Korea', not that they found evidence of unicorns. And the mythical Kirin is not really a 'unicorn'. It's a great beer. If 'kiringul' translates to 'kirin grotto' (which is more accurate) then I think Kim Jong Un simply found an ancient beer garden!
