Not Wanting a Girlfriend is a "Serious Illness"

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Whispering Death

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May 24, 2009
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I wonder how much porn has to do with this.

Once you're done snickering consider that it's the male that typically is driven to begin courtship. Whether it's caveman clubbing a girl and dragging her back to his cave or a polite gentleman handing her a flower and asking her to the weekend dance it's been the male sex drive that typically gets things started.

But since the advent of widely distributed pornography males now have a way to "self-medicate", let's call it, their sex drives.

So instead of the sex drive being a constant motor that drives males to be forward and engage women; instead it's something that is compartmentalized, taken care of in 15 minutes, and then back to normal life. Almost like how a pill works to relieve a headache.

I wonder how much that has had an effect on dating and relationships.
 

UberNoodle

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What rubbish. The reasons that Japan's birthrate is declining are largely the same reasons that many developed, industrialised nations are declining. This whole blaming of anime and so-called Japanese perversion is a Western form of racism. As a resident of Japan for a decade, I can assure you that the view of Japan as seen from Western geek media is bullshit wish fulfillment for xenophobes eager to maintain a myth that Japan is some sex crazed, robot marrying insane place. Half the 'oh Japan' articles are the misconstruing of humour and satire, or just intentional sillyiness. The rest are incredibly fringe cultures or bizzare individuals made out to be the norm of the culture.

Imagine the picture of America which could be painted using a few South Park clips, Octomum, Jersey Shore, Rebublican debates, the Real Doll, Scientology, most of the Southern States, etc.

THE REAL REASON that Japan's birthrate is declining is rather simple -- Japan has been for a very long time very traditional when it comes to marraige and the woman's role in that arrangement. Children out of wedlock are still quite the taboo, as marraige and children are largely inseperable in the culture. Yet Japan has alarming rates of sexually transmitted disease for a nation of its level simply because men do not like to wear condoms and women are too embarrassed or lack the confidence to tell them to.

The Pill is not widely used in Japan except for cases of medical need, such as being debated for Jesus' sake in the USA right now. Add to this that women in Japan today are finally being ableto get their equality in the workplace, there is a FEAR of marraige and kids, because once a woman is married the societal, parental and even employer expectation that she's get pregnant and thus be demoted or resign is very very very very very high.

Woman aren't prepared to give up their careers and passions and goals for the traditional expectations of marraige and motherhood because the provisions and opportunities available for mothers in Western countries aren't really there. In fact Japanese employees are known to work very late every day and spend a lot of time devoted to work, but ini truth they aren't working in the traditional sense. They are going to work functions, socialising and networking with coworkers and clients, eating and drinking with them too.

How can a woman raise kids and look after a home (because boys in Japan are seldom trained how to do this) AND also keep her work expectations? SO she'll be given a lower position, lower pay, be given lower trust and responsibility, because after all, she is really a baby making machine and a house keeper, and a second mother to her husband.

So this is really why birth rates are declining. The government here KNOWS that the reason is the entirety of Japan's work culture and traditional expectation, so it pretends it to be otherwise and launched ineffective measures.

So fucking cool it with the baseless generalisation about the masculinity of the men, so called Japanese perversion (the Real Doll and the modern dildo are American inventions, btw, and sexual perversion as the West sees it is really a remnant of Christian puritanism). And certainly can it with the 'just send me over there' bullshit. Women don't want to have kids with a foreigner who'll only be able to work as a lowly paid language teacher, or otherwise take them to their home country at which they will be separated from their parents whom they have a duty to look after in old age. Western, post colonial wish fulfillment.
 

justnotcricket

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Apr 24, 2008
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I thought what the researcher was trying to say is that if you've substituted anime girls in your life for real ones because you have trouble interacting socially, and you've convinced yourself that it's just that you don't really want a girlfriend (when you do) or that no 'real' woman can be good enough...then that is kind of unhealthy, actually.

I don't think he's attacking people who just really just don't want a girlfriend (i.e. gay men, asexuals, and...people who sincerely just don't, etc)...but then I haven't read the whole research portfolio, I guess.

I have no idea whether you can actually pin Japan's falling birth rate on anime and videogames (if there were any place where I'd say that could happen, it would probably be Japan), but what the researcher is actually saying is 'the problem' and what the title of the article suggest don't totally overlap, IMO.
 

Zetatrain

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Boris Goodenough said:
Zetatrain said:
2)I don't think its the size that is being questioned, but rather whether or not Japanese women feel that their men are inadequate. For instance, how many women in living in Japan have actually had sex with a Caucasian, African, or someone with a penis size outside the norm? If they never did then why would they feel that their men are inadequate. The point that I'm trying to make is that its all relative.
Well, it must be bad if they complain when there are no reference points, no? Well the information is second hand since I am neither Japanese nor female.
Or it could be that the assumption that most Japanese women feel that their men are inadequate is mostly false, unless you've seen surveys or studies that supports this assumption. My point is that unless they have a point of reference I don't understand why they would feel that their men are inadequate to please them.

Boris Goodenough said:
Zetatrain said:
For example, a man who is circumcised since birth does not feel any loss of sexual pleasure when having sex, because he never did bang anyone with an uncircumcised penis.
But the loss is still there though.
True, but how is the man suppose to be aware of or feel that loss if he has no point of reference?
 

Elementary - Dear Watson

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Nov 9, 2010
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Wow, race and sex in an article, and the inevitable flame war thet ensued!! Congratz for the predictable... :p

Personally the biggest thing I get from anything like this is that quotes from East Aisan scientists/experts/anyone are quite often mistranslated... What we forget is that languages are not the same, and they don't perfectly translate onto eachother. Quotes like 'serious illness' may not be as literal as we take it... The original Japanese phrase could have meant something along the lines of 'social problem', or 'serious problem' which fits in with the rest of what he says in the article... Unfortuantely stuff like this doesn't always get the best translators, and most of the phrases and language used is context driven, and phrases can mean different things in different situations, something that isn't always apparent!
 

beniki

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AnythingOutstanding said:
UberNoodle said:
Woah, chill out with the accusations. I'm not saying you're wrong about what you think causes it.(because I've never been to Japan, I wouldn't know.) But it seems like you're jumping to conclusions.

First, it appears(Note the emphasis) that this supposed cause was founded by Japanese researchers. So I doubt it is really a western influence thing. How they came to such a conclusion might be how they focus squarely on the responsibility of the male. And how the declining marriages and births has to be the male's fault since the male usually initiates it.

And have you stopped to consider that what you describe and what problem they describe might actually be related? Since with the women not wanting to lose their careers(as you state) for the sake of marriage and children, guys might think that they are simply unwanted in this new world. It kind of reminds me of the explosion of songs about guys apologizing to their girlfriends a few decades ago because that was the first time that men were held accountable for anything.

Second, it seems like you're letting the tone of the article get to you. One thing that you have to realize is that Grey Carter is, well, a troll. That's part of what makes his articles so much fun to read but you have to remember that it is in good fun.

Lastly, I reiterate that I'm not saying you're wrong. But I am saying you are jumping to conclusions a bit and it might be worth re-examining. I personally think that this phenomenon is going to affect most of the modern world soon. It's just that other factors caused it to happen sooner in Japan.
No, he's quite right. There may be other factors, but the biggest one is the work issue. When I worked in Japan, it wasn't uncommon for people to wait to have children until they were nearly 40... simply for reasons of work.

And whilst teenagers and high school girls can be very confident and aggressive, it's somewhat seen as a sign of growing up to become more submissive. That was partly the reason I stopped working there. Kind of heart breaking teaching those kids to be confident in a foreign language, and watching that confidence melt away.

Er, he's wrong about Japanese women and lowly paid language teachers though. Most of my teacher friends there were married to Japanese.
 

Grathius22

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Jul 6, 2010
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I don't agree that it's a mental illness, but I think Heterosexual males should probably have some sort of natural incentive to try and get out there and meet women.

RonHiler said:
Given that the population of the planet just hit 7 billion, and we can't sustain that many people, I can't help but wonder why this isn't considered a good thing. Maybe we should distribute games, anime, and manga to everyone and perhaps we could drop the entire planet population by 20% by 2050.
Only 2% of the Earth's surface is populated. Overpopulation is a joke, friend.
 

triggrhappy94

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First off, sex will always provail. It's grouped with food and water in neccesity. Just get girls into gaming and anime, and encourage more conventions and things like that.

Second, I'm not looking for a serious girlfriend right now. I'm a high school senoir with about a quarter left on the clock. After that, I'm not going to see most of these people again. I'm not going to get into something serious when it's going to end in a couple months, and I'm almost 18, so underclass men are off limits.
And, yes my sex-depraved psychological disorder is coming along nicely.
 

Hat Man

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Nov 18, 2009
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triggrhappy94 said:
First off, sex will always provail. It's grouped with food and water in neccesity.
It's called masturbation.

Your body can't tell the difference between sex and masturbation, so if fulfills that urge.

There are a lot of wizards out there that are living proof that sex does not always "prevail"
 

UsefulPlayer 1

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I know alot of people who don't want girlfriends. I don't know why they would, they run through girls like a fat kid at a candy store.

More puzzlingly, I don't know why some girls want boyfriends. They could just easily run into guys like how they run into walls. Though truthfully that's probably a small few, plenty of girls who just run into guys.

Though more on topic, I guess all the females in Japan are not shut ins? Hard to believe something would be so one sided. It's either small percent of Japanese men are feasting or the girls are shut ins too. Girls have needs too.
 

z121231211

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Jun 24, 2008
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You know, while the shut-ins aren't helping, are they really a big enough part of the population to be one of the sole reasons for this?

Unless 20% of the population is shut-ins, there is a lot more to this.


Oh how much I love you captcha.
 

MegaManOfNumbers

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Boyninja616 said:
Doomcat said:
Boyninja616 said:
Unlike many people of my age, I grew up. I understand that one needs to be a realist and needs to work towards building a stable and independent life, which dating would quite frankly ruin. I don't understand why girls feel the need to go out with some arse just "Because" and guys feel the need to wear Polo or Checkered shirts and stick their hair in spikes to attract females. It's stupid and fatuous.
This is pretty much why i haven't spent as much time as i probably could have trying to get a girlfriend. Yes, i have females that I spend time with on a regular basis, but no-one i can really claim as having a romantic relationship.

Having said that though, I've had a girl who just entered high school out of frigging nowhere call me her "boyfriend" and suddenly we were an item. that lasted about 2 months and i believe she got bored, she never "broke up" with me, but just stopped acting like a freaking stalker. I like her yes, but I wanted to explain to her how I don't think I want to be an item with someone who's just entering high school and that I've known for less then a week. x.x

More on-topic related, I can date a female when I choose too, I fail to see how it makes me a shut-in when i decide not too, I have regular, daily conversations and social events with friends who are both male and female, but never something I can construe as a "date"

quick edit: same guy I quoted posted something just above me that also encompasses many of my feelings XD just thought I'd throw that in there as well.
Yeah. Even the most unappealing of us have stalkers, it seems (No offence intended).

That said, I could swear that one of the cleaners finds me attractive. The only time she smiles is when she sees me. She even came into our department early when she knew I was working and started cleaning.

But i've learnt to take things with a pinch of salt. There's usually a reason why a stranger finds you attractive despite never having met you.
Huh; honestly, what you said actually made me feel better now I know some idiot out there thinks I'm remotely attractive. I'm not trying to sound ironic here, you legitimately made my day! Thanks! ^.^
 

Abengoshis

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Aug 12, 2009
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"However, if you brush that off and use the excuse that you don't want a girlfriend, then you're trying to ease your serious heartbreak.""
No. I really do NOT want a girlfriend. I don't have the time to worry about a girl nor do I want to. It is not me. I am not trying to "ease my serious heartbreak" - I just vehemently do not want a girlfriend. I've seen what happens to people when they get involved in relationships. It's generally not pretty.

What if you don't want a boyfriend and you're gay? Is that the same?

Plus we really don't have the capacity to feed all the new people if everyone started becoming involved in relationships. If all the "shut-ins" went and successfully got girlfriends every country would be PACKED in no time.
 

CentralScrtnzr

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May 2, 2011
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Japan is an excellent example of a gerontocracy. An increasingly retirement-age populace dominates social and political system ensuring that the lion's share of public programs, entitlements, and institutions are aimed towards the immediate needs of the elderly. Add to that a shitty job market, what jobs being available for the young being remarkably poorly compensated, and it's clear that young Japanese men (and women) can hardly afford to get married, much less have children. The NEET and Hikikomori subcultures are merely symptoms of Japan's profoundly damaged cultural systems. Japan isn't alone, however. Many if not most western nations are already trending towards this reality.

Truth be told, unless the old realize the importance of continual investment in the human capital of the young, the young will not be able to afford to support an increasingly aged populace, sending all society crashing down into chaos. At this rate and in the long-term, social entitlements for the elderly will no longer be affordable. But today's old people don't expect to live terribly long anyways, and see no sense to invest beyond their lifespan. So I expect that if some great social revolution does not occur, in fifty years old people will become dinner. Luckily, that puts me straight into age-range of the hunted, despite my clear innocence.
 

Adam Jensen_v1legacy

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Sep 8, 2011
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I wouldn't blame it on video games and anime as much as I would blame it on lack of time to do anything since Japanese have to work very hard. I heard somewhere that a lot of them have started wearing dippers because they are so stressed out they wet their beds. How the hell do you expect people to be able to sustain a healthy relationship when they can't sustain their own health? Also, they are very traditional. Which is not something you'd expect to be true when you see all the weird things coming from Japan.
 

Strazdas

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May 28, 2011
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Kumagawa Misogi said:
Okay there have been 7 billion+ people on Earth for around 4 months now and nothing has changed so please tell me how we can't sustain that many people?

There are now more obese people than starving people on this planet and we have the ability to produce far more food than we currently do so that is not an issue.

The Earth's population is expected to reach 9 billion by 2050 mostly because of Sub-Saharan Africa. Then it's expected to start to decline.

A good example is fertility to life expectancy for example India

1980 4.7 children per woman, 55 life expectancy
1990 3.9 children per woman, 58 life expectancy
2000 3.1 children per woman, 62 life expectancy
2010 2.6 children per woman, 65 life expectancy
There were millions dieing of hunger before we reached 7 bil and after. not much has changed, fact is, we couldnt sustain the 6bil we had either. we are capable of producing the amount of food, for a short while, then the earths resources will run dry. unless you invent some way to spawn food out of thin air, dont expect to be overweight for long. not to mention all other resources that we are consuming to sustain our population. they wont last long either. infact - you will see that in your lifetime. if the trends of consumption wont change, by 2050 we will all be dead anyway (though im more inclined to think that we will change), so that wont matter that much now will it. and yeah it is true that birth is unhealthy for a mother, but they are built to last longer than men anyway. infact japaneese should be applauded for successfully doing what china failed to do intentionally - population control.
 

Strazdas

Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
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Grathius22 said:
Only 2% of the Earth's surface is populated. Overpopulation is a joke, friend.
70.8% water (unlivable)
~10% desert (one third of land surface)
This follows that we have 2% of ~20% livable land populated. Thats 10% of land populated by humans, ignoring the fact that we live in multi-storeys buildings, which would make that even higher. And thats eve ignoring all the mountains, plains, plateaus, and other geomorphologies that take away from that 20%.
Currently the total arable land is 13.31% of the land surface, with only 4.71% supporting permanent crops.
So we are taking 10% of land, that in most cases are the prime land because who wants to live in, say, antarctica, out of a total 13.31% we have.
so infact overpopulation is an extreley big problem.