Not wanting to go to Prom

Sigmund Av Volsung

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Dec 11, 2009
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Similarly to American High Schools, here in Britain we also have proms at the end of elementary(?)/secondary education.

For me, that date is closing in, and I don't know if I want to go, as I don't enjoy parties, I hate wearing suits/dressing up for occasions, and I would only go to spend time w/ my friends.

The counter-argument is that I'm a "boring" person/loser if I don't go, and I feel that my own family will bully me into going, as otherwise, they'll think that I'm addicted to my PC being the point of no return, also they desperately want to deny that I'm a "nerd". (Apparently, it hasn't clicked for them, or it has to do with the fact that my mum is 53, and my brother is a "Bro", except not stupid, and that most people in my home country are intolerant jackasses(Yes, I'm bitter))

So I will ask you, Escapists on whether or not I'm in the right, or if I'm just being boring.
 

Orange12345

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I didn't go to mine and I'm pretty happy I didn't, I know I would have been bored out of my skull and a downer to everyone else so I didn't go. I am much happier just hanging out with a few of the guys and relaxing, fuck social conventions do what you want to do
 

game-lover

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I say you're in the right.

I didn't wanna go to my proms either. Unfortunately, my mother made go to the first one. But she didn't make me go to the second which is great. Because newsflash, I didn't enjoy the first one.

My feet hurt, it was cold, the music was lame and there wasn't any room too dance, the food was meh... basically boring and a complete waste of my time.
 

Quaxar

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Sep 21, 2009
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First thought to the title: "then don't go..."

Although I enjoy wearing suits I never went to mine either because screw it. I don't drink, I don't enjoy the kind of music they play at these occasions, I'm not great at socializing, the location was in a seriously questionable area and I didn't really like my classmates either.
So yeah, no regrets here. My mother tried pressuring me into going for a bit but she then realized there wasn't much point in getting me to buy a ticket, put on good clothes and go across half the city just to see people I then saw 5 days a week already, just more sober.

I'm someone who likes the idea of proms but would be bored mad actually attending. The only prom I'd go to is the BBC one and I hear that's not exactly cheap. And also two hours of flight away.
 

Dirty Hipsters

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I went to mine, it was rather boring and I didn't really enjoy it. My school rented a really terrible building for it, in a completely different city, and we had to drive there, it was a massive pain in the ass. Thankfully I had a car, but the people who rented limos ended up paying a TON because of how far they had to drive. The whole thing was ridiculous. Then there really wasn't all that much to do there. I mean, yeah, I danced with my date a bit, but I don't enjoy dancing, nor did I enjoy much of the music they played. Other than that there was karaoke and fake gambling. In the end the whole thing was hugely expensive but not very enjoyable. My friends and I would have had a lot more fun had we decided "fuck prom" and just went to Six Flags or something, and we would have saved a ton of money doing it.
 

generals3

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Akichi Daikashima said:
Similarly to American High Schools, here in Britain we also have proms at the end of elementary(?)/secondary education.

For me, that date is closing in, and I don't know if I want to go, as I don't enjoy parties, I hate wearing suits/dressing up for occasions, and I would only go to spend time w/ my friends.

The counter-argument is that I'm a "boring" person/loser if I don't go, and I feel that my own family will bully me into going, as otherwise, they'll think that I'm addicted to my PC being the point of no return, also they desperately want to deny that I'm a "nerd". (Apparently, it hasn't clicked for them, or it has to do with the fact that my mum is 53, and my brother is a "Bro", except not stupid, and that most people in my home country are intolerant jackasses(Yes, I'm bitter))

So I will ask you, Escapists on whether or not I'm in the right, or if I'm just being boring.
Heh, i had somewhat the same problem with my parents being really annoyed at the time i spent on my PC. Though i did also go out quite often (it's just that aside from destroying my liver and gaming i don't do a lot).

Anyway, if you really don't like it you shouldn't go but tbh i think you should. Maybe you'll end up actually having fun. Though you should only go if you know friends who go (a prom alone sounds quite sad :|). The most you have to lose is one night. You can play games any day of the year, not go to proms.

Do mind i'm very biased because i love both dressing up in a suit/tux and partying.
 

DrRockor

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I didn't care personally and went out of indifference. It was at a hotel and I ended up sitting the lobby with a bunch of friends talking. It was pretty good in retrospect. Looking back its weird to see my friends dressed all fancy. If you're not going to enjoy it, screw everyone else and don't go. I will say that its probably the last time you'll see a lot of people from high school, if that factors in.
 

SquidVicious

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Instead of going to my prom I used the money I would have spent on everything (plus my birthday money) and made a weekend getaway trip to San Diego to see a death metal concert. Ended up going to this massive beach party afterwards with a bunch of scruffy looking metalheads who were amused by my more conservative attire, but impressed by my prowess in the mosh pit. Had a great time and actually still keep in contact with a few of them. If you do decide not to go, see if you can do something similar.
 

hazabaza1

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Honestly can't recommend going if you don't want to. I decided to go to mine since I had just started dating my now-ex about a month before and I thought it'd be a nice thing, but it basically just shitty music and food and me having to comfort some guy I hardly knew because he was constantly sobbing about his girlfriend of 3 months breaking up with him about 20 minutes into it.
 

Hero in a half shell

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For our first prom (we are allowed to go on our second last + last year of school because we were a small school) I had a table with all our other friends for the meal, and it was awesome as it was pretty much just a meal out, the disco bit was crap, but you just went into the foyer and chatted.
The second time (my final year at school) again I went without a date, but my friends and I forgot to book a table to make sure we all sat together, so for the meal we were all at random tables, it was a lot crapper, although I got a great photo with all the guys I played football with at school, the photographer even developed it as a black and white to hide our acne so we looked proper gangster yo.

Yeah, prom's nothing special, just make sure you can sit beside a few friends for the meal, and skip the dance, unless you like gyrating to teen disco music in front of your teachers.
 

Kopikatsu

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I never went to any of the school functions. Turned out well, I think, considering the Principal would always come on the PA the next school day and (rightfully) complain that all the kids were a bunch of shits because they literally could not keep from getting drunk and having sex on the dance floor. And under the stairs. And in the bathrooms. And out by the baseball diamond. And in the back of the bus.
 
Jan 27, 2011
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==
TLDR version: It was kinda fun for me, but honestly, if you don't wanna go, then don't freakin go. It's not all that amazing.
==

I didn't care about grade school prom, instead I had friends come over and play Mario Kart.

My parents never let me hear the end of it.

For high school prom? I was practically forced to go. >_> Despite me hating the [email protected]#$ing school. Because "you only have ONE HIGH SCHOOL GRAD!!! You can't miss that! Come on! It'll be fun fun fun fun funfun....." Ugh...

Well, for the record, it wasn't bad. The assholes kept to themselves that night.

-
Then, when the 5 year reunion came around, my mom said I should go. I said why. She said "Well, what else do you have planned?" "Umm...Hang out with my friends and play games" "But you can do that any weekend! Don't you wanna know what happened to your high school friends?"

To which I gave a resounding "What, all two of them that I don't care about anymore? I want to pretend those 5 years never happened. I don't give a rat's ASS what became of everyone there.".

Thankfully, the many years since then have been free of such stupid things.

But I swear, if I ever get married and she starts whining about what kind of music and stuff we pick, I'm putting my foot down again. Harder this time.
 

generals3

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Kopikatsu said:
I never went to any of the school functions. Turned out well, I think, considering the Principal would always come on the PA the next school day and (rightfully) complain that all the kids were a bunch of shits because they literally could not keep from getting drunk and having sex on the dance floor. And under the stairs. And in the bathrooms. And out by the baseball diamond. And in the back of the bus.
O.O I can't imagine the reaction of my old high school if they caught people having sex. It would have probably been expulsion without any possibility to appeal. (but than again, it was a catholic high school)
 

Kopikatsu

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generals3 said:
Kopikatsu said:
I never went to any of the school functions. Turned out well, I think, considering the Principal would always come on the PA the next school day and (rightfully) complain that all the kids were a bunch of shits because they literally could not keep from getting drunk and having sex on the dance floor. And under the stairs. And in the bathrooms. And out by the baseball diamond. And in the back of the bus.
O.O I can't imagine the reaction of my old high school if they caught people having sex. It would have probably been expulsion without any possibility to appeal. (but than again, it was a catholic high school)
The harshest punishment I remember anyone getting for that was a week's suspension. For reference, in Middle School, I was given two weeks suspension for being beaten up by two other kids. No, not beating someone else up, I got suspension for being beaten up. But that's 'Murrika for you.
 

TheRightToArmBears

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I didn't go to either of mine (had one at the end of secondary school, and also one at the end of 6th Form). For the first, my then-girlfriend and I sat in, which was possibly one of the happiest nights of my life as her mum was super-relaxed, bought us four bottles of wine and steaks and left us the house for the night. Not just because sex, but it was just nice, it felt much more sensible an grown up, despite getting hammered.

For the second, me and my mates just went out into town and got absolutely fucked, then crashed the after party. They seemed like they had fun and they were fairly drunk, but we were on a whole other level that night. If I run into people from my year, they'll tell me some anecdote from the party about a conversation we had, and I'll have no idea what they're talking about, which is probably for the best.

I've never been one for formal events, and at the time of leaving secondary school I was kinda shy. By the time the second one rolled around, my mates and I really decided to have as little as we could to do with the rest of our year. We just didn't get on to well, people treated us like we were freaks because we were the 'alternative' lot. We didn't really share the spirit of the occasion you could say, I can't say I really regret not going, except maybe to say farewell to a few of my teachers. Besides, a lot of our friends weren't at our 6th form, we didn't fancy the idea of going to a big party that they weren't at, so we did our own thing.

If you don't want to go, then don't go, it's really no big deal. My parents were pretty cool about it (I was also the 3rd son, so they kinda knew it wasn't all that). I know people that went to theirs' and they say it was a bit overhyped, so I'm not sure you're really missing out. It's just a party where you have to wear a suit, can't drink or smoke and it's full of people you don't really like. I don't regret not going at all.
 

Johnny Impact

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Prom is for you. It is not for your parents, nor your intolerant jackass community. If you don't want to go to prom, it's nobody's damn business but yours.

I did not go to my prom and I am very happy I did not. Awkward kid, no friends, would have just been another venue for shitheads to bully me, etc etc. I have enough bad memories.

If it helps, my parents didn't understand either.
 
Jan 29, 2009
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I went and realized it wouldn't matter if I hadn't. Not a big deal, some people just really like to hype it up. If dances are your thing, then go ahead, but otherwise do what you want to do.
 

Arakasi

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I went to mine, after hearing the same logic and reasoning you are now no doubt hearing, had one of the worst times I've ever had.

Do not recommend.
 

DugMachine

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Prom is meh. I went to mine for 20 minutes but me and my date got bored so we went to her house, drank/smoked and fooled around. WAY better than going to prom.

I feel bad cause my parents spent money on a tuxedo and money so I could take her to a fancy restaurant. All so I could spend the night high in fancy clothes haha.
 

Dansen

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Mar 24, 2010
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Its your choice. That being said, I would definitely like to go If I can get a date, already got turned down once working myself up for round two. Its just something different to do. I totally get where you are coming from, I'm a shy guy too, its scary to go to huge social events. But I don't want to be that guy who stays at home any more, depression and anxiety have gotten in my way all these years but now that I'm treating it I'm beginning to see just how many things I have missed because of my fears. You will never know if you don't try, but speaking for myself personally I would rather take the risk then spend the rest of my life wondering if I made the right decision(at least you will know the answer if you end up going). Final verdict: If you are on the fence(I'm assuming you are since you made this thread)just do it, worst case scenario, you hate it and go home a bit early.

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