Not wanting to go to Prom

Brutal Peanut

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Oct 15, 2010
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I didn't go to any of my dances or proms. I went to one sports dinner/event thing for my softball team when I was in Junior High (8th grade). I was bored and my parents paid too much for my dress because the event sounded like it was going to be way nicer than it actually was. They didn't even get the name right on my 'award' (slip of cheap printing paper). In High School I was never asked to any dances and everything seemed way too expensive for me to just go and be by myself all evening. I remember acquaintances putting done hundreds of dollars of their own money to apparently be miserable. None of it seemed worth it, to me.

My parents were a bit upset by this. I told them I'd dress up and let them take pictures so they could pretend I'd gone, if that made them feel better. It would be like taking a picture of a one year old with a balloon and saying, "Oh, it was your 1st Birthday party!".....but there was no party, because babies don't remember shit.
 

WouldYouKindly

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Apr 17, 2011
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Well, I can only compare how I felt. I would have been going to prom to spend time listening to music I didn't like, surrounded be people I by and large didn't like, some of which I outright hated, and wouldn't even be spending time with my friends since the few I had wouldn't be there anyway. So yeah, not going was kind of a no brainer for me even if my parents and especially my sister thought I should have gone. I explained this logic to them and they by and far left me alone about it. I did not regret it at the time because I was ludicrously socially awkward. The person I am now, I definitely would have gone(still would hate the music, would have to try to take over the PA or sound system and play something I liked).

Ultimately, it's a personal decision. If you think you'd have fun even despite the limited friend circle and terrible music, go. If not, don't let social pressure make you spend all that money and have a crappy time.
 

rasputin0009

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Feb 12, 2013
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A good reason to go would be for the after party. I don't know what's with it, but everybody is a lot more horned up on prom night. Mine was basically a high school orgy. Must have been the thought of never seeing some of your classmates again that everybody just lets loose.

I had a blast at the party, but the actual prom was boring as fuck. It's mostly for your parents to celebrate that you graduated. Pictures and whatnot.
 

bluerocker

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Sep 22, 2011
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I went to my prom and honestly, I had more fun with doing stuff BEFORE the prom than going to the darn thing. I met up with a bunch of friends and we all went out to eat and hung out.

However, the prom itself was kinda lame, and nobody really followed through on the masquerade theme except for myself and a select few.

So, you don't want to go; then don't, especially if you don't like big parties.
 

Kuilui

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Apr 1, 2010
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I didn't go to any of my proms or anything. Most of the people that went hated it and basically immediately crawled out of the bathroom windows and went and got drunk at a party or something. I also didn't go because they lock you in and your not allowed to leave until it was over and crawling out a window and walking home if I didn't like how it was going didn't sound like fun to me. Not to mention I hate blasting music and the suffocatingly small gym. The last thing I needed to do was have a panic attack in that place..No thank you. and well I could keep going. I also hated or didn't want to be around most of the people I knew were going. It's a long list that just keeps going lol.

Point is I didn't have any interest in going and I'm still glad I didn't go several years later. Don't worry about it and tell your family members to mind their own business just because they like(d) something doesn't mean you have to or that makes you weird or odd or whatever. Or start giving them shit about their own life choices if they give it to you. After high school absolutely none of that garbage matters anyway, kind of like high school itself really. Mostly just there to emotionally scar you or physically.
 

soren7550

Overly Proud New Yorker
Dec 18, 2008
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By the sound of things, you don't want to go and a prom isn't your kind of thing.

I didn't go to mine, and I'm not terribly sorry that I missed it (the only things that I can say I'd wanted to go there for was to see one of my teachers dance with his wife, and what the deal was with this mystery dude everyone seemed to really hate afterwords [turned out it was a driver that busted them for drinking or something similar]). Didn't have a date either, nor was I friends with any of my classmates, so there's that.

However, my mother tried forcing me to go, even offered to pay for it, which was mind boggling since she she didn't want to pay for school supplies, give me a quarter for lunch, pay for the senior dues (the thing you have to pay if you want a yearbook and to be able to attend the graduation), take me in for an eye exam that I needed, pay bills, get food, get clothes that I had been needing for a few years, or anything else that should have had priority with this idiot woman.
 

Belaam

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Nov 27, 2009
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Good grief, if you don't think you'd have a good time, don't go. In that mindset, you won't even if it isn't as terrible as you think it will be. (

I went to my Senior Prom, but not my Junior and I really only went to that as a last chance to hang out with a friend from another city who was moving cross country that summer, so she went as my date. We had a grand time making fun of the event, and though we are facebook friends, she lives about 6,000 miles away and I haven't seen her in person since then. If it hadn't been for that, I probably wouldn't have gone to mine either.

I do love the ideas above about saving the money and going somewhere else. To a concert you like, a convention, arts festival, etc.

The thing to keep in mind is that, particularly if you are going to college/university you are really never going to see secondary school friends. Maybe home for vacation the first few years, and then that's it. I have exactly one good friend from high school with whom I am still good friends, and even him, I only see maybe half a dozen times a year.

TL;DR The opinions of your secondary school classmates is something that will barely matter in the course of your life; go do something you enjoy instead.
 

scorptatious

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May 14, 2009
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I remember that I almost went to my senior prom. (In our high school we called it a "ball", the "prom" was for the juniors, which I didn't go to either)

I was kinda pushed into asking this girl I liked to go to the senior ball even though I didn't want to go. At the same time though, I really liked this girl and wanted to go out with her, so I sorta felt obligated to take her. So I asked her, she said she had to "ask her mom first"

Later on, when I asked whether she could go or not, she said she had to find a dress first.

At least one week before the ball, I still didn't get a straight up answer, and I needed to rent a tux, so I checked if she picked out a dress and she still hasn't found one.

I didn't realize it back then, but I think she didn't want to go and didn't want to give me a straight up answer. So we just didn't go after that.

So yeah, I didn't go to my senior prom, and frankly I don't feel too bad about it. From what I heard, it wasn't too exciting anyway.

So, I guess all I can say is if you're not going to go, don't feel bad about it.
 

Dalisclock

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Didn't go to mine, but I didn't go to anything unless it was MANDATORY. And later I got really good at ducking out of those as well. I'm pretty sure I didn't miss anything, but then again, I didn't care about 95% of the people who went to my school either.
 

Mrkillhappy

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Sep 18, 2012
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I'd say the choice is up to you. I didn't even bother going to mine because I hated the music I knew they would play and basically none of my friends wanted to go, I would be basically surrounded by people I didn't like at all, typically a lot of fights and violence came up as other schools would start shit their, and the girl I asked wanted to go and instead just wanted to hangout(since we were friends). So I just hung with friends that night and parted. I regret nothing.

Also don't let your classmate make you feel bad if you choose not to go because what ever you choose to do it most likely won't impact your life.


*captcha* "know thyself"
Fitting words for this thread.
 

Heaven's Guardian

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Oct 22, 2011
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Proms are meant for the sort of people who enjoy all of the spectacle and celebration involved. I will say that, depending on the size of your school and whether you let people know in advance you won't be going, you may have to put up with a lot though. I told a friend that I wasn't going more than a year in advance and had to deal with so many questions and attempts to convince me otherwise for an entire year, and they even asked me to go the the school counselor to question me on my decision. Apparently I was the first person in the history of the school to ditch (100 y/o small private school), so I do feel the need to warn you that going through all the interrogations might be more annoying than a couple of hours of prom night. Otherwise, have fun doing any of the myriad number of things that might be more interesting than prom!
 

shrimpcel

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Sep 5, 2011
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I wanted to go, and I did, but my ex-girlfriend decided to be a total asshole on the occasion (jealousy) so it ended up sucking very bad for me.

I think you should go, because despite what you may think, it may be fun. It's always cool to be with your friends, no matter the occasion (otherwise, well, they're not real friends). Just keep in mind that even the people who go there thinking they'll enjoy it may end up having mostly bad memories about it, like me.

Oh and being a nerd doesn't mean you can't be sociable, I can vouch for that.
 
Sep 9, 2007
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I went to mine and I kinda regretted it. It was fairly boring and most of my friends didn't go. Going to the casino with my sister afterwards and winning $100 made up for it, though.
 

thejackyl

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Apr 16, 2008
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As someone who has gone to every one of his Homecomings and Proms, all I can say is unless you have someone to go with, be it friends or a significant other than don't go.

I was a bit of a loner in High School(Freshman and Sophomore year) due to the fact that I was socially awkward, and hung out with the "nerdy" crowd, and I was that one kid that EVERYONE made fun of. And when I went (I was pressured by some other friends to go), I would hang out with them for a while, and they'd all split up to go out and dance or hang with other friends and I was left alone to dance by myself or try to find someone to dance with, since my other friends didn't go.

Even the times I had a date (one prom, two homecomings), I still didn't enjoy it. It was mostly just me, her, and her friends standing around talking until a slow song played and than dancing to that, repeat 2 or 3 times. I might have enjoyed it better if my girlfriend wasn't a total ***** and would've actually hung out with my friends for a while.

Side note: When my senior prom came around, I was put on the Prom King ballot as a joke vote, AND WON. However the principal didn't like me and the person who "won" wasn't even on the ballot.

Moral of the story: Don't go unless you're outgoing, have a large amount of friends that are going, or have a significant other dragging you to go.
 

mysecondlife

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Feb 24, 2011
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I ended up not going to my prom. I asked out a friend and she said yes. But she mostly hung out with girls that are fat and unattractive (with unlikable personality if I must add). Because her friends didn't get a prom date it somehow meant she couldn't go with a date either. Ultimately she chose her friends over me. And she wonders why we don't talk anymore.


But from the things I've heard my prom was pretty mediocre. Nothing I would've wanted to be a part of. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to prom back then and I sure don't regret it now.
 

Voulan

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Jul 18, 2011
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The closest we have to that in New Zealand is the 'formal', and I didn't got to that either. It looked exactly as you described it. The one thing I was forced to go to was my graduation after party, but that was actually a nice event - everyone's family was there, naturally, and involved a nice meal and lots of photos. No dates were necessary, because that was my day, not some idiot guy that I'd probably break up with a few weeks later and have all of my graduations photos ruined with.

Proms always seemed a bit tacky based on movies I've seen. Definitely go to your graduation, but screw prom.
 

Eliwood10

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Feb 4, 2013
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I never went to my prom. I fact, I never went to any school dances. Why would I want to go a place I have to attend every day, stand in a hot room around people I don't like, and listen to music I hate all night... and have to pay to get in.

I was much happier hanging out with friends on those nights. The only drawback is that now when I tell people I never went to a school dance, they look at me like I've got baby komodo dragons protruding from my eye sockets.
 

uchytjes

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Mar 19, 2011
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If you've got a friend to go with, go ahead and do it! Even more so if you've got a girl/boyfriend.