Obama has killed...
- Thread starter XJ-0461
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I still find it hilarious that everyone is posting about this, yet no one read what really happened.
And in related news, the entire House of Representatives have just been found to have allegedly engaged in autonomous mass-destruction of several forms of bacteria and viruses through the wanton and careless employment of their lymphatic systems.
So far not a single representative has apologized for their gratuitous extermination of single-celled and quasi-alive creatures. However, representatives for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) have issued a statement, saying, "We deplore and condemn the senseless killing of all bacterial and virulent life forms merely attempting to coexist. We call on the Representatives to apologize for their actions and donate freely and most profitously [sic] toward PETA."
In other news, former Vice President Dick Cheney has been named a hero of PETA for his role in reducing the destruction of single-celled organisms. As Cheney has not had an operating immune system, or any observable signs of life for years, he has become a diverse and ideal habitat for bacteria, fungi, and even a few scavenger creatures.
PETA still recognizes his role in the quail-shooting incident in 2006, but are pleased he has refrained from shooting creatures other than humans since, and has set up his in-vivo habitat. He has been awarded the Purple Pansy award by PETA for his recent efforts.
So far not a single representative has apologized for their gratuitous extermination of single-celled and quasi-alive creatures. However, representatives for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) have issued a statement, saying, "We deplore and condemn the senseless killing of all bacterial and virulent life forms merely attempting to coexist. We call on the Representatives to apologize for their actions and donate freely and most profitously [sic] toward PETA."
In other news, former Vice President Dick Cheney has been named a hero of PETA for his role in reducing the destruction of single-celled organisms. As Cheney has not had an operating immune system, or any observable signs of life for years, he has become a diverse and ideal habitat for bacteria, fungi, and even a few scavenger creatures.
PETA still recognizes his role in the quail-shooting incident in 2006, but are pleased he has refrained from shooting creatures other than humans since, and has set up his in-vivo habitat. He has been awarded the Purple Pansy award by PETA for his recent efforts.
The only "PETA" there should be is "People Eating Tasty Animals - For Every Animal You Won't Eat, I'm Eating Three!"
But then also explain that if they build a sidewalk to avoid walking in the grass they're killing even more ants and other such adorable little insects because they're putting several hundred pounds of fucking concrete on them.Stevato said:
And if they buy any product made in a factory, said factory was using electricity which was probably generated by a fossil fuel plant which emits greenhouse gasses with contribute to global warming which contributes to habitat loss and species killing.
Someone also needs to explain to them that humans are animals, and if we can't eat meat then neither can lions, tigers, bears, oh my's, or any other creature. Everyone MUST be vegetarian, because when you eat meat you're killing.
But what about eating plants, that's murder too, isn't it? Just of plants. But it's still murder.
I like how Obama can be cool and humorous about something like "hey guys look, I killed a fly that was totally asking for it." And only PETA is like "oh you SON OF A *****". I bet even McCain was like "...well-done, Mr. Gay Socialist Muslim Terrorist Obama. You at least know how to kill things right."
I'm seriously starting to wonder if PETA isn't actually a fake organization created by....somebody to discredit the animal rights movement, because it's getting harder and harder to imagine PETA saying this shit and actually meaning it.
Or perhaps it's a massive joke and they want to see just how far they can take it before even the loonies start to leave.
Or perhaps it's a massive joke and they want to see just how far they can take it before even the loonies start to leave.
