Offend me

[Spade Lead]

Offending you would validate your desire for me to acknowledge you.
You were 30 seconds of my life, and then you were forgotten without leaving a trace.

I have to say:

Most epic first post in the HISTORY of the Escapist, possibly the internet.

 

[BarbaricGoose]

snip

What's your name? I need a first name in order to begin my vicious assault.

 

[Spade Lead]

You have "thickened skin"?

Read: "I belong to a priveleged majority and have never encountered discrimination in my life."

Googled it and can't find it. Link me?

Can't tell if serious...

"Read" in such a context is "read as" or "should be read as". I can't believe I'm having to explain this.

Incidentally, it's hard to be offended when one hasn't even formulated their own opinions about anything. Going off "Liberal (I guess)."

Why are you a liberal?

Well I found privileged minority, just wasn't sure if that's what you meant.

Actually, having read this little series of posts, I KNOW you are too stupid to get my rant. Just get the fuck off the internet and pay attention to the real world.

Privileged MAJORITY is the term. It means your spoiled brat ass is a member of the dominant gender/race in your section of society, and as such, you don't think anyone who is not just like you matters.

 

[ninjaRiv]

Shit, somebody already beat me to the Monty Python material.

Um... You smell funny and your dog hates you.

Your babies will look like you and that isn't a good thing.

Your breath has a similar odour to decaying genitals.

Being 17 is like... Not quite being 18!

You're a whitey, or something!

Being in Australia, you must be... Upside down!!! Yeah!

Darn it, I can only really offend people I don't like...

 

[ccggenius12]

I enjoy when your (local sports team) loses at (the game they play).
Yeah, take that!
Also, your name is now Scooter.

Spoiler

 

[Olas]

How art thou, though globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil?
Come get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!
I mean, what happened? Did your balls drop off?
You are not special! You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.
You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.

 

[Sam Plater]

I have an IQ of 207, I am a mathematical genius, a literary guru and am philosophically insightful. I am in peak physical condition, I can run 50 miles with ease and am the captain of my university's basketball team. I am 6 feet 5 inches tall, I have been featured in several magazines for my style, I have a beautiful and intelligent girlfriend who will love me until the end of time. I am perfect in every way, I am so much better than you that you do not even deserve to read the words I have typed. Your pathetic attempt to show your 'superior' mind is laughable to me. I pity you and anyone who has ever met you, for you will never be as good as me, not if you tried until the universe collapsed upon itself and you were somehow the only person left in the infinity of what is beyond space, the memory of this message and the perfection that is me would still outshine you.

 

[FalloutJack]

You're Rick Santorum.

Do I win?

 

[Evil Smurf]

I am a fat, racist who is secretly gay.

I would offend you but you did it to yourself

 

[TKretts3]

Depressed? Parents divorced? Unfit? This is just pathetic. It's God damn disgraceful and disrespectful to the people that have actual, real, problems in their lives, that you come in here and pull all of this crap out of your ass in some moronic attempt to get us to feel bad for you. Well guess what, it's not going to work. If anything I feel bad for the people in real life who have to put up with trash like you. I feel bad for your parents who have teachers and students come up to them thinking that they're divorced. I feel bad for the people around you who are actually depressed and see you running around flaunting your lies. Have you thought about what you're doing to those people? For all you know you could be sending them further into depression. For all you know you could have been the final straw, the spark that made them take their own lives. You disgust me.

Take your lies somewhere else you piece of shit.

 

[thekaas]

There is nothing wrong with the production and distribution of child pornography.

You sir can get right the crunch out.

Mission accomplished, I guess? Or does it have to be OP?

 

[PurpleLeafRave]

*edit* Repeated comment.

 

[Joccaren]

You are about 75% my clone. Nice.

Thanks to this, I really doubt you'll get offended by anything. Its impossible to offend me, and I'd guess that goes for you too. Closest you could get would be pissing me off when I'm in a depressed mood. That wouldn't offend me though, that'd just piss me off - and considering I have anger management issues too, that's not a good move.

Anyway, good luck with getting offended. Its actually pretty hard.

 

[Friendly Lich]

Judging by the avatar you chose and the nature of this thread are you also a bit of a masochist?

 

[Johnny Impact]

I was going to do this http://boards.4chan.org/b/ (not suitable for work, or kids, or your parents, or anyone else really) but I see the whole damn thread is people talking about 4chan. So, umm... never mind?

You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

Sorry. I got nothin'.

 

[HalfTangible]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

Little late on that one.

 

[The White Hunter]

Give it ten years, have a kid, then i'll make dead baby jokes :3

This is how you tell a thick skinned man from a boy who just doesn't care:

My second Daughter was stillborn in March of 2009. I still laugh at dead baby jokes.

You are one cold ************.

I haven't had kids yet so I can't speak for myself.
I probably will laugh at them.

What's worse than 12 dead babies nailed to a tree?

 

[hazabaza1]

Give it ten years, have a kid, then i'll make dead baby jokes :3

This is how you tell a thick skinned man from a boy who just doesn't care:

My second Daughter was stillborn in March of 2009. I still laugh at dead baby jokes.

You are one cold ************.

I haven't had kids yet so I can't speak for myself.
I probably will laugh at them.

What's worse than 12 dead babies nailed to a tree?

1 dead baby nailed to 12 trees?

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree?

 

[The White Hunter]

Give it ten years, have a kid, then i'll make dead baby jokes :3

This is how you tell a thick skinned man from a boy who just doesn't care:

My second Daughter was stillborn in March of 2009. I still laugh at dead baby jokes.

You are one cold ************.

I haven't had kids yet so I can't speak for myself.
I probably will laugh at them.

What's worse than 12 dead babies nailed to a tree?

1 dead baby nailed to 12 trees?

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree?

Hazabaza1's cock while he's doing it? =p

Ah, nothing like sick and twisted humour.
Oh and yeah 1 nailed to twelve trees.

Do you know the one about the pile of dead babies?

 

[hazabaza1]

Give it ten years, have a kid, then i'll make dead baby jokes :3

This is how you tell a thick skinned man from a boy who just doesn't care:

My second Daughter was stillborn in March of 2009. I still laugh at dead baby jokes.

You are one cold ************.

I haven't had kids yet so I can't speak for myself.
I probably will laugh at them.

What's worse than 12 dead babies nailed to a tree?

1 dead baby nailed to 12 trees?

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree?

Hazabaza1's cock while he's doing it? =p

Ah, nothing like sick and twisted humour.
Oh and yeah 1 nailed to twelve trees.

Do you know the one about the pile of dead babies?

Dang it, you got me.
Haven't heard that one, no.